IMPORTANT TO READ: This story is different from the others because this time there will be parts in which we're gonna get Darren's POV. Therefore, if you read the text in 3rd person it's because that's the 'You' POV; but if you read the text in 1st person, it's because that's Darren's POV. I found it interesting because you'll get different points of view in the same situations. Remember that the whole story is fictional and any similarity with reality is pure coincidence...or not! Okay guys, that's all! I'd like to know if you like this new way of writing or not, if you like this story or if you think this is pure bullshit, and I don't know, I'd like to know what you all think so far! Thank you a LOT for your continued support and kind words! Now, enjoy this new story of your life with Darren freaking Criss! ;)
PROLOGUE
There are days when you wake up and you wonder why you have to live in this hell just as well there are days when you wake up and you think that life is wonderful. That happens when you're full of hopes and joy but then, unexpected events come to happen and turn everything upside down. Now you're in high school and people label you: the loser. You never cared about it because you had a different concept of high school, but those people are stronger than you. You try to go against them defending your values, therefore bullying starts to happen. It comes a point when everything seems to fall apart and everything seems to be lost. You happen to be the game of popular people who bully you, you happen to be an object of fun for them and it seems that no one is gonna help you. But there are still good people, people who are gonna give you the strength not to give up; even if those good people don't know it. Darren Criss, a young boy of your school, is one of those good people for you, even if he doesn't know it. Your life in this story starts in high school and from there it develops, with all the twists of life involved. Your life with Darren Criss, your teenage dream.
TEENAGE DREAM
Chapter 1
The meeting
AUGUST 2004…
The first day of school after your summer vacation. To return to high school was weird for you. On one hand, you wanted to go back to school because your summer vacation was really boring, you barely spent the days with your few friends because they all took a tentative course of World History since they loved doing those kinds of things. Usually, you'd take that course because you really wanted to acquire more knowledge for your future, but this summer you didn't do it because the last year in school was a real shit for you. And this was one of the reasons why you didn't want to go back to school. People in your school already got a label for you: you were that nerd girl who had geek friends; summing up, you were what they called a loser. You couldn't get how those people could call you a loser only because you wanted to acquire more knowledge, you wanted to be a smart girl who could get the enough intelligence to defend yourself in the future, you wanted to be an enlightened and cultured woman. That was why in your Sophomore year you were member of clubs like Spoken Word, Speech and Debate and Book Club in St. Ignatius College Preparatory. You were happy with that because you could learn a lot of things, but then the "cool" and popular people in your high school started bugging and harassing you because you were that nerd and smartass girl who everybody hated, a loser. And hell, you wouldn't let those stupid people, who thought that popularity was the most important thing in the world, treat you as if you were shit. You defended yourself as you could in a non-violent way but yes in an offensive verbal way; with your smartness you were used to insult them, telling them that they were the half-witted people who soon would understand that they could have popularity but nothing else, thing that wouldn't help them in college. Of course it didn't help you and your reputation. After the first time you said that, the level of harassing increased to the point you were afraid to go to school because you knew you'd end up slushied, beaten or they would throw you in the garbage. When this started happening, now you weren't so brave to defend yourself because you really didn't know what they could do, so you just gave up and you let them doing it, it was like a routine to be slushied or whatever. And of course no one defended you because your friends were also harassed and people around wanted to be popular so you shouldn't bug them. It was a real shit. While you were the loser in the school, your bigger sister, who was now a Senior, was popular and beautiful. Your relationship with your bigger sister, Amanda, wasn't good, therefore she never did anything to help you or to defend you from those assholes; and your parents were too busy with their jobs that they didn't have time to worry about those stupid things of high school. It was only you against all the popular people. Big trouble, huh?
Now you were a Junior and you decided you were going to do something about it, so this year things would change. You spent the entire summer thinking how you were going to do it. You didn't want to be a popular and stupid girl, but you wanted them to respect you. This year, you were going to do all the things you liked but also you were going to try new things. Yes, you were going to join new clubs and you knew which one it'd be: Student Visual Art Society, Technical Theatre and SILive. But not in vain you chose those clubs, there was also another reason, a reason you'd never admit and tell anyone.
Your first day of school was going to be hard, because you were still that loser girl, but you were expectant to know if that label was going to change and if your plan was going to work out.
"Hurry up, stupid." Your sister yelled from downstairs.
Still in your bedroom, you rolled your eyes and cursed your sister in silence. She was the one who had an own car since your parents gave it to her in her last birthday, so she had to take you to school with her. You finished dressing to go downstairs. Your way to dress up was another of the reasons why you were harassed and discriminated. While your sister used to wear her cheerleader uniform, you used to wear a white button-down shirt and pair of black cuffed pleated pants that were a couple of inches too short with penny loafers. You weren't going to change your way of dressing up because you felt comfortable with it and because it was all you had in your wardrobe. You looked in the mirror and then you combed your hair in a ponytail before going downstairs.
"Come on, let's go. I don't wanna be late on my first day of school." You said grumpy, walking to the car, and you noticed how your sister rolled her eyes.
"Duh, loser." Your sister said contemptuously. "Remember, once we arrive to school, walk away from me as fast as possible."
"Will do. I don't want to see your face full of makeup any longer." You answered harshly.
"Whatever, freak." Your sister responded, also harshly.
