Disclaimer: Don't own Helsing. Never will and I'm quite happy at that...just wondering if and when they're gonna do a second series.
Warning: The following may contain some harsh words and some sexy scenes unsuitable for young readers.
Notes: My first and more than likely my last Helsing fic. It's based on the anime and some artistic creativity. Also my first R rated fic! (Just to be on the safe side... has warned me before)

Arucard sat in the quietness of his room, his long legs stretched out on the small wooden table he had managed to aquire many years ago from the Hellsing main kitchen. His hat sat resting on the large 'kingsize poster' coffin, his red duster coat sat forgotten on the floor.

The Jackal, his weapon he had reforged himself, rested in his right hand. Every few minutes, he would bring the muzzle to his temple and hear the empty click of the chamber as he pulled the trigger. He should ask Walter to make him a bigger weapon when the English butler came back.

He was too tired to speak with anyone right now, living or dead. He felt old...too old for this world yet he remained. Bound by his word to the Hellsing family, to his master. The woman who now resided over lordship would never allow him to forget yet nor did she make it a constant reminder of his servatude.

Incognito had worn him out more than he would ever like to admit to anyone alive on the planet. Even his master, Integra seemed to show her humaness, the strain after all she had been through taking their toll. Her cracks were finally showing, she looked tired, worn out. Her unlimited strength drained to the point where she couldn't stand unaided.

If he had to be honest, neither could he. He had crawled out from the battle with Incognito like an animal, his strength failing him. He had spotted his master and his servant sitting a few hundred feet away from the tower and had dragged himself to his feet, not wanting either of his ladies to see him weak. However, Integra must have sensed her servant, she had turned to see him slowly rise to his feet yet she hadn't moved to help him. Her blue eyes filling with tears as she blamed herself further for this mess.

Crimson eyes closed slowly, he would have to speak with Sera in regards to following her master's orders. She should never have allowed herslef to be wounded. She should have listened and she should have concerned herself with Integra and not about arming her master.

If the blasted girl would only drink her blood, take his and then a human life then she would have the same power as him. She would not have curled up like a pathetic human and cried for him. She had been told that no monster could kill him, only a man could ever have that honour.

It was rare that he didn't wear his gloves or his usual charcoal grey suit, tonight opting for his red form fitting clothing. He was far too tired to even bother dressing tonight, knowing that any missions would be cancelled for the forseeable future. His fingers toying with the heavy metal buckles, his long raven hair touching the stone floor as he leaned back on the wooden chair.

He should go up and check on his master yet he had a feeling she would prefer to be alone for the night. Everyone it seemed was losing themselves in thoughts and regrets. Seras Victoria, for once hadn't came running to him for advice or even called for him since they returned to the Hellsing manor.

Perhaps she's thinking about how to get our master out of the current mess we have landed into, he thought, a heavy sigh escaped his lips.

His lips curled into a slight smile, Seras would never see this side to him. The human...the vunerable part to his being. Integra on very rare occassions would be blessed with the honour yet he never wanted to burden her any more than what she was at the moment. His master's mind was focused on trying to dig the Hellsing name out of the deep shit they had been plunged into.

The little girl he had protected all those years years still needed him, yet he had failed her when she had needed him. He had taken to long to pull himself together, to long to hear the cry of his master calling out for him.

Yet, when he did, he had raced to the master's side. He had been there in seconds, those seconds were something that Seras could have used instead of opting to blow up the Tower of London or from crying over his spilt blood.

Stop blaming the child, a voice from deep within chided, Weren't you the one who told her to have fun and enjoy herself? To show how much the humans had pissed her off for killing Ferguson and her team?

He stood up slowly, opening his eyes slowly. He found himself wanting to be in some company, he never liked listening to his own voices in his head. They always told him things he never liked hearing.

He searched for Integra using his mind, trying to guage how the young woman was feeling right now.

The young woman was sleeping, dreaming a dreamless sleep. She needed a chance to relax, to show herself as she truly was.A stunningly attractive young lady who was forced to hide behind her masculine job.

