Disclaimer: The only characters that I own are the ones that I created, the rest and Narnia itself is C.S. Lewis.
Forgiveness From Aslan
The sound of rhythm tick from machines were the noises that greeted the young women who steeped through the wide gray door way. The walls with their sterile white paint matched the standard sheets, covering the mattresses in the hospital. All the hospitals that she has been in or visited never change, with the clean white and silver metals some might hold cream curtains or even beige but never such obnoxious colors as yellow, green, or red.
The women walked towards the only currently occupied bed in the room. The purple sun dress that she wore brushed against her bare legs, her white laced flats occasionally made the audible squeak against the polished tilled floors. Long black hair cascaded down her back, only the front strands pulled back with a clip preventing a curtain to hide the lovely face. Her blue eyes scanned the body lying before her.
An older lady laid still, the only signs of life showing in the slow but steady rise and fall of her chest along with the beeping of the heart monitor. Hair, that was once black, now white and shorter than how it uses to be in her youth, graced the top of her head and spread across the pillow. The younger woman bent down lightly touched the side of the wrinkled cheek as she gently called out, "Grandma, its Raina. I came to visit you."
Tired baggy eyelids slowly lifted to show dull blue eyes that lost their shine a long time ago. She was greeted with those same eyes that still had a fire in them, the eyes that her granddaughter receives from her. The corners of her lips slightly rise in greeting.
"Ah, my dear Raina, what are you doing here?" her voice was raspy and weathers from old age, in the background the pump continued streaming fresh oxygen through the clear tube below her nose.
"Well to see you of course. You are my favorite grandmother." Raina smiled down at the old woman and gave her a kiss on the forehead. A soft chuckle breezed past the patient's mouth
"Child you should be off attending parties and being with your friends instead of here with a dieing woman past her prim."
"Now Grandma Susan you know I'm not much of a party goer. I would much rather be here with you, my family." Raina glanced behind her and pulled the chair away from the wall and situated herself next to the bed. Susan reached out her shaky hand. The veins showed blue through her transparent pale, sagging skin. A few calluses remained but most have softened away since she stopped being the archer a long time ago. Raina reached for the hand that her grandmother offered. "What is it grandma?"
"Family is good. But, they will always be there; you should be having a good time while you can. Take the advice from an old woman who's done it all." Susan pushed on; she was in great pain with her old, decrepit body shutting down slowly as the days went by.
"Grandma, you and I both know that family will not always be there, they die. And I don't want to miss my moment with you." Raina pressed on just as stubbornly, she knew her grandma's intentions were good, but she couldn't stand having fun knowing her grandma is in the hospital dieing.
"You, do have a point. Are you talking about my siblings by any chance?" Raina just nodded her head and still held on to Susan's hand. "They lived good lives, yes they left before their time but, they went to a better place. They went home."
"Grandma, are you okay? Do I need to get the doctor?" Raina slightly rose letting Susan's hand go once she saw the pained expression on Susan's face.
"No, no, child, physically I am not in pain. It just sometimes hurts to remember…times past." Raina stared on for any more signs but the monitors read nothing out of the ordinary and with a reassuring node from Susan she settled back down.
"It's funny; I suppressed those memories for so long because they pained me. Yet, lying here I can not help but remember them all."
"Well grandma maybe you need to reflect. There might be something that you need to come to peace with."
"My child there is a lot of things I need to come to peace with. Like the fact that my siblings were right. Narnia was not a childish game we played."
"Narnia?" Puzzlement graced the young beauty features at the mention of this peculiar name.
"Yes, Narnia was the place of magical adventure, a place where Peter was the High King. King Peter the Magnificent. King Edmund the Just, Queen Lucy the Valiant, and I Queen Susan the Gentle. We ruled there after defeating the evil White Witch. Then after our time was up we left returned to England. It turned out that in our time we were only gone for an hour. For thirteen hundred years in Narnia we were gone, it was only a year for us. Then we were called upon by a young prince for help." Susan paused to catch her breath and pointed towards the water jug.
"Wow, Grandma that is some story you got going on." Raina stated as she grabbed the cup of water handing it to Susan.
"T'is no made up story child, for years I tried to say the same thing. It was just a game that we played to get away from the true war brewing in our world. But it wasn't it was too real for us to have it as a story, far too real." Susan persisted, the sharp edge clearly in her eyes. Raina caught this look and couldn't help herself but be pulled into her grandma's words and believe what she said.
"Alright, then please tell me about this Narnia." She took back the now empty cup and set it down. Susan stared off collecting her thoughts before she continued.
