Only Fools Fall in Love
Chapter I
Claire de Lune Rocks!
BPOV
The sun was beating down on my back, the heat penetrating through my t-shirt making me uncomfortably hot. I sat up, laying my book to one side; I brought my knees up to my face and rested my chin against them.
I inspected the other visitors to the park. Most were lying around on brightly covered blankets enjoying the weather. The sun hardly ever made an appearance in Forks and when it did, its inhabitants certainly made the most of it. Everyone knew that it wouldn't last long.
So, why I was here? Well, it's a pretty long story which essentially revolves around my love for Edward Cullen.
'Who is Edward Cullen? I hear you ask?
I'll tell you!
Edward Cullen is the object of my desire(s). He is perfect in every single way! From his 'just got out of bed' messy bronze hair to his strong jaw line, his luscious lips, perfect teeth and his dazzling emerald eyes which are framed by the longest eyelashes you have ever seen. When he talks his voice makes you weak at the knees and when he walks his muscles ripple subtly under his impeccable taste in designer clothes.
Unfortunately, my love is not reciprocated mainly due to the fact that he doesn't even know I exist.
So, my best friend and confidante Alice and I have cooked up a plan which would firstly ensure that Edward Cullen knew who I was. From there, I was assured, Edward would fall in love with me, and we would get married, have babies and live happily ever after.
Anyway, Alice had spent hours doing her homework which would ensure that our plan would work. She had flirted (outrageously if you ask for my opinion) with Edward's friend Jasper and had managed to find out all of Edward's interests, his hobbies, his preferences in music, food even toothpaste. Oh, and every Sunday afternoon at noon he would meet his friends at the local park for a game of soccer. Today was no different, except that Edward's friends were not going to show up on time this particular afternoon. Alice would see to that!
Most importantly, she had ascertained his taste in woman. Tall, slim, preferably brunette, non smoker and of course most importantly Edward's ideal woman had to be a thinker. An intellectual!
I am quite tall, 5"6 to be precise, I'm a natural brunette and I do not smoke, although I admit I once tried but it made me sick. I'm average looking although Alice has informed me on more than one occasion that if I made more of an effort I could be 'stunning'?
As for intelligence, well, I'm not the class idiot by any means but I'm hardly Harvard material either. I know lots about the things that interest me like cars, rock music (Avenged Sevenfold, I am not worthy) and movies but less about the things that hold no interest for me such as books and classical music but then isn't that true about everyone?
I'm a clumsy klutz too! I can trip over thin air spectacularly and have done so on several thousand cringe worthy occasions. I talk too fast and have a habit of not actually thinking about what I am going to say before I say it.
So, part of the plan was to give Edward the impression that I wasn't (as my father often described me) a sandwich short of a picnic' and in fact I was a sophisticated woman of the world who was well read, had good taste in music and with whom Edward could engage in conversation about world affairs and other high brow topics.
Alice was confident that the plan was robust as long as I followed it to the letter.
All I had to do was make sure I followed the simple 3 phased plan of action.
Easy!
Just then, my cell phone began to vibrate. I fished it out of my jean pocket.
"Hello." I answered. The gravity of what I was about to do hadn't hit me yet, so I was in quite a jovial mood.
"Bella, its Alice." She trilled. "Over."
"Over what? " I enquired uncertainly.
"You say over when you finish a sentence silly. " She replied her tone insinuating that I should have really known this. "Over."
I was a little perplexed "Why would you say over when we finish a sentence? "
"They just do." She stated tersely. "Over."
"Who does? " I was still unsure as to what she was talking about.
"Spies, secret agents, members of the armed forces." I could tell she was getting a little exasperated with my ignorance of espionage etiquette. "Over."
"Oh okay Alice. " I acknowledged. "Over."
Alice let out a sigh. "Good! Now are you in place? She demanded.
You forgot to say over." I was getting the hang of this now. "Over".
"Good God Bella." She screeched. "Just follow the plan. Rodger! "
That threw me.
"Who's Rodger? " I enquired.
"You say Rodger to acknowledge that you've understood. I haven't got the time to explain. Listen up, I can only stall Jasper and his friend for a while Bella. Do you understand? We only have a twenty minute window." She barked.
"Oh okay. Over. Rodger!" She was beginning to make me feel nervous now and the reference to windows was making me even more confused.
"Bella! She shrieked. "GO !GO! GO!"
I was just about to ask her where I was going when I realised that this meant that now was the time to put Operation Cullen' into action.
Operation Cullen was live!
Phase 1. Grab his attention!
Up until this point, my nerves had been in check but they were now starting to get the better of me.
Please don't throw up! Please don't throw up!
Don't panic! Breathe! Stick to the plan!
I pressed play on my iPod, popped my ear buds in and picked my book up flicking to the page that I wanted. I could see Edward making his way along the trail that snaked through the park towards me (well actually towards the rendezvous point he had arranged with Jasper and Emmett which I was coincidently now at). He stopped barely five feet away from where I was sat.
Alice had told me that Edward was really into opera and classical music and that he would really be impressed if I was acquainted with it too.
However, the only opera I knew was the track 'Time to say goodbye' from my favourite film 'Wanted'.
Ooh, James McAvoy!
Those baby blue eyes, his freckles, the smile, his body…
How easily I was distracted!
Anyway, I had downloaded the Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman version.
"Time to say goodbye, la la la la la la la." I crooned. I had practiced in the shower and even if I did say so I, my soprano wasn't half bad!
