Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. Just good ole, fashioned Fan Fic for the Twilight lover in all of us:)
Bella's POV
Before I was even able to compose myself, Jacob snatched me up into his arms and carried me off into the woods. Our destination? An obscure location high up in the mountains, where Victoria and the Newborns would be unable to find me.
Jacob seemed particularly annoyed and put-off about the entire scenario. Ever since his recent transformation his mood swings had become an irritatingly permanent fixture of his personality. I had forever lost my sunshiny best friend who had always been a guaranteed "good mood pill" on the worst of days. Now, it was like trying to pick up a book I'd read a thousand times, only to discover it had become an entirely different story.
He roughly tossed me from one arm to another, back and forth, as he maneuvered quickly through the trees. Unlike, Edward who had always done everything within his power to handle me delicately, Jacob didn't seem to mind that my body was no match for his strength. I knew the second he put me down, I'd likely be riddled with bruises from his carelessness.
"Do you mind not being so rough with me, Jake?" I snapped, as he ran agilely ahead.
"What are you talking about, Bells?" he said, his breath staying even-keel despite the fact that he was running.
"Am I that heavy? Or are you trying to hurt me?"
I could feel his chest rise and fall with a hearty chuckle.
"Wow, I thought that dating a leech would prepare you for this kind of man-handling. Or maybe not. He really isn't all that much of a man, is he?" he asked, a disgusting smile plastered on his smug little face.
"You really are enjoying this, aren't you," I growled.
"Enjoying what?"
"The fact that I'm TRAPPED here with you. I can't run away. I can't ignore you. You're here, in my face for the next several hours. I simply have to endure whatever crap you might throw in my direction."
He laughed again, all the more amused. He clearly had the upper hand and it was beyond irritating watching him relish in that fact. "You didn't answer the question, Bella," he said, pulling me tighter against his chest while I tried my best to writhe away.
"What question?"
"He really isn't all that much of a man…is he?"
I pummeled my fist into his chest. "He's twice the man you will ever be."
A deep laugh billowed out of him like thunder. Apparently that was the most hilarious thing he'd heard all year. God, I hated him. I had had enough of his amusement at my expense.
"Oh, OK, Jacob. You really think you're more of a man than Edward? You act like a five year old, half the time."
"I might act like a five year old, but I don't look like one, which is why you're so damn uncomfortable right now"
"Get over yourself, Jacob. You couldn't be a man if you tried."
"You think so? Really, Bella? Deep down you really believe that?" he said, coolly assured of himself.
"I really believe that, Jacob," I seethed.
"So, never in your life, have I creeped into your late night fantasies when Edward left you high and dry? You never once considered what it might be like to be with a man who could actually satisfy you?"
"The thought repulses me actually," I lied. There was no harm in enjoying a few harmless sexual fantasies starring, my best friend. Besides, they were simply fantasties, not manifestations of inner truth or any indication of who and what I really wanted. "You repulse me!" I added, hoping to convince myself that I actually thought so. The comment made him laugh all over again, this time even more hysterically. I was getting more and more agitated by the minute. I hated his smugness and this strange certainty he had that I saw him as a sexual object.
"Ok. I'll take your word for it," he said playfully as he ran even faster through the forest. The running had a dizzying effect, leaving me with no option but to turn my body into his chest and shield my eyes from the trees which were now whizzing by.
For a long while we didn't speak but I could hear the pronounced thud of his heart that maintained the steadiest of beats- as if he was standing still. Although the weather was getting more and more cold the higher up we went, Jacob radiated so much heat that I couldn't have felt more comfortable in his arms. The exception, of course, being my toes. They only had my shoes and socks for warmth, not their own personal space heater.
Part of me felt a tinge of sadness for Jacob. Despite the fact that he did get on my nerves, he was one of my favorite people in the world. He and I had gotten so close during the months of Edward's absence and he had been so hopeful that things between us might evolve into more than just a friendship. If Edward never came back, maybe it would have. I had considered it, even though it went against everything I felt inside. After having known how deeply I loved Edward Cullen, my feelings for Jacob would always pale in comparison.
It seemed unfair. Jacob had one of the biggest hearts in the world and he needed a woman who would appreciate all that he was able to give. Whoever ended up with him would be one of the luckiest people on the planet. Even with his newly adopted predisposition for moodiness, he was an incredible person-loving, protective, and fiercely loyal. Before I could get carried away in personal adoration for my noble best friend, he quickly reminded me not to:
"Bells, take off my shirt, would you?" he asked, his pace slowing to a walk.
"What? Wait, did I misunderstand you, or did you just ask me to take off your shirt?" I said with a disgusted scowl on my face.
He grinned mischieviously. "Nope. You heard me right. Take it off."
"Oh, I don't think so, Jake," I said. He was trying to stir the pot and the fact that he derived SO much amusement from his ridiculous overtures were nauseating to me.
