Title: The Woes of Black
Rating: K and Up
Genre: General/Friendship
Summary: At the end of term, Sirius once again dreads the return to the house of Black and bids farewell to Hogwarts (and his friends) until the holidays are completed. One shot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
Notes/Warnings: one shot; set pre-books
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The Woes of Black
There was a collection of cheers at the end of term throughout the corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Many students, such as the fifth and seventh-years, took to throwing up their caps and even a few books, although that was severely looked upon by some of the prefects, spotting the books in question narrowly missing a head here and there. As groups of students moved along the grounds, heading towards their houses, one small throng of friends lingered, unhurried as they were guided by their fellow students. The sun was still high in the sky, the weather was warm, and while most of their peers seemed excited to pack their belongings to prepare for their time home, there was one student who was less than thrilled. In the small band of four men that were being guided through the castle by their own ambling walk, Sirius Black smiled and laughed with his friends, but threw a sullen look to the ground when their attention was diverted. His companions, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin, all appeared to be cheerful at the end of the quarter, although perhaps Lupin a little less so than the former two.
"Have a good holiday, Snivellus!" James called to a familiar boy with a hooked nose, greasy, lank hair and sallow skin that passed them, moving towards the Slytherin common room. Almost instantly, Severus Snape had whipped around, wand out. Laughing, James instantly set a jinx on him that had his robes being pulled over his head, suffocating him. He struggled with his robes valiantly and toppled over, causing another round of laughter from James and Peter. Sirius chuckled, as well, though even the torment of his nemesis could not give him much enjoyment. Remus's mouth thinned, but he resolutely continued forward, increasing his pace a bit so that the others had to jog to catch up to him, leaving Snape fighting his robes. By the time he had extracted himself from them, flushed and furious, they had already disappeared in the pool of students.
"That was hardly necessary," Remus said in his quiet voice. James glanced at Sirius in exasperation.
"What was I supposed to do, let him hex me?" James responded mildly, grinning and pushing a hand through his already untidy hair. Peter nodded vigorously, his watery eyes widening earnestly, as though James could not have said a more honest thing. Sirius rolled his eyes at him, but then turned his eyes towards the window, where the expansive grounds of Hogwarts seemed to be pulling at him.
As the two of them began to bicker, with Peter staring at James in raptures, nodding his agreement at everything he said, Sirius slipped through the students, away from the stairs leading to the Gryffindor common room, and back down to where he could escape into the sunshine. Even though he wished very much to spend his last time before the end of term with his friends, he wanted to bid a proper farewell to Hogwarts, as well. He had done this for the past five years since he had first arrived at Hogwarts. As he stepped outside, a warm breeze wafted across his face and he paused, sighing. A few Ravenclaw girls that were lingering outside the castle, chattering turned their eyes to him interestedly. Ignoring them, he continued out onto the green. He was not even aware of their eyes following him and by the time he had arrived at the lake, he did not much care. He settled beneath the tree at the lake, sighing as he stared across the still water.
He turned his gaze towards the castle, feeling a horrible longing in his chest. Sirius came from a pureblood family and while most would find this admirable, he felt nothing but loathing for his own heritage. His family was full of some of the most vile people and his mother, he felt, was one of the worst. At the end of term, he was always overcome with depression at realizing that, after months of being able to ignore his family and pretend that James, Remus, and Peter were his family, he had to crash back into reality. At platform nine-and-three-quarters, he would give a gloomy wave to his friends and return to his home, where his mother would continue on her rants of "blood traitors" and "filth" and if he so much as mentioned Remus, her eyes would positively bulge with anger. Any conversation after that usually resulted in them screaming at each other and Sirius would run off for a few days, sometimes to James's house, sometimes to sit at a twenty-four house café somewhere in London. Unfortunate though it was, he always recalled that it was still 'home' and he still had to return to it for the four miserable weeks until the next term started.
Sirius, feeling more depressed than ever, rose to his feet and continued on through the grounds, lingering at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, running a hand over the trunk of a tree thoughtfully, and then continued on, back towards the castle. He settled on a hill and stared down at the Whomping Willow, feeling another bout of loneliness settle on him. He tossed a rock towards it and it shook its branches warningly. In spite of his mood, Sirius could not help but smile.
