~The Tri-diots – Matchmakers Extraordinaire~
. . .
Disclaimer: *stands behind the podium, hugging a Nesoberi Honoka* I, [insert whatever name here], solemnly swear to love Honoka and Honoka alone, and I promise not to neglect the other members as well. And I promise not to use only Honoka as my Leader in School Idol Festival... which I will change... someday...
Oh, and I don't own Lovelive and blah blah blah, something about my incompetence, self-hate and stuff.
*runs off of the scene, still hugging the Nesoberi Honoka* HONKS IS LOVE
"I think we need to try a more clever approach."
Kotori looked up from her magazine as her best friend voiced her opinion. What was the opinion on, she wondered. It came out of nowhere. Like one of those cockroaches that races towards you in the kitchen even though it was not there prior. Though if she had to differentiate, she would say Umi is a little bit cuter than a cockroach. She would not voice it out loud though, afraid of the bluenette's wrath. Some people would think Kotori to be fearless, or a person who could not read the situation. Contrary to that, Kotori is quite frightened by Umi's capabilities. Not many people could give Honoka a slap to the face and lives to tell the tale (or in this case, Hanayo told the tale while Umi sat in the corner, ashamed of her action). Therefore, Kotori is quite frightened by Umi. The difference between her and Honoka was that Kotori knows how to handle Umi's anger. And she exercised it daily, mostly due to Honoka angering the lyricist every half an hour.
"Kotori!"
The girl in question was startled back to reality by her friend's call. She looked at Umi, seeing the girl was looking at her with narrowed eyes and crossed arms. She knew from experience how that was Umi's Universal body language for 'Stop joking around!', which Honoka was frequently the victim of.
"I'm sorry, Umi-chan. I spaced out for a second there." Kotori apologized to her best friend, an apologetic smile worn on her face.
The lyricist sighed and went back to writing on her notebook as she continued with the topic.
The two were in the Student Council room taking care of the paperwork. Though Umi had done her share of the work, and Honoka's, so she was writing on her notebook, presumably writing lyrics to an upcoming song so Kotori was the only one not done with her share. The Student Council President somehow slipped from Umi's grasp and was now playing somewhere, leaving the two to complete whatever that was left. The good news was that Honoka actually finalized most of the paperwork on her end. Knowing Honoka, Kotori deduced that the ginger got bored and gave up at some point.
Well, Honoka did yell "I'm so done!" and ran away from the boring hellhole, so deducing would not be an accurate word.
"What I was trying to say is-" Umi started, her pen movement stopping to address her best friend of her idea. "We need to tighten up our game if we want Honoka to notice our feelings for her."
Umi and Kotori noticed each other's affection towards their ginger-haired best friend ever since they were kids and it somehow came to an agreement where the two would work together as a team to have Honoka fall in love with both of them. It was a decision made when they were still children, therefore they kept working together even now. They even tricked Honoka into thinking that doing things with your childhood friends are normal, thanks to how easily gullible the ginger was.
"Yes, Honoka-chan! Switching panties with each other is completely normal for childhood friends!"
"How would you know if we're your only childhood friends?"
"Shut up, Umi-chan."
"I don't get it... but okay!"
"I don't think we should rush with this..." Kotori offered her opinion on the matter.
Umi gave her a glare.
"How long have we been trying to garner Honoka's affection?" Umi asked, her voice quite steady.
"Give or take 8 years?" answered Kotori, a little unsure.
"And how many times did Honoka ever hint that she was romantically in love with us?"
"... Zero?"
"My point exactly." Umi threw her arms and then went back to the notebook she was writing in moments prior. "So this is my plan."
Umi showed Kotori what was written on her notebook. At the top of the page, 'UmiHonoKoto version 17.4c' was written in italic form. Kotori praised Umi for her handwriting. It looked nice, until she looked to what was below the writing, where she could see badly drawn stick figures of presumably her, Umi and Honoka, if the writing on top of their heads could indicate that. Kotori tried to decipher what the pictures were trying to tell her.
She finally cracked the code after a good twenty seconds. It started with the three being in a subunit of sorts and then they would dance together privately without the interference of the other members. Next, they would get into embarrassing situations together. Then, Honoka would fall in love with them and confess. And finally, there wasn't any picture but large letters spelling 'PROFIT' in bold.
Kotori was actually disappointed. She thought the plan was actually going to be smart, coming from Umi. The girl sighed.
