Heaven's Not Enough
Chapter 1: Left Behind…
Along a cliff's edge, a lone figure stands, gazing intently at the world beyond. A gust of wind shoots through the clearing, causing their unruly hair to dance lightly in the breeze. Slowly, the figure blinks, their concentration broken. Raising their head slightly, their gaze focus's on the clear sky beyond, the infinite strands of light and dark blue that intertwine and encircle above clouds of gentle white. The scenery is somewhat comforting for the figure, and though she knows it is impossible, it seems as if she has been here many times, that she had stared into heavens like this, finding comfort from their icy depts.
Slowly, the figure turns, dragging her eyes away from the almost hypnotic scenery, to begin her decent away from the cliff's edge. Soon, the loose earth and gravel underfoot fades to large, flagstone pavements, the desolate landscape suddenly inhabited by large, whitewashed buildings crumbling with time. Not breaking stride, the figure stayed towards the outskirts of the city, her delicate feet making no sound on the stone below. Ducking under fallen pillars and around piles of rubble, the figure continued onward until in no time at all, her goal was in sight. In the middle of a large clearing, a shallow pool resided, its contents gently lapping at its stone sides.
After a brief glance around her, the girl hurriedly descends the stone steps, making her way over to the pool. As she reaches its edge, she hesitates, not knowing what she will see in the water's blue depts. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, the girl reached out to grasp the stone lip of the pool, gradually pulling herself into a leaning position over the edge.
Her reflection stared back at her—flowing yellow hair, and big, green eyes—nothing more, nothing less. For a moment, the girl sat there, willing the water to come alive, to show her, like before, what action she should take. However, no matter how hard she tried to have it be otherwise, the water continued to be still.
"Please," she whispered, her soft pleas cutting the silence around her, "I don't know what to do anymore. Everything seemed so clear before, but now…" she glanced away.
"Tell me what I should do. Show me something. Anything!"
Nothing happened.
As her voice slowly faded, silence engulfed the clearing once more.
The girl bowed her head, her hair falling like a certain to hide her face. "Why?" she asks softly, her gaze never wavering from the pool, "why will you no longer show me? What have I done? I used to be able to see…I used to be…" A sob escapes her. Slowly, she collapses onto the cold stone, her form shaking slightly.
"Why…why have I been left behind?" She whispers her gaze now cloudy with unshed tears. Her head sinks to the pavement, obscuring her face from view.
Not being able to hold back her tears any longer, Yumemi sat there and cried, unleashing the overpowering feelings of hopelessness and despair that she would otherwise not show.
.*.
Cautiously, Yumemi opened her eyes, squinting into the darkness.
For a moment, she just lay there, watching the swirls of shadow play tricks upon the ceiling. She did not need to look at the clock on the nightstand to know it was still late. Purposefully, she kept her mind blank, allowing her senses to wonder. The night was eerily silent, the same silence of the late midnight hours where even the nightly creatures had receded back to slumber, leaving the sky and earth seemly empty.
Slowly, she raised herself into a sitting position, her knees coming forward to rest against her chest. Without thought, she raised her delicate hand and entangled it in her loose hair. After a gentle squeeze, she let it fall to rest at the nape of her neck.
Letting out a deep sigh, Yumemi raised her head slightly to stare out the window, blinking her large, green eyes at the terrain beyond. Sure enough, the night was still in full swing, the air seemingly thick and intoxicating as it sometimes was at this hour. Her gaze traveled upward, past the half shade of moon shining back at her and towards something else, something that could not be made out in darkness of this magnitude.
She sat there for a while, her large eyes focused on what's hidden in the heavens above. Though unable to be seen, Yumemi was certain that it was there. Spending most of her life gazing up at the same large plain of land, Yumemi never had trouble finding it in the silent sky. Resting above the heavens, she knew that the giant island floated, still and silent in the night air.
Not being able to put it off any longer, Yumemi slowly let the contents of her dream wash over her.
It was true that these last few years had not been easy for her, but she had always been able to press on. Though not exactly what she had always dreamed of, Yumemi could not complain about her current lifestyle. She had graduated high school with pretty good marks, enabling her to enter a fairly good college. Ichiko had even enrolled with her and they were still as close as ever. They were even roommates, now. Though Suzume did not join them at University, choosing instead to marry Kazuya and stay with him until his studies are completed, they still stayed in contact and saw each other on a regular basis. She was even able to keep in contact with her family, visiting them whenever possible.
What more could she have asked for?
Her life was filled with joy and laughter, the happiness of her friends seeping into her being. As long as the ones she loved were happy, then she was content.
Then why was she having these dreams? Why was she suddenly unsure?
She had gotten over the shock long ago, the ever sinking, bottomless hole of longing that filled her being for months at a time, then the jarring stab from the realization that he would never return. It had all slowly repaired alongside the city around her. She had gotten over those childish hopes, finally realizing that they could never come to pass. This was her life now, not those fleeting dreams of a fourteen year old. She understood that, had finally accepted the enviable, that this was all life had to offer.
