A/N: hello all! We are a shared account. This is our first story so we would appreciate and feedback! Thank you all so much for reading this story. This is just a quick one-shot.
So, to kinda explain the situation, Kensi was shot, wounded to the point where no one thought she would live. In the short time before she was rushed to hospital, Deeks confesses his love to her, in the sappy, imaginable way.
Disclaimer: Sadly we do not own any of the characters, just our ideas :) But we would appreciate our work not being used under any other name or claim. Thanks!
kensi's POV
This brought a whole new twist to the word 'awkward. Deeks and I sat there silently, waiting for the other to say something to somehow 'brighten' the situation. Who am I kidding? What in the whole world could brighten this situation? We had literally nearly died, which was when he'd decided to pour the living daylights out of his soul to me in my last moments. Well, that's what we thought. And now I was alive.
...Awkward...
I shifted again on the lounge and squeezed my hands between my knees, leaving red marks from the pressure. He shifted next to me, his arm lightly brushing mine, making me jump a bit.
'Sorry,' he muttered quietly. I had to strain my ears to hear him. I trained my gaze on my big toe, watching as its position changed as I switched opening one eye then the other. I probably looked like a complete idiot. Minutes ticked by in what felt like hours. It reached ten and we still hadn't said a word.
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.
'Was what you said true? Back when I was, well, dying?' I asked sincerely.
Deeks sat silently for a moment before answering with a delayed, 'Yes.'
I continued on steadily with my questions, determined to get every detail from him. 'So that means...you love me?' I couldn't stop myself from asking. It had been eating away at me for almost two days now.
He paused again, before answering with an even quieter, 'Yes. I suppose I do.' Like, what's that SUPPOSED to mean?!
'Yes.'
'Explain, please.'
Deeks looked up at me with confusion in his ocean blue eyes but answered the question anyway. 'I love you, but I don't know how to act. By taking the next step it could potentially ruin our partnership so I'm not totally sure what to do with my feelings' he replied
'But I need to know something from you,' he turned his cerulean gaze on me. 'Do you...well...is what you said...that day...still true? Do you still...have the same feelings?'
How was I supposed to answer that? So much had happened since then. He protected me. He almost died for me. I almost died anyway. He brought me back. I owed him my life for that. He loved me, sure, but how on earth did I feel about him? Every man I have ever loved in my life has left me. I couldnt handle Deeks walking out of my life too.
And not only did he tell me he loved me he kissed me too. I mean, did it mean anything to me? It obviously meant something to him, but to me...well, what did it mean to me? More importantly, what did HE mean to me? So many questions, so many...uh, non-existent answers. So? Why didn't I just tell him that?
Sure, like that was going to be easy.
'Listen, I haven't actually...'I finally built up the courage to look up at him and to my surprise, he was giving me THE look. The same look he'd given me before he'd kissed me. The same look he'd given me the day he saved me from the room full of lasers. The same look...! That same look that was now reflecting on my face! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear... The space between us was rapidly deteriorating and he was leaning in close to me. I could smell the faint scent of the ocean on him, and hear his heavy breathing. A blush was creeping up my neck, steadily rising no matter how hard I fought it. I wasn't sure, but I think I heard him whisper, 'I love you' but then again, I could've been hearing things. After all, it wasn't beyond impossible... He closed the gap between us and started sliding his arms around my waist. I inhaled sharply and tried to back away. He became aware of me pulling away, so he just dropped it. Just like that. He just stopped. Hurt registered on his face and he slid away, emptying the gap once again.
'I...I...I...' Clearly wasn't prepared for this situation.
'I get it,' Deeks whispered hoarsely. 'It's okay. I understand.'
I took a deep breath. 'I don't think you do. I'm confused. I don't know what to do either. I've never loved someone like this before...I don't even know if its love, for goodness' sake!' I threw my hands in the air to emphasise my point.
His reply was a simple, 'Oh.'
Yah, OH. Well, whoopdie-flipping-do. Oh to you too.
'Well, I guess I should go then...' He sighed. Wait! No! You idiot. Don't let him leave!
As Deeks got up to leave I grabbed his arm and yelled 'Wait!'
He spun around to face me. I don't know why, but I just couldn't let him leave like that. What was wrong with me? It was like someone had flicked off my sensibility-switch and I was now in crazy-mode. More like impulse-mode, actually.
'Huh?' He frowned and gave me a 'what?' look I'd come to know so well.
'Don't...go. I...uh, I...' I stammered searching for exactly the right words to say. Then it hit me. Like a full fifty-two kilo package of bricks. There weren't really words. No, there were no words to say. I caught not only him, but myself off guard by grabbing his shoulders and pressing my lips against his. I don't know what told me to do that, but someone needed to remind me to punch it later.
...Then thank it.
He pulled away and turned his back to me. Casting a wry glance over his shoulder, I tried to make out the situation before me. Had I just done that? Did I just kiss him?
'Why did you do that?'
I paused, asking myself the same question.
'I...well, I'm not entirely sure...' I dwindled off.
He snapped, 'Obviously you didn't!'
'...why I didn't do that sooner.' I finished. I knew I did it now. Because I didn't hate him. I didn't even like him. I loved him. Somewhere in between the fighting, the arguing, the aimsly flirting and the bickering, I'd grown to love him. More accurately, I'd fallen in love with him. He regained his fallen composure.
'What? Sooner...huh?' He blinked, rapidly growing more confused by the second.
I inhaled sharply, before letting it out in a deep sigh. 'I love you.'
This time he had to double take.
'What?' He stepped forward towards me and I looked up at him with a newly found realisation.
'I love you.' I repeated, monotone.
'Huh?'
I finally snapped. 'Get it through your thick head, Shaggy- I love you, got it?'
He rose his eyebrows at me before stepped closer again, placing his hands firmly on my shoulders and kissing me. The feeling was unlike any other. This was amazing. My lips were tingling and my toes were numb. His strong arm around my waist, his hand cradling the back of my head. He angled his head to kiss me deeper and I let myself fall victim to his passionate kiss. I felt his hands slip slowly through my hair, and I remembered to breathe. He pulled away and kissed me again, trailing his fingers down my cheeks, sending shivers up and down my spine. My heart was racing, yearning for more. Kissing him violently one last time, I curled my fingers around his neck and his on my hips.
'That was...amazing...' I panted, slightly out of breath. The rush of adrenaline hadn't worn off yet, plus he was still coating every inch of my face with light, lingering kisses. I rubbed my thumb back and forth across his cheek bone. He gently enveloped me with his arms and smoothed my hair. It was...awesome.
He whispered one last thing to me, 'I love you always have, and always will. The sky could be falling, my life could be slipping away, but I will never stop. Because the moment I stop, I forget who I am. The moment I stop, everything clear is suddenly unclear. Everything I can face is suddenly fear-filled. Everything fun is suddenly dull. The places you aren't, are the places I hate. The places you are, are the places I want to be. When you are happy, the world is brighter, when we are happy, the world doesn't matter. I wish I could stay in your arms forever, because when I'm there, I'm in the sky, on the moon, wrapped in the embrace of the brightest star. Your smile, so rare, so beautiful. Your eyes, the determined glint, the tenderness. Your hair, tidy and neat, soft and flowing. Yourself. Your heart. Your everything. You're everything. You're everything to me.'