'How many roads did I travel before I walked down one led me to you ...?'

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He moved above her, thrusting in and out slowly, as she panted and moaned with pleasure. Her body was flushed and wet with sweat, as she strained upwards, silently begging him to move faster. He knew, without her having to say it aloud, exactly what she needed, so he sped up his pace. She smiled and scratched his back, arching up into him, suddenly crying out as her body exploded in fireworks of pleasure.

"Oh Zack ... mmm ... so good ..."

"Love you so much Kara..."

Kara woke with a start, feeling somewhat disoriented. She felt a warm body next to her, and turned her head, expecting to see Zack. But Lee's face was the one on the pillow.

She slipped out of the rack and pulled on a pair of pants and a sweatshirt, and headed for the bathroom. This was the third time she'd dreamt of Zack in the last few weeks. and she was finding it very unsettling. She splashed cold water on her face and grabbed a towel, willing her heart to slow down.

Why? Why was she suddenly dreaming of Zack again? She hadn't in years. The dreams had stopped a few months after the funeral. Why now? Of course, when she and Lee started seeing each other, she'd thought of him frequently, of how unusual their situation was, and whether or not Zack would approve of the two of them being together. Lee didn't seem to have much of a problem with it, at least not after they'd talked it over in the beginning, and the old man had accepted it without a word, surprising to Kara - she'd thought he'd have forbidden it, but no, he'd been happy for them. Kara herself had allowed her doubts to fade as the months had past and she and Lee had become a happy couple.

"Something wrong?" Lee said from behind her, folding his arms around her.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" she asked, avoiding his question.

"Yeah, it's okay though." He placed a small kiss on the back of her neck.

"Just had to pee," she smiled, putting her arms over his and squeezing lovingly.

"Come back to bed. We don't have to be up for a few hours yet." He took her hand in his and led her back to the bunkroom. "Tired?" he asked, putting his arms around her and kissing her neck repeatedly.

"Not really," Kara answered honestly, knowing what Lee had in mind, but hoping against hope that he wouldn't ask. Normally she'd relish any opportunity to make love with him, but after dreaming about exactly that same thing with Zack, she was completely not in the mood.

"Well then, I can think of something we can do that will pass the time," Lee winked at her, "and we don't even have to leave this bed."

"Somehow I had the feeling that's what you were thinking," she said, but her smile was hollow, forced. Lee didn't seem to notice though as he quietly began to undress her and kiss a line from her throat down her chest and stomach.

They had to be quiet as they still shared a room with several other pilots, and discretion was paramount. It wasn't that everyone didn't know about them being together, quite the opposite in fact, but the appearance of propriety had to be kept up. It just wouldn't be polite to wake one's fellows with loud lovemaking. Lee had discussed the issue of quarters with his father several times, but though there was more room on the ship than people to fill it, many of the rooms had been destroyed in various battles, and repair crews had tackled the more important areas first, so Lee was told they had to wait until there was time to rebuild. They mad do by being as quiet as possible in the bunkroom, and finding the odd deserted storage room for a louder session on occasion.

"Mmm, I love you Kara," Lee mumbled sleepily, happily sated after their time of passion. He nestled his head in her neck and threw an arm over her possessively.

"Love you too," she whispered, playing with the hairs on his arm. He's much less hairy than Zack, she thought, then slapped herself mentally. She'd made a vow never to compare the two men in any way, and up till now she'd managed to follow through on it. The were two very different people physically and emotionally, though the underlying core of strength and stability was the same.

She closed her eyes and forced herself to think about CAP schedules and combat manouevres classes to keep her mind off the subject.

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"Now, when a cylon attack squadron comes at you, they generally come in this formation," Kara pointed at the white board where she'd earlier written out the day's lesson, "so you'll want to be in this defensive posture in order to best withstand the first wave." She looked at the board and began to draw. "Once they've made it past you, it's time to do gamma pattern." She pointed it out a few times, explaining exactly what to do so the nuggets could write it down. "This is your best chance of coming out alive and taking a few of them ..." She trailed off suddenly as she turned back to the class, seeing Zack's smiling face sitting directly in the centre of the room where he always sat. The colour drained from her face and she grabbed the podium to steady herself.

