Greetings to you all! I've been writing up the third and final story for the VK Pregnancy Trilogy but then this idea struck me when I played this game with my friends. It looked so funny in my head that I wrote it down! My friend and I had decided to do one for the Vongola when they are young, one for the TYLVaria, and then one with the TYLVongola, and young Varia. So, hopefully you all laugh and find it funny! OH, and I tweaked some rules of the game to make it go by faster, tee-hee!
Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn; all rights go to Akira Amano!
Warnings: Shounen-ai, implied acts, bad language, and violence.
Reborn: Welcome to a round of The Dirty Mind Game! Today we will be playing with the Varia! Introduce yourselves!
Xanxus: Trash.
Squalo: VOIIIIIIIIII! What kind of game is that? Huh?
Belphegor (Bel from now on): Shishishi~ The prince will play.
Fran: Bel-senpai will fail. -Knives hit the frog hat-
Bel: What was that froggy?
Levi: If boss plays than I will play! -Looks at boss with a smile- (Ugly -_-)
Lussuria: Ahh~ I want to play!
Mammom: I'll play if it involves money.
Reborn: -Frowns- I said introduce yourselves but whatever. Okay, let's begin with the rules!
#1: No dirty comments allowed! A point is taken away for every one.
#2: No cheating! Any ways of cheating found by me will result in instant loss…
#3: You must accept your punishments or else… -Evil smile-
And that's all! Shall we start or do we have questions?
Squalo: -Raises hand-
Reborn: Yes Squalo?
Squalo: Why are you here and not with the brats?
Reborn: -Smiles evilly- Nevermind why I'm here, any other questions?
Lussuria: What is the game about?
Reborn: You'll see. All you have to worry about is trying not to lose because trust me, you'll regret it…-Evil glint in eye along with the evil smile-
Varia: -Shivers run down their spines, well except for Fran and Xanxus-
Reborn: Well, if there are no more questions we shall begin. –Pulls out a booklet. It says Dirty Minds #1-
Reborn: Ok, I will give you a series of clues and you have to guess what it is. There are only three clues and you must guess in fifteen seconds. Any one of you can say anything first. The people who get it right get one point and the people who get it wrong get negative one. Try not to say anything dirty…Ready?
Varia: -Nods-
Reborn:
#1: I sometimes get balls caught in my throat.
My box smells.
I can have a little pussy.
What am I?
Varia: -Mouths hang open, except for Fran and Xanxus but Xanxus has wide eyes-
Squalo: VOIIIIIIIIII! What was that? That sounds so wrong!
Reborn: Your time starts now.
Lussuria: Ahh…It…I can't…I can't help but think dirty~
Reborn: Ten seconds.
Mammom: This is easy; it's a woman giving a blowjob.
Bel: How do you know it's a woman? Shishishi~
Fran: Bel-senpai, didn't you listen to the last clue? It said 'I can have a little pussy.'
Bel: Well, whatever. I think it's a man giving a blowjob.
Squalo: VOIIII! I know! It's a garbage can! You know, balls get stuck in there!
Reborn: Five seconds, if you don't guess in these last five seconds, you automatically lose.
Levi: It's boss!
Everyone: -Stares at him-
Levi: What?
Xanxus: Oi trash, are you calling me a woman?
Levi: Of course not! -Soaked by the glass of wine that was in Xanxus's hand-
Levi: Sorry boss. –Sad expression- (Hahaha…)
Reborn: Three seconds.
Xanxus: …My sky liger.
Reborn: One second…
Fran & Lussuria: Cat…?
Bel: There is no way it's a-
Reborn: Correct! One point for both of you, the rest of you get negative one.
Squalo: VOIIIIII! What? Why?
Reborn: You all broke rule #1, no dirty comments! The only one who didn't was Levi, Squalo, Xanxus, and those two. –Motions to Fran and Lussuria-
Mammom: It's hard not to think dirty though, especially when you wear those disguises.
Reborn: -Changes out of sexy costume-
Fran: Told you that you would fail Bel-senpai. –Knives hit the frog hat-
Bel: Shut up froggy, the prince lost on purpose.
Fran: Of course fake prince, whatever your fake mind tells you.
Reborn: Before Bel murders Fran let's continue.
Levi: -Upset face- (Hahaha…) I'm failing you boss. -Earns a glare from Xanxus who's still angry about the woman reference-
Reborn:
#2: I did it with chickens.
You lick your fingers after eating my meat.
Big succulent breasts were my business.
What am I?
Varia: -Stares into space with wide dreamy eyes after hearing the last part, except for Fran and Xanxus but Xanxus had his eyes closed-
Lussuria: Wouldn't it be nice if I had big succulent breasts?
Everyone: -Stares at him-
Lussuria: What? Ahh~ Just the thought of me looking sexy like that makes me shiver in delight~
Fran: So, he's gay and into himself.
Mammom: That about sums it up.
Reborn: Time starts now.
Levi: Boss as a girl!