"Narnia was a beautiful country, when we first went there it was blanketed in snow because of the White Witch. We soon found out that we entered that world to help fight, with the Narnians who were still faithful to Aslan. Oh, Aslan the most magnificent lion you could ever lay eyes on. Lucy and I were there when he sacrificed himself for Edmund, and we saw him rise again from death. We fought along side with Aslan and he defeated the Witch. After that the snow melted completely the trees danced the animals rejoiced. Meadow were forever green, the ocean was a sight to behold. It was all so clean not like England, nothing like England. The animals talked and there were Fauns, Centaurs and other magical beast. There were also other kingdoms to the south and west, Princes came to court me and my brothers the great kings that they were challenge those unwanted. It was a grand time."
"Then you left." Susan looked at her granddaughter and smiled.
"Yes, we left for a year in our time, thirteen hundred in Narnia. When we came back Narnia as we knew it was gone. It was a cruel and savage place after what happened. The Telmarines invaded and tried to kill all the creatures of Narnia, Aslan was no where to be seen. Peter, I believed, felt the most at fault for leaving and letting all of it happen, even though we couldn't have prevented it. We later found out that Prince Caspian of the Telmarines called upon us. From there we prepared to fight them, there was the failure of our first attack, and a loss of many lives on both battles. But in the end Lucy found Aslan, Lucy never lost faith in him unlike the rest of us. She always believed in him. After we won Aslan spoke to Peter and I, he told us we learned all that we could and shall not be coming back. It was our turn to live here in our own time and use what we learned in Narnia to survive in England. So we did, we left even though….even though it pained me to leave. The young Prince Caspian, no not prince but King Caspian would rule in our stead." A sense of longing washed over Susan's face. "He's the one that called us on my horn. He was a great man, handsome, powerful, yet kind and would be a wonderful leader."
"Grandma?" Susan looked at her and mumbled 'yes.' "Did you love this Prince Caspian?" A knowing smile spread across Susan's faces her eyes glazed over.
"Yes, I believe so."
"Grandma, you never talked about any of this before, in fact you never even mentioned any of your siblings names." Raina worriedly looked over the old woman who has always been in her life since she was born.
"Your right, I never did before because I didn't want to be reminded. When they died in that tragic train wreck, I knew they went back to Narnia to be with Aslan, and I hated that they left me alone, in this world to be miserable."
"But, weren't you happy with grandpa?"
"In a sense yes, don't get me wrong child, after the accident your grandfather was there for me encouraging me to mourn but also live my life. He knew I wouldn't be fully happy with anyone even him but he stayed. I bore you mother and when you were born she asked me to name you, Raina. Do you know what your name means?"
"No, gran. What does it mean?"
"Queen. You just like your mother and I are Queens of Narnia, once a Queen always a Queen." Raina just nodded taking in all that her grandmother just said. It was all preposterous but a part of her, the still young girl that she was, wanted to believe her grandmother. Then all of a sudden her phone went off in her bag piercing the calm of the beeping machines. Raina quickly riffled through her bag, she pulled out a black leather book and set in on the table so she could find the device. Susan stared at the new object next to her, The Holy Bible. How ironic.
"Hello?"
"…"
"Yes, give me ten more minutes and I'll be heading down."
"…"
"Alright, I love you, too. Bye." With that she snapped the phone shut and dropped it back into the depths of her purse.
"If you have to go, then go. Don't think you have to keep me company." Susan assured her.
"No, I will not leave when I have enough time to spend with you." Raina waved Susan's comment off and smiled at her.
"I don't want you to be late."
"I won't be."
"Well then if you won't leave I shall just have to be nosy. Who was it then?"
"On the phone?" Susan nodded her head in confirmation. "That was just Nate my boyfriend. We're heading off to church and he wanted to make sure I remembered and I'm not going to ditch." Raina laughed and shook her head at her own thoughts a few strands fell out of the hold, she tucked them behind her ears.
"I was wondering why you have the Bible in your purse, when did you start going to church?" Raina glanced at the book previously forgot that she even took it out.
"When I started to date Nate. His whole family goes to church faithfully; at first I only went a few times to appease them. But then I truly listened and found myself enjoying what they had to say. Not to mention I think I truly love him, Nate I mean, and grandma I would willingly go to church even if I didn't like it for him."
"Now child that's not a good way to thing about going to church, but I'm glad that you're enjoying it, and are happy with him."
"Oh, I am he is a very handsome, kind man you would approve of him." Raina stared down at her intertwined hands lost in her thoughts of Nate. Susan's gaze stayed on Raina happy for her to find someone who she loved, then her eyes transfixed on the book questions ran through her mind.
