Guns and Chainsaws

Hey you guys, Alito here! I've decided to do a fanfic mixing two games in one;

Lollipop Chainsaw

DmC: Devil may Cry

It's gonna get bloody up in this bitch, as Dante, Juliet along with her severed headed boyfriend, Nick go on an adventure to defeat the Dark Purveyors and the demon that controls them!

Cameo appearances included.

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all in this. DmC and, Lollipop Chainsaw belongs to their original creators and NOT ME!

LET'S F-IN' ROCK!

The world;

Within it lies many mysteries of which we have never seen before in our lives. Some good, some bad…however, even the twisted of the people who dwell on Earth can have a special purpose within their planet, whether good or bad… We start at two different areas on Earth and from there…the adventure begins…

9:27 a.m

California

It all started in a small neighborhood in California, where within one house, slept a certain young girl. She was dressed in boy shorts and a work out bra. Her blue eyes finally opened to the start of a special day today. She sat up as she stretched her body from the long night of sleep and stood up to head to the bathroom. Once in there, she took a good look at herself, to see a beautiful teenage girl with blond long hair. She fixed her hair a bit and headed to the shower. Once done there, she had brushed her teeth, brushed her hair and made herself look cute.

"Perfect. Today, I'm totally gonna rock. After all, it's the day I turn the big one eight! My compleanos! I'm so totally excited!" She said to herself. She knew that her cheerleading try-outs would happen so she simply dressed in her cheerleader uniform; A blue pink and white bra top with the words "San Romero Knights" on the front of it, a dark blue cheerleader skirt with a red belt, and dark purple tights underneath- -

"Please don't look up my skirt, okay?"

Sorry. Anyway she also wore a black and white wristband on her right wrist, white thigh length socks, red baggy socks, and white n' red tennis shoes. She finally fixed her blond hair in two pigtails and she was now ready to go.

"Oh crap! I'm late! If I'm late, he's sooo not gonna forgive me!" Said the blond girl. She grabbed her long gym bag and ran out of the house as a few of her lollipops dropped out of her bag. She thought about going back for them but then thought she was late enough, she didn't need to waste time! She was out of her house and was riding her bike off to school down the road.

"I wonder what everyone will say when I get there." She thought, "They'll all probably be like, "Oh Juliet, you look so hot today, and your butts not even big at all!" And I'll be like, "Oh stop it! I'm just happy I stick to my strict diet of lollipops." Yeah, that's gonna be like, totally funny, and nothing's gonna ruin this extremely awesome birthday today! Nothing! Not even- -A hoard of zombies?-!"

Juliet was almost to school when she noticed a few people on the street. They were acting…strange as she rode closer to them. Finally she got close enough to realize that they weren't human at all! They were undead, corpse moving and coming to life! They were zombies!

"Oh my God!" Said the blond called Juliet, "What happened here?-!"

She then proceeded to ride through the small crowd of zombies as they each were being run over by the bike itself and their blood flew everywhere, but surprisingly not on Juliet.

"Gross! It smells!" Juliet exclaimed as the blood was a terrible stench to her. Finally a bus had crossed another bus as Juliet was headed right for the two!

"Craaaaappp!-!" Juliet yelled as she hit the buses, but was able to hold on to her bag and flip over the bus with ease! She had landed on the other side of the buses where she came face to face with even more zombies!

"Seriously dude, what the hell?" Juliet said as she put her bag down and pulled from it, a customized, bedazzled chainsaw with heart patterns on the blade and it being bright colors. She charged up the engine on it and the zombies came at her. She then dragged it on the ground with her as she ran to them and started slicing away at each one! Suddenly the area became like space as rainbows and cuteness started to fill the air!

"And on my birthday, too!" Juliet complained, "Like I wasn't late already!"