The way to school was quiet since neither of you talked. When you arrived, you walked away from your sister who got entertained greeting all of her friends, yelling and bouncing exaggeratedly excited and in a hypocritical way. You heard how they were talking about stupid things and gossips and that repulsed you. If there could be any humble and kind-hearted person, it wasn't your sister and her friends. While you were walking to the entrance of the school with your books in hands, you noticed how a lot of people were looking at your direction making fun of you, but you decided to ignore them and walk with your head held high. You walked to your locker and there you saw that fascinating boy you were secretly in love since your Sophomore year. You didn't even know his name and you never talked to him, he didn't know who you were because you didn't make eye contact with him, not even once; but that boy was absurdly beautiful and he seemed to be funny and nice. All you knew about him was that he was a Senior and he was into the drama program and also into the instrumental and choral program. Your heart flipped when you saw that short and dark curly hair boy with those breathtaking hazel eyes and bright smile. You knew you'd never talk to him because he was kind of popular, not like the asshole ones who were in the football team; but he was popular after all and people like him never talked to you. And let's face it, who would notice a girl like you? But at least you were free to look at him since no one knew your feelings for him. He was the reason why you decided to join those new clubs, maybe that way, at least, he'd know about your existence. When you walked by his side your whole body started trembling and your heart started beating faster because of all these feelings you had for him; but he didn't even notice your presence, he kept talking cheerfully with his friends. You looked down, feeling really stupid to feel this way whenever he was close, and you arrived to your locker, still annoyed with yourself. When you arrived there, you looked around guardedly because this was the part of the day when the popular people used to take advantage to beat you. But no one was near and there was no indication that someone was going to appear. That was weird, maybe people changed and this year was going to be indeed a good year. You left some of your books there and then you looked around again. Nothing. You smiled feeling fine, this was a good way to start the year. You walked to take your first class of the year: Spanish III, with Mr. Brian Rhodes as a teacher. You, of course, sat in the first chair and you were one of the firsts to arrive. When more people started arriving, no one sat next to you, but you didn't mind because you were used at it and, anyways, you were there to learn and not to talk to someone. Mr. Rhodes arrived minutes later, it was an old man who seemed to be grumpy and very intimidating.
"Buenos días, alumnos." Mr. Rhodes greeted in Spanish with guttural voice and no one answered. Two girls behind you haven't even realized that the teacher was already there and they kept talking and laughing. "In this class, no one is gonna talk because we're here to learn. If you want to talk, then do it outside after going to the principal's office. So, if you girls don't want to visit the principal's office, shut up." Mr. Rhodes said harshly and authoritatively, so the two girls stopped talking. "I'm gonna talk only in Spanish from now on because you are in Spanish III."
In that moment, a boy interrupted the class in a rowdy way because, obviously, he was late. When you saw who the boy was, your heart skipped a beat. It was the guy with dark curly hair and hazel eyes.
"I'm so sorry, sir!" The guy said apologetically from the door, panting. It seemed that he'd been running.
"A usted le parece correcto llegar a esta hora? La clase ya ha empezado, señor." Mr. Rhodes asked, looking at the curly haired guy in a harsh way.
"Sorry, what?" The curly haired boy asked while frowning, completely confused. Evidently, he didn't understand anything of what the teacher said and you chuckled softly.
"Yo pregunté si le parece adecuado llegar a la clase a esta hora una vez que ya ha comenzado." Mr. Rhodes repeated in Spanish, still harshly.
"I...I'm sorry sir, I don't understand." The curly haired guy replied, still frowning and disconcerted.
"Usted quiere estudiar Spanish III y no es capaz de entender lo que estoy diciendo? Usted debería volver a Spanish I." Mr. Rhodes laughed sarcastically and the curly haired guy laughed nervously, still frowning.
"Yes, that! Spanish I is not the class I have to attend, it's Spanish III. Is this Spanish I? Because if it is, I'm in the wrong class. Are you Mr. Rhodes? Because I know Spanish III is his class and I'm looking for it." The boy rambled still frowning and obviously not getting what the teacher said. The teacher huffed in annoyance, looking at him.
"Yes, this is Spanish III and I'm Mr. Rhodes. Now sit down because you're late. You'll get extra homework because of your delay, Mr...?" Mr. Rhodes asked looking at the curly haired guy.
"Criss." The guy answered.
For the very first time you heard his last name. Criss, it was a nice last name, just as beautiful as him, you thought while looking at him dreamily. When you realized the way you were looking at him, you felt really embarrassed and you looked down and blushed. Hopefully nobody noticed it. You needed to contain yourself and more knowing that he was going to be in your class until the end of the year. But then he walked to sit and he sat next to you, since no one was sitting next to you. Damn it. He had to sit next to you. How were you supposed to pay attention to the class now that he was next to you? You felt really nervous and your body, as usual, started trembling. But he only sat there and he didn't even glance at you. The class started and you could barely pay attention to the class because you were really entertained looking at Criss and how he was drawing something in his notebook instead paying attention. He was really beautiful and intriguing. You were really distracted until Mr. Rhodes, apparently, was asking something to you, because the curly haired man looked up to you and smiled, apparently amused. Hell, that was your first eye contact and you could perfectly see his bright and big hazel eyes. And hell, he smiled at you! Now you were really nervous and you looked away because it was very embarrassing the fact he caught you looking at him. You looked at Mr. Rhodes who was looking at you, apparently waiting for the answer. Damn, what the hell was he even asking? You looked at the blackboard and read the sentence in Spanish. Surely you had to translate that sentence.
