Warnings: AU, crack-parody fic...Maybe a little OOC-ness, but that's to be expected. Kira's nine in this fic, therefore he has half the life experiences to shape his character. Besides, it's not supposed to be taken seriously (thank god).

A/N: I have no idea why I decided to write this. It's probably the worst case of plot bunnies I've ever had. It's also the quickest fanfic I've ever written...

Disclaimer: Be thankful that I don't own Gundam SEED.

Little Red Riding Kira.

by Mikachuu

Chapter One: Kira's Cooking Adventures.

Deep in the woods where wildlife flourished, there lived a woman named Caridad Yamato and her son Kira. Kira was an extremely kind young boy who liked to bake cupcakes and talk to the animals in the trees. He was only nine years old, which explained why he had the time to do things such as these.

The Yamatos were good friends with the Zala family; however the Zalas lived on the other side of the forest and visits were considered to be excursions of sorts. Athrun Zala, Kira's best friend, had given him a red coat made by his mother. Kira often wore this coat on his many trips to the Zala household, becoming affectionately known as 'Little Red Riding Kira'.

One day, Kira woke up early to preheat the kitchen oven to 180 degrees Celsius. He was baking some special cakes to take to Auntie Lenore's house and needed plenty of time to cook before he embarked on his lengthy expedition. (Technically, Lenore Zala was not Kira's aunt, but what had started out as a nickname seemed to have stuck.)

"What a beautiful morning!" Kira exclaimed, marvelling upon the view of the sunrise through the kitchen window. A mechanical bird swooped down from the ceiling and landed on Kira's shoulder, chirping in affirmation. Torii, as he called it, was yet another gift from Athrun. He had created numerous robotic creatures which threatened to outnumber the creatures that naturally existed in the woods.

Kira hummed to himself as he sifted the flour. Life was grand - he would give Lenore and Athrun plenty of cavities, and in return, Athrun would give him insomnia in the form of one of his robots. He stirred the mixture with his little finger, mixing in all his love and that cold he'd had the previous week; then proceeded to lick the bowl clean after half-filling the patty tins he'd set aside.

Torii whistled a brief melody, indicating that the oven was ready. Kira thanked his metallic friend and carefully placed the trays inside the oven, then went off to prepare for his trip to the Zala's.

Half an hour later, Kira returned to the kitchen dressed in his infamous red coat. He piled the cakes and some sweets into a large basket and covered it with a checkered red and white cloth which matched his attire. Caridad led her smiling son outside and began to lecture him about his trip.

"Now, Kira. Promise me you won't take apples from strangers with pointy noses..." Kira rolled his eyes; he had to withstand the same lecture every time he went to Auntie Lenore's. Half the situations his mother mentioned were the kinds of things that would only occur in a children's story and not in real life - Kira was quite sure he was aware of the difference between the two. Besides, those stories had taught him not to make the same mistakes as their protagonists.

"...and finally, go straight there. Don't take any detours so you can play in the forest with those...animals." Caridad finished. In reality, Athrun's house was about a ten minute walk away; but Kira was one of those easily-distracted children who could spend hours fascinated by an oddly-coloured twig.

Kira let out an exasperated sigh, visibly disappointed. At this rate, he'd end up being lonely if his mother continued barring any contact with his friends. The fact that they were a couple of deer, bluebirds and a Pikachu was irrelevant - Kira was not one to judge others by their appearance. "Oh...alright, mother."

And with that, Kira pulled his red hood over his chestnut hair and began his journey to Athrun's house.

A/N: I...need to cut down on sugar. Please click the review button...no flames.

I'll update soon, I've got the other chapters written out already.