Everyone: -Stares at him before starting to whisper with each other-
Xanxus: Oi…trash, did you call me a woman again? –Brings out guns-
Levi: NOOOOOOOOO! Don't kill me! I'm sorry boss! –Cowers down-
Bel: Shishishi~ The Prince knows this…Lesbians having sex!
Fran: Bel-senpai, I thought you were a genius…I guess you really are fake. –Knives hit frog hat-
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince will kill you this time for sure.
Reborn: Five seconds.
Squalo: VOIIIIIIIIIIII!
Everyone: -Jumps from the sudden loud sound, you see, they forgot Squalo except Fran-
Squalo:It's the chicken fast food restaurant!
Mammom: How does a restaurant have breasts? I for one think it's a chicken with breasts.
Xanxus: Trash, it's a rooster doing business, with hens.
Reborn: One second…
Fran & Lussuria: Col. Sanders…?
Bel: There is no way it's-
Reborn: Correct! Another point for you two and the rest of you get negative one, again.
Lussuria: Really? Ahh~ I'm winning even though I'm thinking such dirty thoughts~
Fran: …
Squalo: VOIIIII! What is this? How do you expect us to win by saying things that make it sound wrong! Huh? That stupid costume isn't helping either!
Reborn: That is the point of this game, don't think dirty, well you can think dirty but don't say dirty stuff. See, Lussuria and Fran have no problem. My costume shouldn't affect you, it's nothing. –Stands up from sexy position and takes off sexy outfit-
Fran: You failed again Bel-senpai, I'm starting to loose my faith in you.
Bel: -Pulls out knives- Shishishi~ Froggy has a death wish.
Mammom: Just do the third question.
Reborn:
#3: I'm the Grandaddy of all wet spots.
I smell fishy.
Men plunge into me.
What am I?
Everyone: Ocean.
Reborn: Correct! Everyone gets one point!
Bel: Shishishi~ See froggy, the prince is smart.
Fran: You'd have to be really stupid not to get that one Bel-senpai.
Bel: What was that froggy? –Pulls out knives-
Fran: Nothing Bel-senpai.
Lussuria: Oh~ Men plunge into me! Or maybe I do the plunging…
Everyone: -Stares at him-
Squalo: VOIII! I knew there was something fishy about that guy; he even leaves wet spots on his bed sheets!
Xanxus: How would you know that trash? –glares-
Squalo: -Freezes- VOI! It's…it's none of your business! –plays with his hair and continues blushing and avoiding Xanxus's eyes-
Mammom: Next.
Reborn:
#4: I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.
When I'm not well, I drip.
When you blow me, you feel better.
What am I?
Everyone: A nose.
Reborn: Correct! One point for each of you again! That puts all of you except Fran and Lussuria at zero. You two have four points and are ahead.
Bel: Stupid froggy, you got lucky.
Fran: Yes, I know you're jealous of me Bel-senpai, it's alright.
Bel: Shishishi~ -Knives hit Fran's frog hat-
Fran: Ouch, stop that Bel-senpai. The hat will be ruined, not that I care. –Pulls out knives and bends them before throwing them away-
Bel: Shishishi~ Don't throw away the prince's knives unless you mean to replace them.
Levi: Boss, I wish I could blow on you to make you feel better…
Everyone: -Stares at him-
Lussuria: Ahh~ I finally got it, Levi loves the boss~
Levi: -Blushes furiously- Of course I do!
Everyone: -Silence- (Oh my Levi, you don't realize the implications of those words)
Squalo: V-VOIII! Levi's in love with the boss? –shock and hurt flashing through his eyes-
Mammom: That's just not unusual, anyway next question.
Xanxus: …Trash. –glances at Squalo-
Reborn: -Changes out of the sexy Tsuna costume- I think we all know who is really gay for Xanxus.
Bel: Shishishi~
Fran: Yup.
Lussuria: Mhmm.
Mammom: Whatever, next question.
Reborn:
#5: I try to do it with sheep.
I try all night to get the right position.
I only sleep in snatches.
What am I?
Xanxus: A wolf, grr~ –Makes pawing motions in the air- (Aww)
Reborn: Ten seconds.
Mammom: An addictive book.
Bel: Shishishi~ That's definitely not it, it's a person trying to have sex.
Fran: I didn't know you were this perverted Bel-senpai, now I know to stay away from you.
Bel: Shut up froggy. –Throws knives at the frog hat-
Fran: I can't help but point out that this frog hat looks like him so you would basically be throwing it at him. –He pointed to Mammom-
Mammom: Is that true? I'll have to charge you for every knife you've thrown at that hat then. –Talks to Fran who tells him how many times he's thrown the knives at the hat, Fran secretly adding more-
Reborn: Three seconds.
Levi: Boss attacking the sheep raping them, and then worrying about it later when he's trying to sleep!
Everyone: -Stares at him dumbfounded, except for Fran-
Xanxus: Oi…trash, ARE YOU FUCKING CALLING ME A ZOOPHILE OR BEASTALIST?