But then why did she now feel so lost?
For a fleeting moment, Yumemi let herself wonder… wonder if it was different… if…
But no, she was being silly.
She shook her head slowly in the darkness, not believing her absurdity.
She had done her job, fulfilled her dept to both worlds. The worlds were now joined, the course of Akuto able to flow freely between them.
She was a hero. She was no longer that timid girl afraid of the floating islands only she could see. Now, everyone could see the same sky she could, they could even travel to the other world if they so wished. The novelty of the Heavens had long worn off, becoming just another aspect of everyday life.
The future that they had fought so hard for was now a reality. She should be content, overjoyed really.
But she wasn't.
Though she hated to admit it, there was still some small, embarrassing part of her that spoke of grander things, that life had more to offer than this.
But how could she possibly believe that?
Five years….
Five years had passed and still nothing. Surely something would have happened before this amount of time had passed.
At first, it had seemed like nothing. What were a few months? He had left her his cape and gold ring as a promise that he would not leave her for long. She had been busy with her studies anyway, the ever looming high school entrance exams getting closer and closer. He had promised to come back, and she had fully believed in him.
When a year came around, even then she did not worry. She had had to wait a year before. This was nothing. He must have just been busy, as he always was. She could wait a little longer; he would come when he could. Even Toche, who she had taken to visiting almost weekly, reassured her that he would come back; all she had to do was be patient. Yet, she still couldn't help it when her eyes shifted towards the islands beyond, her mind always never too far away.
It was during this time that she was constantly expecting for him to suddenly appear before her, as was his fashion. Everywhere she would go, her eyes would scan around her, looking for that flash of vibrant red and those searing, golden eyes. She even swore on occasion that she could almost feel that electric shock racing through her, just like before when she would cross worlds. Often, she found herself standing on that little wooden bridge, imaging that it would take her once again to that magical place. It was times like this that she would just close her eyes, a small smile tracing her lips, and stand silent for a moment, feeling the world around her. Then, as if nothing happened, she would go on her way once more.
He was coming. She was sure of it.
It is hard to pinpoint exactly when the realization fully set in that he was never coming back. Was it as the second year rolled around? The third? It is always hard to tell. Either way, those were dark times.
Maybe she had always known, deep down, that he had abandoned her. Looking back, he had never truly promised her, it was just a mutual understanding between him. After a while, the citizens of the Upper World began fearing the worst, that somehow, their valiant King had perished, however Yumemi knew better. If he had truly died, wouldn't she have known? Wouldn't her link with him have somehow let her know at least that much?
However, as the months dragged by, she did have her doubts…
Nevertheless, it became increasingly clear that she had just not wanted to listen to reason, to see what was staring her in the face for so long. She had been a fool for ever dreaming that he would come back to her.
Maybe it was when she could no longer find his ring or cape anywhere, though she spent hours tearing her room apart looking for them. That had been a tough blow. She had cried for hours, not knowing how she could have misplaced something so precious.
How could she have lost the gifts he gave her?
When he came back, what ever would she tell him?
But then he was never coming back, so what did it matter.
No longer did she look with hope towards the heavens. No longer did she walk with that spring in her step or gaze expectantly out into a crowd. Mainly, she just kept her face down, not looking at anyone.
It was at this time that she contemplated bringing out her old umbrella, just for something to hide behind. However, she finally chose against it. She was no longer afraid of what she saw. That, at least, remained the same.
It was what she didn't see that caused her pain.
Her visits to the Heavens became fewer and fewer, until she barley visited at all. No one really blamed her; they could tell it must be hard for her. Even Toche didn't complain when their talks became fewer and far between. Everyone was busy anyway. The Heavens were almost fully rebuilt, shining in a splendor that hasn't been seen in centuries. Now, the floating island was a flood of tourists and other curious onlookers from the Lower World, booming with life and prosperity.
No longer did they need a slip of a girl to remind them of the past, she understood that.
It was hard, though; to have to go on as if nothing happened, going through the normal routines of life acting as if she weren't constantly staring up at the sky with hopes for more. However, with time, she came to accept it. Come to get over how she felt and was even able to genially smile again. Her friends were always there, always supportive, and that may have helped, somewhat, to speed up the healing process. Yumemi soon learned how to leash her feelings and hopes, locking them away in a corner of her mind, away from her everyday thought. Soon she was able to function normally once more. She had quickly set to the task of making her life the best that she could, and had felt pretty proud of herself for accomplishing it. Even when she would sometimes pass his memorial, she was proud to know that it no longer affected her too badly. Sure, it still hurt, but the pain was somewhat bearable now.
The rest of high school rushed by in a blur and before she knew it, there she was, looking up into that darkened sky and wondering… wondering if that really was the end of it.
Well, there really was only one way to find out, wasn't there…
Just something that has been preoccupying my mind for the last few days.
Let me know what you think.
more comming soon.
Signed,
OneRogueAngel