So I was browsing the net for random stuff when I stumbled across this article called The Dying Process. It's about the symptoms of a dying person. Then suddenly, I had this idea for a one-shot. I don't know how but I managed to find this other article about when a couple should break up. Ultimately, I wrote this because I just really miss writing (so yeah, it's too long for a one-shot). I still can't believe Poison & Wine is now over, but I'm glad I get to share another story with you guys. I just hope you like it :)
NOTE: Stan is not Beca's brother here.
The Dying Process
An entire week passed by; fatigue sure was set to ruin yet another supposed TGIF. Chloe could barely remember the last time she had not worked overtime. Thus, pulling the handbrake as the garage door ultimately barred the rest of the universe was her favorite part of the dreadful routine. And there's an out-of-this-world sensation – beyond relief – that came with the sound of the car door shutting close. It meant the struggle was over. At least temporarily.
She stood by the entrance and wondered whether her girlfriend was still awake past midnight. There was almost no chance to come across each other's shadow these days. Living under the same roof was no less than playing hide and seek in a giant maze. While the office practically monopolized Chloe's time, Beca spent her days at the studio and her nights mostly DJing at the club. Only in dreamland that they could genuinely share a moment, yet even then reality was always prepared to steal it away with a stupid alarm clock.
Perhaps, this evening would be a pleasant change. It started off with the intro to the song Every Breath You Take, gradually filling the atmosphere, as soon as Chloe entered through the kitchen. First came confusion, followed by a theory that Beca could be working on a new track sans a pair of gigantic headphones. Did she have any idea how late it was? Hopefully, the neighbors were not keen to complain. But maybe the musician could spare some time and a little bit of devotion – they could drink hot tea and devour chocolate chip cookies whilst talking about the most random things, just like how they used to. Chloe smiled about her proposition; when was the last time they had some late night conversation?
However, instead of hearing Sting's voice, Gary Lightbody proceeded with the lyrics to Chasing Cars probably much to the surprise of the entire neighborhood. The mashup was far from the usual style, even the redhead noticed. It was significantly less Beca – it's mushy, for Pete's sake!
Questions had only outnumbered the hypotheses, as soon as the door was locked behind. There were rose petals scattered all over the wooden floor that it was impossible not to step upon their beauty. On top of that, the entire house emitted a yellowish glow courtesy of lit garden candles which formed a single path. Chloe concluded then that this particular night was different.
"Beca?"
She called out her girlfriend's name but received no response from the brunette. Looking at the path, there was only one way to find out how the evening would end. She followed through, let Beca invisibly led her to what could possibly be a magical event.
Accompanied by the music still playing on the background, Chloe carefully made her way to the lounge then to the patio where she paused for a minute. Overlooking, the candlelit path would lead her to the garden, passed by the pool, and right under an old maple tree. Underneath was Beca Mitchell, clad in her favorite flannel shirt, waiting on top of hundreds of rose petals forming the shape of a heart.
Chloe froze in place, trying to internalize what was happening before her very eyes. Had she been so tired that this hallucination seemed all too real? Could it be that she had actually gone to sleep and was already dreaming?
Her girlfriend simply smiled, both lips and gaze. Warmth emitted had conquered the chilling breeze. That calming and inviting effect, it was a reminder of a safety blanket. Her soul embraced perfect imperfection that was all Chloe sought for in this lifetime. No words of reassurance needed – she knew everything was going to be just fine, the two of them against any obstacle that fate could thrust.
Descending the stair came fleeting. The redhead excitedly threw herself over her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around the latter's neck. Beca held her back by the waist and soon greeted her finally with a kiss, a first in a number of weeks.
"What is going on?" Chloe inquired while staring dreamily into the twin pool of deep blues. "Did you set the kitchen on fire again, hmm?"
Beca groaned in protest. It happened only once, and it's not her fault that she could be clumsy sometimes. Her girlfriend giggled mockingly. Okay, maybe most of the time she was butterfingered.
"So how much trouble are you in right now?"
"Huge."
This would have scared the other if it weren't for the fact that they were still standing on top of the cluster of petals, adoring each other's existence. No threat could pop this bubble.
"Oh can't you see you belong to me?"
Did she seriously exerted this much effort just for a late night sing-along? It had to mean more than that.
"Beca Mitchell, you are such a dork, you know."
"A cute one, I suppose."
"Hmm… It's a close second to Benedict Cumberbatch." A frown from the mastermind produced another giggle from the ginger. "Fine, it sure is apples-and-oranges kind of thing."
But Beca's face remained serious. Nervous, to be exact.
"At this point, I'm supposed to tell you something sweet and romantic. I knew I should have prepared an idiot card or at least practiced in front of the mirror. But then, you know I'm not really good with words and stuff. Either way, I'm bound to ruin such perfect moment, so I thought I'd go straight to the point."
Chloe did not even have the time to respond when her girlfriend went down on one knee, pulled out a tiny velvet box from her pocket. She opened it and revealed the shiny ring inside waiting to change people's lives forever.
"Chloe Maeve Beale, will you marry me?"
All it would take was one word. What was supposedly the easiest question to answer in her entire life became a riddle that was impossible to solve. Every piece of her life was simply on their right places at this point. She had Beca, her cornerstone. And her office entrusted her with a multi-million project that would make or break her career. It had been a rough week at work, but if she could just hold on a little bit more, this could be the promotion she had been waiting for a long time. Beca wasn't going anywhere, right?
"I love you," was all Chloe could say in a faint whisper, as her eyes well up with tears, tugging Beca back to her feet.
Beca softly chuckled and reached to wipe the tears on her girlfriend's face. "Hey, don't cry. I'm just trying to ask you a question."
"I love you, Beca," Chloe said it again, and this time she made sure to emphasize it even more.
"So is that a yes?"
Chloe wanted to marry her. She wanted them to spend the rest of their lives together. But all these were reserved for the future. She had different plans for the present. Perhaps, without meaning to, breaking Beca's heart was a necessary evil.