He heard a group of voices behind him and he glanced over his shoulder carelessly.
"...most arrogant, pig-headed person I've ever met," one of the girls was saying to the other two and huffed. As she tossed her thick, red hair, her view was opened to where Sirius was sitting and she looked momentarily startled, likely surprised by seeing him alone. Her step slowed somewhat and her friends, puzzled, turns their eyes where her gaze was lying, but Sirius had already turned around and rose to his feet, resolutely walking the opposite way they were traveling. After a moment, he heard the girls' voices pick up again. Sirius could only imagine that Lily Evans was speaking of his friend, James.
The thought of his friend brought another pang to him and as Sirius trudged up to the castle, mentally saying goodbye to the memories from his fifth year, he realized that his friends at Hogwarts would be one of the things he missed most. He entered the castle, where there were still students lingering in the hall. As always, the girls' eyes followed him, but, just as usual, he was unaware and did not much care for their attention. He swept his hair from his forehead, his brow furrowing as he moved towards the staircases that would lead him to Gryffindor tower, still thinking of his friends. A faint smile passed over his lips.
"Sirius," a voice startled him from his thoughts and he glanced around, surprised, until his eyes fellow upon Dumbledore, who was standing serenely a few feet from him.
"Oh, sorry, professor," he said hastily, wondering whether Dumbledore had spoken to him before he had heard him. Dumbledore smiled at him and peered at him over his half-moon spectacles, as though he was well aware of where Sirius's thoughts lied. "I was...absorbed in my thoughts."
"Not causing trouble for once, either, I see," Dumbledore remarked, his blue eyes twinkling at him. Sirius could not help but allow a reluctant smile cross his lips. "It seems that every day on the last term is allowed some peace." Dumbledore smiled as Sirius looked at him questionably. After a moment, the professor remarked, "Every conflict comes with knowledge and in the future, I am sure that knowledge will only further your life and help you grow. Why, I remember how my brother and I always used to bicker and yet we both grew from the conflict and, I think, we learned something about each other that we wouldn't have otherwise." He smiled at Sirius's baffled look and then said, "Enjoy your holiday, Sirius," before continuing down the hall.
"You, too, professor," Sirius called and after watching him a moment, reflecting on Dumbledore's words, he turned and continued towards the staircases. Even after five years of being at Hogwarts, he still was amazed at the amount of perception that Dumbledore held. It seemed impossible for Sirius to have anything but respect for Dumbledore and not for the first time, he felt a rush of shame at going behind his back and becoming a Animagus. Hastily, as he always had, he assured himself that it was for Remus's own good. Yet, he wondered at how Dumbledore, with all his wisdom, was not aware of his and his friends' animal forms. Either way, it did not matter, for Sirius was focused upon Dumbledore's words from a moment earlier and knew that Dumbledore had been speaking of his family.
What could possibly come from the arguments I have with my mother? he wondered, hopping up the stairs and arriving at the portrait guarding the common room. After distractedly giving it the password, "Abyssinian shrivelfig," he climbed into the common room and found it full of students running around, chattering to each other and nearing had his head blasted off when one of the first years' wands went off. He scowled angrily at the boy, who turned considerably white, looking fearfully at Sirius. Ignoring him, Sirius searched the room and when finding his friends missing, headed upstairs to the fifth year dormitory, where he found Peter chasing around James's snitch. "You could never be in Quidditch, Wormtail," Sirius said with a shake of his head.
"Oi," James said, snatching the snitch as it came close to him, halting Peter's frantic dashes that had been entertaining the other fifth year boys, "where have you been off to?"
