a/n: Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world, the Doctor Who world, The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, nor do I own the wizard rock bands The Remus Lupins and Roonil Wazlib. I don't own Potter Puppet Pals, the web sites Live Journal, You Tube, and My Space. I own my house and in a way, my daughter.

Sirius Black and Doctor Who Meet Nyssa

by

The Geeky Quill

An ordinary girl in an ordinary house in an ordinary town in California, which is an ordinary-

"Ok, we get it already!" the girl said testily. "I'm boring and average. I get it!" She glared at the narrator.

This girl, all of sixteen, wearing a grey Wizard Angst shirt, gathered her bathrobe, towel, etc. and shouted, "I'm going to take a shower!" She went into the ordinary bathroom. The girl frowned at the narrator and said, "Don't start that again." Just wait. We're getting to the exciting part.

She heard a thump and then the shower spontaneously turned on. Then she heard an "Ah!" She turned and said, "Ah!" herself. And then, "A man in my shower!"

"Brrr," said the man as he stepped out of the shower. The next thing he knew, he was being whacked with a toilet plunger. Thwap!

"Oh my goodness!" said the girl. "It's Sirius Black." She looked down in awe at the man laying flat on his back with twinkly cartoon stars twirling in a circle above his head.

He sat up. "Ouch." He rubbed his head. "Hey!" he exclaimed when he noticed the slight girl with dishwater blonde hair. "Stay away from me!" he warned. He then rooted around for his wand and accidentally picked up the plunger.

"You're Sirius Black," declared the girl in glee. "You're so hot!" she observed most eloquently.

He found the wand and raised both it and the plunger, which he assumed was a magical weapon of some sort. "You're the smallest Death Eater I've ever seen. Where in Merlin's name am I?"

"Sirius Black is in my bathroom!" the girl exclaimed. "I have to go update my L.J." She went skipping joyfully out of the bathroom.

Sirius looked around perplexed. One minute he was falling through the veil at the Department of Mysteries and the next he was taking a spontaneous shower. He flicked his wand to turn off the shower. Even Sirius Black is mindful of water conservation. Too bad Nyssa isn't. Then he dried himself with a drying spell.

He wandered down the hall, following the sound of music. He spotted the girl from the bathroom sitting at a desk with her feet up and pressing buttons on some muggle device. It was, of course, her computer. She was typing in her Live Journal.

"O.M.G." she said. "I love this song." The song playing was "Dragons Make Very Nice Pets" by the wizard rock band Roonil Wazlib.

"Um," said Sirius. "I was just in the Ministry of Magic and-"

"Shhh," she shushed him. "Ha ha, Roanne posted a drawing of Tom Felton."

"Who?"

"Oh, um, Draco Malfoy."

"Draco! That's my Godson's arch nemesis and the son of a powerful Death Eater!"

"What are you talking about?" said Nyssa rolling her eyes. "I'll be off the computer in a minute," she said. It was a phrase she used often and without thought.

She posted a bulletin on MySpace. "O.M.G., Sirius Black's in my house."

"Excuse me. I fell through this veil and I need to get back to the battle. Are we still in the Ministry of Magic?" asked Sirius.

"What the heck?" she said with teenage disdain. "No!"

"I'm just going to go. I have to get back to Harry."

"No, don't go. Just a minute," she said as she typed away.

"Do you have a broom I may borrow?"

"Ha ha. What the heck? Just a minute."

"Never mind," he said. "I found one." He straddled a broom he found in the kitchen. "It doesn't seem to work," he said with disappointment. Suddenly he noticed the song issuing forth from the computer speakers. He heard, "Have some respect for Sirius Black." The Remus Lupins were playing now. "Hey," he exclaimed, "that's about me!"

"Duh," said the girl. "Ok, I'm finished with the computer."

"Shh," he shushed. "I'm listening."

"Stop it mom," she said. "I know it's really you."

"Mom?" Sirius looked at her perplexed.

"OH CRAP! You really are Sirius Black! Ahh!"

"Well then," he began. He was interrupted by a KRRSH KRRSH KRRSH noise. A blue police box with a light on top materialized.

"What the?" said the girl and Sirius.

Out of the box stepped a fairly handsome and well dressed man.

"It's David Tennant!" exclaimed the girl.

"It's Barty Crouch Jr.!" shouted Sirius. "Stupify!" With a wave of his wand, Sirius knocked The Doctor out cold.

Presently, in walked a woman thirty blah blah years old. She was wearing a shirt with the words Don't Panic written in large friendly letters. "Nyssa, why is Jarvis Cocker lying in our kitchen? And who is this? Oh, is it one of your drama friends? I'll make some tea." She put on the kettle. "Alex, put down your plunger and stay a while."

When the tea was ready, she brought the tray to the table where Sirius and Nyssa were discussing who the strange man lying stunned on the floor might be.

"Maybe it's that guy from the Weird Sisters," suggested Sirius.

The aroma of the tea drifted through the air and revived The Doctor.

"Sniff." He sat up. "Ahh! Hello, I'm The Doctor."

"No, I don't think so," said Nyssa's mom as she leaned over to peer at him. "He has a long scarf."

"That was several regenerations ago," said The Doctor with a dorky smile.

"Whatever," said the mom. "Nyssa, get enough plates for you, Jarvis, and Alex while I get the biscuits."

"Nyssa!" exclaimed The Doctor with one finger in the air and eyes wide like a comic book character with an idea. "I know that name."

The mom rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, I named my daughter after a Doctor Who character. I was young and nerdy when I had her," she confessed with a blush.

Nyssa sat at the table with her feet on the chair and her knees sticking up in the way that annoyed her mother.

"Hello, I'm The Doctor," announced The Doctor yet again. He sat down at the table.

"Yes, you said that already," said Sirius with his brow furrowed at these strange muggles. "You may call me Snuffles."

"Snuffles," sniggered The Doctor.

"Wow," thought Nyssa. "Is it my birthday?" she eyed them dreamily. "I hope they don't notice I keep talking in a fake English accent."

"Nyssa, do you miss Traken much?" asked The Doctor, mistaking her for one of his past companions who came from that planet.

"Huh?" she said ignorantly. Then she giggled.

"When did you leave Terminus?" he asked. That was where he had left her.

"Terminus!?!?" she exclaimed, thinking that he was referring to the upcoming Harry Potter fan gathering in Chicago. Then she began to wonder if she could bring Sirius Black with her. Everyone would think she was so cool. Suddenly she was awoken from her reverie by her mother with a movie camera.

"Smile everyone!" said her mom.

"Mum, put that away. Stop filming me!" Nyssa covered her face with her hands and her hair.

"Hello, I'm The Doctor," said The Doctor.

"Hello," said Sirius with a wide grin.

"Mom, I'm going to kill you," said Nyssa through clenched teeth.

"See you all on YouTube!" said her mom with a giddy laugh.

"Nyssa," said Sirius, "You should appreciate your mother more. I'd love to have a mother like her."

"Now Snuffles, old chap," said The Doctor, "Don't be so hard on our Nyssa. A girl has to be able to follow her own path. As I like to say to Jackie..." but Sirius just gave a yawn. He wasn't listening. Neither was Nyssa. She was sighing and thinking that her mom was so embarrassing and that the guys were so hot.

"Oi!" said Sirius. "Does anybody care that I left my Godson behind in a deadly battle?"

"He'll be fine. Dumbledore comes to their rescue," assured Nyssa.

"How do you know? Are you a seer?" asked Sirius.

"Uh, yeah, sure," muttered Nyssa.

"I have a plan!" interjected The Doctor with his finger in the air in a comical pose.