It was then that he decided that he would disobey the order she had set for him, he would go and give her some company.

Hellsing master bedroom...

Soft sobs could be heard from the master bedroom of the Hellsing manor, nothing seemed to control them as the young woman shook with both fury and sadness as the tears controlled her.

She was miserable and misery, they claimed, loved company. Integra, however, loathed company. She didn't want anyone seeing her looking like she was now.

Her usually clear blue eyes were red rimmed and puffy. Her sleek, straight blonde heair was ruffled and tied back in a roughly made pony tail.

How could she have been so foolish? She should never have went to the tower, she should have stayed exactly where Arucard had told her. He knew that this was the only way that the battle would go down and she had blatently ignored the warning of the thousandyear old monster.

Walter was in hospital, recovering from the helicopter crash that had nearly taken his life. Seras was resting in her room and Arucard...she had seen him crawl from the battle that had destroyed the Tower of London. Both had exchanged brief looks of pain and regret. She had shown him a far weaker side by allowing tears to spill and he by showing that even the undead can't walk away from every fight.

She had lost everything ever since the Valentine brothers had entered in the inner santum of the Hellsing house and killed everything living soul they had gotten their fithly hands on. Arucard had muttered something about encountering a pathetic opponent in the basement levels and had said nothing more about it.

She had taken care of the multi peirced Luke by aiming and firing some mercury tipped bulletts into his smiling face. How dare he call her the 'whoring little bitch'. What would they have done to her if she had been taken by them?

Like she had once said to a younger Arucard, she would never bow to a vampire. She would never be turned into a mindless ghoul either. It would be a damn cold day in hell before the Hellsing's bowed to the army of the dead.

"You should be resting," a smooth yet tired voice entered through the silky darkness of her room.

Integra sat a little straighter in her bed, her blue eyes trying to locate the form of Arucard in the darkness. As always, the hunt always ended in failure. The vampire getting too good at the game of hide and seek.

"I'm not tired," she lied, she heard the vampire give out a soft tired laugh.

Arucard came into view in the dark room, his eyes were always the first thing his master noticed and then followed by a brief white smile. The slender man sat on the edge of the bed, sensing how tense the woman became. He frightened her when he acted so...human or was it because she had almost been taken by a monster who wanted to voilate every part of her being?

"I'm not like Luke or Incognito," he whispered, "I swore that I would protect you. You shouldn't fear me."

A shaky smile formed on the lips of his master, "...I know. Arucard...I don't mean to be rude but I thought I made myself clear that I didn't want company?"

Arucard fell back on the bed, causing Integra to take a sharp intake of surprised air. Surely she didn't mean that he was not invited? He didn't want company but if it stopped the voices in his head then he would stay with the human until she fell asleep. He wouldn't leave her this time. If they sat in silence then that would also be acceptable for him, they didn't need words.

He was still annoyed and angry at himself for allowing the Buvanche to almost take his master's life. That freak had drank Integra's blood because he was to busy trying to locate the new enemy that had graced the small island he and the British populance called home. He had been too wrapped up in trading words with Incognito to fully realise that he had been tricked into coming to the castle.

No matter how strong an act the woman put on, she had been attacked in her own home and that made her feel vunerable. It was understandable, she was only human after all.

"Everything I would do here would be your choice," Arucard closed his eyes, he could feel how close his master's shapely and always hidden legs were. How warm she was through the covers of the bed and he found himself missing the warmth of a woman.

He had chosen Sera as a possible companion through out eternity, only to find that the girl still clung to her humanity. She was to submissive and would never truly be like him. He had also discovered that no one could replace the feeling he had for his master. It was more than respect...it was hard to put into words yet here he was trying to.

"Why is it that I only get freaks who want to..." Integra frowned a little trying to recall the words of the passion killers, "want to fuck me, shoot me in the head and fuck me some more or my personal favorite, voilate every part of my being or...this is the killer one, I get lesbian vampires who have a thing for licking my breasts?"

Arucard rested on his elbows, surprised at the woman for using such language and for talking about such a subject. His master was still untouched by men, she still held onto her virginity with such fierce pride and she refused to allow a lesser man to take it from her. Who would be the lucky bastard to tame the fire in Integra?

