Somewhere In Between

Chapter One: Loved from the Beginning

He felt his hands as they became covered in a light film of sweat. He wasn't sure why he was here despite the chill of the upcoming winter. He felt his hands ball into fists in his pockets and then unfurl themselves letting them rest against the inside of his lined wool coat. He was here for… for… acceptance…peace… he wasn't sure anymore. Many nights he had come here… stood right at the gate. He hadn't been back since that night… that first and only night when he and Hermione ventured here looking for answers and only found a dead woman, a broken wand and misbegotten hopes. But tonight was different though… tonight there shouldn't be any of those things waiting for him unless they were in the form of his own memories.

He had battled his demons… had fought through the darkness and come out on the other side. Sure he lost many friends…many loved ones along the way but they had died not in vain. They had fought by his side not just for him but for their future. It had been worth it. All the men and women that had been lost that night; Fred, Tonks, Remus… and so many more, had died for the future of those that remained and those that were to come. He swallowed hard feeling the object roll through his fingers in his pocket. For some reason it felt heavier than before and he didn't know why. As if trying to escape the lump there he removed his hand feeling the cool air hit the flesh and let it rest on the broken metal gate. He watched the messages appear one by one over the plaque in front of him that stood between him and his old home. He swallowed hard.

Harry Potter we'll fight to the end!

He smiled letting his fingertips run across the message and watched it glow slightly at the contact almost as if it could sense that he was there…that it was the son that came home. Looking up he felt the tears sting the backs of his eyes for some reason. A part of him wanted to go in… he could… he knew that although access was restricted it would never be to him. He was the son of those great two people who died to protect him. They loved him and therefore what was theirs would never be barred to him and yet his feet wouldn't move.

He exhaled deeply and took a step back watching the writing on the podium begin to fade and slowly disappear. He stared at his home one more time before turning away and almost slamming face first into the petite form of a slender blond. His hands reached out on instinct grabbing her forearms to steady himself as well as the woman before him. Putting her at arms length he blinked, once, twice before he realized who was staring back at him. The bright blue eyes against the pale skin were unmistakable. Her thin lips were slightly tinged bluish pink he could see from their close proximity. He wasn't sure how long she had been outside but there was a pinkish tinge to her cheeks that only came from hours of chilly weather. "Luna." He breathed out watching his breath mingle and disappear into the air between them.

He watched her head tilt slightly. "Greetings Harry Potter." Her voice ironically sounded so much like the girl he had first met many years before. It was as if timed had evolved every part of her except that melodic voice and her eyes… The eyes that were wide and blue as a clear summer sky stared back at him untouched by time.

"Luna what are you…I mean why are you… How are you?" He settled on the last question finally.

She stared at him for a moment as if trying to read some secret message behind his eyes. But there weren't anymore messages there… no more secrets to be had. He had gotten rid of them…all of them he would like to believe. He was trying to move on. That's the reason why he was here after all and yet… something had stopped him. Something was holding onto him, keeping him from moving forward. He could feel the weight in his pocket again becoming heavier and heavier.

"Is that a yes or a no Harry Potter?" She asked softly still staring at him and he realized that she had spoken while he had gotten lost in his own thoughts.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Have some Periwinkles snatched your ability to concentrate?" She asked.

He felt a smile tug at his lips seeing the seriousness in her face. "Uh… no. Not at all. I was just thinking." He remarked. "What was the question?"

"I asked if you've talked to them lately." She remarked giving a slight nod to the graveyard in the not so far distance.

He looked out seeing the gate that surrounded the cemetery. The silver seemed to sparkle brighter in the oncoming night. It could only be magic, he thought to himself. "Probably not as often as I should." His voice sounded thick to his own ears. He looked back at her and saw that she had now moved to the podium. Coming to stand behind her he could faintly smell the shampoo in her hair; lavender and vanilla. He watched her run her fingers across the magical stand before them watching the letters begin to appear.

"The things we are capable of. It's amazing isn't it Harry Potter?"

He nodded. "They really believed in me huh?"

"They loved you… from the very beginning." She answered looking over at him with a bright smile. She noticed the questionable look in his eyes. "What… is there something in my hair? Perhaps a Snatch Patch?" She offered reaching up to find the imaginary creature.

He reached out on impulse stopping her hand from messing with perfection. "No... I just…" He stopped for a moment feeling her skin upon his. Her hand was cold… ice cold but smooth. It felt like phoenix feathers without the warmth.

"What?" She asked when he didn't continue.

Once again he snapped back to attention. Pulling back he reached for his gloves and began to cover her hands with them as he talked. "I don't think they loved me. They didn't even know me." He stated matter-of-factly.

She wriggled her fingers in the leather encasement as though they were foreign to her eyes. "Don't you love your parents?" She asked still staring down at her own hands with complete interest.

"Of course." He answered immediately.

"But you never knew them. Why do you believe they must know you to love you?" She asked.

"They loved me for living… they loved the Boy Who Lived… not Harry Potter."

She seemed to give his statement a lot of thought as she remained silent for a long time. He opened his mouth as though to speak again when she cut him off by grabbing his bare hand. The leather rubbed across his flesh and he felt a slight tingle run through him.

