A/N: About a month ago when, not for the first time, I read the phrase 'Friends to the Death' in Emily Rodda's Deltora Quest series, I was hit with a sudden 'Oh my God, that is soooo like the Marauders!' I didn't think much more of it, but, well, I got bored, I remembered the idea, and the result was... this. It's a different style to what I normally write, especially Sirius' POV (that was difficult, I commend the writers that have perfected it). So it may be a little weird. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, the setting's not mine, the title's not mine... only the words and storyline below are mine. But that's not exactly much to brag about. :P
"Sirius's great redeeming quality is how much affection he is capable of feeling. He loved James like a brother." – J. K. Rowling.
The first time Prongs and I met we didn't get on too well. It was our last names, I think, that caused the mutual feeling of loathing. Even at eleven years of age I despised my family, but living with them I'd heard enough biased opinions about the Potters to think that they were traitors of some kind.
Sirius was still trying to work out why he'd been placed in Gryffindor, when he and Peter, who he had made friends with at the start of term feast, went up to their dormitory. There they saw James Potter on a bed, and Remus Lupin, a mate he had made at the start of term feast.
Sirius turned to Lupin. "Why does he get the bed by the window?" Sirius demanded, pointing at Potter. Lupin shrugged. Potter, however, replied;
"Because I got here first."
"There's another bed by the window." piped up Peter, pointing.
"I don't want to sleep next to him!" exclaimed Sirius.
"Afraid of me, Black?" asked Potter, smirking.
"I'm not afraid!"
"Then prove it. Have that bed."
"Fine!"
Fights would often break out due to the sleeping arrangements, though after we became friends they were useful.
After two weeks of being at school, and far too much chatter among his first year classes, Slughorn decided to assign seats. Peter was up the front with a girl called Lily Evans. Lupin was to the left of Sirius with a gigantic Slytherin bloke called Cal-something. Sirius, of course, was put with Potter.
They were given instructions and ingredients to make their first potion whilst sitting next to one another. Sirius didn't say anything to him, instead concentrating on mashing his bat liver. Potter was the first one to speak.
"Stupid Slughorn, giving us assigned seats." he muttered under his breath.
"Yeah, I know." Sirius agreed. For the first time since they'd met, he had agreed with Potter about something. They were silent for a few seconds, then;
"How much do you reckon he eats to be that fat?" Potter asked, after checking Slughorn was out of earshot.
"I dunno." Sirius replied, grinning for some reason. "A lot."
And they both lapsed into immature, eleven-year-old-boy laughter.
"Y'know what?" said James, once they were able to speak again. "You're cool."
"Thanks." said Sirius truthfully. "You too."
As time went on, James, Remus, Peter and I became a sort of a gang. We dubbed ourselves 'the Marauders', and our main aim was to terrorise Slytherins. Unfortunately, they'd often get us back.
James returned to the dormitory, looking annoyed and shaking his hand as if it were in pain. Sirius looked up from egging on his knight, who was engaged in violent tussle with Remus' bishop.
"What's wrong with you?" said Peter to James.
"Snape hit me with a curse or something." said James. "And now my hand has six fingers."
Sirius laughed, and as he did so James tried to demonstrate a rude hand gesture, although failed to do so because he couldn't decide which fingers to use.
"What did you do to him?" asked Sirius.
"Well, by the time he left the Entrance Hall he was headed toward the hospital wing with his nose in his pocket." said James, and they all laughed.
With my mates, I was happy. When I was at home, I wasn't. My family were all stuck up, biased gits. I'd grown to realise that if I had listened to them, I never would've become friends with James. Eventually, I ran away from home.
THUD! Went the rap of two knuckles on hard wood.
Sirius banged on James' door, although it was the middle of the night. The Potter's were the first people Sirius had thought that he could go to. They were probably the only ones that would have him anymore.
It took a few minutes, but after a while James pulled open the door. He was in pyjamas and was bleary eyed.
"Sirius?" he yawned, rubbing his eyes. "What's up?"
"I ran away from home." explained Sirius. "Can I stay at your place for a while?"
