Welcome to whole new breed of insanity, dear reader!

Please Read: This fic is heavily AU. Lucas hasn't met Skye yet, or done anything regarding destroying the portal. There is no Phoenix Group, and Wash hasn't been shot. This fic will include most shippings, but will probably end up being centered around Lucas/Skye and Mark/Maddy, but I'm not sure yet! I'm working with multiple main characters but since Skye is such a big shipping character, this will probably by mostly from her point of view. It is a crack fic, so its gonna be CAH-RAYZEEE. Okay, not that crazy, but hopefully you guys will find it as hilarious as I do when I'm imagining some of these scenes in my head. (well, those scenes will actually come later but hey) Be sure to read and review if you like it! :D

Enjoy!

The sun gleamed over Terra Nova's farming district, sending golden rays glittering on the bright green plant life. Rovers dotted the crop fields as the afternoon's work came to a close, most of which were stuffed with crates full of the day's harvest. The air was humid and stifling, just like any other day in the colony.

"You know what today it is?" Josh asked as he heaved a crate full of corn onto the back of a rover.

Skye laughed lightly, wiping the sweat from her brow. "No, Josh, enlighten me." She cracked a sarcastic smile, grabbing another crate of corn and passing to him.

"Today," Josh grabbed the crate with a smile, "Is Valentine's Day."

"In 2149." Skye corrected him.

Josh rolled his eyes, "Oh come on. Its not like the colony hasn't been planning the ball for weeks."

"That's exactly why I don't want to go. When you call it a "ball" it sounds like those cheesy proms from the early two thousands. No thank you." Skye's eyebrows rose.

"Skye!" Josh groaned, "Its not going to be a date. I mean you might as well go with me, who else are you going to go with? Hunter?" He grinned as Skye playfully punched his arm.

"Not funny," She put her hands on her hips in mock annoyance. "What makes you think I would even go with you anyway?" She cocked an eyebrow.

Josh threw up his hands, "Sorry, didn't realize you wanted to go with Hunter."

"Shut up," Skye groaned, hopping into the passenger seat of the rover.

"I'll take that as a yes then?" Josh smiled, jumping in and turning on the engine.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?"

Josh laughed, "I'll pick you up at, say, six?"

She groaned, and pressed her head against the frame of the rover. "Do we have to go to the dinner too?"

"It's called a banquet," He looked over at her with a sly smirk. So yes, they were going to the dinner, banquet, whatever. Skye shook her head. She didn't particularly want to go to some couples dance with her closest guy friend, but it was better than having an awkward time with Hunter. Ever since the hospital incident Hunter had kind of avoided her, but that was impossible when you lived with the person you were trying to ignore. So they had a friendship again, but she wasn't entirely sure he'd dropped the whole "feelings" thing. At least with Josh they'd already established that they were just good friends. Sometimes it edged into a little flirting or whatever, but they both knew that a relationship wasn't happening, at least in the near future, which was more than she could say for her roommate.

"I don't understand I'm picking flowers for this ball." Maddy Shannon was bent over a thicket of white blooms, plucking the biggest ones she could find. The sun was baking and she had to get ready for the dance soon.

"We can't have a ball without decorations, can we?" Elisabeth stuffed another bud into her collection basket that was brimming with a rainbow of petals. Zoey was tagging along on their mother's little "walk" which had turned into a chore before Maddy could think of a way out.

"No, but can't the guys do it? All they have to do is take a shower and put on a nice shirt. I have to put on my makeup, put on my dress—"

"Since when are you putting on makeup and wearing dresses?" Elisabeth cocked an eyebrow mischievously. Zoey failed to suppress a giggle.

Maddy rolled her eyes, "I've never had anyone to dress up for, unless you count Jeffery in seventh grade." She shuddered.

Elisabeth laughed, plucking another bushel of the snow-white flowers. "I thought he was pretty cute, do you remember Jeffery, Zoey?" Zoey sheepishly shook her head, laughing.

Maddy sighed and went back to picking flowers. Mark hadn't seen her really dressed up before, sure, she'd tried to look her best when she knew he was coming, but that hardly compared to her in an evening dress. Or so she hoped. At this rate, she was going to be stuck in a field pinching flower stems until her hands turned green. That would be attractive. Probably even more so than when she got covered in mud. The thought brought a smile to her face. Mark was just so great. Every time they planned some sort of getaway or decided to pay a visit to the market for some time alone, something always screwed it up, but Mark always took it in stride. No other guy would do that, especially after the whole getting hunted by dinosaurs incident in the tree. Her smile broadened.