"And why would leaving Honoka-chan alone with the three of us help any more than what we used to do? We're practically inseparable. Honoka-chan is always with us no matter when. It's not like there's anyone in the group that would steal her from us."
Umi raised an eyebrow, as if Kotori had said something that defied an every day occurrence.
"Honoka, say 'aahn'." Maki raised her chipsticks, holding a small sausage in it.
"Aahn~" Honoka happily obliged and ate the meaty goodness cutely.
"..." Maki waited with anticipation for Honoka's next words.
"It's really good~" the ginger admitted with a smile.
"!" the redhead blushed and immediately looked down. "I- It's not like I wanted to know that!"
"I'm just saying what I felt like saying." Honoka clarified, the smile still plastered on her face.
"I- Idiot..." Maki whispered, uncaught by Honoka's ears.
"More!" Honoka requested, mouth already opened wide to receive her next offering.
Maki gave the girl what she wanted, still fighting (to no avail) the blush on her cheeks, a small portion of rice.
Honoka ate the offering with a smile.
The redhead then realized that a stray grain of rice had found itself on Honoka's cheek. "You have... some rice on you." the girl pointed at her senior's cheek.
Not knowing what the girl was trying to say, Honoka tilted her head in confusion.
Realizing that Honoka could not understand sign and body language even if her life was at stake, Maki took it upon herself to retrieve the grain of rice with her fingers, leaning on the table and surprising the senior for the bodily contact since she knew Maki did not like to touch people or be touched. The redhead looked at the grain of rice in her fingers. The grain of rice that was on Honoka's soft cheeks just a moment ago. The grain of rice that still had Honoka's smell on it.
Maki gulped, knowing what she was about to do next. She slowly moved the grain of rice to her lips and pushed it to the opening of the lips. She swallowed it.
"You could have used a tissue, you know." Honoka offered.
If it was possible, the blush on Maki's cheeks grew even redder. "I- It's not like I wanted to do that! It's just- It's just that I didn't have any tissues on me!"
Honoka looked at the far end of the table, Nico's spot, and there was an unopened box on top of it labelled 'tissues'. The senior decided not to pry further, showing how she dotes on her juniors so much. It's either that, or Honoka doesn't want to make an enemy off of Maki. She and Umi were far too similar. She would not want two Umi's in her life, thank you very much.
"Thanks, Maki-chan" the girl gave her thanks to her cute junior.
Looking down to hide her blush (which Honoka had already seen but think nothing of), the redhead nodded as she felt her heartbeat quicken its pace, her palms sweating from making a fist for too long, and her lips trying to hide a smile (and failed). "It's nothing..." the girl muttered, soft enough that only Honoka could hear.
The two sat on their chairs like that for what Maki thought was an eternity. She wanted it to be an eternity. Just the two of them, in the clubroom, acknowledging each others' presence. Just the two of them...
"I told you." they heard a new voice coming from the direction of the door.
At the door, which they didn't realize was already opened since God knows when, stood Umi and Kotori with the former's hands crossed and the latter's hands at her side. Kotori's eyes were void of emotion as she looked at Maki, contemplating murder.
Maki screamed internally. Some part of her scared of what would happen to her now that her two strongest contenders for Honoka's affection knew of her lingering feelings for the leader, and the other part of her slightly disappointed that her alone time with Honoka was ruined before she could maybe... touch her hand... Maki blushed a deep red at that. Who knew she could be so lewd?
"Heyo Umi-chan~ Kotori-chan~ Done with the paperwork?" Honoka greeted the two, not feeling the malice in the air between Umi and Maki.
Umi changed the target of her glare to Honoka.
The girl in question flinched.
"H- Hey, I did most of the work."
"And you didn't wait for us to finish, and instead you came here and begged your junior for food?"
"It was a fair trade!"
"And what did you trade it with?"
"I promised her I'd keep her company in town this weekend."
Umi returned her glare to Maki.
Maki glared back.
"Oh, then it would be okay if we were to accompany you as well this weekend, Maki?" Umi asked, though she called her name with as much malice as possible.
"Dear me, I would not like to impose you on your free day, Umi. Besides, I wanted Honoka's opinion on the bathing suit I was going to buy, therefore you, someone who lacks even the essence of fashion, would not be of much help."
Kotori released a breath as she calmed down. She then smiled. "If we're talking fashion, I'm sure I would be of assistance, Maki-chan!"
"Oh no, I wouldn't want to take your time with my silly requests, Kotori."