"Uh, yeah. Sure." He opened the door a little wider to let Sirius in. Sirius was filled with gratitude when James didn't start asking questions.
They walked up the stairs and across to one of the guest rooms. Since they had become best mates, Sirius would probably spend more time within James' room than this one. He smiled at the thought, as the very sleepy James helped him with his trunk.
"Here you go." said James. He yawned
"James?" he asked.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Another one of the things that was so funny about James was his obsession with Lily Evans. He'd ask her out on every occasion, which always amused Remus, Peter and I.
"Sirius, why doesn't Evans like me?" asked James one Saturday afternoon. Remus was in the library, Peter was in detention, and he and Sirius were lounging around in the Common Room.
"I dunno." Sirius shrugged. "Although maybe you should stop trying so hard with her."
"I do not try hard!" exclaimed James.
"Yeah, sorry, you're right."
"Thankyou."
"You just love her too much to act normal in her presence!" cried Sirius.
"Hey!" said James indignantly. "I do not love her. I just happen to think she's hot."
"Sure…" said Sirius.
"Shut up." said James shortly, though Sirius thought he saw him go slightly red.
"James loves Evans!" Sirius 'coughed'.
"I do not!"
"Then why do you always ruffle your hair when she's around?"
James kept a dignified silence.
The Marauders wasn't all about hooking up with girls and stuff, though. As Remus was a werewolf, we had become animagi in fifth year to hang out with him around full moon. In our early school days, we'd given Remus the nickname 'Moony'. Soon after the other three of us became animagi we decided to give ourselves nicknames, too.
"You can be… 'Antlers'?" Sirius suggested to James. "Uh…"
"How about 'Prongs'?" said Remus. Sirius snorted.
"Yeah, like a fork."
"Prongs it is." nodded Peter, and James looked happy with his new nickname.
"What about Peter?" Remus asked.
"'Ratboy'… 'Ratty'… 'Ratface'…?" teased James.
"Shut up." muttered Peter.
"Rattail?" said Sirius.
"Nah, that's too obvious. It can't have rat in it." said Remus.
"'Wriggletail'?" Sirius liked the whole tail idea. "'Mattedtail'? 'Wrigglytail'? 'Wormtail'? Just plain 'Tail'?"
"Wait, Wormtail wasn't bad." said James.
"Oh, all right." Peter sighed.
"Wormtail!" laughed Sirius. "Wow, what am I gunna get?"
"How about 'Shaggy'?" said James, grinning. Sirius laughed and nodded.
"No." said Remus firmly, shaking his head with deep disgust.
"'Footprint'? Because dogs leave footprints everywhere?" said Peter.
"OK, what about this." said James dramatically. "'Padfoot'."
Sirius paused. "I like it." He said.
"Me too." agreed Remus. James laughed.
"To Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs!"
And then came the day that I'd begun to think would never come.
"SHE SAID YES! SHE SAID YES! I ASKED HER OUT AND SHE SAID YES!" James danced around the dormitory. Sirius, Remus and Peter watched with bewilderment.
"I knew she was going to eventually." Remus told James.
"Yeah, it was obvious that Evans was nuts about you, too." said Sirius.
"It's Lily, now she's my girlfriend." said James.
"Fine. It was obvious that Lily was nuts about you, too."
"Congrats, James!" squeaked Peter.
"Yeah, awesome." Sirius agreed, feeling truly happy as he gave James a hi-five.
With Lily and James dating, and NEWTs, graduation came far too fast.
The weather was dismal, and it reflected Sirius' mood. They were leaving Hogwarts for the last time. It had gone so fast!
"Prongs?" he asked slowly, as the Hogwarts Express drew nearer to take them home.
"Mmm?"
"We'll still be friends, won't we?" he asked cautiously, immediately wishing he hadn't. It had sounded stupid and lame.
James' head whipped around so fast his neck cricked. Rubbing it, he gave Sirius a look.
"What?" he asked, in an expression that sounded as though he had heard correctly, but didn't want to believe it.
"I mean…" Sirius knew that there was no getting out of it. "Well, now school's over, we're still mates, right?"
