A Teacher or a Leader?
Chapter One
Disclaimer: I don't own "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie". Much of the dialogue in the story is taken from the movie. I don't own the song "It's Been a Long, Long Time" either.
Teddy Lloyd saw his former lover across the room, and a plan formed in his mind. Smiling, he made his way to the punch bowl, taking two cups. He walked over to Jean Brodie, who was standing amongst some of her former students.
"Would you like some punch, Miss Brodie?" he asked her.
"Oh, Mr. Lloyd!" she exclaimed, taking the cup from his hand. "Thank you. That's very thoughtful of you."
Her girls scattered, and Teddy stood beside her.
"Well, Jean, how's the Franco fund coming along?" he asked her as she took a sip of her punch.
"Mm! Not well. Popular sentiment being what it is, one can hardly plead the cause in the Marcia Blaine assembly hall."
He smirked. "Yes, I dare say. I, too, am attempting to raise funds for a worthy cause," he told her.
"You?" she laughed. "What sort of cause?"
"A romantic one," he told her. "I am taking up a collection to buy a wedding present… for Lowther and Miss Lockhart." She froze. "May I put you down for a pound? It's to be a simple affair in Cramond Kirk a week on Saturday. I'm told when they announced their intention to Miss MacKay last evening, her delight was so profound that she ran amok and toasted them in neat whiskey." She fled from him, running into the garden. He followed her.
"Ah, Miss Brodie!" Mr. Burrage, a member of the Board of Governors, called out to her.
"Oh, good evening, Mr. Burrage, girls," she said, approaching them.
"Good evening, Miss Brodie," the girls chimed.
"I've not seen you dancing yet," Mr. Burrage said.
"Oh, the night is young, Mr. Burrage," she told him. Teddy approached her. "Excuse me for one moment." She followed Teddy deeper into the garden.
"Teddy… Teddy, who told you to come to me like that?" she asked him desperately.
"I volunteered," he said. "'I,' said the sparrow, 'with my bow and arrow.' I volunteered."
"And what kill, pray, did you expect to make?" she spat the question out. "Do you think I cannot, with one snap of my fingers, send poor Miss Lockhart," she sneered her name, "back to her gaseous domain? It was I who encouraged Mr. Lowther in his reluctant pursuit of Miss Lockhart," she said, and he could tell that she was trying to convince herself of that even as she tried to convince him. "What I cannot understand is you. I cannot understand you," she told him. "Malice. Coming to me that way, hoping to hurt and humiliate me… why?" she asked him.
"I don't know. It's what I wanted, to hurt you," he told her.
"Why?" she asked him desperately. "Why are you so angry with me?"
"Because I'm afraid," he admitted. "Because I don't feel safe with you around. You should have married old Lowther, you really should. I'm forty-three years old, Jean. How old are you?" he asked her.
"I'm – I'm in my prime," she replied.
"Your prime!" he laughed. "Look at yourself, Jean," he said, pointing at her. "Look at me – a second-rate painter running to seed. You're not in your prime, Jean," he told her.
"Teddy, don't…" she entreated as he ripped the gauzy veil of romance that shrouded her perception of the world to shreds. He ignored her plea.
"You're a frustrated spinster taking it out in idiot causes and dangerous ideas. A schoolmarm," he spat out the worst insult he could think of, an insult that was entirely true.
"I am a teacher," she defended herself, albeit weakly.
"A teacher or a leader?" he asked her. "The dangerous Miss Brodie and her troops," he said, smiling sadly. "Well, where you lead I cannot follow," he told her.
She turned away from him, tears trickling down her face. With only a few words, he had altered her entire outlook on the world, had changed it irrevocably, made her realise how alone she was. She stepped behind a tree, hiding herself from the other people milling about the garden, and sunk to the ground, beginning to cry harder. He knelt next to her.
"You don't always have to lead, Jean," he told her, overcome with remorse for the harsh words he had said.