"I just can't right now," she blurted out, slowly shaking her head. It felt really stupid to say those thoughts out loud, but the last thing she would do was to lie about her feelings. She had to be honest with Beca. She at least owed her that. "I'm sorry, babe. I love you, but-"
"It's okay." Beca definitely exerted a weak attempt at looking unbroken; the gloom on her face was half-covered by a forced smile. "It's okay, Chloe."
And it slowly killed Chloe inside, as she watched the tears roll down her girlfriend's face. She knew she was responsible for such wounds upon those deep blue orbs. She'd reach for her face and wipe them away, but quite frankly, that wouldn't erase the growing pain and the scars of a lifetime that had been inflicted upon Beca Mitchell's chest. Moving on, the brunette hurriedly brushed her own tears off and shoved the box of ring back into her pocket then bravely looked up to Chloe.
"I know you're tired from work. Go take some rest, babe. I'll take care of all these mess."
Before Chloe could give out a reply, Beca pecked her cheek and proceeded with extinguishing the path of lighted candles. The music too had completely died down along with the mood, and the surrounding collapsed into the background of emptiness. Suddenly, it scared Chloe to death. It was as if she was watching her entire relationship with Beca fall apart, dying along into the fateful night.
So how do you save a relationship when it starts to fall apart? How do you revive the romance when it inescapably goes through the dying process?
I. CHANGES IN APPETITE
Did you think about what I said last night?
Knowing you, you probably didn't.
I could picture your face on the other side.
Completely oblivious.
Do you really feel like this love is real?
I wish I could join you.
It had been two weeks since that failed proposal, a terrible memory they earnestly tried to block away in the back of their minds. Beca sat by the kitchen island, sleepily rubbing her eyes awake, while Chloe rushed to prepare breakfast.
"So how was your gig last night?" the chef asked in her usual cheerful tone.
Very Sleepy Head let out a long yawn before answering her girlfriend. "I am so freaking tired."
"You are so cute in the morning, do you know that?"
And that was all it took to cure the excruciating hangover. That and a plate of bacon and eggs with two pieces of pancake, plus a free shoulder massage. Oh boy, she had the best personal chef in the universe – and the sexiest! Beca pulled her favorite redhead to the side and planted a small kiss on her lips. It's gratitude for such hospitality. She sliced off a piece of pancake and fed it to her girlfriend.
"I guess we're going back to sharing a plate then."
Giggling, Chloe took away the fork. It was her turn to feed the other.
"It's romantic this way."
"Speaking of, for our anniversary, I asked for some time off. We could go to Disneyworld. You've been dying to go there, right?"
"Are you serious?"
Chloe's face lit up in excitement; Beca could joke around but she'd get a nasty slap for toying that little Disney soul.
"Just make sure to clear your schedule. I'll take care of–"
One mouth crashed another. Beca almost fell off her seat, caught unprepared by the impending storm. Her body quivered as 'I have 10 minutes to spare' tickled her earlobe, while fingers crawled down her chest. Indeed, Disney possessed some kind of magic. But the love spell was no match to the corporate witchcraft. One phone call, distinguished by customized ringtone, toppled the height of the moment.
"Shit." Chloe pulled away and buried her face deep into the strands of brown hair. "I'm sorry."
There was nothing else needed to be heard. It was a situation that had become familiar to both of them. "Of course, you need to go."
"Babe," sighed the redhead as she looked into those deep blues, apologetically. "I'm really sorry… but the company…"
Beca held her girlfriend by the face for reassurance, forced at least a bittersweet smile to ease that feeling of guilt. "I understand, Chloe. I understand."
"Thanks, babe. I love you so much."
They shared one last kiss before the door stood in between them. But the sadder part was that it was facilitated by lies. That's the thing; Beca tried to understand even if sometimes she really couldn't. Chloe had just recently been promoted, and she really loved this job. This was her dream. How dare anyone to even think of taking it all away from her! So what if Chloe's priority was her career? Beca's priority was Chloe, and as long as it meant to make her favorite redhead happy, she would willingly force herself to be happy as well. So at times like this, all she had to do was to kiss her goodbye then let her go.
(thesecretsociety)
Aubrey and Jesse had been dating for just more than a month. They were cruising around that stage where they just couldn't get their hands off of each other. It was never enough that they were cuddling in public; they still had to steal quick kisses every two minutes and exchange some words of endearment for one another. For bystanders, it was totally annoying. And unfortunately for Beca, she had to endure every bit of the circumstances for the entirety of brunch.
"Remind me again why we have to sit at the couch when there are plenty of other tables to choose from where you two can sit at a considerable distance from one another?"
Jesse sneered at her. "So we can cuddle, you idiot."
"Yep, we don't want considerable distance," Aubrey added before kissing her boyfriend once more.
Their friend rolled her eyes and shook her head disapprovingly. Alright, these lovebirds certainly didn't have to announce to everybody that, by obvious implication, they were going to have sex right when they get back to Aubrey's apartment.
"Get a room, will ya?"
But they simply ignored her protests.
"Cuddle all you want now while your love is still young and sweet. Two years into the future, you'd feel like shit anyway."
And the last statement caught Aubrey's full attention. She immediately released her boyfriend from embrace and abruptly turned towards the brunette, both of her hands smacked the table, and face painted with worry.
"Just what do you mean by that?"
The brunette shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, "I'm just saying."
But the blonde wouldn't let go of the matter yet.
"What?" Beca grunted. "Nobody stays all lovey-dovey, you know."
"Ah, here comes the grumpy old Beca again," Jesse joined in, extending his arm around his girlfriend. "You're just jealous, aren't you? If Chloe were here, God knows you two would already be on your way to the restroom to have sex by now."
Third-wheel snorted at the comment and leaned back to her seat seemingly uninterested about anything about the occasion.
"Where's Chloe?" Aubrey had grown suspicious.
"You're the best friend, Aubrey, you're supposed to know."
"And you're the girlfriend, Mitchell, why don't you tell me?"
Then Beca heaved out a heavy sigh. Her eyes fell upon the table, and her friends had picked up the general idea – the other half of the pair either forgot about or cancelled on this brunch date. There was only one reason behind though, that was, for whatever reason, she was stuck at the office. Again.
