Central Park Zoo

April 25th 2017

(Skipper's POV)

We were enjoying some quality silent time in our headquarthers. I was working on yet another addition to my ship in a bottle collection. Private was over by the TV watching the lunacorns and listening so some more gooey love-mush. "Private," I said, "turn down those moonbeam loving rainbow sparkle ponies!" I turned to rico, "And there's no way to make that sound manly." Rico shrugged and went back to his portrait of his dolly girlfriend.

I rather have him do that then go on a destructo rampage. Kowalski was in his lab working on yet another invention that is bound to go horribly wrong. As long as that ringtail doesn't come in here we should be fine. "Ah, nothing can ruin this great day," I said just as marlene ran in screaming. "what is it now marlene," I said. "is there another spider in your habitat," Kowalski asked. "I'll get the paper towel roll," Private said. "No," marlene said, "no spider." "did you scare roger again with your snoring," I said. "What! No!" Marlene said, 'there are men in suits again…with the weird blooping wands."

"Again?" I said. "Oh…the commissioner must be here for the ribbon cutting ceremony for the final stage of the zoo expansion," Kowalski said. "Oh the one the zoo overlords all being all super secretive about..." I said. "but the blooping," Marlene said. "All part of the routine security swoop," I said. Marlene was at the periscope, "okay…there leaving." "All ready?" I said, "oh come on they did another rush job!" "Security is not what it was," Kowalski said. "But if they left then their no security threat." Marlene said. "Topside!" I shouted.

Marlene followed us up the ladder onto our base's "iceberg" exterior. "Kowalski security measures analysis." Kowalski then ran all over the zoo to look for security holes. "Where's the reflecting beams for satellite or moon-based lasers?" Kowalski asked from atop a lamp-post. Kowalski had a scanner out, "the titanium ground nets for tunneling mole robots." Kowalski then looked up, "The Anti-dalek defense system? The Emp attack shielding? The Mobile Nuclear fallout bunker?" "The Comprehensive antidote kit to counteract mind control gas," Kowalski asked from the lemur habitat, "sprayed by a villainous madman with a super blimp." "again with the super blimp," marlene said. "I know a villainous madman with a super blimp," Julian said, "it was a bit of a wreak though." "WHAT!? Who had a blimpwreak?" I asked. "Oh just my old evil nemesis named Karl," Julian said, "he was too busy trying to destroy me to focus on repairing his airship." "He was EVIL…" Mort said.

"I thought you said that about clemson?" Kowalski said. "yeah," Mort said, "but Karl was really EVIL." "You Ringtail?" I laughed, "an evil nemesis! Yeah right!" "It's true!" Julian said, "Karl is my evil nemesis…and intellectual rival…whatever that means." "You can't be serious," I said, "that can't be true." "I wish it wasn't true," Maurice said, "but Karl is julian nemesis." "Your just saying what julian wants to hear," I said. "Ergh," Julian said, "I wish my old security advisor Clover was here…she'll would have vouched for me." "she can't…she's queen of the mountain lemurs remember…" "Yes…I wonder how my old friend B'dubs is doing," Julian said, "probably doing better then Rodd McTodd and Dr. S…" "Who?" Kowalski said.

"My old high school buddy who got all old and gross looking and turned evil and insane," Julian said, "and a crazy Corbra doctor who was completely unlicensed and practiced…" Julian paused as lighting flashed overhead, "OUT OF A CAVE!" "I hated that guy," Maurice said, "he gave me the creeps." "Me too," Mort said. "I here I thought Dr. Deranged was bad," I said, "Okay back on mission…if the commissioner's slapdash security detail wants to slack off…then I looks like it's up to us to keep him safe." "Again," Kowalski whispered. "Rico!" I said. Rico quickly hacked up dark shades and bluetooths. "Check one," I said. "Check two," Kowalski said. "Check Three." Private said. "Cool!" Julian said, "I totally got some boss double agent spy guy sunglasses…does it give me X-ray vision…or does it shoot lasers…or gives me all kinds of spy information in the glass." "No," Kowalski said, "It just looks awesome."

"Oh," Julian said, "then I am the awesomest double agent spy guy ever!" "Julian is the best double agent ever," Mort said. "You know," Julian said, "the four of you standing around in shades remind me of something…" "What?" Kowalski asked. "Here comes the men in black," Julian sang, "men in black…" "Galaxy Defenders!" Private, Rico, and Kowalski shouted. "Seriously?" I said, "now I got that song stuck in my head!" "I'm Sorry," Kowalski said. "Well I'm not!" Julian said. "Rico…signature move!" I shouted. Rico hacked up a smoke bomb and we were gone.

Shortly…

Private had his binculors trained to the sky, "No sign of any unauthorized attack drones, Skipper," Private said. "Not picking up any trip hazards…" Kowalski said. "No unsafe scissors to report skipper," Private said. "any sign of any super-blimps? Or skorca? Or phony fish cakes? Or Frankie the pigieon?" I said. "Negative, Negative, Negative, and Negative," Kowalski replied. "No activity in the Red Squirrel's tree," Private said. "Keep an eye on our red-furred foe," I said, "I don't trust that squirrel." "Fred is being…fred," Kowalski said with hint of disgust in his voice. "well, duh," I said, "what else is new." "Um…I just spotting blowhole and some lobsters…" Private said. "Blowhole? Move out team!" I shouted, "BLOWHOLE! PREPARE TO BURN IN THE PITS OF HADES!"