Levi: NOOOOOOOOO! –Kisses Xanxus's feet who kicks him in the face-
Reborn: One second…
Fran & Lussuria: Insomniac?
Bel: There is no way it's-
Reborn: Correct! Negative one to all of you but Fran and Lussuria who get another point.
Everyone but Fran &Lussuria: -Twitches with a tick mark-
Squalo: VOIIIIIIIIII! You gotta be fuckin kidding me! The Gaylord and the stupid frog are actually beating us?
Lussuria: Oh, I'm winning! –Squeals and claps hands together-
Fran: …
Mammom: Next, I'll get it this time…
Reborn:
#6: Over 1,000 people went down on me.
I wasn't a maiden for long.
A big hard thing ripped me open.
What am I?
Everyone: Titanic.
Reborn: Correct! Everyone gets a point.
Bel: Shishishi~ 1,000 people died.
Fran: Not 1,000, over 1,000 Bel-senpai.
Lussuria: I want a big hard thing to rip me open so I can scream~
Levi: I want boss to rip me open!
Everyone: -Stares at the two-
Fran: Wow.
Bel: Shishishi~
Mammom: Once again, it is not unusual, though they are acting more weirder ever since the game started…
Xanxus: Che…trash.
Lussuria: Come on~ I want the next one.
Reborn:
#7: It's a premature evacuation.
It's an alarming discharge.
Some men wear rubbers during one.
What am I?
Everyone: -Blinks slowly-
Mammom: I can't tell if it's a boy or a girl…I guess a boy because it says men.
Reborn: Time starts now.
Bel: Shishishi~ It's some boy in school jacking off of course.
Fran: Did you do that when you were young Bel-senpai? This might be you and some one decided to tell the people who made this game that because they saw you.
Bel: Shi…shi…shi~ Die! –Throws knives and hits Fran's chest-
Fran: That hurts Bel-senpai, please stop. –Pulls out knives and bends them before throwing them away-
Reborn: Ten seconds.
Bel: Don't throw away the prince's knives unless you mean to replace them.
Mammom: It's an alien that wears rubber.
Squalo: VOIIIII! Are you all stupid? It's a flood!
Reborn: Five seconds.
Levi: Its boss's…um…thing.
Everyone: -Shakes head-
Xanxus: I'm killing you trash. –Brings out guns-
Levi: NOOOOOOO! I'm sorry; I'm just saying what I'm thinking! –Cowers down, whimpers in fear, and starts begging for mercy-
Reborn: One second…
Fran & Lussuria: Fire drill?
Bel & Mammom: There is no way it's-
Reborn: Correct! One point for both of you and the rest get negative one.
Squalo: VOI! I hate this fuckin game! How do you know what boss's thing looks like? –Glares at Levi-
Levi: Hmph, I don't, I just like to imagine…-Dreamy face-
Everyone: ….
Mammom: There is no way you guys will keep getting it right over and over; you have to get something wrong.
Lussuria: Oh, Mammom-chan's jealous~
Mammom: Am not and don't call me 'Mammom-chan.'
Xanxus: Trash, is there a point of this game?
Reborn: You show your secrets without realizing it.
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince said no secrets of himself.
Fran: Except for the one where you jacked off in school. -Knives hit frog hat-
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince never did such a thing in school, he probably did.
Fran: Hmm… So you admit you did do it though not at school, your hotter twin did it at school, now I get it.
Bel: Shishishi~ Who's the hotter twin? -Pulls out knives-
Mammom: How can there be a hotter twin when you both look alike?
Squalo: VOIII! Would both of you shut up, we're in the middle of a game! If you hate each other that much go fuck in a bed or something!
Bel & Fran: With him? Hell no. -Stares at each other, well, Bel probably would be glaring under his bangs and Fran's probably glaring on the inside-
Lussuria: Here I thought you were a pedophile back then for liking Mammom-chan so much~
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince is going to kill you all.
Mammom: Next one, I'm getting it right for sure and could you stop wearing that stupid costume!
Reborn: -Gets out of sexy Ryohei costume- I like it.
Lussuria: Reborn-chan looks so cute~
Reborn: -Aims gun at Lussuria- Don't call me 'Reborn-chan.'
Xanxus: Trash, finish the game so I can go do something. –glances at Squalo-
Reborn:
#8: All day long, it's in and out.
I discharge loads from my shaft.
Both men and women go down on me.
What am I?
Everyone: -Eyes wide and mouths dropped open, well, except for Fran-
Squalo: VOIIII! This is so dirty! It's probably some bisexual person!
Bel: Shishishi~ It's probably the froggy.
Fran: Me? Why me Bel-senpai? It's you, I see you staring at both males and females.
Bel: Shut up froggy. -Throws knives at frog hat-
Reborn: Ten seconds.
Levi: Elevator, its boss and the elevator.
Everyone: ….
Xanxus: Oi…trash, ARE YOU FUCKING SAYING I'M HAVING SEX WITH AN ELEVATOR?