"Then we were the lucky ones weren't we?" She asked.

"What?"

"Because we loved you… we loved you from the very start… we loved the boy who lived and we loved the man who survived. We loved Harry Potter." She stated openly and the honesty in her statement created the lump in his throat.

"You think you were lucky?"

"As lucky as any Crinkle Croon on Wednesday!" She remarked enthusiastically.

"People died because they knew me." He stated softly.

"…and some died because they didn't." She replied. "They didn't know just how far you would go to protect those that you loved… they underestimated you and what you could do… who you could be." She stared him in the eyes, blue meeting green and he watched the slight curve at the end of her lips. Reaching out she brushed the wild tendrils of his black hair away from his forehead and stared at his scar. "Harry Potter… you are so much more than the boy who lived."

And for countless moments they simply stayed that way. The fading autumn wind blowing across their faces in the midst of the diminishing sunlight began to cast shadows as the day grew darker but he didn't seem to mind… he didn't seem to notice. Her words seemed to echo in his ears creating something that almost felt serene. It had been a long time since he felt that. In truth there had been a turbulence in him since the moment Dumbledore had left this world and no amount of truths could calm it… but here… in this moment it all almost seemed okay.

Reaching out she grabbed his hand. "Would you like to go and see them?" She asked with a raised brow.

It took him a moment to realize whom she was referring to. Looking over his shoulder he could still see their headstones, lit by some unseen light. Turning back to her she was staring at him, waiting on his answer. He swallowed hard and then nodded. With a gentle tug he led them up the stone walkway and through the gate not stopping until they stood before it. The grey cement seemed to shine as though laminated by some unseen wax. Letting his eyes roam over their names he felt the lump in his throat. Taking their joined hands she guided his to the headstone. Spreading his palm across the cement she rubbed the back of his hand for a moment before pulling back.

"Talk to them…that's why you're here isn't it?" She whispered softly.

He looked down at his hand on the stone hedge and felt the sting in his green orbs. "I don't… I don't know what to say." His whisper was hoarse, filled with so much emotion he thought he might choke.

She smiled slightly. "I'm sure anything that you want to talk about will be fine… but you could start with telling them about the ring in your pocket." She remarked easily.

He furrowed his brow looking down at his coat pocket and then back up at her. 'How did she know? How could she know?'

"Luna how…"

"I'll wait for you down by your house." She cut him off already drifting away.

He watched her for a moment still bewildered by what she couldn't possibly know and yet somehow… somehow she did. Turning back to his parents he exhaled a deep breath and gave a crooked smile. "She's a bit of… well… a bit of everything I suppose." He remarked. "Hey mum… dad… I just… I should come here more often. I think sometimes…sometimes I'm afraid. Kind of ironic when you think about it; I've faced Voldermort, watched the people that I love be struck down protecting me… or just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time… but it's here, when I'm standing in front of the two of you that I'm most afraid… I wonder what you would think of me. Would you be proud of me… would you love me… I mean me, the person I am now… not the boy that you sacrificed yourselves for? Would you love me and the person that I've become?" He wiped the tears from his face with the back of his hand and took in a deep chilled breath. Stuffing his hands into his pockets he felt the small square velvet box brush his fingertips. Pulling it out he stared at it for a moment. "I'm going to propose to Ginny… I think you both would have liked her very much." He smiled slightly. "She's good to me; she loves me." He shrugged with the last statement. Looking over his shoulder he watched Luna in the distance as she seemed to stare up at some unknown creature in the night sky. Her hands reaching out for what he wasn't sure; he smiled before looking down at the box in his hand. Turning his back on her he looked down at the headstones once more. "But I wonder sometimes if she truly understands me… the person that I am… the things that I've done… that I've wanted to do." He whispered underneath his breath. "I wonder…" Stuffing the box back in his pocket with resignation he touched the headstones once more. "I'll be back… sooner than later." He promised before walking away.

He found her still staring up at the night sky. Coming to stand beside her he looked up. "So what is it; cranky corpouses… snatch patches… what?" He asked with a smile as he placed his hands in his pockets.

She cocked her head to one side and took a soft breath. "The stars, Harry… I'm staring at the stars. I'm hoping that one might fall my way." She stated.

Looking over at her profile he felt a wide grin come to his lips. "Perhaps it will."

Tearing her eyes away she gazed at him. "Was it everything you hoped it was… your conversation?" She asked lazily.

He nodded. "It's coming along." He stated.

"That is good. Well Harry Potter it seems I must leave you. I seem to have stayed out later than I anticipated and I am sure to miss tonight's episode of Jeopardy if I do not hurry." Reaching out she began to remove his gloves when he reached out on instinct and stopped her. His fingers closed over her partially uncovered palms. The coldness of his hands being warmed by her flesh gave him tingles all over his body.

He swallowed and looked up into her eyes. "Just… keep them. I'll get another pair. You need them more than I do." He muttered pulling back after a moment and running his fingers through his hair.

She looked down at the gloves than back up into Harry's eyes. She stared at him and then shrugged. "I thank you. Have a good night." She stated with a slight wave before turning on her heel and skipping off her blond hair swaying in the wind.

He watched her go, feeling as though tonight would not be their last encounter… how right he was.