This is my first NCIS fanfiction, I'm french and I really tried to do my best but I guess there is some mistakes left ^^

I don't own anything

Blue and thick... The appearance of light or sound... You feel so at ease, so pure and light. As if the wheight of life was non existent in here. I finally get the buble I wanted so hard, a buble where I could cut myself from reality, keep it at bay, where I could breath just for a minute or two.

Peace, I can't hear a sound from the outside world, I can't see a thing from this world. I only see my hairs all around my head and I hear the beating of my heart. I am in an acute awareness of myself. I haven't been for so long... God I want to breath in, I feel so good.

I didn't need air, I just needed this. Air is everywhere around us each day of our life, we breath it in and out, mechanically, still we keep begging the others to leave us alone so we can breath. But when there is nothing left to breath in, when you're not allowed anymore to breath in the scent that is air for you, it feels as if you were suffocating, as if you were deprived of a primal need.

Then you realize that it will never come back to you, that no matter how hard you want it, you will never breath in his scent, my drug, my air. My air is soiled with the scent of the other one, the one who is breathing in my air and who is slowly depriving me from what I used to think was mine.

It's so quiet in here... Slowly I move my arm and I listen to the sound it produces. I felt cold at first but now it's fine. Actually, I have never felt so warm for a long time. The world is so cold, he is cold... his eyes are, as cold as ice. Once upon a time he used to look at me with dark blue eyes, a blue that has always made me feel warm. That's why I'm here. It was so blue and I felt so cold that I just wanted to get warm. I thought that maybe I would feel just like when he looked at me with those dark blue eyes of his. I just wanted to get lost in this blue. And there I have found myself again.

It's ok now, I found my place. This blue world feels just like home. I am surrounded by this blue, the exact same shade of his loving eyes. I feel good, I never want to go back anymore, I don't want to meet his hard and icy eyes ever again...

This blue is becoming darker and darker by the minutes... I feel at ease, so pure and light...

Jen...What happened... She said she wanted some fresh air... Jen...Why did you do that Jenny...

I just wanted to breath