"Raina, do you believe God is forgiving, even to those who stray from him?" Raina was pulled out of her daydream at her grandmothers words; she looked at Susan and then followed her line of vision, Raina's eyes landed on the Bible.
"Why, yes I do believe he is as long as those who strayed will go back to him, I believe from what I have read and heard. He is a kind caring God, who wouldn't forsake his children no matter how far away from the path they have strayed. In the end if they believe in him and acknowledge that, then that must be all that matters." Raina stated matter-of-fact content with her answer. She also noted that it seemed like her grandmother was greatly pleased with this answer as well. From the doorway a knock was heard. Both women's gazed switched from book to the figure standing before them. There a young man dressed in a baby blue button up and slacks stood before them. Susan for a moment only saw a man from her past, a man with black medium length hair, tan skin and dark eyes. However, she pulled herself out of those thoughts knowing that this young man is not him.
"Nate!" Raina cried out as she rose from her chair and briskly headed towards the man giving him a hug and a kiss. Susan took this moment to study him, he was well built and his hair even though it was black, was short and well kept. He did have that tint to his skin and then when he looked up he locked eyes with her. It was those eyes, defiantly the eyes that impacted her the most, they held that same strong look that Caspian held all those years ago. "Grandma this is Nate. The boy who I was speaking of earlier."
"Ah, yes your young lover." Susan chuckled making both children blush; Nate strode forwards and held his hand out towards her. Susan lifted hers and he quickly grabbed her hand, despite her fragile state Susan still was not brittle, but Nate did not dare to injure her and just held her hand and smiled at Susan.
"It is a pleasure to finally meet the woman who lays such a great impact in Rain's life."
"As it the same for me to finally meet the man who I know will take great care of her when I am gone." Susan smiled assuringly and looked at Raina. The sense of approval radiated from her and Raina greatly pleased stepped closer to the two.
"Grandma, I am sorry that we can't stay any longer but, we should get going." Nate let go of Susan and moved for Raina to be able to hug her grandmother.
"Thank you for everything my darling Raina. I love you," as Raina leaned in Susan whispered, "He is a great man, I can tell in his eyes, don't let him go."
"I don't plan too." Raina whispered back and pulled away, Nate even though he just met the woman felt compelled to hug her as well.
"Hurry and marry her, young man." Susan chastised him as he pulled away, Nate laughed well heartily and did not say a word on if he shall or not. With a final look the young couple walked towards the door. Susan glanced at her side table caught sight of the Bible and then urgently called for Raina, who quickly spun back around.
"Yes?"
"You're Bible, you almost forgot about it." Susan awkwardly grabbed for it and held it out for her. Raina looked at it and shook her head.
"No its okay grandma why don't you us it, I'll just steal Nate's. You can just hold onto it until the next time I visit, okay." Raina said knowing that at this point her grandmother needed the book more than she did. Susan understandingly placed the book on her lap and nodded thanks. "Good-bye Grandma Susan, I love you."
"I love you, too my dear, sweet, Raina. Good-bye." Susan whispered as she watched them continue onward out of the hospital. Susan then stared down at the book lying heavily on her lap. She reached out for her reading glasses and opened to Genesis.
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth…" Susan found herself reading a few passages from Genesis, Psalms, Matthew and Revelation. As the day wore on she found herself remembering all that she forgot. Later that evening after dinner was served Susan closed the book and gave a prayer before bed something that she hadn't done in a long time.
"God, Aslan, forgive me for letting myself be misguided, I have sinned in the worst of ways. I lost faith in you, in Narnia. I have lost my way from you. Please guide me back home as I pass from this life, take me home. Amen." With that Susan closed her eyes as she drifted off her breathing slowed until it stopped. The heart monitor screeched a rush of nurses and the doctor headed into the room immediately.
They went to work to try and bring her back, however it was too late, and it was Susan's time to finally return to her true home, to Aslan's country. The sound of the frantic staff and the incentive beeping slowly faded and Susan felt herself change. No longer was she in pain, in fact she did not feel like the old crippled woman trapped in a dieing or in this case dead body. She felt young again like she was far to long ago. She slowly drifted until she reached a lush meadow that looked familiar like something from Narnia, yet she knew it was different.