"Oh, you know," Sirius replied with a shrug, "getting lost and such." James smiled, but did not persist. Out of all of them, James knew Sirius the best and was well aware of his attachment to Hogwarts. Peter settled on the ground, groaning with exhaustion, looking put out at having been unable to catch the snitch. Remus was slower in placing his things in his trunk and was ignoring the snitch chasing entirely. Sirius, who had not bothered beginning packing at all that day, opened his trunk and peered at the emptiness within it. There were a few cards in it that he had angrily thrown in there – Christmas and holiday cards from his mother, wishing him happy holidays and demanding he not place anymore shame on his family – and a few stray pieces of parchment. He gathered the lot and tossed it in a rubbish bin.
"What are you planning on doing this holiday?" Peter asked them as he rose to his feet and sat on the edge of Remus's bed.
"Oh, I'm sure we'll be able to find something exciting to do," James remarked, throwing a smirk towards Sirius.
"I'll spend at least one week of it in my basement," Remus said with an uncomfortable grimace.
"My parents are thinking of taking a trip, but they're being very hush-hush about it," James said, shrugging as he collected a pair of trainers and tossed them in his trunk. "It'd be nice if they actually said something." Sirius raised his eyebrows in the middle of folding some socks and Remus merely smiled at him, as though they were sharing a secret. Unfortunately, Sirius was baffled as to what the secret happened to be.
The night passed as the three enjoyed their last hours together and in the morning, they trudged out of the castle with their belongings and settled in the carriages to prepare to return to the train. The train ride was as eventful as ever, with Severus sneaking up on them at one point and attempting to hex Sirius and James. James ended up with the ends of his hair singed from the spell that had missed him and Sirius had leapt up with an irritated roar.
"Foul little git he is," Sirius grumbled as they collected their trunks. He and James had enjoyed a full hour of talking about Severus Snape and the person in question gave them filthy looks as they climbed off of the train. "Thinking he's so clever, sneaking up on us..."
"I wonder what he was trying to do, anyway?" Remus said aloud. Peter found his parents and waved them goodbye, hurrying off, promising to send them letters over the holiday and Remus, much more reluctantly, gave his farewells when he spotted his family.
"I wish we could run with him during the full moon," Sirius said, watching their friend meet his family, who hugged him in greeting and smiled. "I know how much of a burden he feels for his parents over the holiday."
"He'll be alright," James reassured him. "It's only one time and then he'll be back at Hogwarts and we can run with him." He smiled and then leaned forward. "But hey, I didn't want to say anything in from of Peter, but my parents wanted you to come along on our trip." He winked. "We're going to head over to Germany. Apparently they've got all kinds of different creatures over there and there's a Quidditch match that will be happening while we're there, too. It'll be interesting to see their form, don't you think?"
Sirius grinned, his gloom from leaving Hogwarts lifting somewhat. "That sounds brilliant. When are we leaving?"
"In a week. Mum and dad reckon we'll pick you up from London and head out from there. We were able to find a port key that's set up to travel there. It might be a little cramped, I don't think we're the only ones that are planning to vacation there."
"I don't mind," Sirius said. James beamed at him, clearly excited.
"Excellent!" They found James's parents easily and some feet from him stood his mother with their filthy house elf, Kreacher, and his little brother who was waving at him cheerfully. Sirius gave a wave, but purposely did no look at his mother. James's mother gave him a hug and began to list what he would need for the trip without even asking if James had said anything to him. "Mum!" James groaned. "He knows how to pack for a trip!" After his parents stepped away to take James's trunk and owl, he said, "Listen, don't let your mum get you down when you're at home."
"Oh, I'm sure she'll succeed in doing that two seconds into talking to her," Sirius said with a grim smile. James returned with his own and shrugged.
"I'll send you an owl to let you know what time we're picking you up!"
"Cheers," Sirius said and gave a wave that James returned. He turned and heaved his trunk with him, grudgingly walking towards his mother, who immediately turned upon seeing him close enough and exited platform nine-and-three-quarters. His little brother lingered behind, peering up at Sirius.
"So, how was it?" Sirius glanced down at him and then smiled, recalling Hogwarts.
"The best, little brother, the absolute best."
Fin
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DIS: I couldn't recall how much older Sirius was than his brother, so my info on that might have been skewed, but I didn't think they were in school at the same time...In any case, please leave a review telling me how you liked it, what you didn't like, etc. :) Ciao!