"El hombre tenía un buen trabajo." You read the sentence that was written in the blackboard in front of the class. "In English it'd be... The man had a good job." You said feeling self-confident.
You actually were good at Spanish since you had a friend who was Latina when you were eight. You knew the answer was right, but it seemed that Mr. Rhodes didn't think the same.
"Wrong answer." Mr. Rhode said superbly and you looked at him raising your eyebrows, astonished. You knew the answer was right. "The right answer is: The man had a great job."
"Oh, come on!" You exclaimed loudly in disbelief and all the class looked at you. Even Criss looked at you; you felt his eyes fixed on you. "It's the same meaning with different words." You added before you could actually realize what you were doing. For the first time in your life you were contradicting a teacher.
"That kind of answer will lead you to fail the exam." Mr. Rhode said arrogantly. "You have to read the entire sentence and find the appropriate word considering the entire context. Your failure was because you translated the sentence word by word and not in its context."
"Excuse me, sir. But I read the entire sentence and I translated it in its whole context. Great, good, incredible, amazing, awesome; those are synonyms and all of those words are appropriate to the sentence you wrote in the blackboard." You answered defiantly because you knew you were right. And you knew that the Criss guy was looking fixedly at you but you didn't want to look at him, you were already very nervous and upset.
"Nerd!" Someone yelled behind you and everyone in the class laughed out loud. You tried to ignore the comment but you couldn't. You looked down feeling really upset for all that was happening and you tried to contain yourself to not stand up and punch the boy who yelled at you. But you failed. You were really angry, as never before.
"What did you say, you idiot?" You asked while walking in a rage to the boy who yelled.
The boy was apparently surprised for your sudden reaction. The entire class was also surprised because now nobody was laughing, everybody was quiet. Of course, you were yelling at the quarterback of the football team, Brian Clerk, one of those 'popular' and 'cool' guys, probably the most handsome and popular guy in school; but a douche one. Besides, no one ever saw you like this, so upset and brave.
"What did you say, idiot?" You yelled at him in a rage before punching his face. He frowned in bewilderment and covered his nose, right where you punched him, as everybody else gasped in astonishment.
"Enough!" Mr. Rhode yelled behind you. "I won't allow anyone to behave this way in my class." The teacher said upset. "You, girl, go to the principal's office. Now."
"What?" You asked now looking at Mr. Rhodes in disbelief and upset. "This is so unfair! I didn't do anything."
"If punching the face of your classmate doesn't mean anything to you, fine. But for me it means you have to go to the principal's office. Go, now." Mr. Rhodes demanded authoritatively.
"I can't believe this. He deserved it and I'd do it again if I have to." You answered really upset. "But whatever. You must be a male chauvinist, so you'd never understand."
"Two weeks of punishment for you now, lady. Principal's office, now." Mr. Rhodes said really angry and harshly.
"Whatever." You huffed annoyed before leaving the class and snapping the door behind you.
What the hell was that? What the hell was going on with you? You never treated a teacher like that. You were really rude and impertinent, and you weren't like this. You never contradicted a teacher before and now you acted like a snooty girl. You never punched someone's face before, and now you said you'd do it again if you had to. You never were so angry and you never lost your control like this before. And for the record, you never had to go to the principal's office before. You weren't a troublesome, you weren't like this. You were the smart, educated and quiet girl; the smartass of the class, the one who was always recognized like the girl who had the highest scores and like the girl who was congratulated by every teacher. And what the hell happened in that class? And that Criss guy looked at you, at your stupid and angry behavior.
'Oh great, amazing way to impress him, idiot.' You thought.
This couldn't be happening, what you thought it was going to be a good first day happened to be a really bad one. And it was your entire fault. Great.
I was excited to start this new year. This was my last year at school since I was a Senior. Actually, I was a bit nervous; I mean, this was my freaking last year and maybe it was going to be the last year I'd see my friends there. And then there was the fact that I had to do my best to get any kind of scholarship for college. I knew what I wanted to study, but I didn't know where yet. Definitely, drama and music was my thing. Man, this year was going to be crazy! One thing was for sure: I needed to have a blast in my last year, and after all it was high school. And I knew exactly how to have a blast: just being part of the drama program, and also the instrumental and choral program would be enough for me. I loved drama classes and I also loved the instrumental program considering I knew how to play violin since kid thanks to my beloved mom, and now I learned how to play guitar, drums and piano and of course I wanted to learn to play more instruments. That was why I decided to join the club Rock and Roll; it was going to be totally awesome. I knew what I wanted, I wanted to be a singer and an actor, and who says singer and actor also says songwriter. Yes, that was what I, Darren Everett Criss, wanted to study in college. Some people would say I'm ambitious and sometimes unrealistic, but hey, it was what I wanted and I was willing to do whatever it could take to get it. Well, maybe not whatever it could take, of course I wouldn't kill anyone or get laid with someone I didn't want, but yeah. Yes, maybe I was ambitious, but in a good way. After all, it was my life.
Anyway, it was my last first day of school and I was in the hallway with my four best friends in high school: Jen Nedeau, Claire, Dean and Karen. Even though we spent almost all the summer vacation together, it was awesome to see them there. We all were very excited about this year and we couldn't stop talking about how this year would be. And then I saw her, the girl who drove me crazy, walking seductively with her friends on her cheerleader uniform. If there was a perfect girl, that was she.