"Well, obviously." said James, rolling his eyes as he got onto the train. "Me and you are Friends to the Death, remember that pact in first year? Moony and Wormtail, too. Nothing's ever going to split up the Marauders."
Sirius considered saying it for a second, then decided he might as well. Smiling contentedly, he commented; "Good. Because– well… nothing ever should."
Contrary to my early-razed suspicions, James, Remus, Peter and I remained good mates. The four of us met up at least once a fortnight, and often saw each other on Order of the Phoenix business.
It was one of those days. James and Sirius were catching up in Hogsmeade.
"How's Lily?" asked Sirius, setting down his drink with a thud on the table.
"She's good." said James. His seemed to shiver, even in the warmth of the Three Broomsticks. He hesitated quite visibly, before adding; "I'm going to ask her to marry me."
"You are?" Sirius spluttered, having inhaled half a bottle of butterbeer.
"Yeah." said James. He smiled nervously. "But I'm kind of worried. What if she doesn't say yes?"
"She will, mate." said Sirius.
"How d'you know?" asked James, a little sadly.
"She loves you." said Sirius simply, shrugging and wiping butterbeer from his cloak.
"Thanks."
"Mmm."
"Oh, and Padfoot?"
"Yeah?"
"If she does say yes, will you be my best man?"
Sirius' face lit up at the prospect. He hadn't even thought about it.
"Sure!"
Lily became like my sister after she got married to Prongs. When Harry was born, James started to call me 'Uncle Padfoot'. Lily was more proper, however.
Sirius entered the small, well-lit room. There were James and Lily, sitting by the window, though the curtains were drawn. James was leaning on the back of the chair, his elbows locked. In Lily's arms was a tiny bundle of blankets. They looked up and smiled as he came in.
"Congratulations, Lily." said Sirius.
"Thanks, Sirius." sighed Lily in a tired manner.
"Well?" Sirius asked.
"It's a boy." said James. "Harry James Potter."
Sirius moved closer to Lily and had a look at the baby. When he saw him his eyes widened.
"He looks just like you, James."
And he did. Apart from Harry's eyes, which were green like his mother's, he had James' face, James' hands, James' knobbly knees, and even a tuft of James' messy black hair. Sirius felt that he had never seen anything as small and fragile as the baby in front of him.
Harry blinked up at him, and raised a hand. It grasped for something to hold on to. He grabbed Sirius' little finger and grinned up at him. Merlin, he even had James' reflexes. Sirius smiled.
Lily looked up at her husband, who nodded, a smile tugging at his lips.
"Sirius, will you be Harry's godfather?" she asked.
Sirius felt unable to speak. Him? Harry's godfather? It seemed the most wonderful prospect in the world to him. He tried to say yes, but it came out as a croak. So he merely nodded.
This was enough for Lily and James. They both smiled contentedly at him.
The wizarding war was raging on, but life was still good. And then…
Sirius' heart was pumping fast as the engine of his flying motorcycle was revving. It was just a stupid Halloween joke, right? Peter was just faking it to freak him out. Lily and James were fine. So why was his heart beating so fast?
What were they playing at, scaring him like this? They knew how worried he was about them! Still, so long as they were all right. It's just a joke… Just a stupid joke…Lily and James are OK… Everything's fine…
Sirius was so distracted that he hardly noticed that he had reached Godric's Hollow. His hands and feet had found their way there themselves. Now he looked up.
The once beautiful house Lily and James had lived in was just a smoking mass of rubble. The frame was destroyed, the walls had fallen and shattered glass marked where the windows used to be.
"They escaped. They're alive." Sirius told himself, following with muttered, inaudible words.
He walked over to the rubble and started shifting planks, looking for any sign that they were alive. Anything…
They'd trusted Peter! They'd trusted him with the lives of Lily and James and Harry! And he'd betrayed them to the Dark Lord. Sirius' feeling of dread was replaced with bubbling anger. Rather viciously, he kicked aside a small-ish strip of splintered wood sticking out in front of his foot.
Even in his anger and confusion, he blinked. The wood looked strangely familiar. Almost wand shaped…
He turned his head to the right slowly. He knew, really, what he was about to see. But that didn't make it any less terrifying.