"It's Saturday!" Jesse exclaimed. "She can't be working. Her boss must know that poor woman's got a life too. Even Dolly Parton got 9 to 5."
"Special meeting," the brunette tried to explain. "She's presenting something important to the Board. Something's gone wrong, so she needs to appease them. She stayed up all night for it; we can't let it go to waste."
It was followed by a so-called understanding smile that she had been practicing ever since as she met her friends' gaze. Something about their sympathetic looks told her she was going to make a habit out of this pretentious beam.
(thesecretsociety)
Without a care, Chloe dropped her things on the desk and hurried to dig into her bag. She checked her phone – disturbingly no call from her girlfriend, but her best friend left fifteen messages and thirty-four missed calls. It was anything but a good sign. She quickly grabbed her keys and headed for the exit. She could still make it to dessert, although her stomach had been grumbling for some appetizer and a three-course meal. To her dismay, the company's Chief Executive Officer had inconveniently blocked her way out.
"Stan."
Maintaining politeness in her greeting was a challenge, especially that his presence was neither solicited nor expected.
"Oh good, you're ready. Let's go."
The employee frowned in confusion. "Go? I'm sorry, wh-where are we going?"
"I'm taking you out for lunch," he casually replied. "I know it's the weekend, and I promised it won't take longer than a couple of hours, yet now it's taken half of your day. Plus, you did a great job in spite of the directors' attempts to go difficult on you. This is the least I could do, as a thank you, my treat."
"Oh." Chloe scratched the side of her head. That was so sweet of her boss, but there were people also counting for her attendance. "Don't worry about it, Stan. It's part of my work."
"No, come on, I insist."
"But-"
"Besides, I need your opinion on this new project proposal. I thought you'd be the perfect person to lead the team. Shall we talk about it over lunch?"
"I'm kind of-"
"I thought you want this job, Beale."
Stan looked at her authoritatively, making sure he emphasized his superiority over his subordinate. In short, she had no right to refuse.
Chloe managed to put on a small smile, defeated. As Stan went ahead, finally Beca's name flashed on her phone screen, indicating the incoming call. She was able to slide to answer but then, as if the stars had conspired against her luck, the phone battery emptied. Shit. She's putting the blame on Aubrey for this one. Beca would understand, hopefully.
II. CHANGES IN MENTAL STATUS
I'm bored of your love
I'm bored of your face
I'm bored of your random all over the place attitude
I'm bored of you
Chloe hurried out of her boss' car and quietly made her way to the front door of the house. She pulled out her keys and let herself in. She noticed the flashes of light coming from the living room. It was past midnight; Beca sloppily sat on the couch, blankly staring at the television screen. It's on Cartoon Network, her favorite, yet on mute. She wasn't paying any attention at all.
"Hey," greeted the redhead. "How come you're still awake?"
"I'm waiting for my girlfriend," Beca quietly answered without turning away from the screen, a clear hint that she was not in a good mood. "Where have you been?"
Chloe sighed. This was the last thing she needed, not another interrogation when she had done nothing wrong to deserve this ridiculous malicious suspicion. "I was at the office, Beca. I'm always at the office."
"So did you just forget to give me a call or did you forget about me altogether?"
"I was at a meeting. I would call you on my way home, but my phone battery emptied. That's what happens when you keep calling unnecessarily every two minutes."
"Is it my fault that I worry about you?"
"But there's nothing to worry about."
The brunette huffed in derision.
"Come on, babe, let's go to bed. I'm sorry about coming home late. Can I make it up to you by cuddling to sleep?"
But the other had another plan. She switched from one tv channel to another, in full volume.
"Beca," the redhead groaned.
Beca finally left her seat to face her. "You know, I'm just really curious about all those projects that you've been busy with at work because if you haven't noticed, babe, you've been spending all your precious time in there. Not to mention your boss driving you home every night."
"What?" Her girlfriend gasped in annoyance and shook her head at the accusatory remark. "My car broke down, you know that. I haven't had the time to have it repaired. Stan's just being nice."
"Stan?" the brunette chuckled as if her suppositions were proven. "Oh it's funny, I thought I've been hearing it wrong all this time. So you really are on a first name basis with your boss."
"Beca, stop it."
"Stop what?"
"There's no reason for you to get jealous."
"I'm just stating some observations. I'm sorry if that makes you feel guilty."
"Oh come on, I'm really tired right now. This argument is pointless anyway because there's nothing to be jealous about. If you don't want to cuddle, fine. But can we just please go to sleep?"
"Now you don't even have the fucking time to argue with me."
"We don't even need to argue in the first place!"
"Well, I'm sorry if I feel the need to raise our problems!"
"The only problem I see here is you being unreasonably jealous!"
"No, the problem here is you!"
"Whoa, now I'm the problem?"
"What happened to eating dinner together?"
"I had to work, Beca!"
"Then go, leave! Now! Maybe you can just forget about me and have a more intimate relationship with your work!"
And then Chloe stopped, startled. How did they end up like this?
"That way you don't need to come home anymore," Beca carried on. She sounded calmer now but her eyes were filled with more amount of anger. "That way you can work for your stupid company for all you want without me 'unnecessarily' dragging you down. You don't have to get involved in this 'pointless' argument, just fucking go to sleep. You don't have to fucking pretend like you still care about me at all–"
"Stop!" Chloe screamed out, and this time, Beca was the one to freeze. The redhead inhaled a deep breath, feeling the tears were about to slip off her eyes. "What are you saying?"
The other shrugged, not a single drop of care.
"I love you," Chloe told her as she began to cry. She looked at her girlfriend intently and proclaimed frustratingly, "Beca, I love you!"
Finally, the pool of deep blues softened, embracing a grasp of reality. It's as if a bucket of cold water was poured over her entire being. She swallowed hard and treaded towards the redhead and enveloped her in a hug. Fortunately, her girlfriend hugged her back just as tight.
"I don't know what's going on in that brain of yours," Chloe spoke in between sobs. "But I'm telling you I love you. I assure you that I do. That way you don't have to be mad. You don't have to be jealous. You don't have to feel like I don't care. You don't have to make me cry like this. You just have to believe me when I say I love you because I really really love you, Mitchell."