She began humming to herself, making a mental list of everything she had to do once she got back home. First, she needed to take a shower to get all this green crud from her fingers, then dry her hair, do her makeup, style her hair then put on her dress. All before the banquet, well, before Mark came to pick her up for the banquet. From her calculations, there was little time to spare. She hurried a little faster in her picking, trying to speed up the process. How many more flowers would they need?

Elisabeth was still smiling as she continued her little mission with her girls. It always made her happy when she saw how excited Maddy got over Mark. Jim had told her that the young Mr. Reynolds had even asked for her hand in marriage, which resulted in a bout of laughter from the both of them as he retold the story. She remembered when she was Maddy's age, and how precious young love could be. Of course, Terra Nova was different; there were very limited choices when it came to dating potential. It had even worried her a bit when she decided to come to the colony, especially with Josh's relationship with Cara. But things had their way of working out, and she wasn't going to complain. Mark was a great guy, Maddy could have done a lot worse.

"Hey, Maddy," Elisabeth peeked over the top of a scraggily hedge.

Her daughter jolted from her work, thinking something was wrong.

Elisabeth smiled, "Go on back home, Zoey and I can finish up here," the look on Maddy's face was worth every flower she was about to take on, and Maddy barely had time to hand Zoey her basket before darting away, grinning ear to ear.

"Thanks Mom!" She called after a few steps before breaking into a jog.

"Maddy's weird." Zoey said as she watched her sister's black hair bouncing away. Elisabeth laughed as she pulled Zoey into a tight hug.

"Mira, this is ridiculous, " Carter seethed as the Sixer leader started gathering up a motely crew of Sixers.

"Oh, get over it Carter. We'll be getting a good visual of the inside of the colony, and we'll forge some fake ties with Taylor. " Mira replied, sifting through some of her followers and selecting those with the best appearance. The last thing she needed was Taylor making some remark about a smelly Sixer, and she was disgusted to find out that hygiene was apparently something a lot of her people lacked.

"A Valentine's ball? How stupid is that?" Carter rubbed his temples, immensely frustrated at the whole situation. They were Sixers! They were Terra Nova's archenemies! And coming together on Valentine's Day? Who thought up that one?

"Something wrong, Carter?" A voice sounded from behind the rugged Sixer deputy. He went rigid as he recognized it.

"No, I just don't understand why you agreed to let this happen. Seeing as you hate the Commander so much." He responded, swallowing thickly.

"Is he still complaining?" Mira interrupted, shoving Carter aside. Lucas's eyes flashed indignantly before looking to his second in command.

"He was, but I'm sure that was the last of it, right Carter?" His gaze flicked to the young man again, and Carter nodded curtly before heading off in search of more recruits. He was not about to eavesdrop on one of Mira and Lucas's conversations, knowing that he would probably be asked to pick who was right about some stupid argument. Either way, he would be screwed if he stuck around.

Mira' s eyes were venomous as she looked back to Lucas. "He has a point. No one is exactly thrilled to be going through with this little plan of yours. I hope for your sake that it works,"

Lucas chuckled, cocking his head slightly. "Is that a threat, Mira?

"You know exactly what it is," She snapped, taking a definitive step forward. "We're taking a huge risk here, we could walk up and all get taken as prisoners. And you," She stabbed a finger into his chest, "will probably get shot on sight, Taylor."

"Look, he's not going to know its me unless I tell him. He hasn't seen me for five years. I could walk right up to him and as long as I have a smile and a fake name, he'll be too dense to see through it." Lucas growled, slapping Mira's hand away. They glared at each other for a few moments until Lucas broke into a smile. "Besides, as long as we bring food, they'll have no reason to turn us down!"

Mira crossed her arms, not pleased with Lucas's psychopathic mood swings. She sighed as she decided it was going to be pointless to argue. She pressed past him with a harsh shove, leaving Lucas with a smirk as he stumbled out of the way.

"They want to do what?" Nathaniel Taylor was sitting at his desk with incredulous expression. Jim Shannon and Lieutenant Washington were sitting nearby, discussing perimeter control. Both looked up as Mark Reynolds shifted uncomfortably, clearing his throat to explain again.