"Bella. Not for YOUR benefit. For mine. I'm hot as shit and I need this damn thing off of me."
"Your shirt off would not be for MY benefit Jacob Black!" I yelled, trying to stomach the fact that he even thought that would turn me on.
An even bigger smile crossed his lips and his eyes, softened, "God, I love when you call me by my full name."
"UGH!" I screamed, punching my fist into his chest with frustration.
"Look. I'm just playing around. I know you don't give two shits about seeing me half naked. You've seen me half naked a thousand times before and it's never made a difference to you. I know you'd rather have a bloodless, soulless leech who is more concerned killing you than kissing you. Personally, I'd rather be with someone who could kiss me, but I'm not you. So, forget it. But listen, I'm burning up from all this running and carrying you and I can't risk dropping you if I try and take the damn thing off myself. We've gotten so far without a trace of your scent being left behind. I'm not about to fuck it all up because you're being a prude," he had now come to a complete stop and his head was tilted downward waiting for me to respond.
I stared up at him, unsure of why this entire scenario made me so nervous. He was right. I'd seen him half naked a million times leading up to this moment, why was this one making me uncomfortable? Maybe it was the fact that every moment leading up to this one, Jacob had come to me already in a state of undress…but now, I was being asked to do the undressing. It was crossing a strange boundary that had always existed between he and I. Also... I had never removed a man's clothing in my life, not even Edward's.
Jacob stared down at me with anticipation. His request to help lessen the overwhelming heat that was emanating from him did seem genuine. I pulled away from him a bit, giving myself a distance that I needed in order to keep up the appearance of complete sexual disinterest. My hands moved down the contours of his chest delicately, hesitating to reach the bottom of his tee shirt. When they finally arrived there, my fingers slipped underneath of it, grabbing the sides with my fingers which accidentally brushed against the bare skin of his torso. The feeling of my bare skin on his own released a sudden shock of excitement through my body. I took in a deep breath, bit my lip, and ever so slowly began to lift the shirt over his head. Jacob watched me intently- not looking away for even a second. It was clear his mind was wandering somewhere it shouldn't be wandering. There was a fire in the way he looked at me and it made me uncomfortable to be this close to him and know that even if I wanted to, I was not able to run away. When one of his arms had found its way out of the armhole, he tenderly repositioned me so that I could pull the shirt out from the other arm that was still trapped. Not wanting to prolong this weirdness between us, I yanked it off like a bandaid and froze with his black teeshirt in hand and his muscular chest pressing against my tiny body.
I searched his eyes hoping he'd say something but he kept his mouth shut. My heart began pounding and I realized that his was too-beating harder and stronger as he was standing still than it had when he'd been running with my extra weight in his arms just a few moments ago.
What was this feeling that was stirring inside me? Why was I feeling anything at all for him? Was it the excitement of his danger? He was no longer my sweet, little best friend Jacob. Now, he was passionate, moody, yet every bit as loving. It was that extra little element of sexuality that made him strangely attractive to me. Maybe it was the heightened stakes of everything going on that put my heart in such a precarious state…a state that would even allow me to feel anything for Jacob beyond platonic friendship. My body was responding to his and it made me uneasy.
He pulled me in closer to his chest and his head slowly lowered towards mine as if he was going to kiss me. I felt like a magnet being pulled hopelessly in his direction. I tilted my head to the side and wet my lips ever so gently in expectation of his own. When they were finally on me, it was soft, his breath nearly as warm as his body against my face. His hand reached upwards and held onto my face just below my jaw, his fingers curling behind my neck. It was a soft, gentle, open kiss that ended far too quickly and left me desperately aching to know what it would be like to have more.
When he pulled away I felt scared to look him in the eyes. I had let him kiss me. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that, but something powerful had willed me to do it. Perhaps it was just morbid curiosity. Perhaps it was just the fascination of knowing what it would be like to kiss him when I actually felt slightly attracted to him. After all, when I eventually became part of the Cullen clan, Jacob would be so physically repelled by me that I'd never get the chance to know the warmth of his perfect lips against mine. This was nice. A little parting gift for us to have for when I did join, as Jacob put it, "the dark side".
"That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked, half joking/half serious.
"I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry," I said looking anywhere but into his eyes which I could feel burning a lustful hole into my face at this very moment.
"I was the one who kissed you. But I'm not sorry," he said, matter-of-factly.
"Well, I let you do it," I said, almost horrified with that revelation. I had. I had let Jacob Black kiss me. I had let my best friend kiss me, KNOWING that he had a thing for me. Knowing how fragile his heart was in light of the whole Edward thing. Knowing that I would never be able to be with him or love him the way I loved Edward and KNOWING that it could never happen again.
"Yeah. You did let me, didn't you," he chuckled, but before I could smack him, he started running again.
This was a mistake. A terrible mistake.
But…if it was a mistake, why did it feel so right?
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