KudoEdogawa presents...

~Feelings...

=This fic will contain a series of one-shots based on each character's feelings in first person. If you would like to request a character's feeling be done, feel free to do so. The more important characters come later, and requests come after I have finished all that I have planned to do. This is the first of fifteen characters. Detective Conan and its related characters are copyrights of Gosho Aoyama.=

Of Kogoro

"For the last time, I don't need your help! I'm managing well on my own, thank you!" I roared at the receiver and hung up furiously. That was a lie, I know.

I admit, I'm thankful that Ran had purposely set up so many situations so that I could talk to Eri, and I know that I need her back at my side. It's been so long since she left, I'm actually eager to taste some more of her inedible cooking. She knows that, too, I think..., I hope. But one thing for sure that she must know: Ran needs us.

Ran is growing, faster than either of us had thought. Soon she'd be off on her way to college... to later stages of life... without having a proper family. I never knew that I'd have this thought but... I hope the detective brat could give her a better life than I did...

I walked to the large, glassy window behind me, staring into the night, and having my own reflection stare into me. Boy, how I have changed! Back when I was a police, I was respected, intelligent, and handsome. Now I look like a helpless old man whose life have been dominated by drinking, smoking, and staring a pretty ladies all day long, I've even grown a mustache! Time goes fast indeed.

The pounding of water hitting glass doors had stopped; Ran has finished showering. I sat back down at my desk, pretending that nothing had happened. Ran entered the living room a moment later, drying her hair with a yellow towel given to her a few years ago by Eri.

"Who was it, Dad?" She asked casually.

"No one," I lied.

Ran rested one hand on her waist, "It was Mom, wasn't it?" She queried. "You two argued again, didn't you?"

I made to reply and turned on the TV.

"I knew it," she sighed. "Can't the two of you ever grow up?" She stormed back into her room and her stereo could be heard loudly. Usually, I would tell her lower the volume, but this time I didn't do so, I had no right to tell her what to do..., she was right; I should grow up. Sometimes it feels to me that she's way more mature than I am. Poundings of water on glass resumed, this time, not of shower, but of the rain that had started outside.

I got up and shut the window, remaining motionless for a while just listening to the rain, letting the sound lull my mind, letting the cold freeze my soul. I shut my eyes and let my tears fall; it had been a long time since I had cried..., I've almost forgotten how good it feels to let go of your emotions.

I miss Eri.

My heart has been repeating that over and over and over for many years, however, my pride had influenced my mind and made me deny it. I sat back down, staring blankly into space, not knowing when I had fallen asleep and knocked over the coffee mug, not knowing when Ran had came out and cleaned up the mess for me and dragged me back into my room...

. . .

It was Officer Megure's anniversary, I was invited to dinner at Beika hotel, Hattori-san and his family were there as well. I was traveling through the crowd of people, saying hello and chatting to everyone. Ran was in an unusually good mood, I had wondered about this..., but I had already half-guessed the answer. Sure enough, half way through the celebration I saw her amidst the crowd. We caught each other's eyes, Ran beamed, but to her great disappointment, we walked past each other without a word, ignoring each other's existence.

"Mom!" Ran cried at her mother's exiting figure. "Dad, why didn't you...grr!" Without another word, she dashed off to Eri. In the distant, I could hear voices of persuasion and Eri's replies of "He doesn't need me, I wouldn't need him either."

I did not see Eri for the rest of the feast. Now that I looked back on it, how I wished I had seized the chances Ran provided with us. How I wished I had grasped her wrist right then and told her that I needed her back at my side.

Today is our anniversary..., Ran has gone to visit Sonoko in Kyoto and Conan was at Agasa Hakase's house, I think I'll be going for a walk.

Mouri Kogoro
December 12, 2003

***

Kogoro closed the book in which he was writing in and locked it in his drawers. He took one deep sigh and got off his seat, and stared idly at the wedding ring on his finger. He left the agency and took a short walk to the nearby park. A flutter of wind passed by and several pieces of paper were blown in front of him. He bent down and picked it up.

Footsteps were approaching, "Sorry, can you get those for me?" Came the voice of a woman.

Kogoro stood back up, handing the papers into the woman's hand, and noticed the bright wedding ring on her finger. He looked up at the woman and she looked at him, both faces filled with sadness.

"Eri......"

-End-

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I don't know, I might right a sequel for this just to continue on the stories, but for now, that is all. Which characters would you like to read about next? Review and request!!