Beca cursed herself mentally. She felt so bad that she even initiated such a pointless argument. Yes, it was pointless. She should have welcomed warmly the dead beat tired ladybug, inquired whether she had eaten, prepared a tasty meal anyway or a nice cup of hot tea, then cuddled her to sleep. She should have done all those things instead.
"I'm sorry, babe. I believe you."
(thesecretsociety)
Chloe didn't even remember where or when this argument commenced. They had booked the flight to and fro Orlando; it's a step closer to that third year anniversary at Disneyworld, as promised. She recalled making out on the couch for a celebration. From there, she found herself yelling back at Beca from room-to-room.
"Nobody's saying you're being childish, Beca!"
"Well, that's what you all mean anyway, right? 'Beca is so immature and silly and childish.'"
"Okay, now you're being childish."
"See? See? That's what you really think about me."
"You know what? Aubrey's right. It's always a bad idea to argue with you."
"Sure, Aubrey's always right. I expect no less from the Great Aubrey Posen. But me, I'm always the bad guy."
"What? I didn't say you're the bad guy. I was just saying-"
The brunette held up a hand to shut the other. "You know what? Save it, Chloe. I don't want to hear about any of this shit anymore."
Then she prepared to leave.
"Of course, you leave in the middle of an argument. That's what you're always good at, Beca."
Chloe helplessly watched her girlfriend gather her things and walk out the door, guaranteeing to slam it as hard as she could, thus, leaving the redhead on her own for their scheduled Disney-themed movie night.
(thesecretsociety)
Aubrey sat uncomfortably on the couch as she followed with her gaze her best friend pace back and forth in front of her, ranting out in frustration. Her eyes were drooping; her back was almost slouched while the pieces of the story formed frippery for a fairytale tragedy.
"I'm sorry, I can't take this anymore, Chloe. What's supposed to be the problem here?"
"She's being her old self again," replied the other. "She's being childish and obnoxious and just a complete pain in the ass."
"And what exactly did you two argue about this time?"
Chloe quickly opened her mouth to answer but closed it immediately after just a few seconds. She paused to think about it. Frankly, she didn't know. She couldn't remember any trace of the fight. What the hell were they arguing about?
"Okay," Aubrey clicked her tongue at the realization of her friends' mishap. "You two have been arguing a lot lately, don't you think? And for what reason, nobody knows."
The redhead could only stare back at her best friend.
"Well, this doesn't surprise me at all." And the blonde earned a scowl. What? It's no secret she was no fan of Bechloe ever since. "Don't say I never warned you. I mean, come on, you two have nothing in common. For instance, you're serious about your work and stuff that are actually socially relevant. Meanwhile, she's a DJ. If your name is not Skrillex, then you are not making a career out of it."
"Bree, I love you, but sometimes you are a stuck-up bitch. Music is her passion, and she's excellent in what she does. Beca will make it. I believe in her."
Aubrey rolled her eyes in dismissal. "Look, you're like this beacon of light, Chlo, while Beca is... you know, she's like the Queen of the Dark. It will always be a mystery to me as to why and how you even started to like each other."
"Opposites attract, maybe."
"Bullshit! 'Opposites attract' my ass. Look at what it's gotten you. Love? You've been pestering the hell out of each other."
Damn it, Posen. Once again she was right. The entire relationship with Beca was completely falling apart. Sometimes it felt like not even love could mend whatever was broken.
"So what should I do?" questioned Chloe, flopping on the couch next to her best friend.
Aubrey turned to her, her face covered with apologetic appearance. "The boat is sinking, Chloe. Are you going to sink down with it or save yourself now that you're still in one piece?"
"I don't know," mumbled the other. She thought about it for a while, just staring at nothing in particular. Had she known the solution to this equation, they could have saved themselves hours of petty bickerings. But she didn't. Only one thing was certain in her mind and in her heart. "I just know I love Beca. You don't get it, you never will, but I love her so much, Bree. And I don't want to lose her."
Her best friend might not be their most dedicated supporter but she knew for whatever reason, those lovebirds lived for each other. "Excellent choice, my friend."
And that was enough to make the redhead smile. But the moment they hugged, when Chloe could no longer see the honesty on her face, the blonde just couldn't stop the frown. Chloe chose to save the boat, but Aubrey knew better. When the boat started sinking, there was just no way that you could save it anymore.
III. CHANGES IN CIRCULATION
So, I thought about what you said last night
Normally I probably wouldn't
But something you said kept me up all night
I tried to sleep but I just couldn't
I hope you still feel like this love is for real
'Cause I know that I do
Jesse came back to the bar from the restroom to see Beca's phone soaked in a glass of scotch. He fixed an eye upon the woman sitting next to him, her thoughts clearly just as immersed in another dimension.
"Okay, why is your scotch decorated with your phone?" he pointed out. "I'm pretty sure you're not that drunk yet."
"Chloe just wouldn't stop calling and texting. It's so freaking annoying."
He scoffed."When she doesn't respond right away, you're infuriated. When she ignores you, you become paranoid. Now that she's all over you, you find it annoying. What does a woman have to do to make it right, huh?"
"All I ask is one whole day with her."
"Are you two in another fight again?"
"No."
"So what the hell is this?"
She simply gave him a look. She motioned the bartender for a bottle of cold beer and chugged it down her throat.
"Hey, Mitchell, you know you can tell me."
Still, no response.
"If you keep acting like shit, I'm going to call Aubrey and ask her to come over," Jesse finally posed a threat. "Then you'll be the one to deal with her."
She glared at him for being too smart for his own good. "It's nothing, Swanson."
"This doesn't look like nothing to me."
"I'm just annoyed."
He flashed this I'm-confused-so-keep-going look.
"I don't know," Beca shrugged, unsure herself. "Sometimes I don't even know her anymore. How could you sleep with a person on the very same bed under the same roof without ever feeling her presence?"
Shocked by the revelation himself, Jesse snitched the beer away from her and finished the bottle. He had underestimated the situation. Aubrey was right; they were in for a deep shit.
"Tell me the truth," he demanded. "Are you still happy about your relationship, Mitchell?"