Levi: NOOOOOO! I'm not; I'm just saying that it's either you or the elevator! –Cowers down-
Mammom: Boss has him wrapped around his finger; I also think it's an elevator,
Reborn: Three seconds.
Xanxus: I'll deal with you later trash. It's a damn elevator.
Reborn: One second…
Lussuria: ME! It's me!
Everyone: ….
Reborn: Everyone but Levi, Xanxus, and Mammom get negative one for getting it wrong while they get one point.
Lussuria: I got one wrong? No, it can't be!
Bel: Shishishi~ The froggy isn't smart at all.
Fran: I'm still ahead of you and winning Bel-senpai.
Lussuria: Next, next!
Reborn:
#9: I have a stiff shaft.
My tip penetrates,
I come with a quiver.
What am I?
Lussuria: That is so easy, it's an arrow~
Mammom: I have to agree.
Everyone else: -Nods-
Reborn: Correct! You all get one point! Xanxus, Mammom, and Levi have one point while Squalo and Bel have negative one. Fran and Lussuria have seven points and are in the lead.
Fran: Told you Bel-senpai.
Squalo: VOIIIIIII! What are our punishments if we lose? You never told us!
Reborn: -Smiles evilly- You'll find out at the end, all of you.
Mammom: Hmm, you two have been stuck on the negatives since the beginning.
Squalo & Bel: -Twitch-
Fran: That's because Bel-senpai fails…
Bel: What was that froggy? –Pulls out knives-
Fran: Nothing Bel-senpai.
Xanxus: Oi, shitty trash, stop talking so we can finish this stupid game, next question.
Reborn:
#10: I offer protection.
I get the finger ten times.
You use your fingers to get me off.
What am I?
Everyone: -Start coughing except for Fran-
Squalo: VOIII! Why does it sound so dirty! I keep thinking of…!
Reborn: It's supposed to sound dirty; you have to have an open mind.
Levi: It's boss in a condom!
Everyone: …
Xanxus: Oi…trash, WOULD YOU FUCKIN STOP REFERRING TO ME IN EVERYTHING YOU SAY?
Levi: Sorry boss! You're so amazing that I can't help it!
Reborn: Your time started already and you now have ten seconds.
Squalo: VOIII! Isn't it your job to tell us when the time starts? That's not fair!
Reborn: I did, you just didn't hear.
Mammom: I think it's a woman using a condom.
Bel: Shishishi~ It's obviously not that, it goes to say that it's lesbians having sex.
Fran: Bel-senpai, you already said that and it was wrong before.
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince knows he's correct this time.
Reborn: Five seconds.
Xanxus: Its gloves trash.
Lussuria: I agree~
Fran: Gloves.
Bel: There is no way it's-
Reborn: Correct! You three get a point and the rest of you get negative one.
Squalo: VOIIII! I FUCKIN HATE THIS GAME! –waves sword arm and slashes at things-
Mammom: Squalo's about to snap.
Lussuria: Next question~ And Squalo-chan has already snapped since he heard about Levi and the boss!
Reborn:
#11: I get stuck with a piece of meat between the buns.
When I get old, I get limp.
You're never satisfied with a little head.
What am I?
Everyone: -Thinks of food for some odd reason-
Fran & Lussuria: Hamburger.
Bel: Shishishi~ What makes you think that?
Fran: It says meat and buns which are associated with hamburgers.
Squalo: VOIII! It's not a hamburger, its lettuce!
Mammom: I have to agree with him on this one.
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince agrees with the peasant as well.
Xanxus: …Lettuce.
Levi: If boss agrees then I agree, even though I think its boss dressing up as a hamburger.
Everyone: ...
Xanxus: I'll deal with you later trash.
Reborn: Everyone but Fran and Lussuria get a point, you two get negative one.
Lussuria: I can't believe I'm getting it wrong, but of course, my mind is so dirty that I probably can't focus~
Mammom: I'm surprised most of you haven't gotten erections from this.
Everyone: …-Shifts around to hide something from the baby-
Reborn: -Smiles- That's what I said to Tsuna and the others.
Lussuria: Oh~ They played too?
Reborn: Ten years ago.
Fran: -Whistles- That's long.
Squalo: VOIIII! Who cares if the brats played! Where's the next question?
Bel: Shishishi~ Who won?
Reborn: Well, the top two were Rokudo Mukuro and Hibari Kyoya.
Everyone: …
Fran: Master played too?
Reborn: He had no choice like the others, but they both lost.
Levi: What happened to them?
Reborn: -Smiles evilly- Their worst nightmare came true.
Squalo: VOIIII! Can we do the next question already?
Reborn:
#12: I go in hard.
I come out soft.
You blow my wad.
What am I?
Everyone: Bubble Gum?
Reborn: Correct! You all get one point!
Lussuria: That was easy~
Reborn: We now have Xanxus at four points, Squalo and Bel at zero points, Fran and Lussuria at eight points, Levi and Mammom at two points.
Fran: I'm eight points ahead of you Bel-senpai.