Kowalski, Private, Rico and I charged out of the tree we were hiding in. "Pen-gu-wins?" Blowhole said as we proceeded to beat up him and his lobsters. Rico, Private, and Kowalski quickly dispatched the small group of lobsters. I then tackled Blowhole to the ground, "What's you sick and twisted evil plan this time Blowhole!" "Um…buying snowcones?" Blowhole said. "Not on my watch…wait…snowcones? You not planning on kidnapping the park commissioner?" "Why would I want to do that?" Blowhole said. "Because you hate…people," Private said. "Mcslade passed the fresh fish for dolphins intiative…at least my sister doesn't have to put up with processed fish." Rico was holding a can of sardines and shrugged, "her loss." "Processed fish?" Kowalski said, "They should be giving my aquatic goddess…" Blowhole was quickly in kowalski's face, "If you ever refer to my sister like that in front of me again…let just say it won't be pretty."

"So…no evil plan then?" I said. "Just because I an a evil scientist," blowhole said, "does not mean everything I do is evil!" "he does make a solid point," Kowalski said. "yeah," Rico said. "I guess that makes sense," Private said, "being evil…at the end of the day…is just his job. And you would need a break from your job every once and a while." "I just wanted to give bring up my minions moral…" blowhole said, "which is hard to do…when you pen-gu-wins keep defeating me!" "Sorry my mad dolphin foe," I said as Kowalski and Private helped him back on the scooter. "We're leave you to your snowcones…" I said. "You better…plus I got a sneak peek of the zoo's new attraction," Blowhole said, "it will blow the humans' puny minds." "Okay boys," I said, "let's get back to commissioner security duty." "Oh and one more thing" Blowhole shouted as we walked away, "I'll get you for this pen-gu-wins!"

We barely got back to our hiding place when archie showed up. thankfully he had dropped all pretense of his "the archer" persona and was his normal con-artist self. "Skipper," Archie said, "I have a tip for you…for the right price." "what the right price?" I asked. "20,000 acorns," Archie replied. "Nope," I said, "Make it 10,000 and we have an deal." "Met me halfway at 15?" "12,000 and that's my final offer!" "wow….tough negotiator," Archie replied, "12,000 acorns it is!" Rico hacked up a durlap sack and dumped out 12,000 acorns. "Pleasure doing business with you," Archie said, "Now those two twobit thief Cecil and Brick are in the area…specially to…hurt you." "Let like to see those two try!" I said.

We quickly spotted Cecil and Brick approaching a pretzel cart. A pretzel cart that was run by none other than…OFFICER X! "got anything else than chesse sauce?" Cecil said, "my large friend here has lactose intolerance." "we have german style mustard," X replied. "Okay two bavarian pretzels with mustard and four Chicago style pretzel dogs…with ketchup." "What did you say?" Officer X said. "Those Criminals," I said, "Ketchup on a hot dog! That's just plain wrong!" "I like ketchup on my hot dog," Private said. We all glared at Private. "Private that's the cardinal sin of the culinary world!" Kowalski said, "never put ketchup on a hot dog!" "Especially If it's a Chicago dog!" I said. "I said Four Chicago Style Pretzel dogs with ketchup," Cecil said. "Ketchup doesn't go on a hot dog punks," X said.

"Wait isn't he the penguin man?" brick asked. "Quiet brick," Cecil said, "I can put whatever I want on a hog dog…" "No you can not you sick hot dog hating monster," The speak and Spell said. "what?" Cecil said turning to a man wearing a hat and a trench coat. "Who are you?" Cecil asked. "You worst nightmare…HA!HA!HA!" We then ripped off our disguise as I slapped cecil across the face. "What?" Cecil asked, "Penguins?" "Never put ketchup on a hot dog," Kowalski typed into the speak and spell. Suddenly X pulled out his electric baton, "You could a bad day to mess with me penguins!" X said. Suddenly X's pychomobile showed up. "I thought we destroyed that?" I said. "I beat you haven't seen that twist!" X said. "I still want ketchup on my pretzel dogs!" "What is wrong with you?" the speak n' spell said. "What a minute," Cecil said, "we both hate the penguins we could…" Suddenly X started to laugh, "team up with you? Criminals? Ha! I would never stoop that low."

"Penguins go back to doing whatever you were doing," X said, "I'll deal with these two…" We just sat there and looked at him with confused looks. "Go! Before I change my mind," X said turning his electric baton on the criminal duo. "You two will have plenty of time to Ketchup in jail," X said as he took the two of them out with his trademark "take out the hot tempered kangaroo" move. We snuck away as the police showed up, "wow," the Officer said lefting his shades, "thank you penguin man…we been after these two for months." "Oh no," Cecil said. "Here is your food," X said throwing the food on cecil's and brick's heads. "Hey!" Cecil said, "there's no ketchup." "Ketchup? On a hot dog? What is wrong with you?" the officer said, "well back to your cell with the two of you." "I know you around here listening!" Cecil said, "I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling penguins! I'll get you for this!" "Penguins?" the Officer said. "Yeah…I have no idea what he was talking about," Officer X said, "there were no penguins here."

For our hiding spot we watched as the twobit theifs were put in the police crusier. The Police car than drove away sirens blaring and lights flashing. Officer X looked up towards our hiding spot and nodded before getting back to work. "Rico…keep an eye on X," I replied. "Okay," Rico said. "Actually that won't be necessary," Kowalski said, "The Commissoner had just arrived and is approaching his podium and the entrance to the new attraction." "Move out!' I said, "plus I kinda want to hear this…"

(end of chapter one)