Hello! So I definitely got mad and planned a multi-chapter story :)
Your reaction to this first chapter will decide if I keep it or not.
BTW: The parts in italics aren't Thor's memories but... well, just mentions of the past.
Thor woke up evolved in a slight scent of chamomile. He inhaled the air greedily burying his nose in the dark flocks of the one lying by his side and wrapped his hands around the naked body. His brother smiled in his dreams, teenage face enlightened by the morning sun. He slowly opened the emerald-green eyes and yawned with delicacy, smirking at the golden god sharing his bed.
-Good morning, brother.
Thor would always remember that as one of the happiest moments of his life.
The throne hall was silent and empty, very empty. With the exception of two single figures, of course. Odin sat on his stunning throne and glanced down at his lost son, pain and guilt forming a limb on his old throat. He had no strength nor will to endure Loki's harsh words so he didn't remove the gag from his mouth. But the look that the dark god was sending to his foster father was enough to make the elder feel completely defeated.
When did he fail so badly as a parent? Was it when he let his little boy to surround himself by dark magic? When he unconsciously started to pay more attention to Thor? Or did he choose the wrong words to tell his precious child about his true parentage? Parentage... blood... race. They mattered nothing when you had calmed every cry break, when you banished every nightmare with improvised stories, when you lifted the little kid in your arms and felt his warmth and joy trough your tired bones or when you saw him taking his first steps towards you... What had blood to do with the constant pride he felt for his younger son's brilliant grades and his sharp intelligence? Oh! If he just had shown it more, if he just petted his raven head from time to time to tell him he was doing it great. And yet he never did it. He just keep it to himself, he let Loki to get lost in his elder brother's shadow, to sink into darkness and distress. To sink into darkness. His poor boy literally sank into the darkness of the universe. And he, Odin the Allfather, did nothing to avoid it. Too frightened to move or to think clearly, horrified by the image of his child hanging over the Nothing, he couldn't even say the words Loki needed to hear "I love you, my son. Please, hold on" What kind of king was he if he wasn't even able to assure the wellbeing of those he loved the most?
Finally he rose from his throne and went down the stairs to stand face to face with the fallen god. Loki stood tall, never retreating, nor broking the eye-contact. Deadly injured and yet so firm. Even in those moments Odin felt a sparkle of pride he buried inside of his heart. Loki was no longer a solution to anything. He was a problem.
-My dear son, you've become a threat to the nine reams.
Loki rolled his eyes for reasons only he knew. And his father let out a long breath before continuing.
-You have almost destroyed an entire race, let the enemies of Asgard penetrate it's walls, murdered the Jotun king itself, - "He did it for you" Screamed a voice in his head – tried to kill your own brother, and for the last but most important, attempted to conquer the Earth.
He sighted.
- For all those crimes your evil nature should be erased from the face of the world.
With those heavy words he opened the door and ordered a guard to take Loki back to his cell, letting Thor and Frigga in. It was time to inform his family about that hard decision.
Loki let himself to be crawled through the halls of Asgard, fortunately almost desert in those hours of the day. He could feel the change in the air when the skies turned dark under Thor's rage, and almost heard Frigga yelling to her husband. Fools all of them.
Death penalty.
He wasn't prepared for that, he expected eternal prison, torture, banishment... but not death. Maybe deep inside he still rely on this love his foster father claimed to have for him. Maybe Loki was the fool then. He could have fighted and tried to escape, but for what? The chitauri were against him, all the nine realms feared the "mad prince", the Fields of Wild were too obvious, and the perspective of passing the rest of his life hiding wasn't attractive at all. In another occasion the thirst for revenge would feed Loki's spirits, but right then he was just tired. Tired from everything, his bones ached after the Green Beast smashed him into the floor like a girl's doll and after the fucking journey through words. The dark god inhaled and exhaled deeply, ignoring the looks that were sent towards him. He just wanted to rest.
Though, the luck wasn't on his side that day. A few minutes after he was delivered to his retention cell Frigga came too and embraced his neck with shaking arms and watered eyes.
-My boy...
Loki shook his head, trying to make her understand he didn't want to see anyone. But she wouldn't give up. She never gave up on her children, so she placed a hand on his gag and played her subtle magic to remove it, kissing him on the jaw, then on the temple, and finally picking his nose with her gentle lips.
-Everything will be fine, honey, you are going to be ok.
Loki averted his eyes in view of her shameless lies.
-Of course, I'm just about to pay an everlasting visit to Hel. – He whispered through teeth.
His mother smiled.
-Don't be so pessimistic, my dear. And I'm sure she misses you.
-We both know as a father I'm even worse of a failure than Odin. – That was true; he wasn't close to any of his children, much to Angrboda's pleasure.
-That's not true. Sleipnir loves you
-Well, I wasn't exactly a "father" to him. – he laughed bitterly. Here, one being he would truly miss.
-Oh, Loki...
-Leave me, mother. I want to rest.
She nodded and kissed him for the last time. Her trembling lips against his forehead...