Surely, that was loud enough for him to notice me.
I sat there for a few moments and nothing!
Stupid plan!
Feelings of self doubt were beginning to take over where the panic had subsided. Why would Edward Cullen approach me just because I was sat in the park, reading a book, singing stupid songs that no one understood?
I was Bella Swan, plain, boring and quite frankly a little pathetic. The plan had serious flaws. I made a mental note to tell Alice how much this plan sucked!
I played with the controls on my iPod adjusting the volume slightly. I looked up and noticed a pair of denim clad legs approaching me. I allowed my gaze to slowly make their way up until I reached the face and oh my!
My heart juddered to a stop for a few seconds before it began to beat again. Edward Cullen, the most beautiful man in the world, no, the universe was stood before me.
I could see his mouth moving but I couldn't hear him. Then, I remembered that I had ear buds in so I reached up and ripped them out.
However, I couldn't see him clearly because the sun was shining directly in my eyes and it took me a few moments to adjust the lids of my eyes so that I could view him in all of his glory.
His bronze hair was playing gently in the breeze inviting me to run my hands through it, his smile was wide and crooked, those full red lips which I so very much wanted to kiss and his tight t-shirt which hinted suggestively that his body was just as beautiful as his face and those green eyes….
"Mmm!" All thoughts of James McAvoy had gone!
"Hello." His voice was all smooth and mellow and made the hairs on my neck stand up.
OH MY GOD! The plan was working. Alice was a fucking genius! He was speaking to me! Keep calm, breathe, and don't panic. Stick to the plan!
Phase 2. You are a mystery, an enigma!
According to Alice and the old woman from Titanic 'a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets.' So, by ignoring him this would make me appear mysterious and apparently this trait is attractive to the opposite sex!
So, I did not respond.
"Are you okay?" Edward asked giving me a crooked smile that made me feel like my whole body had just turned to jelly.
No response.
He inched a little closer and then knelt down. "Are. You. Okay? "He asked again, pronouncing each word loudly and distinctly as if I was hard of hearing.
I scrabbled around in my head trying to assemble a rational response in my brain. Finally, because it was the next phase of the plan and because I needed to say something, I said the first thing that came to mind.
Phase 3. Be Intellectual!
"I'm reading a book!"
He raised his eyebrows and a small smile played on the corner of his lips.
"I can see that," he said slowly. "So, what are you reading?"
Please be intellectual, I urged myself.
Pride and Prejudice by Charlotte Bronte. Do you know it?"
He raised his eyebrows obviously impressed with my literary prowess.
"I'm familiar with Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin." he replied.
"Um, Yes, Jane Austin, that's who I meant. Charlotte Bronte is my second favourite authoress." I felt that this response had helped me to redeem myself so I launched straight into my well rehearsed prose I had memorised from Wikipedia.
Alice assured me this would knock him dead!
"Jane Austin is my favourite author. She was born on 16th December in 1775 and was an English novelist whose realism, biting social commentary and masterful use of free indirect speech, burlesque and irony have earned her a place as one of the most widely read and most beloved writers in English literature. Austin's work critiques the novels of sensibility of the second half of the eighteenth century and her plots, whilst fundamentally comic, highlights the dependence of woman on marriage to secure social standing and economic security." I blabbered a million miles an hour not stopping for breath. When I finished I was panting like a dog.
He nodded his head slowly, "Mmm, that's extremely interesting. So who is your third?"
"Third what?" I asked confused.
"Your third favourite author?" He clarified.
I looked at him blankly for a moment. I had not prepared for this line of questioning and I really only knew one other author but were Harry Potter novels intellectual?
I decided that perhaps they weren't but for the life of me I couldn't think of another author but I needed to say something. So, I said the first thing I thought of (as usual).
"Dr Seuss?"
He stared at me for a second. God only knows what was going through his mind?
"Yeah" he acknowledged sarcastically. "Cat in the Hat is a literary masterpiece."
He gave me a huge grin whilst internally I was dying? I should have kept my mouth shut. This was not going well at all.
Then just too confirm to him that I was indeed most likely to be crowned this year's village idiot, I blurted out "I like classical music too! I dig Debussy. Clair de Lune rocks!" I topped this off by giving him the biggest, cheesiest smile ever.
He began chuckling softly to himself which quickly evolved into full blown hysterics. Sitting there, I could feel my face flush with embarrassment and I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.
I thought he would never stop but eventually he let out a sigh which I took to signify the end of the hysterics.
"So, what's your name?" He asked casually sweeping his hand through his hair. I could tell from the strain in his voice that he was trying really not to laugh.
"Bella." I whispered embarrassed. "Bella Cullen."
He looked a little surprised. "Cullen? He repeated.
"Oh God!" I groaned realising my mistake "Your name's Cullen, Edward Cullen."
"Yes, that's my name. Are you not a Cullen then?"
"No, I am a Swan!" I replied a little too hastily.
He looked at me as if I had truly lost the plot before I interjected.
"I'm not a real swan! I'm not a big white bird with wings. I'm Bella Swan. Swan, is my surname." I snapped.
He chuckled again.
"Well, Bella Swan, it was nice to meet you. Perhaps we can do this again sometime." He gave me another smile, fished a card out of his pocket and handed it to me and then turned and walked away.
I couldn't be sure but I thought I heard him laughing quietly to himself.
ef