If I had you...I would treat you like the queen you are, Arucard smiled, "You play hard to get. Men feel threatened by that."

"You don't," Integra moved her legs away from the vampire's reach, "If I recall, you tried to bed me when I was barely legal."

A wolfish smile spread on her servant's face, "If I recall, you were the one who was making all the moves. I was being a gentleman by not refusing a lady."

Finally, a laugh came from the throat of Hellsing's mistress. The sound made Arucard feel slightly more rested, more relaxed. It had been too long since she had last laughed so freely, perhaps they should just talk of the past? Happy memories that they could both relish in.

"Walter looked horrified when he came in and saw me in nothing but your shirt," Integra smiled, wiping away the dried sorrowful tears, but her eyes threatened to spill more when she thought about her trusted friend.

Arucard copied her laugh, "He looked like he was ready to scalp me until I explained that you had been...too eager to spin round like a merry go round and had threw up."

The reply to that was a playful slap with a pillow, causing the vampire to collapse onto the bed as he attempted to defend himself with the same weapon. Glad for the chance to act like a child, to try and forget the pain of the past few days.

"Huh...I didn't throw up," Integra sounded indignent, "I never throw up. Ladies do not throw up."

"Of course..." Arucard teased, "Your stomach merely expelled some unwanted guests."

Another hit with the pillow was the come back, "Stop teasing me."

The undead King moved further up the bed, knowing he had at least some of her trust back. The pillow weapons sat inbetween them, keeping them away from each other. He could smell the tears she had cried. He wanted to make her feel better, to make her smile.

He moved in, closing the space between them. Integra felt her back pressing against the bedpost as the vampire's face was inches away from her's. She could see the unspoken desire in them, she could feel that Arucard wanted to be with her, to be her important first.

"Arucard..." her throat suddenly seemed two sizes to small as she tried to swallow.

Her servant purred, "Yes?"

It took all her strength to deny the vampire what he wanted, what she wanted as well. This was a man who had watched her mature into who she was today and had still remained and wanted her. She could see all the promises in his crimson eyes as he searched her face for the question that she was going to say.

She swallowed again, "Do you...really want me? After all that I have done, everything that has happened..."

She was silenced when the vampire kissed her lips softly, his hands were currently occupied with keeping him upright yet that didn't stop him from moving in for a second and a third kiss.

"I wanted you the very first day you fell into my life," he whispered, "And every day since then, every slow, excruciating, passing year and forever more."

Integra felt her cheeks burn with embarressment, "It's amazing at what playing hard to get does for the male sex drive."

"I have a question for you," Arucard searched her eyes, enjoying how innocent they looked, "Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the blood red roses?"

The answer was shaky, as though she didn't trust her own judgement in the matter. Unsure if it was her own feelings or if her body was finally succumbing to the years of flirting the pair had done over the years.

She trusted him, he had always been there for her. Always coming to the rescue when she had called him. He had been the one to help her through the difficult times when the Knights had questioned her and refused to follow her orders.

Her answer came out in a rushed breath, "...yes."

The choice of question was not lost on either of them. It was like asking her to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight, she had done that as well. A few nights after her eightteenth birthday, she had snuck out for a fly smoke and had been caught by the vampire who had refused to attend.

They had danced in the moonlighted garden, the music playing faintly in the background and she had almost given in to his request back then.

He always asked the question every year, never on the same day or month as the one previous but it was asked without fail. Tonight would be different though, she would finally allow them to both indulge in their dreams.

Arucard pulled her into another but deeper kiss, exploring the sweet taste of his master...no...his lover right now. He could feel the nervousness of her as she smiled shakily into the kiss.

They were both equals now and he knew for certain that hehad the young woman's blessing when he felt her moan in pleasure when he slipped his hand under her nightshirt. Her body arching under his touch as he slowly trailed his fingers down her sides.

He was going to be her first and he was going to make it the most pleasureable of nights for the woman. He would make her scream his name in passion and he figured the young woman, who was a virgin but was a well read girl, could make him cry out as well.