She let out a small chuckle. "What kind of a question is that?"
"Come on, dude, answer it."
"I love Chloe, okay?"
"That's not the question."
"What do you want me to say?"
"Tell me if you're still happy because if not, you're screwed, dude."
Beca stole a quick glance at him before ordering for another bottle of beer. She opted not to respond; anything from her mouth could and would be used against her. She would rather drink the whole bottle and let it speak for itself; maybe Jesse could read between the lines.
Out of the blue, a tall brunette slid her hour-glass body in between the duo, making sure to brush a part of her against Beca's. The resident DJcouldn't help but look up to witness the girl's pretty face. She swore she caught her throwing a wink and flirty smiles on her way.
"I'm Stacie," the VIP guest introduced herself. "Stacie Conrad. I heard you're the hottest DJ in town. I can't wait to see you do your thing up there."
Beca simply responded with a shy smile, earning her a warning look from Jesse. It's not everyday that someone appreciated her work, her girlfriend including.
Stacie leaned closer and whispered on Beca's ear, making the small woman shiver, "If you let me, I can do my thing down there."
She shifted her gaze to Beca's pants before strategically positioning herself in dangerously close proximity from the DJ, not forgetting to glue a naughty smirk on her lips.
"Alright, game over." Jesse restrained himself from jerking the stranger away from his misbehaving friend. He settled with slipping his body in between and a generous amount of glare. "The hottest DJ in town already has a girlfriend, so you can get your slutty ass out of here now, bitch."
The tension between the two was evident, but Beca had decided to call the bartender's attention. "Give Ms. Conrad anything she wants. Put it on my tab."
Jesse gasped at Beca's move. He shook his head in disapproval, but the DJ chose to ignore him and went on to chat with her new friend.
(thesecretsociety)
Chloe quietly watched a drunk Beca sleeping peacefully next to her on the bed. She found it fascinating the way her chest went up and down as she naturally executed a stable breathing. She couldn't seem to remember the last time she had the chance to watch her sleep like this. Never mind that her girlfriend came home drunk. She smiled to herself and playfully traced Beca's nose line over and over.
"Babe?" she whispered, but the brunette simply responded with slurred grunts. Chloe attempted to keep the giggles low. She rested her hand on her girlfriend's face then softly planted a kiss on her lips. "I love you."
(thesecretsociety)
"Hey, Chloe."
Stan greeted his employee at this spontaneous encounter outside the cage they called the office.
"Stan," she happily acknowledged him. What were the odds of running into one's boss in the movies? "What a pleasant surprise."
"Just here to fulfil a promise: movie night with my mom," he explained. Noticing he was on his own without evidence, he added, "She went to the restroom. Our movie's about to start in a few, so I gotta go grab that popcorn too. Care to join me?"
"I guess," she nodded her head in agreement. They were on their way there anyway.
Suddenly, Beca, who felt totally abandoned in the midst of the conversation, cleared her throat. The redhead reassured her with a quick smile and their hands intertwined.
"This is Beca, by the way, my girlfriend." She glanced at Beca as she went on, "And this is my boss, Stan. Stan, Beca. Beca, Stan."
Like a mutual disconnection, the other two simply stared blankly at each other. Nobody exerted the effort of offering a handshake. Chloe turned from one person to another, but nope, they were not going to be friendly to each other.
"So, Stan, what are you guys going to watch?" Chloe attempted to improve the mood after such an awkward pause. "Something exciting, huh?"
"Guardians of the Galaxy," he answered, grinning again but specifically at the redhead.
"Really? Us too."
"Cool. Which ones are your seats?"
"Dude, are you stalking my girlfriend?" Beca deliberately questioned, earning a death glare from Chloe. "What?"
The redhead immediately apologized to the guy who also happened to be her boss(just in case her girlfriend had forgotten), then excused them both, forcefully dragging Beca along with her.
"What was that all about?"
"He's stalking you and you're enjoying it," the brunette accused.
"What?"
"Oh come on, Chloe, the guy is obviously into you."
"No!" she denied. "This is just some sort of a coincidence, Beca. Seriously, we're not having this argument again."
But the brunette simply rolled her eyes and turned around towards the exit.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going somewhere I can have fun. This is stupid already."
"Beca!" Chloe tried to stop her, but clearly there's no more changing of mind.
IV. CHANGES IN BREATHING
I'm in love with your love
In love with your face
In love with almost everything that you say
Yes it's true
I'm in love with you
Chloe patiently waited for Beca to respond to what she just told her on the phone. Then, she finally smiled when she heard her girlfriend say, "I love you too. Good night, babe."
It was already past one o'clock in the morning when the redhead hung up the phone. The time difference between Bali, Indonesia and Georgia, USA was killing her. Even after such a long day touring everywhere with Aubrey, she couldn't bring herself to sleep. She needed to call Beca, to hear her voice.
She exhaled a long breath as she held her phone to her chest. The purpose of flying to the opposite side of the globe – a much needed break from all the arguments that had become too frequent and too unbearable to handle – seemed to remain futile. The ghost of their troubles kept finding them everywhere. Even though Aubrey vowed that when they return home, everything would be fine, how come nothing seemed to be changing? Every day apart still felt like a silent battle where neither party was winning the war.
Restless, she hurried back to their bungalow room and woke up the very tired blonde. "Aubrey, please wake up."
"What?" her best friend groaned, irritated.
Tears had started to roll down from Chloe's own eyes causing her to panic even more. She knew she was far from being okay. "Bree, I'm crying now!"
Alarmed, the blonde finally sat up and consoled the other. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"I don't like this," confessed the broken soul. "I don't like what I'm feeling."
"And what are you feeling, Chlo?"
"I just talked to Beca, and for the first time in a long while, we didn't argue."
Her best friend was beyond confused. "That's good, right? You should be happy about that. See? I told you, things would get back to normal. What are you crying about?"
"That's the thing," the redhead paused, hesitant of what she was about to say. "I don't feel happy. I feel worse than ever."
Upset, Aubrey kept quiet. The plan was failing.
