Once, there was a time when seeing the Cullens walking to their isolated table in the Forks High cafeteria would have set me aflutter, trying to hide myself at the same time I was trying to catch that bronze haired boy's eye. Now, however, I watched them come towards me, at their table, and I steeled myself to do what I absolutely know I have to. This had gone on long enough.
Edward sat on one side of me, Alice on the other, and suddenly I was aware of the cage they presented, and my inability to run away. Even if I tried, they would be able to drag me back in the blink of an eye, and all the other kids in the cafeteria would convince themselves they had been hallucinating.
This was what they did to people. They trapped them, and confused them, and refused to accept any decision other than the ones they made for people.
I took a deep breath, ready to start on my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, but he beat me to the punch. I'd never been happier that he can't read my mind, but I wished he would realize when I wanted to speak.
"How have you been, Bella love?" he asked, putting an arm around my shoulder and placing my food in front of me. He insisted on being a servant to me. Just one of the reasons I was dumping him.
How have I been during the five minutes since you left me to sit at this table by myself, like a defenseless damsel? I thought darkly. "Fine," I said out loud, picking up a fork and poking at my food. Eating now would not be a good idea. I'd be too tempted to spit it out in his face.
"I'm very happy to hear that," he murmured, and I cringed inwardly at his perfect voice. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect house, perfect family, perfect cars, perfect money. Love was not supposed to be perfect. Although, I supposed, this wasn't exactly love.
Jacob had shown me. I wasn't about to give up my best friend just because a boy who thought he loved me told me I had to. I had driven to La Push, giving Charlie some excuse about staying late for work that he would hopefully give to Edward. I was tense until I crossed the border line, and then I relaxed, keeping an eye out for a wolf running in the forest by the road. I knew he would be there. He'd promised, and Jake never broke a promise.
When we got to his house, I waited to get out of the truck until he showed up on the porch, fully clothed. Staring at him, I realized exactly what it was I had done to him these last few months. I remembered the heat of his lips reaching down to mine, interrupted by the harsh ringing of the telephone. Edward had to mar everything that would bring me happiness, sometimes without even realizing it.
He stared at me from the porch, waiting for me, and I saw something in his eyes – he was still angry that I had gone with Edward. I knew I couldn't explain my decision – my deception – to him, but I could do one thing that would make him see how much he meant to me, and what I was absolutely prepared to do for him.
I opened the door, running in the rain to him, throwing my arms around him and kissing him as soundly and as violently as I could on the mouth. I had never been kissed like this before, and I couldn't be entirely sure I was doing it right, but he reacted as I'd hoped he would. He held me even more tightly than I held him, moving his mouth across mine, and I was sure I would do anything he wanted me to do in that moment.
"Do you still want to be a vampire?" he mumbled against my mouth, although I'm sure he knew what my answer was going to be.
"I'd rather die," I said, as vehemently as I could manage while still kissing him.
"Bella, is there something wrong?" that awful voice inquired of me, and I jerked back to the cafeteria. I had to do this. My Jacob was waiting for me.
"Yes, there's something wrong," I growled, standing up and moving away from the two vampires. I watched with an ugly glee as Edward Cullen's face registered shock – the most emotion I could remember him showing in front of me. "You're a slimy, despicable bastard who's tried to buy me with fancy cars and perfect siblings and the threat of danger and the promise of safety. I am not a damsel in distress, Edward Cullen."
"What are you saying?" he asked, his face slack, his mouth open in a perfect O. Damn that monster.
"I'm saying I'm dumping you, Edward Cullen" – perfect name – "and I never want to see your vampire angel face again in my life," I bit out, turning for the doors, ignoring the people staring at us and the fact that I had left my bag under the table.
Before I could blink he was in front of me. "Alice," he growled, glancing behind me at his sister, "why didn't you see this?"
I waited for it to come, and readied myself to run as fast as I could from him. I wasn't going to take any more of this.
"Werewolves," she breathed, and suddenly there was an iron grasp on my forearm. If I yanked my arm away now, he would take it with him. But he wouldn't want to harm me – I knew enough about him that his sentimental side wouldn't let him hurt me – and yanked anyway. The minute his hand was off me, I ran for the parking lot.
Jacob was there, his bike ready to go. I climbed in front, facing him on the seat, and, with one last glance at Edward Cullen, kissed Jacob as passionately as I could. We stayed like that for minutes, without stopping to come up for breath, and when I was done, I climbed onto the back.
"Ready?" Jake yelled back at me.
"Let's get the hell out of here," I yelled back, and as we sped away, I looked back over my shoulder.
Edward Cullen stood staring after us, the entire school standing behind him, and he looked devastated.
He wouldn't be coming after us.