Bel: Shut up froggy.
Reborn:
#13: I usually tickle.
I sit on a man's face.
I'm hairy.
What am I?
Everyone: -Laughs in their mind-
Levi: Boss as a female monkey sitting on some one's face!
Everyone: -Laughs in their mind again for they were expecting this-
Xanxus: Oi…trash, DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING MONKEY TO YOU?
Levi: NO! I'm sorry boss! Forgive me, show mercy!
Everyone else: It's a mustache.
Reborn: Seven seconds Xanxus.
Xanxus: -Looks up from beating up Levi- Whatever the other trash say I say.
Reborn: Everyone but Levi is correct, one point for you guys and negative one for him.
Lussuria: Boss is behind four points, he's catching up fast!
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince finally got out of the negative and zero number zone.
Fran: Good job Bel-senpai, I didn't think you could do it.
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince will kill you.
Mammom: Hmm, how many questions are in this game?
Reborn: 13 more questions for you guys and two extra questions for the top two.
Squalo: VOIIIIII! 13?
Reborn: It'll go by quick, I think.
Mammom: You think?
Xanxus: If there are that many left, stop talking and finish it quicker, stupid trash.
Reborn:
#14: Two people grab my joint.
You wish for my big piece.
I'm a double boner.
What am I?
Everyone: …
Lussuria: Some how this reminds me of a turkey.
Everyone: -Stares at him before nodding their heads-
Reborn: Final answer? You have ten seconds left.
Squalo: VOIIIIII! It's obviously a boner!
Mammom: If it's going to be a boner, I think its two boners doing naughty stuff.
Bel: Shishishi~ If it's going to be like that, I think they wish to do more than naughty stuff.
Lussuria: I wish some one would do naughty stuff with me~ –Dreams about a guardian…- (Who knows who Lussuria's dreaming about?)
Everyone: ...
Reborn: Five seconds.
Lussuria: Wait, turkey isn't my answer!
Xanxus: …My guns.
Everyone: …
Levi: Its boss and me!
Xanxus: What trash? Are you implying that we are…HAVING SEX TOGETHER?
Mammom: We wouldn't find it odd, well Squalo might be angry.
Squalo: VOIIIIIIIIIIIII! What's that supposed to mean? Huh? –blushes a bit-
Reborn: One second…
Fran: Wishbone.
Lussuria: WISHBONE~
Bel: There is no way it's-
Reborn: Correct! Everyone but Lussuria and Fran get negative one while they get one point.
Everyone but Mammom and Reborn: -Wishes that some one would take care of their boner-
Squalo: VOIII! Lussuria's guess shouldn't have counted since he already guessed turkey!
Lussuria: I changed it Squalo-chan! That is allowed, right?
Reborn: It's allowed as long as he does it in the allotted time.
Everyone: -thoughtful expressions while scratching their heads or stroking their chins-
Reborn:
#15: I have the right tool for your crevice.
You're dirty when you grab my hose.
I'm a dirt bag that sucks.
What am I?
Everyone: -Looking through their dirty thoughts-
Lussuria: I wonder what your dirty with when they grab your hose~
Mammom: Is dirt bag another word for slut?
Everyone: …
Lussuria: That's it! It's me!
Fran: I think its Bel-senpai.
Bel: What was that froggy? -Knives hit frog hat-
Levi: -Mumbles something but you catch boss-
Xanxus: -Tick mark ticking vigorously-
Everyone but Lussuria & Fran: Vacuum Cleaner.
Squalo: VOII! It's obvious! What else is a dirt bag that sucks?
Everyone: …
Reborn: All of you but Fran, Lussuria, and Levi get a point while you three get negative one.
Lussuria: What would happen if we had an orgy after this?
Everyone: … -Stunned speechless as horrible images flash through their minds-
Levi: I call boss!
Everyone: …-Stunned speechless as more horrible images flash through their minds-
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince is royal so he shouldn't sleep with peasants.
Squalo: VOIIII! We all know you wanted the baby and now you want the stupid frog!
Fran: … -Gets up and walks to another seat far from Bel-
Mammom: …-Floats to another corner away from Bel-
Bel: The prince is going to kill all three of you.
Reborn:
#16: You grope for me in the dark.
You put your hand in your pocket and fiddle with me.
I will only work in the right hole.
What am I?
Everyone: -Too busy either watching or participating in the fight to notice the clues-
Bel: Shishishi~ Stop moving.
Squalo: VOIIIIII! Who're you gonna kill? Huh?
Reborn: Ten seconds.
Mammom & Fran: -Trying to get away from Bel-
Lussuria: Oh, my~ Maybe they should have a nice fuck to relieve this tension!
Reborn: Five seconds.
Everyone: ...
Mammom: What do you mean five seconds?
Reborn: I told you the clues and the time started and now you have five, no, three seconds to guess or you all get negative one point.
Everyone: …!
