The Strangeness of It All-Who I am
My fists pounded against the punching bag, I flipped and kicked it, I was so angry! It was Sauske, people made fun of me and put me down, but he has always been the worst ever since elementary school! Just because he's the captain of the martial arts team, just because he's from a prestigious family, just because being who he is enough for everyone…what gives him the right to act like such an ass to me? "No matter what you do, I'll never accept you; you'll always be an outsider, Naruto." His words stung me, the ice in his eyes, the acid in his voice, it hurt, but that wasn't going to stop me, I was going to pound his duck-butt head into the ground someday, believe it! "Naruto, are you training late again or are you pretending that bag is Sasuke's body?" An all too familiar voice halted my hands and I turned around, meeting eyes, well one eye, with the masked teacher, Kakashi. "What do you think?" I muttered, clenching my fists and glaring at the bag, wanting so much to continue my fist filled attack. Suddenly, I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, patting me gently. "Sasuke…well…things have happened and he lost his entire family, except for his older brother, you knew that, didn't you? It's been hard on him." No duh, everyone knew the Uchihas were dead, it was global news, and you had to be living under a rock not to know. When it first happened, I felt like I could relate to him, and thought maybe we could be friends, I wanted to be friends, but things didn't turn out that way. Flaring up, I raised my voice, "And what is that supposed to prove? So I'm supposed to just let him be a bastard because his family died? What about me? What about how I feel?! Why, of all things and people, does he have to hate me?!" Kakashi stared at me, looking for the right words, and then spoke, "Because you don't know the love of your family, and he believes that is bliss. Naruto, he wants to forget the love so he doesn't have to suffer, so he can dull the pain. It seems cowardly, I know, but sometimes we just can't see the other side of things."Patting my shoulder, he left the room, closing the door behind him as I shouted, "Wait, Sensei-!" Staring after him, I clenched my fist, "Rah!" Frustrated, I punched my hand into the wall, ignoring the sting. Sasuke…is an idiot. Did he really thinking knowing the love of family and having it taken away was worst than always wondering what it felt like? I don't know what it's like to hold your parent's hands, I don't know what it's like to sleep in their bed when you've had a nightmare, I don't know what it's like ride on your dad's shoulders, or what's it's like to have your mother kiss you when you get hurt, I'll never know, ever, but he still has those memories to cherish. "That idiot, what is he thinking?" I grimaced, my godfather, Jiraya, once told me that sadness made us stronger, but only if we overcame it. My first year of middle school, I got sick of crying, so I stood up and moved on with life, but I could never forget…just how alone I was, and it didn't help that people enjoyed reminding me. Even so…"Even if we fall down, we just have to get back up, but some people just need a little help, right, Sasuke?"
I stared up at the ceiling of the training room, leaning against the wall; I didn't want to go home, it wasn't like anyone was waiting anyway. I was still thinking about that boy, and the anger in his eyes like blue fire, I wanted her to suffer like I am, but then I know that I'm just forcing my feelings onto him. I lost everything, and so did he, but he never had memories, the memories of people you loved that haunt you in your dreams, and in your nightmares. He lived a blissful life where he didn't have to be reminded of anything, it wasn't fair! Slamming my hand on the floor, I gritted my teeth, it wasn't fair. "Don't break the floor now, Sasuke." I tilted my head back and saw Kakashi entering the room and he sat beside me. "You know, Naruto's really upset about what you said." He said out of the blue, looking out the window. I turned over on my side so I didn't face him, "Like I care." I felt his stare on me and he sighed, tapping his finger on the floor. "Naruto doesn't have any friends, no family to speak of, and even his godfather spends little time with him, always working on his…profession. Do you really think he has it better off then you?" Kakashi asked, treading on thin ice. "He doesn't have to live with the memories of people he loved more than anything! He just smiles and lives blissfully not knowing a thing and-"
"Naruto doesn't even know what his parents look like, everything is gone! No one cares about him, but he got sick of feeling sorry for himself and crying, he had the courage push on, do you have the same courage?" He raised his voice, causing me to blink, courage…to push on…? "Kakashi-!" I looked up and he was gone, I had never seen him get so emotional about something, and to get worked up about something so small, too. Sighing, I held my head as his word's echoed in my mind, courage…I had strength, but Father once told me that strength never gave you courage, it only gave you security. Did I have the courage to push passed it, to stand in the face of the thing that destroyed my life…I wasn't sure. Forcing my feelings on him, laughing at him from behind, I was being a coward; I was dragging him down with me into my suffering because…I was afraid of being alone. He was the closet person in my hell, the only one who could possibly reach me, and maybe, just maybe, I could find the courage to push on, and seek forgiveness from the person I envied the most. "Naruto…"
They sat, wall to wall, not knowing that the other was just behind them. Tomorrow is a new day, where the road to courage and forgiveness begins.