"No, I insist."
"No w-"
"I insist."
Maki flinched at the malice of the older girl's words, slightly backing as much as possible on her seat just in case the designer would pounce at her any minute. Thankfully, the girl didn't pounce at her but you can never be too sure. Gulping and trying to not scream out a terrified and girly scream, she looked to Honoka for support. The Leader herself was confused why Umi was gritting her teeth, why Kotori's smile looked just like those serial killers you see in movies, and why Maki was holding her hand in a desperate plea.
Some might say that Honoka was an idiot.
She's not just an idiot. She's an idiot who knew when to run away.
She was about to get up and run for the window to hop off of even though they were three storeys high, when a new voice was heard, indicating both Honoka and Maki's saviour have just arrived.
"Why are you two standing near the door?" Eli asked as she tried to enter the room, only to be stopped by the figures of the two. "And Maki's holding Honoka's hand? I thought you hated bodily contact." she commented yet again. After thinking for a few moments, Eli frowned. "Are you guys having fun without us?"
A chorus of thanks and worshipping words could be heard in Honoka and Maki's minds, thankful that their senior had arrived just in time. Eli may be the most popular and handsome one of the group, but she's also an idiot. The good thing about Eli was that she's the idiot with the greatest timing.
"Elicchi, you can't read the atmosphere at all, can you?" came Nozomi's voice from behind Eli.
"Hey, I resent that!" Eli voiced out, quite hurt by the accusation. After she looked at the four in the clubroom again, she realized things were pretty heated up before her arrival. "Was I not supposed to disturb you guys?" she asked.
The glare from Umi spoke volumes.
"I'll... leave the school and never come back. See you."
Before Eli could make her great escape, Nico pulled the girl by the collar (with great effort. Pulling someone almost ten centimetres taller than you is quite tiring). She dragged the girl and hauled her into the girl's seat, pushing Umi and Kotori to their seats along the way.
"Flee later. Meeting first." Nico commanded and sat on her seat, not minding the glares from Umi and the look of admiration from Honoka. Rin and Hanayo then came in moments later after Nozomi sat on her seat.
After checking that everyone was seated comfortably, ('Why is Maki holding Honoka's hand? How long have they held hands like that?') Nico started the agenda for today. But not before Umi pulled Honoka's hand from Maki's, separating the two and causing Maki to pout heavily.
"There's too many people in this group." Nico started.
The girls had a look of confusion on their faces, except for Maki and Nozomi. The former still pouting for not getting what she wanted and the latter, also pouting, but due to how she was the one who gathered up all nine members. There was a reason it was named Muse and not Nico's squad, and Nozomi won't be changing it any time soon.
"I thought there was some really popular girl group out there with hundreds of members." Honoka voiced out.
"Ah, like AK48 ~nya." Rin added.
"AK47?" Eli blinked, confused.
"AKB48, you mean." Hanayo corrected.
"What's AK47?" Kotori asked.
"It's a gun model, developed by the Soviet Union. From Russia." Eli explained.
"Onions!"
"No, Hanayo. Union." Umi corrected Hanayo.
"Rin doesn't really like onions ~nya." Rin added her own opinion. "She can eat it, but would rather not."
"I feel you." Honoka nodded. "Onion's my fifth least favourite food."
"And your least favourite food is red peppers." Nico chimed in.
"How did you know?!"
"Honoka-chan tells that to everybody ~nya." Rin chuckled.
"You've been saying that for months." Nico chuckled as well.
Most of the members realized that Honoka, Rin and Nico were leading the conversation. Everyone knew that if the three were to talk in the discussion, then their main topic would be lost as the three would talk about things unrelated to the topic. Moral of the story, don't let the three idiots lead the conversation. It was okay if it was only one of them, but put all three in the conversation, good luck getting their attention.
"Nicocchi, the topic?" Nozomi broke the trio's conversation.
Nico, having finally realized that she had strayed from the original topic, stopped the conversation with her two comrades. She coughed, trying to get their attention back to the main subject.
"What I was trying to say is-" Nico started and then looked at each and every one of the members. "I want everyone to get the publicity that they deserve, but it's impossible, considering how many of us are there. People would think of Muse as a whole and remembering each of our names would be a bother."
"Yes, Umi is such a difficult name to remember." Maki offered, her voice draped in sarcasm. She had stopped pouting and focused on the discussion at the moment.
