I stared at my phone for what seemed like hours before sliding it into a closed position and placing it on the bed next to me.
Do you still love me?
It was a text from my most recent ex, Liam. I'd broken up with him a few days ago, after a 3-month relationship. That was the longest relationship I'd ever had. Don't get me wrong, though, cause he's a great guy. I just…stopped liking him and things became dull and just went worse from then. I did us both a favor cause I'm not good at pretending to have feelings for someone. They come out fake and it's just an epic fail. I sighed, rolling back onto my back and pressing 'play' on my remote. I'd been watching American Idol reruns all day, having a pretty good day, and then all of a sudden he texts me.
It's not like I meant to break his heart, but my feelings just went away. In the beginning of our romance, things were hot, unpredictable, and he was the most amazing boyfriend. He walked me to class, held my books, kissed like a goddess, and we just clicked. We talked. Not many 13-14 year old guys do that. Then there was the new kid, Nick Lucas. There was this thing about him that attracted me to him from the first day I saw him, sometime back in October, I think. I didn't have any classes with him and didn't care too much for new kids, but one day, my life changed.
I'd been waiting on my mom to come pick me up after school one day. My best friend, Kyle and I, were standing on the corner by the store. Then, all of a sudden, this cute, dark, curly-haired boy walked over. I was breathless the moment our eyes made contact. It was as if the planets all aligned--no exaggeration. Kyle introduced us and from then on we talked for the next 15 minutes. Nothing deep, though. Just random thoughts. It seemed as though every time I looked up, my blue eyes connected with his brown eyes. It was…magical.
Shortly after, we'd had our first dance of the year. The Harvest/Halloween dance. I'd been dancing the night away with Kyle, Demi, and some of my close friends. We were dancing in a sandwich when Kyle pulled me aside and told me Nick wanted to go out with me--in a dating sort of way. I was extremely excited on the inside, but managed to keep my cool. I looked out of the corner of my eyes and saw him sitting on the bleachers, watching us. I told Kyle to tell him to ask me himself, but he never did. A few weeks later--November 6, 2009, to be exact, I went over my (female) best friend, Demi's house. We had the most serious conversation we'd had in months about our love lives. Demi was the type of girl who dated a guy, and at the same time talked to other guys. Even guys the guy she was dating knew. Even guys the guy she was dating was related to. I giggled as we reminisced. Then came the time to talk about current love affairs. She'd told me how she'd been crushing on this guy in the 9th, Joe Gray, and I giggled. We were pretty good friends, since we had gym last hour together and for some 'odd' reason were always on the same team. I called him and asked if he'd maybe want to go out with Demi, you know, doing my civil duties as a best friend. He shortly after agreed and he and Demi talked for a couple minutes.
Uh-oh, I thought, as I looked at the face Demi was giving me.
"Your turn, now."
I thought about it for a moment. Earlier in the week I'd seen Nick and Demi hugging and acting al buddy-buddy, only closer, so I'd figured he'd had a thing for my best friend. If things with Joe didn't work out, at least she'd have a back-up.
"Uh.. you think you could call Liam Bemsworth? He'd in my 3rd hour computer class and a total hottie!" I said, plastering on my best 'barbie smile'. I'd become quite good with them over the last week time period.
Before I knew it, the deed was done and I was dating Liam. Things were pretty good from then on with morning texts, late texts, talking 24/7, hanging out, etc. Somewhere in there, I started to love him, but my feelings for Nick never went away. In fact, they got worse when Liam and Nick started to hang out with each other and go to weight training. I began to panic. I couldn't handle being around Nick that much. It was almost unbearable to be around him and have Liam put his arm around my waist. Every time it happened, I could feel Nick's eyes burning a hole through my soul. It was as if I'd reached the bottom of the bottom. No return.
So, now it's February 14, aka Valentine's Day. Liam's parents divorced years ago, so it's been made a tradition that every year he and his mom do stuff on Valentine's Day. I didn't have a problem with it at first, until I realized just how horrible it was to be alone on Valentine's Day. But then again, this was around the time my feelings for him 'vanished' I sighed, logging onto facebook. Demi posted pics up from the Valentine's Day dance 2 days ago & I giggled. Glancing through the photos, I suddenly noticed a new chat appear at the bottom of my screen. My heart literally started to beat faster as I read the name: Nick Lucas. Hesitantly, I opened it.
hey.
hey urself. y r u online? don't u have a valentine?
as it turns out, no.
hmm..sux
tell me about it. 0.o y r u online? dnt u have a 'boyfriend'?
yea, but..somethinq came up.
wow… he's stupid. leaving a beautiful girl like u alone on v-day. some1 mite steal u =]
lol. idk about that.
I do
Awkward…
After that, the rest of the day went my nicely. I talked to Nick the whole day and we even exchanged numbers. He sent me texts over the next few days calling me 'sexy', 'beautiful', 'gorgeous', etc. I felt appreciated. Liam never said those words to me. I suddenly started to question my relationship with him even more than I already had. I felt bad for leading him on, and 4 days after Valentine's Day, I broke up with him.
Over the next few weeks, Nick and I's relationship blossomed. We went from friends to best friends, & although he'd admitted his feelings for me about a day and a half after my break up with Liam, I didn't want to go back to school having everyone think I was a whore. I mean, who goes on break with a boyfriend and comes back with another one? Plus, people at my school were very judgmental. So, Nick and I had decided to wait, suggesting it'd be best for both of us.
By March 5, 2010, my relationship status had changed
In a relationship with:
Nick Lucas