It might sound ridiculous, but to those who have survived it, they know, you can feel it. You can't
hear the cracking, or feel it crash into the hollow of your gut, but the fractures, creeping across
your heart, that's what you feel, tightening into it's core. As I stood there, seeing them as I had every day for as long I
could remember, it all changed, and that sudden realisation was like a bullet. My heart broke for the
second time, because he had chosen her, again.
I stood in a violent stillness as I witnessed them remember. Their confused faces glaring down at
their awkward entwining of fingers. He pulled his hands free first, something I would find solace in
later. The entire dinner began to hum, people waking up, after so long. Two lives melding into one,
the room was electric. I felt sick. I couldn't move, or breath and my eyes began to burn.
There he was, the love of my life, and he only starred at her. I watched as they began to talk, trying
to make sense of their lives. But I knew words would never be enough. He had betrayed me again,
whether he realised it yet or not. I backed my self towards the door, I had to leave but eyes refused
to look away, a masochist in any lifetime.
The door was pulled open behind me, a blast of cold air sending a chill into the already eerie room.
People pushed past me, hurriedly trying to find others that were lost. I was lost and I had nowhere
to go. Eric was my home, who I had fought for and belonged to, but not in this world. In this world
I was just Ahva, in this world, he never even saw me.
I had to run, the shards of my heart were pounding, I couldn't stay. As I turned out into the evening
grey, he called out "Ahva." his voice was hollow, echoing through the muted crowd. I knew he
would follow, but I couldn't let him catch me, so I ran.
His footsteps were close behind mine, "Ahva? Please..." he didn't know what to say as much as I
did, I called over my shoulder for him to go away, but still, there he was, racing with me through
familiar streets of one life or the other. My lungs began to ache, sports aren't my strong point
in school. I yelled again for him to leave, but he was as stubborn as ever. "Ahva, please, I'm sorry. I
don't understand." I couldn't bring my self to respond, the fire in my lungs was rising in my throat
but I pushed onwards, I was running away, I know that.
"Ariel!" that name was forgotten, hearing it in his voice and in such a tone, startled me. I stopped,
glued to the side walk. He spoke my name with such ferocity. I felt his eyes burning into my back. I
knew if I turned now, I would forgive him for everything, he really pissed me off.