After the Crunch
Disclaimer: I do not own Secret Window or Johnny Depp.
That doesn't mean I don't want him though! leaps into his bedroom
Johnny Depp: Oh my gosh, who are you??
Nooli: That is not the question you should be asking. You should be asking yourself
who you are.
JD: Huh?
N: YOU'RE MINE!! GRARGH!!!! tackles him
JD: Help!!!
N: ties up arms and feet and gags him
JD: frantic thrashing
N: Buahahahaha!!!! drags him to her basement
ANYHOW… here's the story
Chapter 1: The OTHER Side
crunch
Mort Rainey: Mmm! This corn is really, really, really good!
Sherriff Dude: Yea, I bet. drool Can I have some?
M: Aaah! No! -hugs corn and leaps on top of desk, crouching-
SD: 0.0
M: Stay back, you! -brandishes another ear of corn as a weapon-
SD: 0.0;;
M: -does kung-fu and karate moves- WAAAaaaaAAAA ya! It's pronounced kah-rah-tay!
M: -beats sheriff to pulp with corn-
Homicidal Mort (in Mort's head): WHAT WAS THAT FOR???
M: I had to protect the corn! -puts hands on hips- DUHHHHHHH!
HM: Okayyyyyyyyy….
M: -kisses corn-
HM: So what do we do know?
M: Uhhh…. Good question. Hm. -scratches head
HM: How about we get rid of the body????
M: How about we get rid of the body?
HM: That's what I just said.
M: -mimics- That's what I just saaaaaaaaid. Jeez, can't you see I'm busy here??!!
HM: -rolls eyes-
M: -drags body outside and throws in lake-
HM: You'd think they'd notice a car, and now a body in the lake.
M: HEY! THE BODY'S FLOATING!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO????? HELP ME!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'LL CATCH ME, AND
PUT ME IN PRISON, AND I'LL GET RAPED!!!!!!!!!!
HM: Woah, disturbing mental image.
M: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
HM: Mort?
M: -HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
HM: Mort! Take a breath!
M: -HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. –wheeze- -Sees
squirrel on branch- Hello Mr. Squirrel! -faint-
HM: Oh, great. Just great. -Homicidal Mort comes out of Mort's mind appears in
physical form- -looks around- I hope no one's seeing this… -does mouth to mouth-
M: -flutters eyelids-
HM: You're alive!
M: -opens eyes- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What the HELL are you doing on top of me? Get OFF of me, you whore!
HM: For YOUR information, dickhead, I just saved your god damn life. Aren't you
going to thank me?
M: -bambi eyes- Okay. -approaches Homicidal Mort-
M: Hey! Where did that thought come from? What am I doing??
HM: Woah woah, what are you doing? -backs away-
M: -blows kiss- You know you want me.
HM: Hm, now that you say it, you are pretty attractive, since you look just like me.
-snicker- Wait! What am I thinking?!!
M: -Perverted Mort comes out of Mort's mind and appears in physical form-
PM: How about a group orgy?
M & HM: -run away in terror-
PM: … Was it something I said?
Sorry this was short, but I hope y'all liked it!! This is my very first fan fic. Lots of feed back please! Read and review!! Tell me if I should keep writing or not. I want at least one review before I write more. I hav the second chapter written up (and its much longer) but I want to know if I should put it up or not. Thank you!