"I haven't seen her for days, Bree, and I'm supposed to miss her. But I don't. It's like there exists a feeling of contentment being away from her. And I'm not happy about that. It scares the hell out of me! It scares me that I don't want to go back home."
"Ssh," the blonde hugged her best friend who poured out more tears. Quite frankly, she was unsure what to say to comfort her. Should she lie and say that everything will be okay? "What do you want, Chloe?"
"The boat is sinking," said the other as Aubrey released her from the hug. "I want to save it so badly. But even my heart, it just wants to give up now. I'm so tired, Bree. I think Beca is too."
The blonde sighed then looked back to the most important person in her life. "Just promise me you'd choose what you think will make you happy."
Chloe nodded her head in agreement but the tears just wouldn't stop falling; she needed to throw herself to her best friend again for another comforting hug.
(thesecretsociety)
Beca pulled the shirt over Stacie's head. She stared at the hour-glass body for a moment, mesmerized at how incredible it looked. It was surreal. The taller brunette offered a flirtatious smirk before pulling her hostess closer until their lips were barely touching.
"I can't believe we're doing it in your house," she mumbled through seductive giggles. "I thought you have a girlfr–"
Before she could finish the sentence, Beca crashed her lips against hers. She didn't want to be reminded about her girlfriend, who decided to ditch their anniversary plans for work. She didn't want to be reminded about what she was about to do. So what if she was about to betray the love of her life, it was Chloe who first betrayed this relationship. Together, they would blow off whatever chance remaining to keep the pillars of their relationship standing.
She yanked off Stacie's pants; at least this stranger wanted to be with her. If Chloe was going to spend their anniversary with someone else, Beca had all the right to do the same, right?
"That ginger you have for a girlfriend has no idea what she's missing here."
Kissing those unfamiliar lips again and again failed too to ignite a spark. However, this was the closest it had been to feeling alive once again. Being with Chloe was a knife that kept on piercing every inch of flesh, killing every bit of her spirit. So maybe this was a pretty stupid idea, the worst idea in fact, but she was going to do this anyway. For herself, and for Chloe as well if they would have to carry on.
Beca caught herself unhooking Stacie's bra and she knew there was no longer room for regrets beyond this point.
(thesecretsociety)
Chloe satin discomfort on what felt like a couch of thorns. Her boss' hotel room was a cage she had willingly stepped into. Stan brought her here with the guarantee that they would be discussing another very important work-related matter. She blew off the flight to Orlando, but almost an hour in this chamber and still no inkling of an urgent meeting whatsoever.
"Um, Stan? What exactly are we going to discuss about?"
"Relax, Chloe." He took away her stuff from her lap and handed over a glass of champagne. "Have a drink."
"You don't understand. I'm on leave. I'm supposed to be celebrating an anniversary with my girlfriend. You said-"
The guy chuckled, "I know what I said."
"Okay," breathed the subordinate. Seriously, what was she doing there with him? She placed the glass, untouched, on the coffee table. "If you want, sir, I can brief you about the latest financial report. I got it memorized."
"Just send it to my e-mail."
"Would that be all, sir?"
Because she did not just leave Beca on their anniversary only to be told to send an e-mail.
"I thought I told you to drop the 'sir,' Chloe."
He wore off his expensive jacket, took a seat on the wooden coffee table so they were face-to-face just inches away from one another. Something about this picture was not right.
"You know what? You're very pretty."
"Stan, you're making me feel uncomfortable."
"A drink would help," he offered the champagne again, which she strongly refused. "God, you're beautiful, Chloe. You could use a good man to make you happy."
"I have a girlfriend, and I'm very happy with her."
"You're missing a lot here. But don't worry, let me take care of it."
He loosened his tie, tossed it to the side, then held her hand, unsolicited. Chloe swiftly stood up and backed away from the imminent threat.
"T-This," she stuttered and scrambled. "This is not what I came here for, Stan."
"I won't bite. Or would it turn you on?"
"I-I have to go."
She collected her things and headed for the door, but he rushed to catch her in a tight grip, attacking Chloe with kisses in hunger and in thirst. He'd been dying to have a taste of her skin since the day he met her.
"STOP IT!"
She tried to push him away with all her might, but he was just too strong.
"NO, STAN! PLEASE STOP!"
"Oh come on, Chloe, you don't have to be gay. I promise to turn you straight."
"STOP IT!"
"Just hold still."
He pinned her down the sofa, forced his lips on hers and her hair and her neck. She desperately bit him, only to be hit across the face and her hands locked down on the sides, for her resistance. Choking in her tears, she continued to loosen his grip in vain. This was going to be the end of her.
Stan, however, made the mistake of using his hands to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants. Chloe used this opportunity to knee him on the nuts then kicked him off of her completely. She franticly proceeded to the only exit route while her predator was still indisposed.
"One step out of that door, Beale, and I'll fire you!"
Eyeing the guy still squirming in pain on the floor, she bravely looked back at him.
"You don't have to because I quit."
Chloe hurried out of the door and ran as fast as she could, not caring about the odd stares she was receiving down the hallway. Had they known what she had just gone through, it would have been a different story. She made mistakes, mistakes that scarred her life. She was chasing the wrong dream when all she ever dreamt of had been waiting for her at home. But the past didn't matter anymore. She would leave the regrets behind and start anew with Beca.
This time Beca was on top of the priority list. No more buts. She already texted Aubrey to book the next flight to Orlando. They would push through with Disneyworld, maybe join a rave party in Miami then go fishing in Fort Lauderdale. This was going to be their best anniversary ever. And all subsequent days with Beca would be wonderful. The boat would have never gone to the sinking stage in the first place.
Chloe gleefully smiled to herself. She hailed a taxi; she couldn't wait to go home to the love of her life.
(thesecretsociety)
"If you need another good fuck, you know where to find me."
Stacie looked over at her new-found friend who responded with nothing but a huff. Fine, it was strictly business; no strings attached. Just when she reached for the knob, however, the door swung open and she met a red-haired woman who initially was all smiles until the presence of a stranger in her bedroom produced utter confusion.
"Who are you?"
Startled, Beca turned to the door upon hearing the voice she could recognize even in her sleep.
"Chloe?"