"Are you hinting at something?" Umi glared at the first year, offended for no reason. She just felt offended somehow by the way Maki said her name.
"Keep your lover's quarrel to a minimum, ladies." said Nico.
Both Umi and Maki glared at their senior.
Nico gave zero fucks.
"Doesn't the AK47-"
"AKB48." everyone corrected the youngest member of the group, Rin. Everyone except Honoka and Nico. They didn't really know why people made such a big deal of a name. Even so, Rin didn't skip a beat.
"-have, like a hundred members and people still knew their names ~nya?" the first year asked.
"The majority of their fans only knew some of the girls." Nico explained. "The members that everyone knew were the top members. Even the group started to use subunits more frequently and even then, they managed to split the group into teams so that people could know them a little better."
"I suppose you do have a point there." Eli commented, impressed by Nico's observation. "What do you propose?"
"SOLO DEBUTS!" Nico exclaimed with a smile and slammed her fist on the table as she got up.
Everyone either gave a sympathizing look towards Nico or wore a blank expression. They all knew what Nico was trying to do, and none of them wanted to let Nico get the spotlight just because of her selfish reasons.
"Rejected." said Nozomi with a sigh.
"Nico-chan had a point until it was blatantly obvious what her intentions were." Kotori also sighed at her senior's sad attempt.
"What was the real reason you started to spout out this nonsense?" Umi asked the shortest third year.
"Well..." Nico started, closing her eyes as she recalled the memory. "I was testing out my theory and asked random people on the streets what they think of Muse. Since we won Love Live!, then it was possible that a lot of people knew about us. My deduction was spot on, and a lot of people said they were fans of us." Nico told the others.
"That's good to know!" Honoka exclaimed with a smile.
Nico glared at the ginger.
"W- what is it?" the leader asked, confused as to why Nico was glaring at her all of a sudden. Was it something she said?
"Most of the people I asked only knew the names of you," Nico pointed at Honoka. "you, and you!" she then pointed at Eli and Maki respectively. "Only one person knew my name and I cried so much and hugged her so tightly that she got confused!"
"You're a really sad human being." Maki looked at Nico with pity.
"Honoka-chan is our leader and usual Center so it's no mystery that she's the one people remembered." Hanayo explained. "Plus, Eli-chan and Maki-chan are very popular with the female and male fans, respectively. Not to mention if Honoka's not the Center, it would be either of them to take the spot."
Honoka thought for a moment the information she received from Hanayo.
"Wait." Honoka brought the attention of the others to her. "When did I become the Leader and Center?"
The members either sighed or brought a palm to their foreheads after the ginger asked the question. Nico practically glared at the younger girl. Sure, they have hinted some times that Honoka was the Leader of Muse, but they haven't really said it out loud. And Honoka practically stands in the middle during songs and how did she not know that?
"You dense motherf-"
"Well, the Leader was decided in a mental vote," Nozomi cut off Nico just in time. "And as for the Center, since Umicchi wrote the songs, then it's no mystery that she puts you in the Center, to get in your pants, Honocchi."
"S- Shut up!" Umi voiced out, her cheeks reddened.
Honoka titled her head in confusion. "Why would she want my pants?"
"Well, it's not really the pants that she's after, but the thing under-"
Before Nozomi could finish the sentence, she was assaulted by a book in the face, thrown by none other than Umi herself. Umi would have usually used something heavier; like a bucket, if it weren't for the fact that Nozomi was her senior. She would use that in case of Nico, though.
"I'm not really getting it." Honoka pouted.
"Me neither." agreed Maki.
"Does Umi have a thing for pants?" questioned Eli.
"You innocent, innocent fools." Nico shook her head in disbelief.
"It's alright, Honoka-chan! You'll find out soon enough!" Kotori assured her best friend.
"Rin thinks Honoka-chan is dense at times ~nya."
Hanayo sighed.
"You're one to talk." Nozomi had that really, really nasty grin on her face.
"Nya?"
"Moving on!" Umi got up from her seat. "I think Nico had a point there."
"She did?" asked Kotori in disbelief.
"I did?" asked Nico in disbelief.
"Of course, we won't use the useless idea of putting Nico in a solo-"
"Excuse you."
"-but, I think we can use this." Umi walked to the white board and grabbed a marker. She wrote μ's at the top and then added branches from it. "I propose we split the group into three teams; or subunits, in a more... idol-y tone."
Eli seemed to consider it for a moment.
"And what good will it do?" she questioned.
