You've (still) Got Owls
Rated: PG
Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. I don't make money from this…blah blah blah
These are private owls that no one was meant to read. Don't read on unless you are really, very nosey…
A letter to Miss Ginny Wesley From Miss Hermione Granger
Dear Ginny,
How've you been? How's Ron? Life here is quite still, as always. Not much compares to the wonder that is Hogwart's. I've gotten a new owl, as you can see, and I just thought I'd try her out. Send me a letter back and let me know how she does. She's a bit scatterbrained and I just hope she doesn't get lost.
Love Always,
Hermione
A letter to Miss Hermione Granger from Mister Draco Malfoy
Dear Mudblood,
I was having a quite enjoyable vacation until five seconds ago. I was relaxing in my 'loo, having a morning bath when I was disturbed by a hideous ball of feathers. It was to my great displeasure that I discovered it was an owl, and to even greater displeasure to discover that it was your owl. "Scatterbrained" (a nasty common term) is an understatement. However much I wanted to kill the thing and send it back to you a piece at a time, I was overcome by my upbringing; so I decided to inform you (out of the goodness of my heart) that your owl is dumber then you originally thought. If it thinks the Weasleys live here, it needs to be taken to be locked away at St. Mungos.
His Royal Highness Prince Draco Malfoy
A letter to mister Draco Malfoy from Miss Hermione Granger
Malfoy,
First of all, how dare you! Insulting me, my choice of words, and my owl! If you ever did anything to harm my owl, I'd have your head. A true gentleman would have not opened a letter that wasn't addressed to him, and sent it off to its true destination. You sir, are a horribly troubled spoiled brat, and that is direct proof that your upbringing was a terrible and violent one. The only thing you could be prince of is the prince of bad fashion sense.
Miss Hermione Granger
P.S., I feel horrible sorry for my owl. Seeing you is bad enough, but you improperly clothed is worse by far.
A letter to Miss Hermione Granger from Mister Draco Malfoy
Mudblood,
Is it my fault that you have a horrible vocabulary and bad luck with animals? As for insulting you, well, you make it so easy I just cannot resist. You'd have my head? Why, that's the funniest thing I've heard since Crabbe getting a girlfriend! Ha! Excuse me while I collect myself. The laughter is overcoming me.
Alright then, now about me having a so-called "terrible violent childhood". I'll have you know I was given just about anything a young boy could ask for. Tutors to help with my reading, help with Quidditch training and potions making. That's not even mentioning all of the wonderful gifts I get just for being me. As for being the "prince of bad fashion since", well that's just nonsense…
His Royal Highness Prince Draco Malfoy
P.S., Your owl's seen more then any woman has before. I know girls who would pay to see half as much.
A letter to Mister Draco Malfoy from Miss HermioneGranger
Malfoy,
Just because you think my vocabulary is horrible and I have a bad choice of animals, doesn't mean it's true. That's just your opinion. You do know what the difference is, right? Crabbe has a girlfriend? Crabbe? That ugly, stupid, smelly ape-like poor excuse for a human that follows you like a lost puppy. What poor innocent soul did you pawn him off on. Even you must admit anyone who'd choose him is off their rocker.
Just because you were given anything you want (which qualifies you as spoiled, I'll have you know) doesn't mean your childhood wasn't terrible or troubled. Is it possible that you, His Royal Highness Prince Draco Malfoy of the (In)Famous Malfoy Manor is naïve enough to believe that material possessions are the true root of happiness?
Unloving Yours,
Miss Hermione Granger
P.S. May I remind you that I am the one who has a rich, handsome quidditch star pining after me. Who do you have? Ah yes, you have Pansy. (insert snicker here)
A letter to Miss Hermione Granger from Mister Draco Malfoy
Granger,
I do know the difference between what I see to be true and how others perceive truth. Is it my fault that they are (almost) always the same?
Yes, it is so Granger. The sign of the apocalypse is upon us. Crabbe has found "that special someone" to whom makes his heart skip a beat. So, naturally, after I vomit up all my food, I'll be by to pick you up for a week of skiing, for I am most certain that hell has frozen over.
The (un)lucky girl is non other then Pansy herself. I was a bit taken back at first. But after all of my refusals of her ghastly offers to be her "significant other", she must have moved on to greener pastures. Pity really, Crabbe will no doubt burst into tears when he discovers she's been promised to some poor English bloke. Arranged marriages and all that.
Well, under your definition, I guess I am spoiled. Although it's not my definition at all. If you knew the half of what I have had to endure, you'd see that I've earned every penny. You squirm at the very name of my father. Imagine living with him for sixteen years of your life.
Holder Of The (In)Famous Love You'll Never Know
D M
Draco Malfoy
P.S. So? If I'm not pining for you, then it doesn't count. At least not in my book.
A letter to Mister Draco Malfoy from Miss Hermione Granger
Malfoy,
I saw you throw that goop at Lavender's head in potions, why did you go and blame in on Ron? That was very unkind and unhonest….
Oh I almost forgot who I was talking to. That's what you do best.
I have a question Malfoy, if Pansy really is with Crabbe now, why was she saying that she was going to send 'Her Malfee Poo the best Valentine ever', Malfee poo huh? I would love to see the two of you together again…ah the two most horrid human beings this side of the moon.
Well I do know a thing or two about enduring things you know. I've had to endure you for almost 6 years now, and I have not seen a pound. I'll be happy to calculate a bill for you and have it ready by, oh, say Friday? I'm a whiz with numbers. You're uber-rich, you can afford it.