Chloe glanced over her girlfriend then to the intruder then back to an equally shocked brunette. It didn't take a genius to put the pieces together. She instantly fought the tears from clouding her eyes and firmly shook her head as if it could make the nightmare go away.
Beca moved towards the redhead. "Chloe, I can explain."
"You have nothing to explain, Beca!"
Beca grabbed her girlfriend's arm only to be pushed aside.
"Chloe, babe, come on, we can talk about this."
Instead, the unwelcomed guest received outraged glares. "Really, bitch? You're just going to stay there and watch us argue about you?"
"Bitch." Stacie rolled her eyes. "Now I see why–"
Slap! Gasping for air, Stacie pressed two hands over the burning skin. Even before she could get used to the pain, another slap stroke her on the other side. Those were going to leave some mark. And if she didn't leave fast, who knew what else this crazy bitch was capable of?
As the third wheel hastened out of the room for refuge, all anger and frustration found their way towards the remaining brunette. With arms crossed over her chest, Chloe quietly stared back at her. For someone who was as bright as sunshine, this was the worst thing that Chloe Beale could have ever done, not to mention the tears silently crawling down her cheeks, sneakily stabbing great deep wounds on the other. Beca could simply die seeing the love of her life suffer like this, and it was all because of her.
"Chloe," she pleaded only to be ignored by the redhead.
She tried to reach for her once again, failing when Chloe drew greater distance as if Beca's touch would poison her to death. It was a mess. Whatever pit their relationship was before, she only made everything worse. She cheated on Chloe. She betrayed her girlfriend. She screwed up big time, and there might be no way to fix the collapsing bridges.
"Chloe," she made another attempt. "I'm sorry."
Still, the redhead would not speak up, and the crying wouldn't stop. Every second in this hell was a spear to the chest, punishing every muscle, every joint in the body. It's incredible how quiet the room was where all that could be heard were their quiet sobs and uneven breathing.
"I love you." Beca looked straight into those bright blue eyes.
Chloe delivered a hard slap then shook her head mournfully as more tears flowed out. "Don't say that. Please. It hurts even more that the only explanation you could offer me is that."
The brunette remained silent. Wrong move again.
"You know what else hurts me? It's the fact that I'm not enough for you, Beca. Tell me, do I need to dye my hair? Do I need to curl my strands just like that? Should I start acting so slutty? Do I need to change my face? Tell me! Tell me what you want me to be because I just want to be enough for you!"
"I miss you!" Beca exclaimed, matching the volume of Chloe's screams, and all the vexation and sadness and longing and grief came bursting along. "I miss you so so much, Chlo. And it hurts me a lot that I'm just a second placer after your work. I'm tired trying to understand your terms and conditions, and I'm tired waiting for you. I've been dying inside that I needed you so much, but you're not here with me."
The redhead scoffed, harshly wiping her tears off, but the act was quickly deemed useless as the tears just wouldn't stop.
"I know I screwed up when I turned down your proposal, but I told you I wasn't ready back then. I know I screwed up when I put my job first, but just so you know, I already quit."
That last statement attracted Beca's eyes, surprised by the sudden news. Chloe did the impossible, for Beca.
"I realized I wasn't happy anymore that you're so close to me yet so distant. Well, guess what, Beca? I screwed up too, many times, but that doesn't give you any right to cheat on me!"
"I'm sorry," Beca muttered her regrets.
Chloe let her back lean against the wall, closing her eyes, trying to drown the pain trapped inside her chest. Again, the room was filled with nothing but silence. Even for Beca, it was torture just like that. God knew how much time passed when finally Chloe had the courage to put an end to it.
"I guess I'm tired too, Beca. I'm tired trying to save what's left of us. But maybe there's nothing left to save now."
Beca kneeled before Chloe, begging, "Don't say it. Don't even think about it."
But decision had already been arrived at on the other half.
"Here," Beca reached for Chloe's hands and directed them to attack her. "Slap me again. Hit me! Hurt me all you want! I definitely deserve all of it. Just please don't leave me, Chloe. I need you."
The redhead moved away.
"Chloe," the other appealed. "Please."
But she had seen the look in those eyes – what were once so radiant was hidden in gloom
"It's over, Beca. I'm sorry too."
And then the world came closing in. It's as if, for a moment, the spinning ceased and everything else froze through a black landscape. And in what felt like a slow motion, Beca sunk in place with face buried unto her palms. In a few, Chloe would leave the room; for certain, she would be walking out of Beca's life. Maybe forever.
I wish you put effort in trying to make this new
(I would if you asked me, I'd do anything for you)
I wish we were strangers
(It's not like we're strangers)
In all the excitement we'd fall in love
(Guess that's it then)
Can I take you out just this one last time,
We could pretend I never met you
People had conceded how awkward it was when one randomly looks at someone and that someone was already looking back at the one. That's exactly what happened when Chloe Beale, for no particular reason, turned to a random scenery only to discover that Beca Mitchell was already staring back at her.
"Hey," Aubrey nudged the girl seated next to her at the principal table. "You okay?"
"What?"
At first was an automated heedless response just for the sake of it. Coming to her senses seconds later, Chloe scrambled for a possible excuse. But the bride had already traced the suspicious tracks – her new husband was chatting with the one and only Beca Mitchell. Her face immediately frowned at the presence of the last person she'd wanted to see on her wedding day.
"I swear I have nothing to do with this. I didn't invite her, Chlo. This is all Jesse's idea. I didn't even know he invited her."
But her best friend offered a genuine smile. "It's fine, Bree. She's harmless."
The blonde, however, was not convinced. Once trust was betrayed, that traitor would never be harmless; once a cheater, always a cheater (Jesse better not dare).While Chloe might have moved on from the past, Aubrey, being the best friend, would never forgive and forget.
On the other side of the grand hall, the groom tried to talk his special guest into at least getting out of her seat and join the dancing crowd. The brunette, however, simply sat on her chair, half-listening to the guy and half-staring at a particular redhead. Frankly, she didn't need anything else to enjoy this party.
"Are you even listening to me?"
But he already knew the answer. His lips had curved into a smirk when he realized his vision was fulfilled. "Ah, still in love with the ginger, huh?"