"Darren, you should talk to her someday. Stop being so coward. After all, this is our last year." Jen laughed while shrugging. "And you have talent for acting and a damn good charisma. Use it to get her attention." Jen winked.
"Yeah, it's that easy." I replied sarcastically, still looking at that girl walking away until a weird and nerd girl with a ponytail walked next to me and I lost the cheerleader of my sight. "I heard she's dating Jim Adams, the captain of the football team. I have no chances."
"Well, screw Jim! You're way better. I heard she's in Donuts and Coffee club, maybe you'd want to join that club. No alcohol, hot chocolate, donuts...it's a good chance." Jen encouraged me. Jen was my best friend, the one who knew everything about me.
"Could be." I responded, shrugging. Actually, it'd be a good chance. As Jen said, it was my last year and I couldn't finish school without kissing that girl.
"Darren, don't you have classes now? You're so late." Dean pointed while looking at me, after talking to them for a long.
"Oh, dammit!" I exclaimed realizing I was ten minutes late. "See you in drama class, guys!"
Damn, I was so late and people told me that Mr. Rhodes, my Spanish teacher, was a pain in the ass, a grumpy old man who enjoyed embarrassing people in front of everybody. I ran to the classroom as fast as possible, I really didn't want to get into trouble, not in my last year. When I entered the classroom, in a rowdy way, the class was in silence and Mr. Rhodes was talking. Then the teacher looked at me, goddammit, that look was really scary. I was in troubles, I knew it. He opened his mouth to talk and I didn't understand a damn shit of what he was saying. Holy shit, it was just the first day of class and this old man was already talking in Spanish. I needed time, geez! I hardly remembered what I learned last year in Spanish II.
"I...I'm sorry sir, I don't understand." I said frowning and disconcerted.
"Usted quiere estudiar Spanish III y no es capaz de entender lo que estoy diciendo? Usted debería volver a Spanish I." Mr. Rhodes laughed sarcastically.
What the heck has he said? Oh man, this old man was really a pain in the ass! I said I didn't understand a damn shit and he's still speaking in that language. What could I do? Laugh, he was laughing, so maybe he made a joke about something. Oh great, Darren! You really know how to laugh like an idiot. But hey, he mentioned something about Spanish III and Spanish I, maybe he was asking me something. I don't know, I didn't have a fucking idea what he was talking about. Quickly, Darren, quickly, answer something!
"Yes, that! Spanish I is not the class I have to attend, it's Spanish III. Is this Spanish I? Because if it is, I'm in the wrong class. Are you Mr. Rhodes? Because I know Spanish III is his class and I'm looking for it." I said. Did I ramble? I think so; otherwise people wouldn't be laughing at me. It seemed that Mr. Rhodes was upset because he huffed in annoyance. Seriously man, he should win the award of the scariest man in the whole planet.
"Yes, this is Spanish III and I'm Mr. Rhodes. Now sit down because you're late. You'll get extra homework because of your delay, Mr...?" Mr. Rhodes asked looking at me. Great! Extra homework was the last thing I needed. Well, let's see the positive side of this, the punishment wasn't so bad.
"Criss." I answered. Amazing way to start my day, wee! I thought sarcastically.
I looked for an empty chair and I wanted to sit as fast as possible. There was an empty chair in the first row, and the weird girl I saw earlier was sitting near there. She was looking at me in a weird way. Whatever, there was an empty chair and I just wanted to sit down and not being scolded by that grumpy old man again. Stupid Spanish class, it was being so boring and I didn't know anyone there, so I couldn't talk to anyone. Why was I in that class? I needed to do something not to fall asleep, so I just grabbed my notebook and I started drawing shit on it. Yeah, my drawing of Mickey was terrible man, so fucking terrible. When I was about to try to improve that drawing, something caught my attention. I heard how Mr. Rhodes was asking something to the girl next to me but she never answered. She seemed to be the kind of girl who answered everything, a smartass, I'd say. So I looked up to see what was going on. Oh god, why was she looking at me that way? It was funny, apparently she had no idea that she was at class, and she seemed to be really distracted looking what I was doing. Hold on, was she blushing? Man, she blushed when I looked at her, that's hilarious. I caught her! I couldn't help smiling amused. The girl now stopped looking at me abruptly and she looked at the blackboard. That was funny, she seemed to be nervous, I never saw anyone that nervous. Surely she wouldn't be able to answer the teacher and then I wasn't going to be the only one scolded. But, surprisingly, she read that sentence in Spanish and she answered. How the hell has she done it? She was good at Spanish. Oh girl, you answered wrong; well at least that was what Mr. Rhodes said. Wait a minute...Is she contradicting the teacher? Oh man, this is turning into an interesting class, about time! Wow, this girl knows how to answer properly; of course, she must be a geek who always knows the answers.
"Nerd!" Someone yelled from behind and the whole class laughed out loud. I didn't know if I should laugh, that was kind of offensive and she seemed to be really upset.
Well, now was the moment when the girl starts crying. What? Man, I never saw this in the story of high school. The geek girl hitting the quarterback of the football team. Man, that girl has got guts! That was a hell blow with a fist! Ha! Take that, asshole! This was like a movie. What the hell? What was wrong with that stupid teacher? Yes, well answered girl! The asshole deserved to be punched. Oh man, she's in troubles. Calling the teacher male chauvinist? That's brave, and highly stupid.
"Whatever." The girl huffed annoyed before leaving the class and banging the door behind her.