She looked up at him. "But who will lead if I don't?" she asked him through her tears.
"I will," he said. "I will lead, and I promise that I will never let you regret it."
"All right," she replied, smiling tentatively up at him, even as tears still fell down her face.
"I love you, Jean," he whispered, wiping away her tears. "I'll never let anything harm you again." He took her hand, and she entwined her fingers with his.
"I love you, Teddy," she said, her face brightening as she realised that while he had destroyed her world, he had brought her into his own. She was no longer alone.
He stood up, pulling her to her feet. "Would you like to dance?" he asked her, smiling down at her.
"Oh, yes," she replied, and he took her hand and led her back into the hall.
Miss MacKay watched them dance disapprovingly, though she held her tongue. Come Monday, Jean Brodie would no longer be a teacher at Marcia Blaine, and that was a more than satisfying revenge.
Although Teddy and Jean wanted to dance together for the rest of the party, they did not want Miss MacKay to suspect anything, so Teddy danced with Jenny and Monica (Sandy refused to dance with him), as well as Miss Lockhart, while Jean danced twice with Mr. Burrage and once with Gordon Lowther, much to her chagrin.
"I hear I must congratulate you on your engagement to Miss Lockhart," Jean told him.
He had enough courtesy to flush embarrassedly.
"Ye-yes," he stuttered. "I didn't tell you, Jean, because I didn't want to hurt you."
She laughed humourlessly. "Well, you have hurt me," she told him. "You used me, Gordon!" she accused him.
He flushed again. "I'm sorry," he mumbled as the song ended.
"As am I," she replied, walking away from him, headed towards Teddy and Miss Lockhart.
"Congratulations, Miss Lockhart," Jean told her stiffly.
"Thank you, Miss Brodie," the chemistry teacher said, beaming at her. She excused herself to go join her fiancé.
As the music began to play again, Teddy bowed to Jean.
"May I have the pleasure of this dance?" he asked her, and she nodded, smiling. He took her in his arms, and they danced. When the song ended, Miss MacKay stood up and announced that the next song would be the last one. The song began to play – it was "It's Been a Long, Long Time."
"Very appropriate song for us, isn't it, Jean?" he asked her.
"Quite," she replied, closing her eyes to relish the feeling of being in his arms once more. He began to croon the words to the song in her ear.
"Kiss me once, then kiss me twice
Then kiss me once again.
It's been a long, long time.
Haven't felt like this, my dear
Since I can't remember when.
It's been a long, long time
You'll never know how many dreams
I've dreamed about you.
Or just how empty they all
seemed without you.
So kiss me once, then kiss me twice
Then kiss me once again.
It's been a long, long time.
Ah, kiss me once, then kiss me twice
Then kiss me once again.
It's been a long time.
Haven't felt like this my dear
Since I can't remember when
It's been a long, long time.
You'll never know how many dreams
I dreamed about you.
Or just how empty they all
seemed without you.
So kiss me once then kiss me twice
Then kiss me once again.
It's been a long, long time.
Long, long time."
When the song ended, Jean said goodbye to her girls and gathered her shawl. She met Teddy at the gate.
"Will you come to the studio with me, Jean?" he asked. "I want you to see your portrait after so many years."
"All right," she acquiesced, and they began to walk to his studio, arm in arm.
Before they had got very far, however, he stopped and turned to her. "Jean, I have to tell you something," he said. She urged him to continue. "I slept with Sandy."
Her hand flew to her breast. "But... Jenny..." Jean trailed off.
"I was trying to find a substitute for you amongst your girls, Jean, as you wanted me to do. But while you were pushing me towards Jenny, who does look more like you, I chose Sandy because she IS more like you; acts like you, thinks like you – but it was not enough for me. No one can compare to you, Jean – you are all that I want, all that I need," he said.
"Is it over with her?" she asked him.
