Hey! My first FanFic! So, uh, don't hate me :-)

(DISCLAIMER) I don't own Stargate SG1

"Sir!" Carter said in a hurry before O'Neill left the area to go home for the weekend, "sir! Wait!"

"Hey, what's up?"

"Well, uh, sir, me Teal'c and Daniel were going on a fishing slash camping trip this weekend and were wondering if you'd like to join us?"

"Sure, where we going?"

"Well, to that uninhabited planet we just visited last week, its very beautiful sir."

"How are we going to get there? Fly?"

"No, well General Hammond said we could use the stargate sir."

"Sooooo, you just waltzed on up to him asked if we could use the governments top secret stargate to, go on a fishing slash camping trip?"

Carter nods her head "yeah."

"Oh," O'Neill puts a strange look on his face,

"As long as he gets to go."

"What! No! Don't you remember that backyard bonfire we had at my house?"

"Ya,"

"Well, do you remember what happened?"

"No, It was a guys night out remember? And I was stuck at home all alone and forced, out of loneliness, to call my mother, who talked to me for five hours about "when are you gonna get married and make me some grandchildren."

"Well anyways, he got drunk and took off his pants, and he ruined my only lamp shade trying to fit it over his fat bald head, and went around scaring the heck out of everybody, and then passed out in the middle of the street three blocks from where I live! When we found him a half an hour later it took six strong guys to get him out of the way of the mob of people waving tire irons!"

"Really?" Carter said shocked not believing what she's hearing.

"Yeah, that was a good lamp shade," Jack said feeling pity for his cheap broken lampshade.

"Hey Jack!Are you coming on the campin trip?" Hammond said going out of his way to stop and ask.

"Oh, no thank you General Hammond sir, I haven't been feeling real great (cough) I got a pretty bad case ofuh... ulcerative colitis."

"Oh, nonsense, you'll be fine soldier, WAHOOOO! We're goin campin!" Hammond yelled unexpectedly while he walked to his humvee,

"Ulcerative colitis sir?" Carter asked

"Yeah, (Ahem) my voice has been kinda rough lately," Jack said obviously faking his instantly acquiredrough voice.

"That's a disease of the bowel, sir," Carter said laughing at him now.

"Oh, well..."

"O'Neill, shall you be accompanying us on the fishing trip?" Teal'c said walking up behind Carter and talking over her shoulder.

"I don't know I... uh..."

"Hey Jack! Will you be going on the camping tripwith usthis weekend?" Daniel said, walking up and standing next to Carterwith a bundle of books in his hand,and Teal'c standing behind them in the middle.

(Sigh) "He doesn't want to go because of Hammond and his little party incident."

"Oh, ya, that was a good lampshade." Daniel said,

"How come I never seen this, lampshade?" Carter said irritably,

"I bough it the same day for the party, then he broke it! I was so traumatized I had to throw out the lamp, and the night stand it was sitting on!"

"Really?" Carter asked,

"No, but I'll never look at the lamp the same again though."

"Sir, are you sure this is about the lampshade?" Daniel said breaking into the conversation,

"Go on."

"Well, sir-

"Nope! Its the lampshade! So, what time we all meeting up for the trip?" Jack said trying to stop an on coming lecture,

"Uhhh, hows ten sound sir?" Carter said answering his question

"Ten! In the morning! On a weekday! How am I supposed to get sleep!

"Well, ok hows one?"

"What! Your kidding right?"

"Ok, three sirs, hows three?"

"Ok, soooo, what day?"

(Sigh) "Saturday sir,"

"Um, all right, see ya on all Saturday." Jack said, as he walked away, then got in his pick-up truck, and drove off.

Yup, that's the end, for now, please review, I need to know if I should continue, or go crawl in a hole and die, so, um...Please be nice.