I've never been one to put my comfort before others. In fact, I realize now that I hardly ever thought about my comfort over the course of the seven years it took to get us where we were. That's something Bro taught me though- that if you're satisfied with how things are, then you've got nowhere else to go and nothing to strive for. Those who knew of me probably thought that it wasn't in my character to despair. Those who knew me knew otherwise. It wasn't that I didn't ache and feel sorrow- it was that I chose not to let that consume me.
My views started to change when I was a child and never stopped. I think I'm grateful for that. If I hadn't been able to change, I don't know if I could have accepted him as my new partner and co-pilot. It wasn't in me to hate innocent beastmen, but Viral? What Viral was put him as being the worst surviving thing next to Lordgenome himself. Being sentenced and locked away side-by-side with him made me see things differently too.
Waiting on the end of the world wasn't easy- but then again, we were Team Dai-Gurren, and we didn't wait. It was in our nature to rise up to meet our fate and then take it into our own hands. And maybe that was what we were doing. What I was doing as I headed back with Viral. There was a lot on my mind- the way Nia had been appearing to me not the least of my worries. What was on my mind now though was something that I hadn't really thought of before.
Viral was a beastman. That much wasn't a question. But it surprised me how graceful he could be. Walking in front of me, it seemed like he moved on his toes rather than with his feet flat- his hips swaying fluidly with each movement. Viral was thin, probably something like 'beautiful' too- but I wasn't very sure what that word really meant. I was pretty sure that he was aware of me watching him. He stopped in the hallway that was the residential living quarters for most of us. Didn't turn to face me. Just stopped.
"What are you doing, Simon?" His tone was vaguely exasperated.
"Huh. What?" I stopped abruptly too, still staring at him.
"Your room is in the opposite direction. Down the hall." Viral continued as though coddling someone who wasn't very bright.
My lips parted as though I was going to speak and then… I stopped. He was right. I didn't even realize I had followed him this far.
"I guess my mind was wandering." Was my only defense, and then those cat like eyes were on me as Viral turned around- his arms crossed.
"Not exactly what your mind should be doing, fearless leader," It was reproachful but… Gentle somehow. Viral could do that with his tone- don't ask me how. "What are you? Lonely? Why don't you go follow the other Dai-Gurren… … people."
I shrugged. "You're Dai-Gurren people now, Viral." Why the hell was I even arguing this point? It was moments like that when I wondered if impulse wasn't always the best guide.
"Tch. I guess I am. What do you want then, Simon- sorry- Commander?" He asked. There was a bit of a playful sneer in the self correction.
"I… Don't know." Was my response. I really didn't . "I was just watching you." Well. That was awkward.
Viral seemed to think so too. He raised an eyebrow and folded his arms over his chest.
"Why?"
"I don't know." I repeated. Well- it was true. "Hey- Viral." Impulse to the rescue, this time.
"Yeah?" He asked, that defiant look still on his face.
"You're my co-pilot now. So uh…" Crap- crap! What was I trying to say? At this point, I was mostly just covering my ass. And even then, I had no idea what I was so flustered by. "What's the big deal if I wanna hang around?" Good save Simon- good save.
Viral seemed thoughtful, his gaze distant. After a few long moments, he finally just shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess." I smiled- instantly relieved.
I was already long gone. The city's outskirts were several hours behind me- the noise fading into quiet when I first realized that someone was following me. I had partly suspected it, but my heart ached too much to care. I wasn't giving up. I just needed to get away. There were memories of her everywhere, and even days later, I just couldn't justify it anymore. I'd leave it to the new generation, and had begun to expect myself to quietly fade from the peripheral. I had set up camp against a cliff face, and somehow it felt a little like the old days.
It was then that I felt that presence lingering even closer- daring me to notice and call out. Or perhaps asking permission to approach. I stirred at the coals of my fire and didn't look up from it.
"What do you want?" I really should have expected it when he came slinking out from the shadows, cat like eyes focused on me- and it made me feel uneasy, as though I were prey.
"What's the big deal if I wanna hang around?" Came his voice with that purr like quality that only Viral's voice could hold.
"I left for a reason, Viral. Go back to Kamina city. That's an order."
"You're not my Commander anymore, Simon." Was his response- guarded but not nasty. What was this? Did he have some unfinished business with me? I shifted under my long coat and frowned.
"I know." I responded after a while.
"So don't try to tell me what to do, monkey." Somehow, he made the insult sound like a fond pet name. I sighed.
"I'm leaving everything to you, understand?" Viral crossed the clearing and dropped down into the dirt beside me. He crossed his broad forearms over his chest and scowled.
"Simon. Everything and everyone I know is going to die. That's true for everyone, human and beastman alike. The difference for me is that I'll still be here when it happens," He started. It wasn't normal to hear Viral talk so much or so pointedly at once. "You think I want to take your place and call you dead before your time?"
I didn't show the inner conflict on my expression, and just stared into the crackling flames.
"You have to. My last order." Because I was okay with being a living dead man. My love was gone, the wars were over. It was my turn to rest.
"Isn't that cute… You think I'm going to just do what you tell me to?' It sounded like an amused bit of rhetoric and made me scowl.
"Viral, I'm not in the mood."
"Since when are you not in the mood? Where'd those balls go, Simon the digger- the supreme commander?" Suddenly, Viral was advancing on me like a cat stalking prey. He was moving towards me from that crouched position and I could all but sense his muscles tensed and ready to spring.
"Viral- what-"
"If this is all you are, then maybe I should treat you like what you've made yourself:" Those claws shot out faster than I could see and wrenched in my hair. "A bitch."
What the- I could only stare stupidly, my eyes wide and lips parted slightly. Viral could be nasty, but he'd never been like that. Not to me. I think it hurt my pride more than it hurt anything else. What happened next left me utterly unable to respond. I'd fought countless battles in Lagann, but facing him like this wasn't something I'd ever anticipated.
Viral shoved me over, and I wrestled weakly against his superior strength. Maybe I really had given up, if I couldn't beat him. It was only a few moments before he'd pressed me face down into the dirt, his claws braced against the dry, cracked ground.
"Is this what you expect from me? I'm nothing but a beast, right? But you taught me something different. Was that all a lie?"
"I've never lied to you!" I bit back, honestly a little offended. And then Viral flipped me onto my back, those big, uncertain eyes full of tears that I hadn't ever expected. He reached down and gathered me into his arms. I felt a little like a doll in his impossibly strong grip, and I couldn't lie. It felt nice to be pressed against someone else's warmth.
"Don't leave." His voice was strained.
"I can't stay." My tone was firm.
Viral whimpered and didn't let go. I nuzzled closer and closed my eyes. It was fine to stay like that. I didn't want him to be upset.
We both knew that our worlds had changed forever, but I couldn't bring myself to send him away. I let him stay, even as I curled up and wanted to sleep. We sat in silence, and he held me against him as I started to doze off- untiring and unwavering. I didn't want anything else. Even the desert seemed less lonely this way, and maybe I could be happy in some way if I knew he'd always find me.