Whoa! I'd have never expected something like that from a weird girl like her. This was good for a movie; I could make up a script for a drama play with this. Oh man, someone shut up that grumpy old man! I'm gonna fall asleep. Come back, girl, with a tommy-gun and turn this boring class into an action movie!
"I'm fucking starving!" I said to Jen when the Spanish class finished.
"You're always starving, Darren." Jen laughed and she gave me a cookie.
"This is why I say I'm starving. Because your cookies are the best." I said grabbing that fucking delicious cookie.
"Yes, sure. How was your Spanish class with the grumpy teacher?" Jen asked while we were walking to the drama classroom.
"So fucking boring! Really, Jen! That old man would make the perfect role play as the party pooper. Of course I arrived at the class and the idiot started talking in Spanish, I didn't get a damn shit of what he was saying. Who does that in the first day of class? He gave me extra homework that I won't be able to do because I don't understand." I complained. Poor Jen, she always had to deal with my complaints.
"It doesn't seem interesting." Jen mocked. She always used to do it, and it always made me feel better.
"No, wait! Actually, I've witnessed the most unbelievable event of high school. Something that is gonna be in the history of this school." I said exaggeratedly excited. I always used to exaggerate things, because it always made things more interesting.
"Okay, Darren. What is it about?" Jen asked laughing, already used to my way of talking.
"The geek girl hitting the popular guy; in front of the teacher and the entire class. You should've seen it, Jen! It was amazing! That girl stood up so angry after the guy yelled at her nerd and she just punched his face! Like, pum! Take that, asshole!" I said acting all the movements that the weird girl did. "Who would say that a girl like her could do something like that? I mean, she's the typical smartass who cries when someone yells rude things, but she didn't cry. It was priceless; I've already made up a script in my mind with this situation."
"Now I want to meet that geek and brave girl." Jen laughed and I laughed along with her until I saw something that was happening in the hallway that made me stop.
There it was the weird girl of my Spanish class on the floor and the same popular guy of my Spanish class was hitting her. People around were just looking entertained this situation. The popular guy wasn't alone, he was surrounded by his friends and among his friends was the cheerleader I liked. They were laughing and no one was doing something to stop that asshole. How could a guy hit a girl? It didn't matter if she was a geek girl, she was a girl. I didn't know what to do; I needed to stop it because it wasn't right. But I really liked that cheerleader and I'd never have the chance to be with her if her friend was the one who was hitting the weird girl. I just stood there, without doing anything at all. And the weird girl looked at me, as if she was pleading me for some help. But I did nothing and I felt really bad. Then the popular guy stopped hitting her and looked at her with contempt.
"Don't you dare to mess with me again, you bitch. Remember you're nothing but crap for this school and I'm the one who rules the school. Loser." The quarterback said harshly and contemptuously while his friends laughed at the girl.
He and his friends walked away still laughing and people around, who were watching the fight, also walked away. But I stood there, looking at that poor girl on the floor with no attempt of moving from there; however, she wasn't crying. I looked around to see if anyone was looking at me and I tried to walk to where she was, but Jen took me by the arm.
"What are you doing, Darren? We have class." Jen whispered.
"I'll be there soon, Jen. I just can't leave her alone like that." I answered also whispering.
"What, Darren? Oh come on, she's gonna be fine and you don't even know her." Jen said looking at the girl frowning.
"She's the girl of my Spanish class, the brave and geek one." I whispered.
"So? It doesn't mean you know her. Darren, let's go. You're gonna get in trouble if you help her." Jen responded.
"I know I don't know her, but poor girl, Jen. I'll be there in a few minutes, I promise." I whispered and Jen sighed.
"Fine. Be careful on your way to the class, then." She said before she started walking to the drama classroom.
I looked right to where the girl was; she was now sitting on the floor, leaning against the lockers, covering her face with her hands. I started walking towards her but she didn't look up. What the hell was I doing? I didn't even know her, I shouldn't be doing this. But I felt guilty when she looked at me pleadingly and I did nothing to help her. This was going to screw my reputation if someone happened to see me helping that girl. I finally reached her and I kneeled, not knowing what to do. She didn't look up and I really didn't know what to say.
"Are you okay?" I asked softly.
"Yes." She answered with trembling voice, now uncovering her face and looking at me with a weird look. Holy crap, her nose was bleeding and her left eye was bruised. And she wasn't crying!
"You...you're bleeding." I stuttered while looking at her nose. Fantastic! I was stuttering. Why, though?
"I know." She answered shortly, cleaning the blood of her nose with her sleeve.
"Hold on, I think I have cotton here. You know, I'm in drama class and we need it to remove the makeup." I said searching in my backpack the cotton and then I handed it to her. She looked at me again in a weird way and it made me feel uncomfortable. But then she took the cotton in silence and put it in her nose, looking away. "I...I'll help you to stand up." I said kind of nervous. This was an uncomfortable situation.
I stood up and I looked around to see if someone was looking at me before taking her hand to help her to stand up. At first I thought I did something wrong because she looked at me in a weird way, as though she was upset or sad, I couldn't tell what kind of look that was; and then, when I held her hand, she kind of shivered, as if she was uncomfortable of being with a stranger like me. I don't know, it was weird. When she stood up, I quickly let out her hand and she looked down. I looked around nervously and then I looked at her again.