"Lots." Umi smiled. She then elaborated, "First of all, we could put the more popular members in separate teams, and one way or another, the fans would come to learn more of the other girls instead of just you three."
"Not guaranteed." Hanayo commented.
"Still has a higher chance of making them remember individual members instead of all nine of us singing and dancing and confusing them." Nozomi agreed with the lyricist.
"Exactly." Umi thanked Nozomi from the bottom of her heart. "And we get to conserve our energy during lives. If we had to play nine songs, then we'd put four or five of the songs as sub-unit songs, therefore letting the members not performing in other sub-units, rest." Umi then looked at Honoka. "We don't want one of us to faint on stage again."
"That's a low-blow!"
"An accurate low-blow." Maki added.
Honoka pouted.
"I think that's a really good idea, don't you agree Elicchi?" Nozomi asked her best friend.
"I suppose... But that would make loads more work to you, Umi. And Kotori and Maki as well."
"If I have the lyrics, I can compose."
"It doesn't really matter to me since the designs would change, but the number of clothing wouldn't. So I'm fine."
"And I was thinking that you could write the lyrics yourselves. To make each unit more unique." Umi explained.
"... Did you just-"
"I think that's a sound idea." Nico agreed with the girl's plan, interrupting Maki.
"Yeah. It would make things a lot more interesting!" Hanayo chimed in.
"All in favour of Umi's idea, say Muse!" Honoka raised her hand.
Everyone chorused with the ginger, all hands raised.
"Then that settles it." Honoka gave a thumbs up to Umi. "Great idea, Umi-chan!"
"... Thanks." whispered Umi, a blush on her cheeks.
"What about the Team placements ~nya?"
"Oh..." Umi said, although she had already expected the question. "Since, we have three teams for us nine members, and we have three first, second and third years, then why not place the teams by year? First years in one team, second years in another, et cetera."
"No objections here." Kotori was the first to speak up.
Maki glared at the lyricist, already figuring out what the girl was trying to do. Umi was trying to set up Honoka with herself, separating Maki from her beloved senior. She would not let that happen.
"In my opinion, putting all three popular members in one team is more beneficial. Since the three members are all in one team, remembering the other members would be easier." Maki voiced out her opinion to her senior.
It was like that for a few seconds. Maki, sitting on her chair with arms crossed, glaring at Umi, and Umi, standing and glaring at the younger girl. An uncomfortable silence dragged out where the only noise that could be heard was the other students practising sports or music.
Thus, it was all up to Honoka as the Leader (she still doesn't get why people call her that) to stop the fighting and offer her own opinion.
"How about a lottery?" the ginger offered to the others. "Sometimes leaving things up to fate is the greatest choice, isn't that right Nozomi-chan?" the girl asked the older girl for support.
Nozomi chuckled. "Sometimes it really is. I agree with Honocchi." she smiled at the leader and one could see how thankful Honoka was by the smile on her face.
"... Fine." Umi went to her seat and sat, making sure to glare at Maki at times.
"I don't really care." Maki closed her eyes, leaving things up to fate.
"Then, I guess we're having a lottery." Eli stood up to get everything ready. As she passed by Nozomi, she whispered to the girl. "Do you really think this is the right choice?"
Nozomi snorted. She pulled a card from her deck and smiled, "What's the worst that could happen?"
Eli then smiled and left the room.
It was only moments later than Nozomi looked at the card she pulled, and her face distorted into fear.
"I have doomed us all..."
The card on her hand was named The Tower.
The symbol of chaos.
. . .
[Fate's Deadly Hands END]
A/N: Hello, brethren! It is I, [Whatever my current name is] here to bring you a story about love, friendship, and just stupid things. So, I was scrolling tumblr, searching for Honoka posts (because she's my bias, and she's a God) and I stumbled upon a really really cute Idiot Trio pic, and I just had to write something about the Trio!
Though if I were to be completely honest, the story centres around Honoka as she tries to help the other Two musketeers with their problems. She'll help Nico and Rin with their relationships as her own relationship moves on its own without her realizing it. First, HonoNico will help Rin, then HonoRin will help Nico! And finally, RinNico will make Honoka happy.
As you can guess, the main pairing is really obvious. Kotori, Umi and Maki has a thing for Honoka and Honoka's an idiot. As for the other pairings, it's also really obvious so I don't really need to point it out. This story will have, 5 or 6 chapters. Something along those lines.
May we see each other in the near future. Adiós! *flies away*