Integra lost herself to Arucard's touch, wondering how long she could hold out before she demanded more and took control of the situation. Arucard might be well versed in the ways of love making yet he was touching her in a place that was more ticklish than arousing.

She guided the vampire's warm kisses to the base of her jaw, making herself vunerable to any bites the vampire might make but found that Arucard had hit the jackpot, she moaned as he sucked and nuzzled at the spot under her jaw. Shivers kept running up and down her spine as she enjoyed the attention she was getting.

This was something her tutors could never teach her, not one of her boarding school friends or Walter. This was something only Arucard had the honour of, she had fantasised about how soft and warm the touch would be. How he tasted, how he felt.

"Are you enjoying this?" Arucard purred, his hands moving further down to Integra's hips. He gave her a wolfish grin when he kissed her lips again, "It will only get better, I promise you."

His master had no intelligable responce, she moaned when Arucard went back to nuzzling her neck and his hands...god! His hands went back to exploring her body and taking their sweet time when they came across her breasts. Her body arched again in responce to the touches he was applying and found she didn't want this to end.

If this is what the Vatican knights class as sinful, Integra purred when Arucard unbuttoned the first of many buttons and kissed every growing part of exposed flesh, then it's a very nice paved road to hell...

Something wet splashed on her face and exposed chest, causing her to sit up suddenly. Arucard sat up, blinking in a mixture of confusion and surprise. A large sword stuck out from the vampire's throat, a second one sliced through the skin to emerge just above the vampire's heart.

Integra found her throat refused to cooperate, she couldn't even manage a squeak of surprise or horror. Who could have gained access into her bedroom without either occupant knowing?

Two more swords cut their bloody way through the unfortunate vampire's form, Arucard seemed helpless to do anything as he sat and jolted everytime a sword peirced him.

"May the impure souls be sent to God where they can beg for forgivness in His eyes," an unmistakable Scottish accent sneered, "May God have mercy on Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing and her pet abomination as all are equal in His eyes."

Integra managed a horrified scream as Arucard fell off the bed, his eyes wide yet strangly blank and lifeless. Father Paladin Alexander Anderson made his way in the moonlight to the bed, his booted feet breaking every bone in the lifeless vampire's hands. The undead king made no move to stop the Catholic priest, no move or words to tell him to stop.

Integra held her breath as Anderson's boot crushed the skull of her protector, she could only watch as her throat seemed to stop doing anything of it's own free will. More blood splattered agaisnt her face as her eyes filled with tears.

"And now, Sir Hellsing," Anderson flipped another one of his swords into his hand, "I would normally perform the Last Rites to those who know they are about to die but as this is a Prodestant country, as you keep reminding me when we meet, I don't have to."

Anderson raised the weapon, allowing Integra the chance to see her scared reflection before he plunged forward...

Master office...

She screamed as she woke up, startling away from the touch of the person who had rescued her from her nightmare. A small china tea cup crashed to the floor, spilling the hours old Earl Grey Tea. It took her a few moments before she calmed down. Her long blonde hair falling over her face as she leaned forward, trying her best to tame her heartbeat.

"Are you alright?" the young woman who had rescued her looked at her master, her red eyes taking in the dark room.

Integra frowned, "What are you doing in my office?"

Seras made a weak motion with her hand, "I...I was walking by downstairs and I heard a scream. I came up because I didn't want..."

A repeat performance of Laura...the Hellsing lady ran a shaky hand through her hair, knowing that any movement she made would be caught by the fledgling vampire.

"I can take care of myself," Integra raised her head slightly, trying to instil some of the fear that she knew she could give when she was speaking to the newer members.

Seras opened her mouth to say something but was interupted by a male voice, "Hm, of course you can but it never fails to amuse me that you always get yourself into more trouble that way."

Fuck off, Integra shot the raven haired vampire a dirty look, smoothing her hair down as she switched on the small desk lamp.

Arucard said nothing as he made his way silently through the dimly light office. His lips were pulled back in a grim smile as he briefly gazed at the large portrait of Sir George Hellsing above the real coal fire, dark blue eyes gazing intently at some point on the other wall.

