"Poets lie, though beautifully; don't make things new, make them whole."—Crispin Salvador, Ilustrado by Miguel Syjuco.
Eight Lives Lived
(Leo Valdez liked the rain.
That was his earliest memory from when he was a kid. He was walking home with his mom, holding hands, when it started to dribble. Esperanza was about to take Leo to a convenience store for a temporary shelter, but his hand slipped and he ran into the empty street. The mother panicked and chased him, fearing that the little boy would find himself on the road and get hit by a car.
Leo jumped on puddles of mud, stretching out his arms wide, spun around, laughing. The rain was like the shower at home except you were free to move around, and the pitter-patter of the rain drops were soft on his face. He looked at the sky, and even though it was gray, it looked beautiful.
Esperanza caught the boy's arm and pulled him closer. "Don't do that, Leo. What if something bad happens to you?"
Leo looked up to his mom, and knew his fun was short-lived. He looked down to his boots. "Sorry, mom."
Esperanza sighed and patted the boy's head. She managed to smile at him. "You can play in the rain, but we're going home now, so stay close to me. Okay?"
Leo grinned. "Okay."
They walked back to the pavement, with the rain pouring down a little harder. Holding to his mother's hand, Leo jumped on small puddles, getting his pants and shirt wet. The mother held herself from scolding him, but she shortly jumped into the fun when the boy pulled her to a run in the streets.
Why should she be worried, they were always dirty in the workshop.
The sound of her son's laughter lifted her heart.)
When Piper breaks into the office archives, it was raining.
She tiptoes into the hallways. She finds the room she was looking for, and enters. There's no one inside, but the room was big, with filing cabinets piled on top of each other. She locks the door behind her and turns on the lights. She walks down the room, glancing at the placards and names.
("If no one loves you...then I will.")
Piper stops, and shakes her head. There it is again. Memories keep flashing in her mind at random moments. Sometimes she gets so absorbed in those memories. It's almost like Hazel's blackouts; except this never happened before she ran away from her friends. It's like seeing two movies at once, and it can give anyone a headache.
She starts opening drawers and cabinets, glancing at folders, sifting through papers. Somewhere, a radio is left playing in the room. A Beatles song is on air.
Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out
It doesn't matter much to me
Piper opens a drawer, takes out an envelope and the papers in it. Then she sits on the floor and spread them out in front of her. She reads them quietly.
Let me take you down, 'cos I'm going to Strawberry Fields
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about
Strawberry Fields forever
His first life was with Esperanza Valdez, his biological mother. Up to the age of eight, when his mother was killed in a fire accident, he was a foster son to six families. He ran away six times. Six lives. And then he was found and brought to Wilderness School. He met Piper, and Jason. He was brought to Camp Half-Blood. They went on an epic quest where the three of them saved a goddess. And then he built the Argo II. They met new friends. They fought in a war against giants and mother Earth.
And then he died.
Leo Valdez had lived eight lives.
("I'm a cat."
Esperanza glanced away from her work, and looked down to her son. Leo's face was face painted with whiskers and a big dot in the middle of his nose. On the top of his head was a black bra - maybe the ears. Stuffed at the back of his shorts was her pink scarf. He was on fours, nudging his head to his mother's leg, mewling.
"Oh dear." The mother expressed surprise at first, but then she smiled. "Look at you." She squinted. "Where did you find that lingerie, though, mijo?"
"Uhh..." he looked down and took off the bra on his head. "I...uhh, found it," he muttered. "Somewhere."
Esperanza pushed herself away from her worktable and patted her lap. Leo climbed up to her knees and sat down on her. "Be sure you return where you found that, mijo, or the owner will get angry. That's a very personal item." Her scarf was getting dirtied, but she didn't mind. "Now that you're a cat, will you drink your milk? Cats love milk."
Leo frowned. "Only if you're a cat too."
"Hmmm..." Esperanza hummed. Then turned to her worktable, grabbed a black marker, and drew whiskers and a nose on her face. Leo's smile grew bigger when his mother took out a handkerchief and folded it to make cat ears and placed it on her head. "Now will you drink your milk at home?"
Leo laughed and hugged his mom. "Yes.")