"Are ... you okay Starbuck?" one of the nuggets asked timidly. Kara blinked rapidly several times and rubbed her eyes. When she opened them again, Zack was gone and the class was as it had been before.

"I'm fine," she said weakly, colour coming back into her face. "Where was I?"

"Finishing off the gamma manouevre," one of the more attentive students said helpfully.

"Right, right." She smiled. "You all got it down?" Everyone nodded. "Good. Class dismissed then. I'll see you all tomorrow for your practical. Make sure you study it well tonight."

Kara tried to act nonchalant, but the truth was, she was very shaken. She'd never had a flashback like that before - not even right after his death. She'd had nightmares then, plenty of them, but they were mainly of his Viper crashing and bursting into flames, though she'd never even witnessed the accident that had killed him.

She took a deep breath and collected her things, ready to head to the flight deck. Her ' on-call- shift for the alert fighters was due to start in half an hour, and the pilots routinely spent their shifts in the squadron ready room, usually playing cards or finishing their paperwork. New pilots often assumed that only the CAG, and perhaps the deputy CAG had paperwork, but every pilot was required to fill out weekly timesheets detailing their flights. When Kara arrived, four of the other seven pilots were already there, deep in a game of triad.

"Losing your shirt again Stingray?" she said with a chuckle, slinging her stuff down on the next table. "Just don't bet your flightsuit, or you'll end up flying naked." The table burst into laughter as Stingray blushed.

"You want in Starbuck?" Firebolt asked, collecting his winnings.

"Sure thing."

"Aw, now poor Stingray's going to lose everything," Rose taunted. "No one beats Starbuck."

"Damn straight," Kara nodded proudly, pulling up a chair and sitting down heavily.

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Several hours later and a large pile of winnings richer, Kara begged out of the game to finish her class test plan for the following day.

"No fair, you have to stay and let us win some back," Stingray objected.

"You want to lose everything ?" Kara taunted.

"Frak you Starbuck!" he said smiling, giving her the finger. She, in turn stuck out her tongue at him.

"Okay okay, enough children. I need to borrow Starbuck for a while." In all the laughing, no one had noticed Lee come into the room.

"Oh sure, pull rank on us will ya?" Stingray rolled his eyes.

"I love it when he does that," Starbuck said, purposefully batting her lashes and pulling a sultry voice.

"Let's not even go there," Stingray said, holding up a hand in protest. "Just take her already."

Kara walked up to stand beside Lee. "So what's up? I'm still on duty you know."

"I know. I just needed to go over the new CAP schedule with you." Lee led her to a table at the other end of the room. where it was marginally quieter. "My father had a suggestion about a different rotation and I wanted to get your opinion before trying it out."

They sat, heads bent together, deep in conversation for a long time. It wasn't till an announcement came over the speakers for Lee to report to CIC that Kara noticed how much time had passed.

"I'll see you later okay?" Lee said, laying a hand on hers briefly before grabbing his clipboard and heading out the door. Kara just smiled in return. She'd have preferred to pull him close and kiss him like there was no tomorrow instead, but PDA's were strictly forbidden while on duty. The Commander had relented so far as to allow relationships between crew members working together - how could he not really, when there were no other options for some people? - but public displays of affection while on duty were a punishable offence. Even off duty it was an unwritten rule that you didn't show off physically in front of others. It was just a matter of courtesy.

Kara sat in her corner, watching the other pilots. Five were still playing cards and two were filling out their weekly schedules. She thought about rejoining the game but decided not to. She really ought to get tomorrow's work done, but somehow she was finding it difficult to concentrate. Her mind kept coming back to Lee, marveling at how well they were getting along. They'd sat for nearly an hour discussing pros and cons of various schedule plans and not even fought once. That had to be a record. That's not to say they didn't ever fight; that would have taken a miracle given their vastly different dispositions, but their arguments tended to be less volatile, and less personal. No hurt feelings afterwards the way there used to be.

She pulled up a page and began to write, forcing herself to get the days work finished.

'How many deaths did I die before I was awakened to new life again?'

(Nichole Nordeman - Holy)