There his best friend's body lay. His clothes were grimy and ash covered. His glasses were lopsided, the eyes beneath them blank. His hand showed unmistakable signs of having held a wand moments before.
James… Lily… No.
It was too much. James was more than his best friend. He was his brother. They were a pair of players. A troublemaking duo. He couldn't be dead. He couldn't.
It was more than Sirius could bear. It was pain beyond means of physical anguish. There was nothing to live for anymore. James had always been there. Always. There to tease about Lily, or laugh at, or play Quidditch against, or to eat massive amounts of junk food and cranberries with, or talk to or...
Lily and James. They were as good as his brother and sister.
And they were dead.
Guilt crept through his insides from his chest until it consumed him entirely. It was all his fault. He had been the one that had suggested that Peter be the Secret Keeper. He'd killed them.
I'm so sorry, Prongs.
Sirius had been told once that people's lives flashed before their eyes when they died. He didn't know the same thing happened when their best friends died. He looked at the ground without really seeing it. Every good time he'd spent with James… and with Lily, and Harry… were flicking through his mind, like frames of an old film.
They'd been Friends to the Death. But now James was actually dead. And there was nothing he could do about it.
Sirius didn't know how long he sat there. The shock of everything, the grief, the guilt, the anger… it was all far beyond tears.
He couldn't think, and yet he couldn't stop thinking.
He couldn't move, and yet he couldn't stop shaking.
So he sat, amongst the smoking mass that had once been the home of the three people he'd loved the most in the world.
And now I sit in a cell in Azkaban. They say I'm insane. But I'm not. Not entirely.
They say I killed Peter Pettigrew. But I didn't. I wish I did.
Almost twelve years have passed since the night James and Lily died. Almost twelve years since I was shut in this filthy cell.
I think about life outside Azkaban a lot. I don't have much else to do.
I think a great deal about Harry. He still looks like James, I'm sure of it. Does he even know he has a godfather? Is he afraid that that godfather will end up assisting Voldemort in murdering him, as he supposedly helped him kill his parents?
What about Remus? Did he believe Peter's story? I haven't seen him since before the death of our best friend.
Mostly, I think hard about ways to escape this hellhole. No one's done it before. But I'm different to everyone else in here – I know it. I'm innocent of the crimes I was imprisoned for. Even if I sometimes think that it was my fault that they're dead.
I frequently curse Wormtail. Every Halloween – and yes, I can tell that it is Halloween, by a boiling sensation in the pit of my stomach – I have these… urges to escape. I spend all day and all night reliving those few short hours that ended the life that I once knew. And I just want to find, to hurt, to kill Wormtail.
Wormtail. Who we all trusted as a friend, an Order member, and a Secret Keeper. And he was on Voldemort's side all along.
Cowardly, evil, conniving, rat-faced bastard.
Sometimes I question myself as to if I should just let myself die. It certainly wouldn't be the first time the prison dealt with death.
But I remember Harry, and I remember Wormtail. And I listen to the eerie quiet of the prisoners, and the sucking, rattling sound of the dementors.
And I think of 'Friends to the Death' with Prongs. He's already dead, but what if I die, too? If I die, will our lifelong friendship perish along with me? After all, it's only to The Death.
And I see a flash of James' empty face underneath crooked glasses. And then I see a very similar mental image, except this time, the man in question has green eyes, and a lighting bolt scar on his forehead.
I've got to get out of here. I've got to help Harry, and fulfil my duty as a godfather. I've got to find Remus, and tell him the truth. I've got to get Dumbledore on my side. I've got to sniff Wormtail out, and avenge the deaths of Lily and James.
And then maybe I will die. But I'll face death with an optimism that I'll have accomplished more than anyone could have expected of me as a child.
And… maybe… I'll be able to see my real family again.
A/N: Yeah. As I said, this was definitely not my usual style, but I quite like it. Although, when I like something I've written, readers usually hate it. Just as when I hate what I've written, readers review and say they like it. 'Tis a strange system. So let me know and review! And thanks to my (insanely slow, but still awesome) BETA, PremzaWitchOfWeirdos.