Piper is under the roof of an outside cafe. She had asked a waitress for directions leading her to the nearest bus terminal. The rain has taken a thunderous turn that the inside of the cafe is starting to flood, and the staff was running around mopping the floor and fixing the leaks.
"The rain doesn't look like it's going to stop," says the old lady besides Piper.
Her husband nods and adjusts his glasses. "I hope it won't flood in our place. The cats won't like it. We should consider moving out from the neighborhood. What a lowland, this place is."
"We should move to Kansas. Jilly and her family are over Topeka. We could move near them, visit the grand kids more often."
A cat runs under one of the tables near Piper. Its fur is wet, but it shakes the water away and sits down, watches the rain, meowing.
("That's fine. No one is going to cry for me, anyway."
"That's not true. I can name a few people who will cry for you."
"Alright, name them."
"Me.")
Piper tightens her jacket and goes out to the rain.
(It was also raining the first time Leo ran away from his first foster home.
He was hanging on the window ledge of the second-story house, a bag on his shoulder, drops of cat pee from the roof falling down to his hair. He looked down and contemplated on how he should climb down. It was a far drop, and he might break a bone. Probably die if he landed wrong.
He scolded himself for planning badly. His hands were starting to slip from the ledge. His heart was beating fast. He tried to get up, but his fingers betrayed him and he fell down, screaming.
He hit the grass on his back, and something did crack inside him. A bone, an organ, his heart, it didn't matter.
He was in pain. Instead of trying to make it go away, he welcomed it. Embraced it.
He shuddered in pain for a while, crying and holding himself. He hoped they wouldn't wake up and find him. The sky rumbled loudly.
And then something woke inside him. He stopped crying. He gathered himself and stood up shakily. His back was burning in pain, but he trudged out of the lawn on to the streets.
Into the darkness.)
"I thought you like the rain."
He opens his eyes, and looks up. He lets the small drops of water wash his face.
"I still do. It helps me think. Really opposite from my element." He almost laughs. "Keeps me at bay."
He stretches out and begins walking again. She looks at him. "What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking. That's all."
"It's good if you let it out."
"Not now...I still can't make up my mind." He stretches out his arms besides him and looks up again with eyes closed. "I feel like dancing." He grins and turns to look at her. "Can you dance with me? It's been a long time since we had. Twenty years, I think."
She looks at him with concern, but manages to smile. "Of course."
Piper doesn't know where she's going. She knows she is going nowhere, but something, something just tells her that she is going the right way. And that scares her.
Her clothes are soaked, her shoes are soggy, and her hair is a nest. Her bag heavier than before. The rain is making it hard to see.
She is probably in some green park; she can see trees and concrete pathways, and benches. Homeless people are running, with cardboards and broken umbrellas above their heads, looking for shelter from the rain.
("I don't know about you, McLean..." he murmured. "I know you had problems in your place before you came to camp..." He looked away. "But living out there, in the mortal world, is like survival of the fittest, especially for a demigod. Don't you agree?")
When Piper walks out of the park, she watches a homeless girl run past her, holding a brick in her hand, and running to a storefront. She throws the brick at the window, and the glass shatters. Alarms inside the shop blare and the store owner comes out, red-faced in rage.
The girl runs away.
(It dribbled a bit the fifth time Leo ran away from his fifth foster parents.
He had already adapted into the homeless kid lifestyle. Breaking into stores to get food, sleeping in the alleyways, parks, sewers, wrapped up in jackets and spare cloths. Sharing. Trusting wasn't an option anymore. Helping others was okay, but if someone said, "trust me," he was going to turn back and run away from him.
It was midnight and he pick-locked the backdoor of a convenience store. He crawled behind the isles, looking up at the ceiling for cameras. He picked up a stick of gum and chewed on it. He found three cameras; near the cash register, the entrance of the store, and the backdoor. He picked up another gum, popped it to his mouth, chewed aggressively, and took out from his mouth, holding it between his two fingers.
He crouched against the wall of the store, slowly moving behind the cash register, at the bottom of the camera. He broke a small portion of his gum and reached up to the lens of the camera. He snickered and stuck his gum on the glass. He did the same thing to the two other cameras. Then he helped himself with the goods, stuffing it to his messenger bag. He exited through the back, and locked the door again, leaving wet footprints in the room.)