The undead king stopped, taking the time to stare at the eyes. The man's grandfather had fought him, only to survive because Arucard knew a strong warrior when he fought one. Both beings had agreed to a bizarre form of peace between the two species, neither would agree to why they had.

He had simply grown weary of trying to run from Van Helsing, both were tired from their long life. They wanted rest and Arucard had given the feared hunter that rest. He had killed the hunter but that had caused the small pebble that turned into an avalanche later on in his unlife.

Van Helsing had cursed the vampire, with his last breath, swearing that as long as his decendants drew breath, Arucard would forever be a slave to the humans. He had been tempted to start killing off the line but he found that they possessed an extra ordinary abiblty and passion for saving life...they also loathed the Vatican, the Warriors of God turning their backs on the Hellsing name when her great grandfather had saved the life of a monster.

"What do you want Arucard?" the image of the vampire's skull being crushed still dancing around in front of Integra's eyes.

The undead king shrugged in his usualbored way, "I saw Police Girl."

"Both of you, out of my office. Now," Integra stood up, placing her hands on the desk to steady herself, "I made it clear that I wanted to be alone this evening."

It was Seras who still continued to disobey her master's master, "I think we allcould do withsome company. Whether we want to admit it or not."

Integra crossed her arms, not impressed at the fact that two of her trusted soldiers were not paying much attention to orders. She didn't want company, she knew that. All she wanted was some time to think about how to explain to the Queen why Arucard felt it was absolutely necessary to destroy the Tower of London.

"I don't care if you and Arucard want to start a limbo dancing club," she turned her back to them, "I still want you to leave me alone."

A smooth laugh could be heard from Arucard, he could feel how tired his master was yet she still put on a show of strength. No one would really ever see how vunerable the young woman could be. Not even when she was faced with the toughest of enemies, she was still a true Helsing.

"As you wish," the male vampire gave her a mock bow, he turned away from Seras, "Come on, Police Girl."

Arucard...Integra sighed, knowing full well that the undead king had heard her and was going to return when he had tucked in Seras for the evening.

Outside the office...

Seras looked at her master with questioning eyes, how could he just leave her like that? Sir Integra needed someone to talk to, how could her master just walk away when his own master needed him?

Arucard raised a dark eyebrow, "Why are you looking at me like that Police Girl?"

"Why didn't you say something to her?" Seras stopped, watching her master take a few slow steps down the stairs before stopping.

Arucard raised his head, what he had to say wasn't something for her ears. Police Girl didn't have to hear every word he said to his master, just like Integra didn't hear what they talked about.

"She's a very private person,' the nosferatus crossed his arms, "and she has had enough of her dirty laundry aired in public for her liking. Everything she has done for this country is now under scutiny and she doesn't like it."

Neither do I but nothing short of killing the entire Knights of the Round Table will resolve this problem,Seras frowned, who had betrayed them? Who had called the army in, knowing the Queen wasn't at the Tower of London?

"So what do we do?" Seras placed her hands on her hips.

The vampire who sired her said nothing as he walked down the stairs. They would do nothing until they were called upon by Integra.

"Master...Arucard," Seras whispered, "We need to show that she still has control."

She doesn't need to be shown she has control, that would make her doubt herself even further, the vampire sighed.

Arucard turned round partly, "We leave her until she is ready. She know's exactly what she is doing, so we wait."

Seras shook her head, "I don't know..."

Neither do I but what else can we do? I may be powerful but time travel is not something I can master, Arucard turned his head back to the office, this is a battle that all we can do is watch.

Master office

Integra stood on the balcony of her office, her mind running through all the nasty things that had happened to her over the past month or so.

Everyone had stood by her, her trusted friends had died or gotten severly hurt because of her. They had claimed that they had done it for her, that it was okay, as long as she was okay. That they were perfoming the orders of the Helsing's.That was the main thing.

But it wasn't. It wasn't okay, she wasn't okay. Everything had went tits up and she was left holding a rather nasty hand that Lady Luck had dished out for her.