"I'm sorry, because of what happened." I said looking at her who was still looking down in silence. Man, it seemed she was dumb. "That guy is an asshole. He shouldn't hit a girl, no matter if you're a geek. It's just not right." I said upset remembering how that guy hit her. I was thinking about it that I didn't realize I called her geek in front of her and now she was looking at me as though she was hurt. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, I just have this mind...I never think what I say...No, wait, I mean..."
"It's fine. I'm used to people calling me like that. Thanks, for the cotton and all." She interrupted me with sad voice and looking down before she left quietly, turning the corner of the hallway.
"I'm a dick! How could I call her like that in front of her? Poor girl." I cursed myself.
I really felt bad when she looked at me in that hurtful way and I really felt bad when she told me she was used to people calling her like that, as if she was hopeless. Even though I didn't know her, I felt bad because no one deserved to be treated like that. I wouldn't like to be in her shoes. Poor girl.
When you left the principal's office, after he told you that you should take an extracurricular drama class as a punishment, you thought that your first day of school couldn't get worse. But you were wrong. When you were walking moody to your locker, the popular guy you hit in your Spanish class walked towards you. He was looking at you in anger and he was with his male friends, all of them showing you their fist. Crap, you were fucked up, you knew this wasn't going to end in a good way and you had no way to run away, you knew that no one would help a freak like you. And you felt it; you felt how the guy punched your left eye. It was so painful. Then he hit you again and you saw your sister. Your sister was there and she was laughing, she wasn't doing anything to stop that guy, to help her little sister. How could she do nothing? Then the guy pushed you against the lockers, making you fall on the floor while people around stopped to watch the situation, but no one was willing to help you. You looked at the popular guy scared, you were scared as hell. And you felt his fit on your face again, this time he punched your nose. You couldn't do anything, you couldn't run away because all of his friends were there to help that guy if you tried to escape. Your nose was bleeding, you could feel it, it was very painful, but you didn't have to cry. You needed to prove him you weren't going to regret of having punched his face. Then you tried to look away not to see the next time the guy was going to punch your face. And when you looked away, you saw the curly haired boy. He was standing there, looking at you, looking how that guy was hitting you. You looked at him in a way you never looked at him before, you looked at him like asking any kind of help; you looked at him in a sad way, in an embarrassed way. You didn't want him to know you were that kind of girl that everyone wanted to punch. The boy just remained there, looking at you idly.
"Don't you dare to mess with me again, you bitch. Remember you're nothing but crap for this school and I'm the one who rules the school. Loser." The popular guy yelled at you harshly and contemptuously while his friends laughed at you. Even your sister laughed at you.
When the popular guy left, you sat on the floor and leaned against the lockers, covering your face with your hands, as if it would stop the pain. You shouldn't cry, you needed to be brave; you needed to make people respect you. Then you heard unsteady steps walking towards you, you felt how someone kneeled next to you. You didn't want to uncover your face; you didn't want anyone to see you like this.
"Are you okay?" Someone asked softly. You recognized that voice. It was the curly haired boy.
You uncovered your face to look at him astonished; you couldn't believe he was actually talking to you. He, the guy you were in love with since your Sophomore year, was talking to an uncool girl. Why was he doing it? You didn't want him to look at you like this, like a disaster, like in one of your lowest points.
"Yes." You answered with trembling voice because you were nervous of being near him. You noticed how he looked all over your face with a terrified face, or was it a disgusting face? You didn't know.
"You...you're bleeding." The curly haired boy stuttered. Of course you were bleeding, but what could you do? This couldn't be more embarrassing.
"I know." You answered embarrassed cleaning the blood of your nose with your sleeve. If you were embarrassed before, now you were even more embarrassed. This was disgusting but you had no other way to clean your nose. Gosh, it was painful.
"Hold on, I think I have cotton here. You know, I'm in drama class and we need it to remove the makeup." He said before searching in his backpack the cotton and then he handed it to you.
You looked at him in disbelief. You couldn't believe he was helping you. Why was he being nice to you if he didn't know you at all? This guy was unreal. Nobody else has done something like that for you before. And he, out of all the people, was doing it. He seemed to be uncomfortable, so you just took the cotton, put it in your nose to stop the bleeding and then you looked away, feeling really ashamed because he surely noticed you were looking at him deeply into his eyes, amazed because of his kindness.
"I...I'll help you to stand up." He said kind of nervous. What? This wasn't real. This wasn't how you imagined how it'd be like to talk to him for the very first time.
But then it happened. You knew this guy couldn't be that perfect. When he stood up to help you to stand up, he looked around to check if someone was looking at him. It was evident that he was embarrassed of helping and talking to a girl like you. Duh, who would want to talk to you? As the popular guy said, you were nothing but crap for the school. Anyway, you glanced at him kind of sad because, deep down, you had hopes he wasn't like the other guys. But he was; yes, he wasn't an asshole, but he was ashamed of being near you, just like the others. Nonetheless, he held your hand and you shivered at his touch. His hands were soft but strong and you could feel the warmth of his body. You didn't want to let out his hand, it just felt so good. But then he let out your hand very quickly. You looked down sadly but trying to hide it, it was more than obvious he was doing this because he was a nice person but he didn't want to be your kind of friend, he didn't want to be near you because, after all, you were a freak.
"I'm sorry, because of what happened." He said softly but you didn't look up, you just kept looking down in silence. This wasn't what you expected, you didn't want his compassion, and you didn't want him to feel pity for you. "That guy is an asshole. He shouldn't hit a girl, no matter if you're a geek. It's just not right."
