Memories, That's All They Are

xLemonPepperx

An Card Captor Sakura Fanfiction.

Angst/Drama/

Alternative Universe.

I do not own Card Captor Sakura- the Anime, Manga or characters. Only the plot and the following writing am I able to hold to my name.

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Chapter One:

In Which A Star Is Burned

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It was the only place that I felt safe. My own little space where no one could intrude. I was the God, I could bring down my walls and not have to worry about what people would think of me.

Even as I buried my face into my pillow I could still hear my brother, Touya yelling "What's wrong?" from downstairs.

I didn't mean to make him concerned but I just didn't have the strength to go downstairs and tell him. Although we get on alright on the odd occasion he would just tell me "told you so," or something like that. This was my problem and I knew that it was up to me to make it right.

My cards, my life, my burden surrounded me. They always did that when I was down, the heat of their magic allowed me to calm down slightly, enough to get my head together. But still, tears streamed down my face.

It's been ages since I last cried like this, so long ago that no longer could I remember a time.

I felt a presence to my side as I tiled my head slightly to see Kero, by guardian floating silently next to me. He opened his mouth like a fish gaping water. He never has been good with cheering up people. But I suppose that Clow-san was always the one to do that.

"Sakura.." well that was a start, "What's wrong Sakura? Please tell me." I knew that holding it in wouldn't help and Kero had been with my when the times got tough so I suppose that if given the choice to talk to Touya or Kero I would pick Kero.

---------------- Home Is Where The Heart Is ----------------

Once again, and as per usual I walked into class late, the class was already seated and the teacher was just taking the role. My cheeks heated up as I apoligised under my breath, "That's alright," she replied, she was one of the nicer teachers thankfully, "Please take a seat."

It was the first time that Syaoran, Tomoyo and Eriol didn't say anything to me. They didn't even make any eye contact, just bluntly ignored me. I felt a stab of pain but instead of jumping to conclusions I figured that I should wait and ask them later when was going wrong. For all I know something could of gone terribly wrong.

Unlucky the first subject for the day was math's, one that I'm failing at. But at least it gave me as excuse to ask Syaoran for help. He always helps me in Math's because I'm so bad at it, but he never says anything negative about it. He's sweet like that. The teacher handed out the sheets for us to work on and wrote down the instructions on the board.

I opened my book and moved my desk over to where Syaoran sat, he still wasnt looking at me and I was becoming concerned. I leaned over and plastered a smile on my face, "Good morning Syaoran. Is it alright if you help me with my math work?" Syaoran and I were dating and even though we were only pre-teens I felt that our relationship was strong, and I hoped that he felt the same way.

"I'm sorry Sakura, but I'm already working with Virginia," he didn't even look at me as he stood up and walked over to a group of new girls that only transferred a week easier, all of them were sniggering as I blushed deeply, embarrassed but also ashamed that Syaoran would rather work with one of them fiends.

Glancing over at Tomoyo I was going to ask her for help but she was already working with Eriol, completely unaware that I was alone.

---------------- But Where Does My Heart Belong? ----------------

Walking up to the big Sakura tree I thought about my day so far, it was only lunch and all of my friends seemed to be ignoring me. They didn't seem to want to be anywhere near me, like I was some sort of plague. The change of heart made me somewhat depressed, i'd never felt alone like this before and I hated the feeling.

I saw the group sitting there laughing happily, Tomoyo turned her head slightly and saw me, but she said nothing, silence followed my arrival I quietly said hello to the group and only Eriol gave me a small nod, although along with Tomoyo both of their heads were down.

I was about to open my mouth when Syaoran stood up with a start, "Don't talk," he growled. The tone scared me, sure I'd heard him sound like that before, but never to me. I could feel tears stinging behind my eyes. I tired to open my mouth again but Syaoran just grabbed my wrist roughly as I shut my mouth automatically confused beyond belief. "I never loved you. You are an annoying useless excuse for a human. Just like what I said when I first met you, you aren't the card mistress- that was just a fluke. A mistake. Go away- you aren't one of us."

He wasn't yelling but saying it in such a harsh gone, his features hard and no give-always told me that he was lying. It was then that I snapped, I snatched my arm back with such strength that I never knew possessed and slapped him hard on the cheek. He was dumbstruck, staring at me with shock, horror and what I thought was anger clear in his eyes. I glanced over at Tomoyo and Eriol, tears slowly creeping down my cheeks. Both of them were looking down, neither of them standing up for me.

Turning on my heels I raced home, wishing that the Earth would swallow me up, I felt so pathetic, so useless. My only friends, my only love had rejected me. It was at that time that I decided to change. Change my whole heart and I knew that I wouldn't be able to live my life in this place. I knew that I had to move away. The memories, they were just to painful.