Talks With Death
By Mellaithwen
Rating: K+
Genre: Angst/General
Spoilers: End of s6
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to moi. The stanza mentioned belongs to Robert Browning Hamilton.
Summary: Lingering down in limbo, Chris and The Angel of Death have a chat.
Spoilers for the end of s6. Another vignette inspired by quotes
"One must care about a world one will never see." - Bertrand Russell
"Christopher Halliwell, now you I've heard of." The voice came to him through the bleak surroundings of nothing-ness. It seemed dim here, gray and foreboding. A fearful look into a truly deserted world. He didn't bother to look around. He had a feeling someone would be coming for him soon enough.
"Yup, we Halliwells are quite famous, but I'm just a baby so-."
"Au contraire, your family is infamous, and I have had the pleasure of meeting many of its members. But you, you come with even more history."
Chris turned to look at the man, his hair, dirty blonde and short, but still long in comparison to a traditional barbers cut.
"What you did was quite something. Quite noble. And believe me, I have most definitely heard of you."
Chris stared at the figure in black.
"You're quite the start to a conversation. All that you did, the selfless acts, the sacrifices. So strong and yet so young. You saved the world, you know? You saved the future, and you'll grow up none the wiser. I doubt your parents would tell you about all of this."
Chris looked down.
"Not to mention the great feat of managing to surprise me, which I assure you does not happen often. So predictable are the human race. Always intent on revenge, or vengeance, most of which is directed at me, or what they perceive to be my doing but death is a part of life."
"How did I surprise you?" Chris asked curiously, seeing that the Angel was beginning what could only be predicted as a long tirade, with years of practice.
"When a person is meant to die, their name appears on my list. It is no surprise that unborn children appear on my list. Some tragedies are just so. But to have a new born appear on the list, but to in actual fact be some twenty-three years older is quite something."
Chris nodded dumbly. He supposed that this Angel enjoyed the silky sound of his serpent like voice, and let him talk, even if he wasn't listening.
"But time travel is risky."
As if he didn't already know.
"Aren't you supposed to be quiet? I mean the poem goes-." Chris began, his thoughts trailing to random memories imprinted onto his brain.
"I am not sorrow solidified, and therefore you can learn nothing from my silence, nor am I pleasure-."
"But you're talking as much as pleasure and so far you're leaving me none the wiser for all you have to say." Chris couldn't stop the grin, He was enjoying the chance to retort with his quick wit once more.
"Interesting how some quotes stay timeless, isn't it?"
"I was in a morbid mood when I came across it. It's the kind of stanza that sticks."
"Indeed. What did you learn when you walked with Sorrow."
"Nothing I didn't already know."
"Really?"
"I guess, I learnt to accept it, but that's it."
"Surely you see that as a lot."
"I guess."
"You don't seem to realize the affects of big things." Chris could see the conversation was changing slightly. "Coming here at all could have reset the balance, your very existence hung in the balance, so much so that you were considered a 'special case'."
"Yeah," Chris swallowed. "Lucky me."
"Yes, lucky you. Some children who have dying for years are not even graced with that kind of attention, but you, you weren't dying, you were fading out of existence. Every atom of your being becoming one with the world around you. You wouldn't go on to whatever the land of the dead has in store, but you would just go. A fate far worse than death. I should know, it's what I do."
Chris thought back to Clarence. And then to the stinging words of his aunt, that at the time hadn't bothered him, words he barely registered but now, remembered loud and clear.
"I just think that we have to face the reality that Chris' destiny might have been just to come here and warn us about Wyatt, and that's all."
"Your family is notorious for meddling though. Ridiculous really. I met your Aunt once, before her death, annoyed quite a bit I should think. But then when it was her time, it was very different. I make it a point of mine to be more bearable when I'm taking them away from all they hold dear." His tone was somber, no longer sarcastic and mocking. "She seemed surprised to see me. Almost as though she expected me to retire." He smiled slightly.
He looked back at Chris then.
"You are young, but you are not the youngest. And you may think I am being cruel, but I know you just as your mother and your father do. I know that you long for someone to take your mind off of the inevitable. And seeing as you are a special case," He smiled. "I'm taking your mind off of that which is to come."
"And what's that? What is to come?"
"You hate surprises, but what you hate even more is when someone spoil's what had the very intention of being a good surprise."
"This is freaking me out."
"And yet, you seem as calm as ever."
"It's a trait."
"A deceiving one."
"I thought you were neutral."
"I am, I am not against you, I am merely saying out loud what you yourself have thought from time to time."
"At least you're not telling me to live my day to the fullest," Chris said bitterly. But the Angel shook his head. "No, but I wish I had the chance."
A silence reigned before Chris decided to answer with his own excuse.
"Maybe it is deceiving or maybe it's just sparing others of the burden of my emotions."
"What if they want the burden? What if they want more than anything to take it away from you, to help you?"
"Then they should try by making the problem go away."
"How can they when they don't even know what it is?"
Another silence, one that neither would now break, willingly.
"Come, we've waited long enough. It's time."
He held a hand out and Chris looked at him skeptically. This was up there with Good Barbas helping them out. But he remembered how he had reacted to that.
"Don't touch me!"
And he almost said it now, but thought better of it.
If he took his hand, then that was it. All ties would be broken and he'd go forward to god-knows where. Maybe he was just going to vanish like his body had, and they were just dragging out what had to be done. The Angel of Death had been right, Chris did long for someone to take his mind off of the inevitable, but it seemed even The Grim Reaper had to stop at some point. Their sarcastic small-talk was wearing thin, and Chris knew he had to do this. Because it was right, and that, annoyingly enough, was what he was all about. Doing what was right, even if it hurt like hell.
He let out a breath.
"I know it's a cliché, and one your probably would not appreciate. But there really is nothing to afraid of."
"Easy for you to say, you're not the one about to let go of everything."
"You already have let go, you just haven't realized it yet.It's time." He repeated the words from earlier, and Chris gulped, reaching out, grabbing the hand offered to him firmly, well aware that it might be the last thing he ever touched, ever felt. He held onto it as his last lifeline, because essentially, it was, even if he was already dead.
He saw the reassuring smile, but it did nothing to qualm his fears. A small portal opened in front of them, and Chris had enough experiences with these things to know one was expected to walk through them. He hadn't had the time to wonder about any afterlife, it never really occurred to him to do so, I mean, he had met his Great-grandmother in the past, and he knew of the stories his mother had told him about his grandmother returning. But his mother never came, or his Aunts. Maybe he just wasn't supposed to see them. He didn't know, he didn't care, it wasn't something the living should worry about, but yet, here he was forced to accept it. He took a deep breath and fell into step with the Angel, his guide, as he was led through the portal to the unknown world of life after death.
"I feel no need for any other faith than my faith in the kindness of human beings. I am so absorbed in the wonder of earth and the life upon it that I cannot think of heaven and angels." – Pearl S Buck.