That dream...she could still feel the vampire's touch agaisnt her skin. His blood as it had splattered agaisnt her face and onto her chest.

Why is it that even when I show how I feel in my dreams, people still get killed? Am I cursed? Do I not deserve love?

"You do," the object of her thoughts voiced.

The soft breeze caught her hair, her silver cross catching off the moonlight. Her glasses sat on the table, giving her tired eyes more of a strain as she struggled to look for the vampire.

At least in her dreams she had perfect vision. In her dreams, she could lose herself and be the woman that she fought so hard to hide when confronted with the normal day to day running of the Helsing house.

She had to show the Knights of the Round Table that she was a force to be reckoned with, she had to fight with them just for them to even acknowledge her position, that she wasn't some weak female who would roll over at the first sign of trouble.

When she felt depressed, which was more and more often now, she always thought her father had wanted a boy. Her mother had died when she was young so she never had a sibling, her father never had a son.

Her entire life had been based around fighting the supernatural, every day of her childhood had been learning of all the evil demons in the world. Weapons training had came after her father died.

"You understand why I can never allow this to happen again," Integra whispered, "That dream...you gave me...can't happen."

"I only gave you so much of the dream," Arucard frowned, he hadn't planned on Anderson making a guest appearence nor his helplessness.

He was powerful but he could only mould the dream so far before his master started moulding it herself. Had she wanted Anderson to make an appearence or was she just scared of losing control?

"Anderson?" Integra turned round, leaning agaisnt the railing on the balcony, "Was he mine or yours?"

Arucard gave her a brief flash of a smile,the smile quickly dropping as he delivered the line deadpan"I have a secret thing for the rabid priest."

So the crazed bastard was my creation, the Helsing mistress's shoulders sagged, she was hoping that the vampire had been trying to make a point.

"I can't afford to show any more weakness, to screw up any more than I have right now. My father would never have allowed this to happen," Integra tightened her hands into fists.

The vampire servant walked to her, "The Vatican feels threatened because there is a woman at the head of a very powerful organisation."

"Quit trying to flatter me," Integra scolded, her voice hardening as she sensed the vampire trying to mock her.

Arucard frowned, no matter what he said, she would take offence. She would doubt herself.

"Why did you even think I would be interested in dreaming?" Integra wasn't going to let the vampire away with invading her privacy the way he had.

"Interested in dreaming with you? With having sex with you?" she crossed her arms, "What gave you the right, you arrogant bastard?"

The vampire shrugged, "I needed company and if I recall, you weren't exactly fighting me off."

"Bite me," Integra retorted, feeling foolish for saying it and the look in her vampire's eyes looked like he was seriously weighing up the possible option.

Arucard stayed out of her reach, "Youhumans are incredibly difficult to decifer."

Speak for yourself. You're the one who's hard to figure out,Integra walked back into her office, brushing by her protector.

His touch kept coming back to her mind, her body suddenly wanting to have him administer the same soothing touches he had done in his dreams. Her heart begging her to give in just this once to her body and to Arucard.

She stopped as she reached the open double doors, trying to work up the courage to ask the question that kept drifting back to thesurface. Everytime the first word crept to her lips, it stopped.

"Would you offer your throat to the wolf with theblood red roses?"Arucard called after her as she entered the office, wondering if she would respond the way she did in her dream.

Integra paused for a split second, desperately wanting to say yes. To fall into his arms and just forget the world existed but she knew she couldn't.

If she couldn't find happiness in her the solace of her dreams and even when Arucard had manipulated it, then there was no way she would ever get when she was in the cold harsh light of reality.

She closed her eyes, blinking back tears as she gazed at the picture of her beloved father. She couldn't give the vampire what theyboth wanted and still remain true to the Helsing name. It was one or the other.

Happiness and love would be something that would be forever out of the grasp of one Sir Integra Wingates Helsing.

Her final word for the night seemed to hurt her more than all the scrapes, cuts and bruises she had collected over her life as she walked with her head low.

"No."

If it's any good let me know, please? Cid Dante xx