She then came to one zombie and did a split as she brought the chainsaw to his crotch and brung the chainsaw up to cut him in half! "Gross-" Finally as she made it to the head she used her strength to jump up and cut it in half! "-stupid-" And as she landed she finally said, "-undead douchebag!" Then the zombie split in two with a rainbow coming out of it as it disappeared. Suddenly more crowded her as they got on her and was surrounded her like a swarm!

"OMFG!-!" Juliet yelled as she spun around with her chainsaw and sliced all of the zombies in half using the weight of the chainsaw to spin her strongly! One of the zombie's head's flew into the air, and with right timing, Juliet kicked it as hard as possible as it bounced off garbage cans and into an empty baby carriage!

"How's that for a slam dunk?-!" Juliet said with a smile and a lollipop put into her mouth. Then she revved her chainsaw again as she saw her school gates and also saw the zombies as well behind that gate.

"This is SO irritating!" Juliet said as she ran to the gate and her bloody battle began!

12:20 p.m.

Outside of Romero's school gates, which were completely destroyed, out of the darkened sky in blinding speed, a single trailer came hurtling to the ground and landed in a large crash! As the smoke cleared, the trailer looked battered and beat up. The screen door finally opened as someone stepped out of it. It was a young man no older then nineteen. He had black short cropped hair, and grey blue eyes, along with fair peach skin and a red amulet around his neck. However, he was completely naked and simply didn't bother to care at all. "Fuck…Can't a guy get some sleep around here?"

The guy was simply standing outside of his trailer, when he noticed something off in the horizon. It seemed to be someone…flying? He looked closer to see it was a cheerleader! With a chainsaw! And something on her but…it looked like a head! "Oh yeah, I gotta stop drinking."

Suddenly without warning, he saw something now coming his way. It was red and large as it speed to him like a train! It turned out to be giant letters, spelt together to say and be yelled, "PISS OFF!-!"

The black haired male was then pushed back into his trailer, and his trailer was once again sent flying through the air along with the cheerleader!

After about a few minutes of flying over town, Juliet had brutally landed into a car compost yard! As she finally landed she felt her body was being weightless. "Ow…I wonder if that dropped a few pounds…"

"How does flying through the air help you lose weight?" Said another voice with her that was a male voice. It turned out to be a guy with brown slicked back hair and green eyes. He also had a white brace around his neck along with a little tie. Unfortunately that's all he had as his body was missing and he was nothing but a head, clipped on to Juliet's belt.

"It could!" Juliet objected. "All that vibration from flying could melt the fat and flow it through the rest of your body, thus making you not fat at all!"

"What If the fat has o come out your ass?" Nick said, "If I had an ass, I'd be shitting myself with pain!"

"No time for butt jokes, Nick! We gotta keep going!" Juliet said as she grabbed her chainsaw, and continued on. Soon after, she heard another crash further ahead of her and Nick!

"What the hell was that?-!" Nick yelled.

"Dunno. Wanna find out?"

"NO!-!"

"Okay then, guess we'll have to fight that evil emo dude on our own then." Juliet negotiated.

"We? Gee Juliet, thanks for helping me forget I don't have fist to fight with."

"You're welcome! " Juliet happily said, "Now let's get moving!"

Meanwhile further ahead, the trailer had made a brutal landing and was completely destroyed in the process! Though not much was in there in the beginning, so it wasn't much that was lost. Within the wreckage, the naked black haired male, who was still naked, layed on the ground and aching all over. "Ugh! The fuck was that?-!"

The man looked up, only to find he was not alone in the compost heap. He had plenty of company with the resident zombies that happen to be there. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"Look at that, boys!" One zombie said, "It's not even that big!"

"The hell did you say?-!" The man yelled angrily as he then upper cut the zombie's chin with a double upper kick! From there, he jumped to his feet and handled the zombies around him with street brawling punches and kicks. Each one going down for the count! Finally the black haired man stepped on the one who insulted his "short sword" and arrogantly said, "Not so small now, huh?"

