A Confusion of Meanings

Summary: Defining a word for Sora causes misunderstandings for Leon.

Note: This would be with my "10 Things" collection, but since it mentions sex, the rating needed to be a bit higher. The end probably calls for a sequel, too. What do you guys think? ;)

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It was a remarkably quiet afternoon for Sora. He lounged on Leon's couch reading a book he had borrowed from Aerith.

"Leon? Can I ask you something?"

The man grunted an affirmative.

"What does 'ejaculated' mean?"

Leon let his head drop into his palm. "Why do you ask?"

"It's a word in the book I'm reading."

What kind of book, exactly, is Sora reading? Leon wondered. Embarrassed beyond belief, he tried to form a coherent sentence. "It's... um... what happens when a man... ah... reaches, er, completion during, hmm, sex." He felt his face heating up which gave him a good excuse not to turn around and look at Sora.

There were several silent moments and Leon, with much relief, thought that that was the end of the discussion before Sora blurted out, "Uh, Leon, that doesn't make sense."

The man felt as if the vein on his temple was in danger of exploding. "Of course it makes sense! 'Ejaculation' means orgasm, as in 'coming,' 'blowing a wad,' 'climaxing,' and so on!" Seriously, he knew the kid was naive, but to this extent? Teenage boys in Sora's world were evidently much different than those in Leon's.

Sora stared at Leon's back with his forehead creased in bafflement. "That's what it means?"

"Yes!" Leon spluttered. His mortification had coalesced into a hot-and-cold miasma in his stomach and an uncomfortable prickling in his face.

"But-" Sora tried again. He was interrupted as an angry Leon whirled around and confronted him.

"What kind of book are you reading, anyway?! One from Merlin's 'private collection'? Something lent to you by Yuffie? Were you going through the stuff under my bed?!"

Sora blinked, startled at Leon's tone. "It's called Deep Explorations of Strange Caverns: The Memoirs of a Professional Spelunker. Aerith recommended it to me."

"Aerith?" Leon growled in suspicion and surprise. He would never have expected her to have a corrupting influence on the Keyblade's chosen. Hell, he never would have expected her to own a book like that.

"Mmm-hmm," Sora murmured tentatively. "...But are you sure, Leon, that only men can ejaculate?"

Leon peered intensely at Sora. "Of course!" Almost against his will, he ground out the question, "Why?" Sora must be lying, he decided. That book was definitely from Merlin's collection of perverse pornography. The fact that it was a plain brown hardcover tome didn't mean anything; the old wizard frequently charmed the outsides of his recreational reading to hide the fact that he had picked up something less scholarly than a 300-year-old treatise on magical theory or a millennium-old history of a long vanished world.

"I'll read the sentence to you," Sora suggested brightly, convinced that would solve the misunderstanding Leon seemed to have. His cheery voice steamrolled over Leon's weak protestation that he didn't need to. "It says ' "Halt!" she ejaculated.' "

When the sentence was understood by his brain, Leon was too embarrassed to turn red. "Oh," he managed to say, in a voice several octaves higher than normal.

"So does it really mean that whole man/sex/wad thingy?" The teenager asked innocently.

Leon was aware that he was clearing his throat a little too loudly. "Ah, no. It means to say something in a sudden manner."

"Oh!" All evidence of perplexity cleared from his expression. "That makes a lot more sense. Thanks Leon!"

Leon coughed and muttered to himself, "Indeed."

Silence returned for several minutes more. The gunblade wielder thought for sure that the subject was closed and locked and never to be mentioned again when Sora unexpectedly ejaculated: "So Merlin has sex books? And Yuffie? And... you?"

Before Leon could turn around and deny that he was the sort of person to own pornography (despite what was under his bed), he heard a sound like a heavy book hitting the floor and the running footsteps of someone wearing really large shoes.

"SORA!" Leon roared as he ran after the teenager with the vain hope of reaching his bedroom first.

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Author's random musing: Wouldn't it be funny if Merlin had pornography? And wouldn't it be funnier if you could enter the book like you can Winnie the Pooh's? And wouldn't it be absolutely hysterical if Sora accidentally and unknowingly stumbled into that book? (I thought of that while playing KH2 and cracked up. When my boyfriend heard that thought he groaned in horror and accused me of having a dirty mind. Yes I do, and I think the small glimpses he gets of that fact freaks him out sometimes.)