Disclaimer: All credit goes to the amazing Kishimoto. Worship him.
He lay silently on his dirty bed, slowly watching the wick burn down to nothing. The flame was like life and like happiness and like love, and it all ended in eventual darkness.
Itachi.
He wasn't sure what kept him awake at nights. No, that was wrong. He knew all too well what kept him awake. It was the faces. Always the faces. The pained smile on his mother's face as she'd breathed her last, the stoic refusal to admit pain on his father's face as his life flickered, the sneer on his brother's face as he'd declared Sasuke unworthy of death. It was the love, the overwhelming love on Itachi's face as he welcomed the death he had planned at his brother's hands and dared to smile—smile!—in his last moments.
Itachi.
He'd taken his revenge, but the nightmare lived on. His family was dead. Annihilated completely by love and hate and revenge and Konoha where everything began. Yes, he knew what kept him so separated from the unattainable phantom that was sleep. But there was something else that kept him from reaching satisfaction. He had expected something akin to content after he had accomplished the goal that had tormented him so.
But something else kept him from that ultimate nirvana. He could not figure it out! Was it regret? No, he dared not think it. What else could have been done? His path in life was predetermined and he had but to follow it. No, it could not be regret. But something elusive lurked in the corners of his mind, teasing and sweetly torturing him as he drifted between wake and sleep. He couldn't place a word on it, but it tasted of something slightly bitter, and slightly sweet (and Sasuke hated sweet), and slightly burnt, and the vaguely smoky flavorscent-feeling permeated his being at all hours of the day. It made the breath catch in his throat.
The smoky tendrils of emotion gripped something in his chest, and he could not escape, not even into sleep. He ached something terrible, but he just couldn't figure it out!
Tired black eyes narrowed in the dim candlelight. He was Uchiha. He did not feel emotion. Emotion was weakness.
Uchiha Sasuke turned smoothly onto his back to watch the flickering patterns the candle cast on the water-stained ceiling as the night wore slowly on.
-----
Dust spun and leaves crashed as Sasuke trained and reflected on the faces of his past.
Yellow hair, whisker-like stripes, and too-bright blue eyes. Uzumaki Naruto was an annoyance. He was loud, and his voice sounded at a pitch that caused a vein in Sasuke's neck to twitch involuntarily. His affinity for ramen was odd, as well. However, it was the dobe's idiotic persistence that could really make Sasuke grit his teeth. He refused—downright refused--to leave Sasuke alone. Anyone else would have taken Sasuke's abandonment of the village as a very clear statement as to whether or not he wanted to be there. However, the Uzumaki pursued him, with his insults , kagebunshins and sheer idiocy, and it made Sasuke want to chidori his face off some days.
His fist bored a hole through an unsuspecting tree.
Silver hair, one visible eye, and a black mask. Hatake Kakashi was also an annoyance. He was always late, and his excuses weren't even intended to sound believable. He was always studying those disgusting books, those Icha Icha perversions that Jiraiya wrote. Kakashi too, was an annoyance not to be underestimated. He had played more than his part in the hunts for Sasuke, and Sasuke was sick of it. Covering a good portion of your face did not make you a good ninja. It just made you look cool. Though Sasuke was more than positive that the masks were impractical. His face too should be met with a crackling chidori someday.
Kunai studded a boulder.
Genetically improbable hair, a wide forehead, and green eyes. He had always said that Haruno Sakura was an annoyance. She wasn't loud. She didn't read pornography (that Sasuke knew of, at least). Her presence was just unsettling. It confused him, and Sasuke did not like to feel confused. Uchiha did not get confused. He refused to reflect more on Haruno Sakura.
Sasuke watched as ashes rained down. His chidori had incinerated a small grove of sycamore trees.
-----
Sasuke crouched, absolutely still in a tree as he observed the camp of ninja below.
"Watch it, Sai!" screeched the girl.
"Haha, Sakura-chan, but Sai just wants to be close to you!" chuckled the dobe.
"Eh, dickless? Why should I like to be close to Ugly?" asked the replacement, confused. Up in the tree, Sasuke's eyes narrowed.
"DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO CALL ME DICKLESS? Besides, it's because you li—"
"BAKA!" The girl punched the dobe, effectively stopping his speech.
"Ne, what was that for, Sakura-chan?" he whined, holding his nose in hurt. The girl glared menacingly.
Sasuke jumped away quietly. He had much to think about. The actions of the replacement were unacceptable.
On the forest floor, the Copy-Ninja turned a page as his eye squinted into a smile.
-----
Again, Sasuke lay in bed, in the midst of his nightly insomnia. Sleep again had denied him.
Sai.
The very presence of the replacement was unsettling. Why he had been necessary, Sasuke did not know. Surely he was not welcomed. He was all wrong. He was strange. He spoke like a textbook. He was effeminate, wearing shirts that bared his midriff. He looked too much like Sasuke. He sat too close to Sakura. He was all wrong, and unwanted, Sasuke was sure.
The light died as the candle burned out. Sasuke stared into the darkness.
Something about the campfire earlier had smelled like that emotion, he reflected. The smoke and the firelight were reminiscent of that thing that grabbed him and kept him prisoner. It was still sweet, still bitter, and still utterly, utterly burnt.
Uchiha Sasuke turned onto his side once more, as he did every night.
It could not be regret.
Warn your warmth to turn away
Here it's December every day
Press your lips to the sculptures and surely you'll stay
(Love like winter)
For of sugar and ice I am made
--"Love Like Winter", AFI
A/N: My first fic in such a long time, and it turned out to be Naruto! And angst, no less! Haha, hit the review button, lovelies, and all the riches in the world shall be yours!