A/N: So, I was feeling a little bit bored, and I recently rewatched the midseason finale of season 4. I've always kind of sympathized with the Governor, and I guess that's mainly why I wrote this. I just wanted to write a bit about some of what I thought that he was thinking and feeling in that scene where he shoots Meghan. It's nothing spectacular. Mostly it was just something my mind conjured up that I wrote to keep myself busy, and I wanted to share it with you all.
Deja vu. That's what they called it right? That feeling that something that was happening, had already occured. It had in Philip Blake's case. In a different life. With a different little girl. That didn't make it any better, the horror and the gut-wrenching despair. He could see his own pain reflected on Lilly's face as she held her daughter's corpse, along with the silent accusation that she was throwing his way. She didn't have to say the words, they were in her eyes. This is your fault. It was strange, the way he was suddenly there in front of her, taking Meghan's body into his own arms. He hadn't remembered getting up, the grief overwhelming him and putting him into a state of numbness. He did, but he did not, pull the pistol from his holster and put it against Meghan's chin. Then time slowed down.
This is where I messed up last time. I let Penny turn. Then I fed her rotting corpse, actually stupid enough to believe... To believe that there was hope.
It felt like he stood there forever, fixing his single, bright cerulean eye on the little girl in his arms. He couldn't hear the yelling, the gunfire flying between both sides as a war raged on. He could no longer feel Hershel's blood drying in flecks on his face and neck from when he had decapitated the old man. He was numb. He had to be. It was the only way that he could go through with it. He wasn't going to let his emotions get in the way this time. Meghan was dead. She could be at peace now. He wasn't going to rip that away from her.
Now I know... There is no hope.
Despite what it felt like, he only held her for a second before pulling the trigger, dropping her lifeless corpse to the ground afterwards. He didn't look back at Lilly, his face blank of everything as he walked forward, stopping in front of the fence that separated the prison from his army. He briefly thought of Meghan. She was dead, and Lilly would never forgive him for that. There was no reason left for him to keep this place intact. It was all over. "Go through the fences, with your cars, with your guns!" he shouted the order. There was no hope for anyone anymore.
"Kill them all."