Reborn: One second…
Everyone: Keys…? –Not sure since they didn't hear the clues and just guessed keys because they saw a bunch lying on the table for some unexplainable reason-
Reborn: Correct! Don't know how you could have possibly gotten it but you all get one point.
Fran: That was the right answer? We just saw some keys over there. -Points to the keys on the table-
Lussuria: Lucky~
Reborn: Xanxus has six points so far, Squalo, and Bel have two points, Fran and Lussuria have ten points, Mammom has four, and Levi has negative one.
Fran: Still ahead of you Bel-senpai.
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince has to kill you.
Lussuria: Fondle me!
Everyone: …
Lussuria: Ahh~ I mean, let's continue~
Xanxus: Trash, surrounded by stupid, weird trash.
Squalo: VOIII! Shut up and let's play!
Reborn:
#17: People eat me.
I'm best when I'm hot and juicy.
They love my sausage.
What am I?
Everyone: -Licks their lips except Fran, yes, even Xanxus licked his lips- (Of course, that's because Xanxus loves meat~)
Lussuria: Some one should try my sausage~
Levi: Boss…hot and juicy…his sausage…eating it…
Everyone: …
Xanxus: -Tick mark ticking really fast-
Reborn: Ten seconds.
Bel: Shishishi~ It's obviously a big fat dick leaking.
Fran: Leaking? Leaking what?
Lussuria: You're so innocent Fran-chan~
Fran: … (Probably pouting in his mind)
Squalo: VOIIII! It's obviously a crayon!
Levi: It's boss's thing!
Xanxus: TRASH, I'M FUCKING KILLING YOU!
Levi: NOO! -Screams of agony follow-
Reborn: Five seconds.
Mammom: Mushrooms.
Bel: Mushroom? Shishishi~ That's stupid.
Xanxus: -Glances up from beating up Levi- Hot dog.
Reborn: One second…
Fran & Lussuria: Pizza…
Bel: There is no way it's-
Reborn: Correct! You two get a point and the rest of you get negative one.
Lussuria: It was actually pizza?
Fran: We just thought that we should have pizza for lunch and said it at the same time.
Bel: That shouldn't count…
Fran: Don't be jealous Bel-senpai, I still love you.
Bel: Shut it froggy or the prince will turn you into a cactus.
Reborn:
#18: I'm game.
I end in "U-C-K."
I'm horny.
What am I?
Everyone: …
Squalo: VOI, that really sounds wrong.
Fran: I can't help but think of you Bel-senpai when I hear this.
Bel: -Pulls out knives- Shishishi~ What's that supposed to mean froggy?
Reborn: Ten seconds.
Levi: It…it's…b…boss…a…and…m…me. -Passes out from exhaustion-
Xanxus: Trash, QUIT SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT! -Kicks Levi- (I'm so mean to him Oh well, it's fun )
Mammom: It's a buffalo toad.
Everyone: …
Fran: Are there actually buffalo toads?
Reborn: Five seconds.
Xanxus: Popsicle.
Everyone: …
Lussuria: What is up with all these random stuff, aren't you supposed to match the clues?
Bel: Shishishi~ It's obviously a man, he's horny and wants to fuck.
Squalo: VOIIIIII! It's my ass!
Fran: I really wish it won't be that.
Reborn: Times up! Fran and Lussuria, since you didn't guess, you get negative one point automatically as do the rest of you for getting it wrong. The correct answer is Buck.
Xanxus: …Che
Lussuria: But it sounds soooo wrong, I can't help it! I'm naturally perverted~
Mammom: What does that have to do with running out of time?
Squalo: VOIII! If you idiots would get your mind out of the gutter, you wouldn't have so many problems!
Xanxus: You're one to talk trash, you have zero points. –smirks at him-
Squalo: What was that? –glares at him-
Reborn:
#19: I can get stiff.
I have a deep throat inside me.
Men have hair growing out of me.
What am I?
Everyone: … -Blinks-
Mammom: Probably Squalo, he's so girly and he does have a deep throat.
Xanxus: How would you know that trash? –glares at him-
Squalo: VOIIII! WHO LOOKS GIRLY? HUH? –red and pink flash across his face-
Fran: A neck.
Everyone: -Looks at him-
Fran: The answer I think is a neck.
Lussuria: It does sound like a neck, but also some one giving a blowjob~
Bel: Shishishi~ I agree with the froggy this time.
Everyone: -Nods-
Reborn: Correct! You all get one point, well, except Levi since he didn't answer in the appointed fifteen seconds.
Everyone: -Looks at the unconscious body before shrugging-
Lussuria: It's hot~ -Takes off shirt-
Everyone: -Blinks-
Bel: Shishishi~ It is kind of hot.
Fran: Bel-senpai, please don't take off your shirt.
Bel: Why shouldn't the prince take off his shirt?
Fran: …
Reborn:
#20: I fit in between your legs.
You make me go faster by whipping me.
If you ride me too long, you walk funny.
What am I?
Everyone: -Thinks of dirty stuff-
Fran: This reminds me of BDSM that two males would do.