"Susan! You've found your way back!" The cry from a familiar voice greeted her ears. She glanced over at the source and saw Lucy the young girl she once knew bounded towards her in a yellow and white dress like those they use to where when they ruled. Susan smiled and shook her head. She noticed that not only did she feel young but her hair was back to its long black length, her hands held that youth and strength along with those calluses. She was wearing a green and silver dress like those that she wore when she was in Narnia. She noticed that Peter and Edmund where not far behind as Lucy finally wrapped her arms around Susan. Susan returned the hug happily and then felt the warmth of Edmund and Peter, how she missed them so. Her siblings her blood, she had returned to them.
Off in the distance stood three men, Rilian commented, "So that is Queen Susan the Gentle."
"Yes, it seems she found her way home, finally." The young man in the middle responded his dark eyes watched the four not ready to interrupt their long awaited reunion for his own. The other young man just stood and watched remembering what they had said about Queen Susan when she did not show with the rest of them to help in the Last Battle. He too was happy that they got to be with her again. Those three were so worried that she would not find her way.
Aslan watched all of this and with a smile walked towards the Kings and Queens of Old. The other three stepped away from their sister reluctantly, at the sight of the great lion Susan bowed to him. "Rise my child for you no longer need to kneel before me."
"Oh Aslan, I am sorry for loosing faith." Susan called out as she quickly went to Aslan and hugged him her face buried in his mane that absorbed her tears. "Please forgive me."
"Child, I had forgiven you a long time ago, it is you who needed to forgive yourself, and you did. Welcome home Queen Susan." After a few more minutes Susan finally let go of Aslan and looked past them all seeing someone she had not been able to see since she last left Narnia, the man that she also left her heart to, Caspian. She immediately ran towards him not waiting any longer to hold him once again.
At seeing her run towards him he opened his arms in wait for her, she happily fell into his warm embrace.
"I've waited for you for so long."
"Well I am sorry to make you wait." Susan apologized to her love.
"T'is alright that is what a King is suppose to do. Wait for the Queen until she finally returns to him." He assured her and then lightly kissed her. Susan was finally where she belonged. With her loved ones in Narnia.
The next morning Raina received a call from the hospital. They informed her that Susan passed away the night before in her sleep, and that Raina would need to come down to finalize paper work and receive the belongings of Susan's. When she got off the phone Nate was right there worried for what news Raina received. She stood rooted to the spot near the phone jack then a smile spread across her face.
"Love?"
"Grandma Susan passed away in her sleep last night." She calmly stated a single tear cascaded down her pale cheek.
"Oh Rain, I am sorry it'll be okay."
"Nate, I know, I'm happy not sad."
"Happy?"
"Yes, grandma was miserable and now she has finally been able to move on. She is able to be with her siblings and rest away from all of the pains this world gave her." Another tear fell but Raina still smiled and looked up at her lover.
"Rain you are one odd bird. Most people would ball their eyes out and mourn for their loss. You just smile, cry, and say you're happy."
"Well you git, unlike you I know that it is for the best. Her moving on and I am happy for that, so if you want a normal bird then you go off and fine that girl." Just like Susan, Raina's emotion changed in a split second and she was mad at Nate, tried to storm off.
"Now love, I never said I wanted a normal girl, I love you. Hell, if you remember I've been through a lot with you, I mean you spilled your hot drink purposely on me the first time we met. I don't plan on leaving you for a normal girl ever." He stated grabbing her wrist and turning around, Raina searched his eyes for any lies.
"You better not or I'll kick your arse all the way to Narnia."
"Huh." He looked at her lost beyond normally.
"Don't worry about it, its something gran Susan talked about the last day I saw her. This reminds me, I have to go to the hospital to grab whatever she had." Raina started and ripped away from Nate's grasp, and walked away from him along with the kiss that he was about to give her. She wiped away the fallen tears and went to grab her jacket.
"Impossible, bloody woman." He mumbled.
"What was that, darling?" Raina called from the hall closet.
"Could you get my jacket I'll go with you. I said." Nate briskly walked towards her and grabbed the coat, Raina gave him a knowing look and he just smiled. She heard what he said before that but let it slide as they left her apartment and headed to the hospital to get her Bible.
A/N:After watching Prince Caspian I couldn't be satisfied, and went to fanfic to quench my thirst. After reading a good few, my own ideas swirled in my head. I assure you this is all my own work and ideas, yes others inspired me but this is completely different from theirs, this is my own.
Hope you liked it, I know I am happy to get it out of my head. I remember originally having it as a whole Susan and Caspian love one-shot but Susan took over and demanded to be forgiven by Aslan. This also is something close to my heart and my relation with God. Sometimes I hate reflecting, but ti's good for the soul.
Please feel free to give me CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.