When you heard the way he called you, you looked up to him. Yes, you knew he was embarrassed of being with you, but you never thought he could call you a geek. It hurt you so much to hear the guy you really liked calling you like that; more than calling you like that, what killed you was the thought of him thinking and seeing you that way. It was even worse than hearing that popular guy calling you nerd or crap. Now you really wanted to walk away from him.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, I just have this mind...I never think what I say...No, wait, I mean..."The curly haired boy started to say nervous.
"It's fine. I'm used to people calling me like that. Thanks, for the cotton and all." You interrupted him with sad voice and looking down. It wasn't really his fault. You were just hurt because you never expected from him something like that. Come on, nobody would like if the guy you like calls you in that way. It just hurt.
You quickly walked away from him, you needed to go away, and you needed to turn the corner of the hallway so you'd be able to cry all the tears you were holding back. When you turned the corner of the hallway, you walked directly to the women bathroom and there you locked on a box to cry. You couldn't help it. It was stupid from you to think you could change this situation in your school; it was stupid to think that maybe someday you could be friends with this curly haired boy. It was stupid from you to think that someone would want to help you, to be your friend. It was stupid from you to think that someday someone would love you. For all of that you cried in silence. You were only an excluded girl. Deal with it.
When you cried your eyes out, you left the box of the bathroom to look into the mirror and wash your face. Your eyes were very swollen because of the crying, your left eye was severely bruised and your nose seemed to be broken. You looked terrible; you looked uglier than ever. Of course you missed all your classes of the day, you weren't like that but this time you couldn't help it, you weren't feeling good at all. But you had to go to that drama extracurricular class. It was your punishment and things were going to get worse if you didn't do it. This was the worst way you could start your first day, nothing was going well.
Feeling in a shitty way, you walked to the drama classroom. You didn't even like to act, you weren't good at it and you weren't good at anything that involved physical exercise. Hopefully they would let you come back home when the teacher, whoever it was, gets to see you like that. When you arrived, few people were there and you didn't know anyone there. All of those people looked at you and they started to murmur, apparently gossip things. You sat on a corner and just looked away. You shouldn't be there. Then the teacher arrived. It was an eccentric man who seemed to be nice, he surely would let you come back home as soon as he gets to see your face. The teacher greeted the class and then he looked at your direction.
"That's a good makeup!" The teacher exclaimed while looking at you amazed. What? You couldn't believe this. Has he really thought it was a makeup? "Come here, girl. You're gonna start."
"What? No." You refused in disbelief.
But it was too late; the teacher already took you by your arm and led you to the stage that was there. He walked to the bench and sat there with the entire class. You were just standing there, feeling all of their looks directed to you, waiting for you to do something. What the hell were you supposed to do?
"I'm not supposed to be here. I don't even know what I'm doing here." You said almost in a whisper, very shyly. You've never been so exposed.
You were waiting for some kind of answer of your teacher, but he only kept looking at you very intently and expectant, just as the rest of the class. Why weren't they saying anything?
"The only thing I know is that this was a shitty day and I want to leave this place." You said again, now a bit louder.
No one answered. They just remained looking at you expectant and very intently. Oh hell, were they thinking you were acting? Yes, they were thinking that. You didn't know what to do. Maybe you could leave. But then you thought it could be a good way to let out all your feelings; after all, they'd think you were acting all this time. It could be a good thing. You heard how the door was opening, but you didn't look at it, you were decided to let out all of your pent-up feelings and you were focused on yourself now. You just forgot the fact that people were there listening to you and watching you, and you started talking, pretending to be acting.
"Some days I wake up with the hope I can change this hell I'm living. Some days I think everything is going to be good. But there's a thing I never consider, and it's the meanness of the people around me." You said looking at a fixed point, with a blankly stare. "I always wonder why people gotta be so mean. I always wonder why we cannot be nice to everyone who is around us; why we cannot stop discriminating someone by the way that person looks like or thinks. I remember when I was a little kid." You said and then you paused, still staring at that fixed point. "Everything was easier and not long ago I found out why everything was easier. Because when we're kids, appearance does not matter. Kids don't care if someone is pretty or ugly, if someone is popular or unpopular, if someone is rich or poor; kids don't care if someone is black, or white, or Asian or Latino, or even a dinosaur. Kids only want to have a good time with someone. They're happy to have a new friend, regardless the way that friend looks like. They're happy because they don't know what discrimination is, because they don't make people feel bad, because they're pure at heart." You sighed and then you looked down for a while.
Everything was silent and everyone, for the very first time in your life, was listening to you. Then you looked up again, it was sad look. You didn't look at someone in particular; you just stared at that fixed point.