Lussuria: Fran-chan! Don't say such stuff! What have you done to him Bel-chan?
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince has done nothing. –huge smirk-
Reborn: Ten seconds.
Mammom: It's Reborn being kinky.
Reborn: …That would be Colonello.
Squalo: VOIII! No! It's the Bucking Bronco, he uses a whip!
Fran: On who?
Mammom: A lot of people, like that one cloud guardian.
Fran: Hmm… Are any of you one of the people? And if my Master found out that the Bucking Bronco used a whip on his cloud guardian…
Everyone: …
Reborn: Five seconds.
Everyone but Mammom, Squalo, & Levi: A horse.
Reborn: Correct! All of you but Mammom, Squalo, and Levi receive a point while they receive negative one.
Squalo: VOI,I still think it's the Bucking Bronco, the clues fit him perfectly.
Reborn:
#21: I'm pink & moist.
My juice makes you pucker.
I'm split down the middle.
What am I?
Everyone: Grapefruit.
Reborn: Correct! You all get one point! Well, everyone but Levi who gets negative one.
Lussuria: Split down the middle~ My juices make you pucker~ Ahh~ It sounds so…!
Everyone: …!
Levi: -Groans- Boss…boss! –Jumps up- I'm awake now!
Everyone: -Stares at him-
Fran: Bel-senpai, you should be like him.
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince won't be a peasant.
Fran: I like your twin brother better for some mysterious reason now. –Knives hit frog hat-
Reborn:
#22: I usually take it in the rear.
You can smell it on your hands when you're done.
It takes a long hose to fill me.
What am I?
Everyone: …
Squalo: VOIII! It's obviously two men going at it!
Bel: Shishishi~ So hard that they rock the bed.
Fran: I can make your bed rock.
Everyone: -Stares at the three-
Reborn: Ten seconds.
Mammom: Gas tank.
Fran: I agree.
Lussuria: Can you just imagine me taking it in the rear? I can~ Oh! I agree with the gas tank.
Xanxus: …Gas tank.
Reborn: Five seconds.
Bel: Shishishi~ Gas tank.
Reborn: One second…
Levi: Its boss and some one doing it hard on the bed so they can make it rock but then a gas tank explodes and they are burned to ashes!
Everyone: …!
Squalo: V…voi, is that even possible to be an answer?
Xanxus: TRASH!
Reborn: Everyone but Squalo and Levi is correct and get one point while they get negative one.
Fran: Bel-senpai, you're doing really well, it's surprising.
Bel: Shut it froggy.
Reborn: Xanxus has eight points, Squalo has zero, Bel and Mammom have four, Fran and Lussuria have fourteen, and Levi has negative four.
Lussuria: Still in the lead~ I'm so happy!
Reborn: Four more and then we'll do the top two and see who wins and who gets their punishments.
Everyone: … -Swallow hard-
Reborn:
#23: My business is in my briefs.
I am a cunning linguist.
I plead for it.
What am I?
Everyone: Lawyer.
Reborn: Correct, everyone gets one point!
Levi: I would plead for you boss.
Lussuria: Plead? I would beg~ I would writhe and moan and…!
Everyone: …
Bel: Shishishi~ Froggy, if we ever have sex, would you beg for me to fuck you?
Fran: Bel-senpai, we are never going to have sex but if for some unknown mysterious reason we do, maybe. It actually depends on how good you are.
Bel: Shishishi~ The prince is good at everything, including pleasuring someone.
Fran: Wonder where you got the practice… I can't imagine anyone sleeping with you. –knives hit hat-
Levi: Boss! If we ever have sex, I will beg!
Xanxus: …I don't soil myself with trash. –glances at Squalo who glares in return-
Reborn:
#24: You suck on me with your mouth.
I can't stay hard forever.
There's sometimes lipstick on my stick when you're done.
What am I?
Everyone: -Thinking hard- Popsicle?
Reborn: Correct, you all get one point!
Mammom: A popsicle, I really thought it was something else for a second, until you got to the stick part.
Squalo: VOIIIIIIIIII! I want a popsicle!
Everyone: …
Squalo: What? It's hot!
Fran: Oh, that kind of popsicle.
Squalo: What kind did you think I was talking about?
Everyone: …
Levi: You were probably thinking of the boss's dick!
Squalo: VOI! LIKE FUCKIN HELL I WOULD! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT? –blushes like crazy-
Everyone: …
Reborn: #25: I licked all the other girls.
I'm a queen.
I do it in high heels.
What am I?
Everyone: …
Fran: Maybe if Bel-senpai was a girl, it would be her, I mean him. -Knives hit frog hat-
Bel: Shishishi~ Froggy has a death wish.
Fran: What? It was a compliment.
Squalo: VOI! I know this! It's Miss America!
Mammom: What makes you think that?
Squalo: I was watching TV and couldn't find anything but then that came on and I watched it!
Everyone: -doesn't bother to question why Squalo watched that show-
Reborn: Five seconds.
Everyone: I agree.