Suddenly from the distance, someone yelled extremely loud and shrieked, "YEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH!-!-!-!"

"What the hell is this shit?-!" The black haired man said, not caring for how loud that yell was. However the yell was so powerful that cars started to crash down on him from above the trash heaps! "Oh great..."

The young man jumped out of the way, as he flew right into his grey tank top that was hanging off a side mirror. From there he did a flip and landed right into his faded dark brown jeans and to the ground. From the distance he heard "I'M PUNK ROCK ZOMBIE ZEEEEEEEEEEEED!-!-! WELCOME TO THE MOSH PIT, YOU ZOMBIE HUNTIN' SLEAZE!-! YOU TOO, YOU PUNK REJECT SHIT!-!-!"

"Guess that's my cue to shut this guy up." The black haired man said.

Then Zed shrieked, "YEAAAAAHHHHH!-!-!" and the words "FUCK YOU" were shot at him, much like the last words!

"Well fuck you too!" The man yelled as he rolled out of the way of the "F" and slipped into his faded dark brown combat boots. From there he jumped forward on the hood of a messed up car to dodge the "U" to where his hands slipped into his black fingerless gloves. He then landed on the other side of the junkyard as the rest of the words missed him. He finally saw a flashing stage up ahead with some pale, red large mohwaked, punk guy was yelling into a microphone!

"So there's the guy that's doin' all this." Dante said to himself.

"I'M GONNA ROCK YO BRAINS OUT!-! LITERALLY -!-!" Zed yelled into his microphone! Then the word "COOZE" Shot out of his mouth! This time, it wasn't aimed for him, but someone on the other side of the junkyard! "Guess I'm not the only one who wants this asshole dead. Let's see if this chick's at least hot."

The young man smirked. He continued down the path, and finally noticed a thick pole that acted as a bridge to the other side of the path. The black haired guy slid down on it and from the side of another car, grabbed his special girls; one of the handguns, black while the other, grey; Ebony & Ivory. From there, the black haired man shot up the remaining zombies that were in his way. Remembering from all those zombie movies he saw, he knew to shot right for the head. Suddenly even more zombies came up from where the last fell!

"Well this sucks." The man said, "So let's turn it up a notch!" The young male hit a nearby car that had a stack of cars on top of it, to which the shockwave hit the top car, and something came flowing down. The black haired man catched and put it on; his faded black, leather, hooded, parka coat with red interior and the Union flag sewn on the left arm. "And now for the final piece." Dante then put his hand out and without warning; something came slicing through the zombies from behind them and straight into the young man's hand. It turned out to be his trusty long metallic, guard less claymore sword; Rebellion! "Now I'm ready."

The man proceeded to swing his sword at the zombies and killing off everyone that stood in his way! Each one was sliced in half and was killed quickly. The black haired male put his sword on his back again and sighed, "That wasn't even fun at all."

Finally he was close enough to jump from where he was to the stage, and close enough to that loud Punk zombie. The black coated male smiled arrogantly as he said, "Time to show this greezer why you don't fuck with Dante the demon and zombie killer." He jumped off the edge to the stage.

Meanwhile, Juliet and Nick had their own problems to deal with as Juliet was slicing through cars and getting closer to the stage as well!

"You know you're kinda hot, when kicking ass, Juliet!" Nick confessed.

"Aww thanks Nick!" Juliet said with a blush. "Now let's get this weirdo! I bet he takes about an hour just to spike his Mohawk in the morning. Needy much?"

Juliet jumped off the edge of a car and landed on the stage where the lights were brightly shinning on. Juliet looked around to find the zombie guy no were around. It was quiet…too quiet.

"I'M GONNA CRUSH YOUR FACE!-!-!-!"

Suddenly, Juliet felt a bad presence from behind her, and jumped out of the way before the punk zombie could slam his mic stick into her head! Juliet luckily dodged it and was ready to fight him now.