"Yes, she ended it. She was jealous of my love for you, Jean – even the portrait I painted of her is really a portrait of you."
"Thank you for telling me, Teddy," she said. "Am I still allowed to see my portrait?"
He smiled at her. "Of course," he said, and they resumed the walk to his studio.
Jean was glad that Teddy had been honest with her – it showed that he loved her, because he did not want an illicit tryst to ruin their relationship. And she could not be angry with him – she had been pushing him towards one of her girls for a long time, and she would not be a hypocrite and be angry with him.
"We're here, Jean," Teddy said, pulling her out of her thoughts. He opened the front door and brought her up to his studio.
His studio was just the way she had remembered it, with one change. Her portrait was framed and hung on the wall. She tentatively stepped closer.
"It's perfect, Teddy," Jean breathed.
"It's the best work I've ever done," he said proudly, beaming as she smiled at him.
"Can I see the portraits of my girls?" she asked him curiously. He nodded, leading her over to a stack of paintings. There were several paintings of Jenny, a portrait of Monica, and one of Sandy. And all the portraits did indeed look like her.
"I love you, Jean," he said, kneeling at her feet.
"And I love you, Teddy," she replied, pulling him up off his knees. She took his hands in hers and encouraged him to embrace her. Stretching up to kiss him, she began to step back to the bed even as their tongues danced with each other. She fell back onto the bed, and he released her from his embrace so that he could undress. She pulled off her knickers and threw them to the ground before unfastening her dress and shimmying out of it.
Finally naked, he sat on the edge of the narrow bed he kept in his studio and reached out, caressing first her cheek, then her neck, breasts, stomach, hips... she parted her legs for him and he slipped a finger into her. Her breathing began to come in gasps, and he grew more aroused as he watched her writhe with pleasure. She began to come as he slipped another finger inside of her. He lowered his mouth to her breasts and began to tease her nipple with his tongue.
When she had drifted down from her climax, Teddy withdrew his fingers and brought them to his mouth, tasting her juices, grinning impishly as she watched him.
"You are such a naughty boy, Teddy!" she exclaimed, and his grin grew wider.
"Would you like to be naughty with me?" he asked her.
She nodded, her eyes growing darker as she rolled him onto his back and straddled his legs. Giving him one last smile, she took her penis into her mouth, running her tongue around the head, one hand giving his balls a gentle massage.
He groaned, a deep, primal sound, and allowed her to continue until he was on the brink of orgasm, when he pulled her up.
"Now, Teddy?" she asked him, positioning herself so that his cock was pressing against her entrance. He nodded, and she let herself sink down onto him. "Aah, yes!" she cried out as he filled her completely.
"Jean!" he shouted her name as she rode him. She began to come again, and he rolled her onto her back, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his hips. He continued to thrust in her, prolonging her orgasm. He finally climaxed when she peaked for a third time, collapsing on top of her.
"Oh, Teddy, how could ever have lived without you?" she whispered in his ear as they lay together in bed.
"When you were not with me, Jean, I was not living – I was just going through the motions of life. But it was not living – only when I am with you am I living."
She smiled up at him despite the tears brimming in her eyes. "I'm so sorry for denying my love for you for so many years," she said. "I'm so sorry."
"Shh, Jean darling, it's all right," he soothed her. "We are together now, my dearest, and everything will work out for the best," he said.
"How, though? You are still married," she said.
"I promise that I'll try to find a way to divorce Deirdre," he said. "I never want to give you a reason to leave me again."
"Even if we can't find a way, I promise that I'll never leave you again," she told him.
"I'm glad of that, Jean – I could not survive if you left me again," he said seriously.
She snuggled up to him, yawning.
"Tired?" he asked her, stroking her hair. She nodded. "Then let's go to sleep, my love," he said. She nodded again, stretching up to give him a kiss. He returned it, and then pulled the blankets up over them.
"I love you, Teddy," she said.
"And I love you, Jean – I love you."