"What?" Beca innocently glanced upon him, successfully hiding the fact that she had been attentively following her ex all night long with her gaze. She was just a little bit short of being a stalker.
"You know what? You've been gone for far too long, you deserve a treat from me, even though you didn't come with any gift."
"Are you suggesting we piss off Aubrey?"
"Hey, it's my wedding too, you know. I can do whatever the hell I want."
Jesse fixed his clothes as he eyed his new wife and her best friend.
"Look, look! Chloe's heading for the buffet table; follow her. I'll go ask Aubrey to dance with me so you two can be free from any distraction."
Beca chuckled. "First few hours of marriage and you're already calling your wife a 'distraction.'"
"Shut it." The guy glared at her. "Are you going to get your ass off of that chair or not?"
"Okay," she sighed in surrender and slowly stood on her feet as Jesse rushed to Aubrey in excitement.
Beca waited for her cue – the newlyweds made their way to the dance floor – before executing her participation. There were Chloe and her, and no one else – the perfect opportunity – yet she couldn't seem to locate her tongue and pronounce a syllable. Cursing herself, she realized that she was not actually prepared for this moment. In fact, she didn't know what to say. With two years, five months, and seventeen days, gone without any trace of each other's existence, what exactly was she supposed to say to the girl whose heart she broke?
It kicked off at a very quiet murmur of 'hi' that was quickly drowned by the loud music of WALK THE MOON's Shut Up and Dance blasting through the speakers. The thin air barely even noticed her presence.
Suddenly, Beca had this crazy idea. She stood next to Chloe and began assembling a fruit platter. Instinct compelled the redhead to take a quick glance at her new company. It happened to be her ex in an awkward encounter. As civil as possible, smiles and nods manifested a form of acknowledgement.
"H-Hi," the brunette croaked, then hurriedly cleared her throat to recover. "I mean, hi."
"Hi."
"I'm Beca," she said first thing, turning to her side as she shyly extended a hand. "Beca Mitchell."
Chloe stared at her, puzzled by such non-sense what-for self-introduction. She eyed the extended hand; should she shake it? Seeing the evident confusion, Beca shoved the hand into her pocket as she nervously scratched her head with the other.
"Do you happen to believe in the modern concept of soul mates?"
But the redhead simply shot her a questioning look.
"I mean, I don't know about you, but I think we've met before." She added in an innocent shrug to complete the act. "Probably, we had some sort of a… you know, an unbreakable bond in our previous lives. That makes us soul mates, right?"
The other finally spoke, "What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to introduce myself," replied the wedding crasher.
"No, what the hell are you doing, Beca?"
Beca sighed, frowned upon her shoes. "I know we both died from that previous relationship. I killed you; you killed me."
The change in the atmosphere permitted the tragic past to come haunt them back again, just when every wound appeared to be healing in time, in isolation.
"I'm kind of hoping we could revert to being strangers. I'd prefer going back to zero than start where we left off because, frankly, I don't know how to pick it up from the last time I saw you, Chloe."
Chloe shrugged. "Well, it still hurts when I look at you. Memories cut like a knife."
"I'm not asking you to forgive and forget. That would be unfair. I just hope you would give me another chance, not the screwed up me, but the stranger me. I guess this is too much what I'm asking for, but… I'm still in love with you, Chloe."
Emotions awakened; tears threatened their way out.
"There was not a single day that I didn't think of you. In every breath I know for sure you're the last person I would ever love in this lifetime and whatever comes next. So maybe if you still have a little, even the tiniest bit, of loving feeling, I'd like you to meet this stranger in me."
The redhead could only stare back at her ex, intensively deliberating the unique proposal. Beca patiently waited for some miracle. However, Chloe resumed preparing her own fruit platter as if no conversation had taken place between them. That was Beca's very last card. Crushed, she slowly turned to the other way, prepared to leave and never return to this forsaken path.
"My name's Chloe," she heard the supposed stranger spoke, prompting her to stop at her track. "Best friend of the bride."
Speechless, the brunette turned around with an involuntary smile growing on her lips. But the other had urged her to play along, her face displaying this look of 'I'm doing my part, now do yours'.
"I-I, uh..." Beca stuttered as she tried to keep the ball going. "Well, that explains the Maid of Honor duties."
"Are you friends with the groom? I'm pretty sure you're not from Aubrey's side."
The special guest grimaced, in amusement. "Yeah, the bride hates me. She'll probably strangle me to death if she finds out I'm trying to hit it off with her best friend."
"Sounds like Aubrey," chuckled from the other end. "But it's a wedding. Somebody has to hit it off with someone, right?"
"Right! So, Chloe…"
"Beale. Chloe Beale."
"Ah, Chloe Beale, you wanna dance?"
"The bride will kill you, Beca Mitchell."
"Tsk, she hates me anyway," Beca shrugged. "Messing up a portion of her wedding would be a very good consolation on my part, don't you think?"
Chloe laughed at the idea.
"So do you want to help?"
The maid of honor gave one long look at those dark blue eyes before grabbing the brunette by the hand, pulling her to the dance floor, and eventually joining the rest of the dancers as Perfect Strangers started to play. Of course, Aubrey was throwing invisible daggers towards the girl who was responsible for all of her best friend's misery in the last five years. Her husband exerted a great effort in distracting her in every way possible (maybe that's why they're so perfect for each other; they were both distractions).
But this was the same person who made Chloe Beale the happiest. And this evening was their renaissance. That last boat sunk deep into the sea like Titanic into the ocean floor. It's a wrecked ship forever. Nothing could have ever salvaged it, dead since a long time ago. They all went through the dying process, but there's always life after death. For a phoenix burns into ashes, it arises into an emblem of immortality. In this case, a never-ending love.
Songs: (main) Bored of your love - Meg & Dia feat. Tom Higgenson (2) Every Car You Chase - Party Ben (3) Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON (4) Perfect Strangers – Jonas Blue ft. JP Cooper
So there, I hope you enjoyed it :) Somehow, this one-shot gives you a clue of what my next series (Stolen) is about – somehow. 'Til the next story, people :)