"Hahaha! I'm lovin' this shit!" Zed confidently said. Juliet stood from battle stance and was about to eat a lollipop but was interrupted by the loud, ear piercing scream from Zed; "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!-!-! Your ass is mine!-! Mmm I love the smell of almost dead cheerleader in the morning! Yaho- -!-!" Before that sentence could be finished, the black haired male named Dante simply jumped out of nowhere, and dropkicked Zed right in the face! Causing him to fly right to the other side of the stage with a scream and a crash!

"That's for callin' me a reject, you Mohawk wearin' bitch." The black haired swordsman arrogantly said as he lit a cigarette to smoke it. Juliet and Nick looked at this new guy in questioning and curiosity.

"Oh great. Now who's this guy?" Nick complained, "Its better we don't let him know we're-"

"Hey! Sword guy!" Yelled Juliet the black haired male.

"Damnit, Juliet!" Nick groaned.

"Hey!" Juliet called running to him. Dante turned to see the beautiful cheerleader as he thought, "Damn. Now that's what I call a body. A hot blond cheerleader, hunting zombies…with a chainsaw. That's new."

"Thanks for the save, bro." Juliet thanked.

"Save?" Dante wondered.

"CUNT FUCKER!-!" Suddenly more giant letters shot at both of them, but both were able to jump out of the way in time. Dante and Juliet looked to see that Zed was still alive (or undead) and kicking! "That's it, you fuckin' shits! I'm gonna wear both your faces as do-rags now!-!"

"You should wear a tampon instead." Dante insulted, motioning the Mohawk on Zed's head, "The man-gina on your head's bleedin' out." this insult only made Zed even angrier.

"Haha, good one!" Juliet said with a snicker.

"W-Whatever, I could've thought of a better one!" Nick exclaimed.

"Whoa. Where'd that voice come from?" Dante wondered, but quickly ignored it to continue with being ready to fight.

"Wait!" Zed exclaimed, "I know you! You're his son!-!"

"Well, look who's got it all figured out!" Dante sarcastically said, "Guess you'd also like to know my birthday or something?"

"Che! Makes no difference to me!" Zed exclaimed excitedly, "I've always wanted to fight the great and popular son of Sparda!"

"Sparda?" Juliet pondered, as she slowly turned to Dante, who was peeking to see if she was staring at him for answers."As in…THE Dark Knight Sparda?-!"

"Long story." Dante quickly replied.

"PREPARE TO DIE, YOU DIPSHIT CUNTS!-! I'm Punk zombie Zed, and you're dead!-! I'll torture you, like I torture small animals!-!"

"What?-!" Juliet protested, "Torturing small animals?-! What kind of whack job water boards Chip & Dale?-! That makes guy liner here seem like a gentleman!" Juliet motioned to Dante, to which he commented, "I'm right here, blondy."

Juliet then threw up her lollipop only for it to disappear, and Dante threw his cigarette down, and stepped on it.

"Let's get this over with blondy."

"I'm not blondy, dude! It's Juliet, Juliet Starling." Juliet said, revving her chainsaw. "And I already know who you are, Dante." She then pointed her chainsaw at Dante, while smiling confidently, "You're an icky demon. And since I'm a hunter, I'm gonna totally kill you. And trust me, once he's done, your next."

"Heh, can't wait." Dante smiled arrogantly as he pulled out his sword. "But that depends if you can keep up."

"We'll see who can keep up, asshole!" Exclaimed the same male voice Dante heard before.

"Where is that coming from?-!" Dante thought, but put it out of his head again as he and Juliet (and Nick technically) ran at Zed, and the battle of Punks and cheerleaders began!

Done here. This is something that I might continue on, but I don't know. This is my first fanfic with Lollipop Chainsaw so I think it's a good start. Keep a look out for NmC Negima may Cry and Mahou Sensei Pearima as well and please review on how it is. Thanks for your time!

Bye Bye bee~