AN: Sorry, I haven't written in forever. I love the Hunger Games so much that I don't want it to end. Enjoy this. Please. Review!

Chapter one: Love The One You Hold

Nightmare after nightmare after nightmare. It had become part of my routine. I would go to sleep for a few hours, dream of all the people I brought down, and wake up, sticky in sweat, screening the name of an innocent person I had murdered.

Tonight, I cried for my precious, innocent sister, Prim. I killed her. It was my fault. She is dead, because of me. I should have died in her place. That's why I volunteered as tribute. Fought in the war. For some odd reason, even thought I protected her with all my might, I lost her. She slipped through my fingers. I wonder if she knew how much I loved her. How I ached day and night, with emptiness in my heart and mind, wanting to wither away. Why couldn't I just die? That would make things much easier. But, for some odd reason, I was still here. And I felt like shit.

I had talked with my mother a few days ago. She told me how things were going for her in district 4. She says She is happy. happier than she would be here. I kind of want her to be here. to have a familiar face of family around. to mend her heart. unfortunately, here, too much guilt is barren in the ground. I resent her for this.

She said that Gale was doing alright, that he found a nice place to live in and met a nice girl. For some reason, it stung to hear that. I didn't love gale in that way. It was just hard to hear that he was doing better than I was. That he was happier. I loathe him.

Is this what any of them would want? Would they want me to go on in life hating everything? And everyone? Would they want me to slowly fade away off this earth?

I'm stuck in this big, lonely house, usually by myself. Greasy Sae and her granddaughter come along twice a day to make sure that my stomach is full. It's usually just us. She part with me after I eat my meals, holding the small girls hands as they exit my home.

Home. Is that what I call this place? With the empty rooms of my mother and departed sister? This house is like a graveyard. It's filled with all my baggage. Prim is not baggage. My mother is. I want to clear out the rooms, but I don't have it in my heart. I'm a flaky mess. Literally.

It looks like it is around dawn when I wake. I try to get a few more hours of sleep, but it is useless. My nightmares of my little sister, Primrose, haunt me devilishly, leaving me restless.

I sat up in my bed for a few more hours until sunrise, reading my book. Missing Prim. I swing my legs over and stretch out, strip of my clothing, which has my excess skin flaked on the fabric. I toss it away, planning to burn the nasty clothes later on. I walk to the bathroom, running the water on the shower for a bit. Take a breath before stepping into the lukewarm mist and just stand there, thinking.

I want to move on from all of this. I've been trying my hardest, but it isn't enough. Why is it? If only everyone's best effort could be enough. If not, plenty. Must of people must feel like I do. Feel that even though the world says you succeeded, your heart tells you that you failed. I try to relax by letting the water wash my matted hair. Maybe that will help me brush it.

Do I even have a brush for my hair anymore? I might have thrown it during one of my tantrums. I've smashed a few things in this house. I've ripped the wallpaper in my basement, broke a window, and knocked a few doorknobs off doors. What can I say? It's a work in progress.

I get out of the shower and pat my skin dry carefully. I sit for a while, and then get ready to go out hunting. I brush out the wet, matted mess that is my hair, wringing all the water I can, afterwards putting a simple braid into my hair, then slipping on some decent clothes, grabbing my father's jacket, and then leaving.

Greasy Sae is standing at the door as I was about to leave the house. She gives me a small smile.

"Hunting is good for you, but you should fill your stomach a bit before you go".

I do as Greasy Sae instructs, eating the eggs and bacon she makes for me. Buttercup strolls into the room, sticking up his tail and waving it back and forth. She sneaks the arrogant cat a strip of bacon, and he gnaws on it happily before taking a dash. I give my farewell to Greasy Sae and go back upstairs. I forgot my socks.

I walk down the stairs when I notice the door swings open. There in a nice basket filled with bread and cheese buns. My head says that I need to get outside, do some hunting, and get some fresh air so that I can think straight. My stomach; the opposite.

Peeta.

He has been standing there quietly, holding flowers in his hands. But, those aren't just any flowers.

They are Primroses.