Yes, the title is a lie. ;) For spoiler reasons. The real title is "Tio Ernesto."
To my "Hector" who crossed over to the Land of the Dead this March: Until I'm in your arms again, remember me. –Your Coco 3
Minus family, Ernesto always hated children.
Sure, they can be adorable and fun to be around. Gullible even. They can fall for anything that's on their lap.
But, of all of the obnoxious tiny devils in the world, Ernesto hasn't hated any child more than Hector's darling, little Coco.
Princess.
Angel.
Precious.
Treasure.
Hector called Coco all of this and more. Oh, how he loved his little girl so much. Too much. Hector and Ernesto were supposed to be taking over the music world. Ernesto as the lead singer and the charmer that every woman wants. Hector…well, despite being a better singer than his childhood best friend, he was too shy to be a singer and he rather wants to keeps his songs to his Coco…of course. So, he prefers being just the guitarist. Everyone loved them! They were so close to having fame and glory. Then, Coco came along.
It all began with a phone call at three in the morning. Ernesto finally fell asleep after having a "productive" night with a beautiful fan. Ernesto groaned. He checked if the phone woke up Rosita (or was it Juana? Eh, he'll just call her Edita) and thankfully, she was still asleep.
"Now, what?" he muttered to himself. He picked the phone.
"What, what?" Ernesto mumbled to the phone.
"Ernesto! Ernesto!" screamed Hector through the phone. Ernesto was so startled he dropped the phone.
"Hector, is everything okay?!" asked Ernesto, worried about him.
"Si, si! Everything is perfect!" Hector sounded so breathless. "Imelda had the baby! I'm a father! I'm a father!" Ernesto laughed in happiness.
"My friend, that's amazing!" Ernesto smiled.
"And best of all, it's a girl! Oh, Ernesto, just wait until you see her! She's so beautiful. She just looks like Imelda. She has her eyes and her nose. And she has the cutest, chubbiest little cheeks. She even has one dimple like me! Huh, I wonder if the one dimple gene can be passable to her children or grand-" Hector was so excited about the infant child that he was speaking so fast that Ernesto couldn't understand him.
"Hector, Hector!" he repeated. "Breathe, breathe. This is all fantastic. Let me sleep, enjoy your little bundle and I'll see you all in the morning."
"Si, si! I'm a dad!"
Before Ernesto can hang up, he heard Hector let out a loud grito, followed by a baby cry, and then:
"Hector, you just scared the baby! She finally stopped crying after-"
"Sorry, dear! Oh god, I'm already failing as-"
With that said, Ernesto hanged up the phone.
"Ava Maria."
Hector looked down on his beautiful miracle as she was sleeping in the crib next to the master bed. Hector didn't sleep a wink, but he didn't want to anyway. Why sleep when the most amazing thing has happened to you? Every single thing enchanted Hector from her lack of hair to her heartwarming smile. She was just perfect.
Hector stroked her cheek, accidentally waking her up. But, the baby didn't seem to mind. She immediately grabbed her papa's finger and curiously looked up at him.
"Hey, little niña. What are you doing up so early?" whispered Hector. "You need your rest. You had a long journey here. You and your mama." Hector turned around to see his beautiful wife, Imelda sleeping next to him. She may be covered with sweat, but to him, she's Sleeping Beauty.
"You're lucky that Imelda is your mama," he whispered to the baby. "She may be rough on the edges, but trust me, she's a softie." Hector released his little girl and crawled on the bed to kiss Imelda. Before he could, he saw his prized guitar. That gave him idea.
The intelligent baby was taking in her surroundings when she saw a blurry man next to her.
"Hey, you know what your mama and I like to do?" whispered Hector, putting on his guitar. "Playing music. When you get older, you can be just like us. Me and your tio Ernesto are always looking for more band members."
Before Hector started to string the guitar, he heard a knock on the front door. Hector put the guitar on his bed and rushed to the front door. He opened it to see Ernesto with pink flowers and a teddy bear.
"Ernesto!" Hector smiled, hugging him.
"My friend, congratulations!" Ernesto warmly patted. Hector can tell that his friend was exhausted. But, Ernesto coming all the way up here while being exhausted showed Hector what a great friend he was. "Now, where are the girls?"
Hector gasped excitedly.
"Well, Imelda is still asleep. But, our little Coco is up." Ernesto never saw Hector smile that big before. In fact, he noticed just now that Hector does in fact have one dimple. "Sit, sit! I'll bring Coco to you." Hector was so giddy he practically pushed Ernesto on the couch.
"Wait, Coco?" asked Ernesto.
"Si, that's her name! Well, it's actually Socorro, but the nickname is Coco. Isn't that the cutest little nickname? Our little Coco." smiled Hector, running to the bedroom. Ernesto scoffed, trying to make himself comfy on the hard sofa. Coco? What kind of nickname is that? It rhymes with loco.
"Actually, Coco. Can you stay awake, sweetie?" Ernesto heard Hector said in a sorry tone. "You're going to meet your first amigo." Ernesto couldn't help it, but smile when he overheard Hector talking to Coco. He had never seen Hector this happy since his wedding day.
"Just so you know, this is the first time walking with the baby," Hector cried out to Ernesto. "This is pretty stressful."
"Um, you need help?" Ernesto offered, standing up.
"Nope, I got it." Hector was finally in view with a little pink bundle on his arms.
"Mission accomplished, Coco. You are not dead. Told you your papa isn't a klutz." Hector looked at Ernesto with tears in his eyes.
"I can't believe this is happening," Hector smiled, sitting down next to him. "My best friend meeting my child. Never thought the day would come." Ernesto rubbed his dear friend's shoulder.
"I'm proud of you, Hector. You deserve everything that's coming to you." Ernesto shifted his focus on little Coco, who was looking right at him. Ernesto wasn't a baby person, but he had to admit to himself. Hector and Imelda made a beautiful child.
"She's perfect, Hector," beamed Ernesto. Hector proudly smiled at Coco.
"That's right, Coco. That's your tio Ernesto," he cooed. Ernesto was taken back.
"Tio?" he questioned.
"Woo, the room is caliente," exclaimed Hector, wiping sweat from his forehead. "Hold Coco and I'll turn on the ceiling fan." Ernesto didn't know what to do as Hector, with a trusting heart as always, put little Coco in his arms. Things got more awkward as Hector and Coco did nothing, but stare at each other. I mean, what can Ernesto do with her? She's a baby.
"Um, hola?" Ernesto finally uttered. "Huh?" Ernesto was in shock as Coco managed to crack a smile at him. "Hector, I think I broke her."
Hector, finally turning the fan, jumped off the chair and looked down at her. Coco was still smiling at Ernesto.
"No, no, she likes you!" exclaimed Hector. "You're the second person she's smiled at! You know, babies do have a good sense of character."
Even before Ernesto had the chance to joke that Coco has a good taste, he smelled something absolutely revolting. Ernesto looked down, immediately knowing where…or who…it was from. To add more damage, Coco's smile was even bigger.
"You don't like me, do you?" he snarled.
And you can say then at that point on, that was where crap hit the fan, figuratively and unfortunately for Ernesto, literally…as it plastered all over him.