"Unfortunately when we grow up, those values disappear. When we grow up, it's better to get a nose job than a friend; we think that happiness is to be popular and to have a lot of fake friends instead being ourselves and have only few but real friends. Unfortunately when we grow up we turn into mean people because all we care about is to get what we and only we want, and we do whatever it takes to get it, and we hurt people while trying to get it." You said now bitterly. "This is what happened to me. I tried to be myself. It came a point I had to yell: Stop it! I'm a human being and I have feelings. You're hurting me and I will no longer let it happen. Stop it! Please stop it because I can't take this any longer. Please stop it because I'm weak and all I want is to be happy, but I can't if you keep ignoring me and if you keep discriminating me for who I am or by the way I look like. Please, stop it. I'm tired to keep trying. Please, look at me, please notice me, please listen to me, and please let me be. Please, love me." You said loudly with brittle voice, still staring at that fixed point. You never planned to shed tears, but it happened. "But they didn't do it; they didn't notice me, they didn't look at me, they didn't listen to me. They only beat me for being myself and they just laughed at it. That is what I got. This is the hell I'm living every single day of my life, this is the hell I want to leave to find that place where I can be happy again, a place where people would accept me for who I am and not for what I've got or not. I only want to find a place where no one is gonna beat me, where no one is gonna hurt me. And I don't even know if that place exists, but I want to think so, because it's the only hope that allows me to keep going. Meanwhile, I'll keep living in this hell until someday someone will give me a hand and will save me. I know it's gonna happen someday, but I just don't know when. And I'm tired, too tired. Just...let me be." You said with choked voice, breaking down and sitting on the floor slowly, shedding that last tear of deep anguish.
Everything was silent until after few seconds people there started clapping. You didn't care about it since this wasn't acting for you, this was real, and those feelings were real. And it worked, you felt lightly. You could let out all you were feeling and people who were there listened to you. They listened. You wiped your tears away and then you looked up to find that people there were also crying. You made them cry, your feelings and thoughts made them cry and it was absurdly odd. And there was also this curly haired man; he was looking intently at you, he was the only one who wasn't crying, he was just looking at you sadly but also in a way you couldn't define.
"Excellent! Excellent!" The teacher clapped excited. He was also crying and that was the weirdest thing you've ever seen. Then you thought that maybe acting wasn't so bad. "This is the best way a class can start! You're an excellent performer but I've never seen you in drama class. Have you taken courses out campus?"
"No, this is my first time." You answered shyly and the entire class looked at you astonished and raising eyebrows.
"You're kidding, girl!" The teacher exclaimed, smiling, still with tears on his eyes.
"No, I'm not." You answered, now looking down.
"Unbelievable! A talent you have from birth, then! I'm honored to have you in my class." The teacher bowed. Your teacher bowed in front of you! What the hell was that? You, of course, looked at him befuddled.
"Umm...umm..." You babbled because you were speechless.
"Alright class, for those who don't know me yet I'm Mr. Curry, but you can call me Ted. With time, maybe I'll let you call me Teddy but not now. I'm your teacher and a performance like the one we have just watched is what I want to achieve in our drama play at the end of the year in front of all the students." Mr. Curry started saying excited and you just looked at him with eyes wide open before sitting on the bench, away from the other people. "You two." Mr. Curry pointed a pretty and blond girl and a tall and scruffy guy. "Get on stage and perform something. Imagine you're in the Middle Ages and..."
Mr. Curry kept talking but now you weren't paying attention anymore. What you just experienced was the weirdest thing that happened to you. You've never been listened and you've never been congratulated this way. Yes, you've been congratulated by your high scores and your smartness, but never for something you did that involved your feelings and corporal expression. And no one there laughed at you in a malicious way. Still, you thought you shouldn't be there because actually you haven't acted, you were just being yourself, you were just showing your real feelings and thoughts, one of the most private things of you. But on the other hand, you thought that these drama classes could help you to feel better. At least people there haven't made fun of you, and it meant a lot to you.
"You should be proud of yourself. Teddy never says something as nice as what he said to you." Someone whispered next to you and you jumped because you were deep in thought.
You looked up to see the curly haired boy looking at you with a smile on his face. When did he get there? He was in the other side of the bench and now he was sitting next to you. You still couldn't feel comfortable next to him; he was the only person who could make you feel this way, as if you couldn't control your body shaking. He was very close and you realized that his hazel eyes were the most beautiful eyes in the entire universe, his hazel eyes and his long eyelashes. His curly hair was also wonderful, it seemed very smooth and you had to contain yourself from running your fingers through it. And his smile was just breathtaking and catchy. You really needed to stop looking at him that way or you were going to scare him more than he already was. You had to keep in mind that he was ashamed of being seen in public with someone like you.
"That was a really awesome performance and there's no doubt you turned into Teddy's favorite. For the record, he never cries. Only you could get it. It's remarkable." He said still smiling and amazed. "You're gonna kick my ass this year. I used to be his favorite one."
"Oh, thank you?" You said unsure and puzzled. You couldn't believe he was talking nicely to you and less that he was complimenting you. "And sorry for that. You're gonna be his favorite anyway. I only have to take this class for two weeks. You know, my punishment, you were at Spanish III class."
"Yeah, I was." He said smiling and thinking about something. "That was an amazing class. That asshole deserved it."
"Yeah." You answered shortly, now looking down. You really needed to keep your sight away from his.
"I'm really sorry for what I said earlier. I honestly didn't mean it." He whispered...distressed?
"It's okay. I told you I'm used at it." You also whispered, still looking down. You didn't want to look at those bright hazel eyes.
"It shouldn't be like that. Nobody deserves to be treated that way." The boy said sincerely and then you couldn't help looking into his hazel and bright eyes. Damn, he was flawless. "Let me introduce myself properly. I'm Darren Everett Criss, but you can call me Darren. It's nice to meet you."
Darren Everett Criss was the name of this stunning guy. One of the mysterious things of this guy has been revealed and now, more than ever, you were intrigued to know more about this guy you've been in love with since your Sophomore year; about this guy who never noticed you and who was now talking to you. Was this real?