"Mira wants to bring a group of Sixers into the colony to celebrate the Valentine's ball."

The Commander burst out laughing. Wash and Jim couldn't help but crack a smile, and even Mark had an uneasy grin.

"She expects me to let in a bunch of Sixers for an event that the colony has been planning and preparing for? With our resources?" He laughed again, shaking his head. "Absolutely not. "

"Uh, well she also said that they would come unarmed and that they would bring some of their own food. Oh, and she said she would return some stolen medicine too." Mark fidgeted, a little afraid of how the Commander might respond.

"Did she? I'll believe it when I see it." He leaned back in his chair, placing his plex on the desk in front of him. He looked over to Wash, who was still sporting a smile. "What do you think Lieutenant?"

She shrugged, "There's got to be some motive behind this of course, but as long as they're bringing food and medicine, I don't see a problem with it."

"Hmm. Did she seem suspicious to you Reynolds?" The Commander asked. Mark jumped at the question, thinking back to the conversation with the Sixer leader. "She seemed frustrated, but she didn't seem like she was lying."

"If I may," Jim interrupted, stepping away from Wash's desk. "Even if Mira is up to something, she probably isn't planning to do it tonight. She wants us to think she's being friendly, however ridiculous that sounds. Regardless, we could learn a lot about the Sixers by letting them come in, as long as we keep an eye on them."

Taylor rubbed his chin, thinking a moment before answering. "I suppose you're right, good thinking Shannon." The Commander praised, "How many Sixers are coming?"

"Less than ten, sir." Mark answered quickly.

"Excellent, we'll give them each an escort for the night. I'm sure we can gather up some guards that are free for the evening. Reynolds?" He looked expectantly at the young soldier. Mark's eyes went wide. The last thing he wanted to do was ditch Maddy for escort duty!

"Whoa," Wash raised a hand, "We have to play along with this if we're letting them in. Assigning each of our guests an armed escort doesn't seem very friendly to me."

"She's right, " Jim agreed, flashing a sympathetic glance at Mark, " We could just have the perimeter guards keep an eye from above, if they go somewhere they shouldn't be, we'll catch them."

Taylor shook his head, "That won't work. If we aren't near them, how are we supposed to learn anything about them?"

Mark cleared his throat; "I'm sure between the four of us we can pick up something during the night, sir."

"I can get Josh and Maddy to help out too," Jim jumped in.

The Commander cracked a grin, "That's what I like to hear! Shannon, give them the green light," Jim nodded curtly before disappearing out the door, "Reynolds," He looked to Mark, "You have my permission to terminate your shift for the night. I want you sharp for the ball, understand?"

"Yes, sir!" Mark said with an enthusiastic nod. He couldn't conceal his smile as he ducked from the Command Center, leaving only Wash sitting at her desk.

"Since when have you decided to be so generous, Commander?" Washington cocked an eyebrow.

Taylor laughed, "I want to see the look on Mira's face when she figures out what she just walked into. I'm gonna have a field day."

She flashed a smile before turning back to her work, determined to finish with her filing before the banquet. She was conscious of the Commander's eyes on her, but decided that she wasn't up for another conversation about rover hybrids or the newest shockwave pistol.

"Say Lieutenant, why don't you take off for the night?" Taylor asked, breaking the calm silence she'd built around herself. She chuckled, shaking her head.

"You know as well as I do that there's lots of work to be done." She replied, not looking up from her papers.

"Well, there's an important assignment that I need you to take care of."

She sighed, tearing her eyes away from her work to cast him a glare. "And what would that be? I'm not briefing those privates again, if that's what you're getting at."

Taylor chuckled, "Nothing like that. I was wondering if you want to be my escort for the banquet." His said, eyes twinkling with mischief. Wash felt a smile tug at her lips.

"Are you asking me on a date, Commander?" She cocked an eyebrow inquisitively.

"Of course not, why would I ever do such a thing?"

She shook her head, "I don't know what I'm going to do with you."

"So you will?" He asked enthusiastically.

"Its not like I have a choice." She tucked her papers away, smiling as she made her way towards the door, she paused before leaving, "I'll meet you an the banquet. Wouldn't want anyone getting any ideas." She teased, and stepped out into the afternoon sun. In a few hours there would be Sixers in camp, an insane Valentine's banquet and raging teenage hormones, not to mention a dance. Sounded like fun.