Reborn: Correct, you all get one point!
Fran: This is the last question.
Bel: Shishishi~ I wonder what our punishments are.
Reborn:
#26: You love to lick me.
After your mouth works on me, I get sticky.
The climax comes when you chew on my stick.
What am I?
Everyone: Lollypop!
Reborn: Correct! Everyone gets a point!
Levi: I failed you boss, I have zero points…
Reborn: Now, let's see who our top two are and finish this up so we can do the punishments. –Evil smile-
Everyone: …
Reborn: Fran has fifteen points!
Lussuria has fifteen points!
Xanxus has thirteen points!
Bel has eight points!
Mammom has eight points.
Squalo has four points!
Levi has zero points!
Everyone: …
Reborn: Fran and Lussuria are the top two and will have the two bonus questions to see who gets first place and escape their punishment.
Everyone: ...
Squalo: Voi, at least we picked up our thinking in the last three questions.
Everyone: -nods-
Reborn: Now we shall begin the bonus round,ready you two?
Fran & Lussuria: -Nods-
Reborn:
*1: I assist an erection.
Sometimes big balls hang from me.
I'm a big swinger.
What am I?
Squalo: VOI, that sounds really wrong!
Fran & Lussuria: Crane.
Reborn: Correct, you both proceed to the final question.
Everyone: -Mouths drop open at how fast they answered it-
Reborn:
*2: I make you breathe heavy.
You do me in many different positions.
I make your muscle hard.
What am I?
Everyone: …
Lussuria: Uhh...ahh…umm…I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE~ IT'S ME DOING STUFF TO- -Knocked unconscious due to Xanxus throwing a wine glass at him-
Fran: Exercise.
Reborn: Correct, Fran is the winner!
Bel: Shishishi~ Lucky froggy.
Reborn: I will list your punishments and you will do them, for I will make sure you do them. –smirks- Thankfully, the audience that has watched this show will not have to watch you scream and cry. They will just know your punishment and let me tell you, they are deliciously evil. –Smiles innocently-
Everyone but Fran & Lussuria: -Sweatdrop-
Lussuria: -Wakes up- Wh…what happened?
Reborn: You lost the game and shall face your punishment.
Lussuria: Noooo~ -not really upset about facing his punishment cause he really wanted it actually-
Reborn: Xanxus, your punishment is that Squalo will dominate you.
Xanxus: -Eyes wide-
Reborn: Squalo, your punishment is that we braid your hair and dress you up as a girl.
Squalo: VOIII! Over my dead body!
Reborn: -Aims gun- That can be arranged.
Squalo: -Eyes wide-
Reborn: Bel, your punishment is that you switch positions with Fran, including clothes.
Bel: Shishishi~ Huh?
Reborn: Enjoy yourself~
Bel: -Mouth drops open-
Reborn: Lussuria, your punishment is turning straight and acting serious.
Lussuria: Noooo~ Anything but that!
Reborn: Have fun~
Lussuria: -Eyes wide-
Reborn: Levi, your punishment is Xanxus kicking you out of the Varia.
Xanxus: At least something good came out of this.
Levi: NOOOO! Don't take me away!
Reborn & Xanxus: Too late.
Levi: -Eyes wide, drops to the floor, and mouth falls open-
Reborn: Fran, if you lost, your punishment would have been showing emotion.
Fran: Yay, I'm glad I won.
Reborn: Mammom, your punishment is giving your money to Bel and whatever you earn from now on.
Bel: Shishishi~ At least something good came out of this for the prince.
Mammom: My money, all gone…
Reborn: That's all, thanks for coming to The Dirty Mind Game: Varia Style!
Varia: -Crying, screaming, and running around in anguish, well, except Fran who's watching and videotaping-
*Still ten years into the future*
Reborn: I'm back!
Tsuna: Reborn! Where did you go?
Reborn: -Smiles innocently- To the Varia.
(By now, all the Vongola had gathered around Reborn)
Yamamoto: Varia? Why?
Reborn: I introduced them to The Dirty Mind Game; you remember it, don't you?
Mukuro: Kufufu~ I just remembered I have something to do. –Drags Hibari off-
Hibari: Herbivore, let me go or I'll bite you to death! I can walk to the training grounds by myself.
Mukuro: Kufufufu~ Who says we were going to the training ground? –smirks and disappears with Hibari-
Gokudera: Uhh, Juudaime, I have to perfect a new move!
(Basically everyone runs off and Tsuna is left with Reborn)
Tsuna: You introduced them to that evil game?
Reborn: I told Xanxus it was your fault, he promised to pay a visit and give his thanks.
Tsuna: His thanks? -Faints from the horrible images of Xanxus giving his 'thanks.'-
Reborn: Even after ten years you still hate the game? Your still dame-Tsuna, that's for sure.
And the end! I'm sorry if some things seemed rushed or messed up. I re-read it over and over to catch any mistakes, if I missed any, please let me know. Hope you all laughed! See you when I upload the final VK chapters!