-All will be fine. Trust me, son.
He turned towards the wall, swallowing his last words; "Tell Sleipnir I love him too"
Odin stepped into the open-sky fields; the tall grass was tortured by the wind and heavy rain. Violent storms were blowing Asgard as a mirror of Thor's internal conflicts and pain.
However, his whistle overcome the thunder and flied through the nine realms like a magic arrow.
And his steed was there in less than a blinking. No matter how far he would go, when the Allfather called him Sleipnir was by his side in a matter of seconds.
But this time the king didn't need a ride through the battlefield, but just company. He stoke the horse's mane with a slight smirk.
-I lose a son and all my family does is to stand against me. How I am supposed to rule a kingdom when my own roof is collapsing? – But the stallion made no sign of understanding him - Are you also angry with me now?
Sleipnir twisted his head in order to avoid Odin to look in his big, dark eyes.
-When you all will understand this is for the best?
Thor entered Loki's cell and found him sleeping on the floor, facing the wall. The golden god leaned over the pale man and placed a kiss on his temple, getting lost for a moment in the slight scent of camomile irradiating from his soft messy hair.
-Brother...
-Fuck off, Thor. - Loki opened his green eyes glancing to the other with evident anger.
- I wasn't aware you were awake – he turned Loki on his back bending over his little brother. – Are you ready? For tomorrow I mean...
-Are you?
The soon-to-be-king said nothing for a couple of minutes. They just remained as that, silent, looking into each other's eyes.
-You know – Thor's voice sounded old and defeated in the quiet of the prison – You destroyed hundreds of lives, threatened me and my friends, murdered half of an entire race, and still I'm not able to bring myself to hate you.
-Because you're a sentimental fool.
-Or because I love you, brother.
-I'm not your brother.
- You are the only one who says so, and you're a natural liar, Loki.
With those words he leaned down and kissed Loki's lips, the first kiss they shared in a lot of time and maybe the last one.
That time there were four of them in the Throne Hall. The allfather himself, his wife, and both their beloved sons. Thor was grumpy as hell and Frigga crying on his shoulder. A painful scene. Thought, soon it was going to change. With a heavy heart he rose from his seat, grabbed Gungnir and lifted it sending Loki one last look. He could feel his fear and insecurity, as well as stubbornness and hate. But this was going to change too.
-I, Odin Allfather – the spear started to fall – condemn you, Loki...
Boum
-... TO START OVER
...
Loki arched his neck with a deep moaning. The feeling of Thor inside him, those gentle hands all over his body... He could almost sense the heaven right there, and when he reached it he cried his brother's name as if it were a sacred word on his lips.
After a couple of last strokes the other god collapsed on top of him with a satisfied groan and buried his face in the jet black hair while kissing tenderly his ear.
-Brother...
-Yes, my love?
-Why do you always smell of chamomile?
Thor opened his eyes, trying to turn his face from the hurting greyish light that was lazily invading his chamber. Another day of drizzle and cold winds through Asgard, at this rate the prince didn't knew if the bad weather was the cause of his bad mood or his bad mood was the cause of the bad weather. And to be sincere, hi didn't care. Every morning he woke up with the sensation that something was wrong, that there were something missing. His friends, as faithful and understandable as always, tried to cheer him up with spares and mead but even though it worked at the beginning now it felt useless. And the Allfather was gone.
It's been almost a month by now. One day, like any other one, Thor woke up with a heavy heart and his mother informed him that Odin parted at the crack of dawn. "In a search, dear wife" he said kissing her for the last time. But past three weeks he hadn't returned yet and his dear son Thor, the only heir to the throne since always, had to take care of his duties and fight that weird feeling of emptiness inside him.
So today was going to be another boring day of reading letters, signing documents and meeting the council, then making sure his own responsibilities are properly taken care of and spending some time with Frigga, who has been feeling down lately as well.
And so he was having a quick breakfast when a hot-headed guard rushed into the dining hall with wonderful news.
-The King is back, your hightness!
Thor forgot his buttered bread and ran outside, to the main entry, where he could see the mighty figure of his father approaching slowly, mounted in his eight-legged horse he looked tired but satisfied, and only after greeting him properly Thor noticed that the Allfether wasn't alone.
A small figure was curled against his chest. When the king dismounted and placed it on its feet before the Golden God he could see it was just a little girl with dirty, black hair. But then the creature raised her gaze.
And Thor got immediately lost in a pair of deep, green eyes.
-Listen well, son. From this very moment, this child is under my protection. She will live with us, eat from our table and I expect everyone, especially you, to treat her as a rightful part of our family. – Odin exchanged a subtle glance with his stallion – Her name is Loki.
Thor thought he could smell chamomile.
Sooo... What do you think?
I would really like to know if you consider this a good idea to go on with :)
PS: Do someone have an extra AO3 invitation? I'm desperate for an account there! Please!
PS2: I really need a Beta-reader, because English is not my native language and I would prefer to be sure that my stories are not full of grammar mistakes.