Miss Hermione Granger
p.s. If you were after me, I'd change my look until I was unappealing in your eyes. Or gauge out your eyes. Yes, I think I'd go with the ladder…
A letter to Miss Hermione Granger from Mister Draco Malfoy
Granger,
I was just trying to get rid of that awful smell coming from her hair. What does she wash it with, a thousand different flowers? It was giving everyone a headache. I hoped the goo would mask the smell. How was I supposed to know it would make her hair fall out? That is one girl who tries too hard and just ends up smelling bad and looking weird. Have you noticed that girls either end up trying to hard or not enough? I've always found that fascinating that none of you can find a middle ground.
Don't even try to joke about Pansy sending me a valentine. Crabbe would have my head on a platter. And I'll thank you to never call me Malfee Poo again. Or else.
I owe you nothing Granger. You should be thanking me. I keep you on your toes.
D.M
Draco Malfoy
A Valentine to Mister Draco " Malfee Poo" Malfoy from a Miss Hermione "Mud Blood" Granger
I'll always have a place in my heart for Ferrets.
Mind you it's a dark sinister part.
With pain. Lots of pain.
Hate Always Malfee Poo
Mud Blood
A letter to Miss Hermione Granger from a much confused Mister Draco Malfoy
Hermione
So it seems we are on a first name basis. Madame Pomfrey says you stopped by while I was knocked out.
I'm sure you must have thought it amusing when Pansy flipped out on me for getting a Valentine. And from you no less. Before I even had a chance to tell her you were not being serious she decked me and ran out crying. All I remember after that was Crabbe picking me up and throwing me out the window for calling Pansy a few names. He over-reacted.
I'm told you saved my life. I'm also told you hugged me.
Thank you for saving my life. I am now in your debt.
Draco Malfoy
P.S.—I almost forgot, I remember you screaming my name. My first name
A letter to Mister Draco Malfoy from Miss Hermione Granger
Draco
Malfoy,
It startled me to see a fellow classmate being flung out of a three story window with sharp rocks at the bottom of a large lake and glass flying everywhere. The spell was simple enough to cast.
And well, yes I did hug you, because, I was glad you hadn't plummeted to your death.
And you said some pretty harsh things about Pansy. If I were Crabbe, I would have thrown you out the window as well.
Get better you Monkey
Hermione
A letter to Miss Hermione Granger from Mister Draco Malfoy
Granger,
I'm not sure why I'm letting you know this, but my mother is having me recuperate at home. I suggest we stop correspondence for a while
Draco Malfoy
A letter to Mister Draco Malfoy from Hermione Granger that was returned when he could not be found
Malfoy,
Your last letter was ripped and full of blood. As much as I dreamed of you suffering through all the years I've known you, I can not help but admit I am afraid that something horrible has happened. I guess you can say I've grown accustomed to your sarcasm and discriminatory point of view. Hmm.. I've grown accustomed to your face... How very My Fair Lady…
Humor me and let me know you are alive
Miss Hermione Granger
The Final Letter to Miss Hermione Granger from Mister Draco Malfoy
Granger,
My mother found our letters of correspondence. Needless to say she was not happy in the least bit. For the past several weeks I have been in the dungeons, away from any owls, paper, or ink. I've been saving berries that the house elves bring down to me to make a but of ink. One brought me some paper a week ago and now I've found some floo powder. I'll be able to send you this letter through the floo network. No doubt you'll go and research how it all works after you read this.
Why we have continued…no….why I ever picked up that quill and parchment in the beginning I cannot say. Though I assumed you would be so very unintelligent, so very unrefined; when I found your quick letter to a girl whom I assumed to be your closest companion, I found the very opposite. The more I talked, the more you responded, the more I realized I quite enjoyed your view of the world. And maybe, just maybe, you enjoyed mine.
But the sad reality is that I am Draco Malfoy and you are Hermione Granger. But If I was not me, and you were not you, things would not be the way they are. My father and mother would not lock me away for conversing with a girl who in their eyes is unworthy of life; and you would not hear my name and feel the utmost of loathing in your heart. But if I were Harry Potter or Ronald Weasley, I would not have my wonderful smirk or handsome smile or sarcastic view of the world, and that is something that I truly believe is worth the lifetime of father's thrashings.
I do not think you understand the gravity of my dilemma. In a short time, you have managed to erase a lifetime of brainwashing. I no longer believe that I am better then you because my mother and father are both wizards. I do not believe your mother would lock you away with the rats or your father is in prison. So maybe, just maybe, there is more to my world then I once thought. Mind you we are better, look at all our money and social rank. Oh what would you say, "Malfoy you have not changed a bit." (Smirk)
But your side, the white light of this war, will always see me as I once was, no matter how I say I've changed my ways. What have you left me fit to do? If I go back to my mother, I now see that I am being immoral and evil; yet if I go to your side, I will always be watched. Someone will always have a comment about the evil Draco Malfoy. Your friends will not accept me, and you would never leave those two nitwits for me. I would never ask you anyway. They need you more.
Unlike our dear potion's professor, I don't think I can live on the fine line of good and evil for the rest of my days, so I must choose where I want my pain to lie. Yet I don't think I can. I'm sure I'll be much more content with living the rest of my days with the rats, for I don't think mother will ever let me out when I tell her that I've fallen in love with the light of Hogwarts. Fight hard, my father and his followers will hurt you in ways you never thought possible if you don't.
Sincerely Yours,
His Royal Highness Draco Malfoy
The Prince of Bad Fashion Sense