Their dance is interrupted when he starts coughing and shaking. She lets go of him and places a hand on his back, patting him gently. She knows she can't help him stop it, but she is here to comfort him.
"I'm alright," he groans, and straightens himself. "I'm fine."
She doesn't say anything.
The rain lightens for a bit. He sits down on the ground and takes deep breaths, wiping his face with his hands.
She is near. She feels it.
She is in some private subdivision. A large road. Houses besides her.
She doesn't know what is in the end. But whatever it is, it is waiting for her.
The flashes had stopped. Her whole body is shivering in excitement.
But her heart is beating slower and slower in each step.
(There was a thunderstorm the sixth time Leo ran away from his sixth foster parents.
He was in a lonely room, with only a table and a chair he was sitting on. He wasn't nervous. He was used to this.
A social worker came inside. A familiar face. Yeah, Leo knew the man well. He was a war hero, coming from the Middle East, and settled down with a job. He was a big, bulky. Dirty blond hair, square, scarred face. He was wearing an old military jacket, white shirt, jeans, and boots.
The moment he saw Leo, his face slugged.
"I was hoping I won't see you again."
Leo spread his arms. "And yet, here I am."
The social worker placed his hands on the table and stared hard at the boy. "You have an astounding record of running away, you know that? Very excellent. Very."
Leo only grinned. He focused on the pitter-patter sound of rain on the roof.
The man pulled a small bundle of papers and placed it down in front of Leo. "I know you have dyslexia, but they've decided. We're not going to give you away to another family."
Leo couldn't help but snort. The way his social worker friend said "give you away" made Leo sound like a second-hand item.
"So what happens to me, then?" he asked the man.
The social worker sifted through the papers. "You're going to Arizona, boy. To a school for kids like you. So pack your bags, if you have any, and in two days you're driving there."
Leo leaned behind his seat, propped his feet on the table, and took out a few scraps from his pockets.
The social worker sighed. "Look, boy, out of all the kids I'd sent to families and schools, so far, you're the only one still coming back. You remind me a lot of my own son."
"Mmmmm."
The man sighed again. The boy didn't seem interested in listening to a back story. He watched Leo fiddle with the small pieces of scrap. "Your mom was a mechanic, right?"
"Esperanza Valdez. Aye, mate. I learned a lot from her."
The man continued to watch him. Then he turned away. "I have other things to do. I'm pretty sure you know where to go after this."
"Got everything memorized."
The man started to remove his jacket, and turned back and said, "Hey, fetch." He threw it to the boy's direction. Leo looked up and caught the jacket just in time, confusion on his face.
"Probably the last time we'll meet, kid." He winked. "I also like what you do." He pointed at the scraps on Leo's hand. "Although, that's a little gay."
Leo looked down to his hand, at the finished product. A robotic-looking flower. He laughed and tossed it to him. "It's yours, man.")
"My head is a mess." He brings his hands to his head and ruffles his hair. "There are just...so many things happening in my mind right now. I think I'm going insane." He lets out a laugh. "It's like someone decided to drop a bomb inside of my head, and then the explosion is very slow and chaotic."
"I wish I can do something to help you," she says.
"You don't know how many people have said that to me." He stands up. He motions his head—walk with me—and places his hands on his pockets. "They all say, 'I can help you,' 'let me heal you,' 'everything will be okay,' 'everything is going to be okay...' Just...when will they understand that it won't be?"
He kicks a stone out of the way. "But I don't want them to feel bad. They go on telling me that I'm just as important as the president of the United States, or a god or something. So I tell them, 'hey, thanks, I'm fine now, I feel better. Way better.' Then I'll watch them walk away, feel like they did something right. It's nice for them to think they're doing something life-changing, like saving someone, saving me. I'm fine with the way I am. It's not like I'm dying. Except, I am." He holds his head in his two hands, as if there are voices in his head and he wants to get them out. "I have problems. Everyone has problems."
"There are people who really want to help you. There will be people wanting to help. They are kind people."
"The world isn't a kind place, is it?"
She only looks at him sadly. "You've changed."
"Yeah, a lot of people told me." He turns around. His eyes look glassy, and the rain had nothing to do with it. "I miss you, Mom."
"I miss you, too, mijo."
She feels like floating. But at the same, she's being pulled down by something. She feels like she is chained to an anchor, and she is supposed to sink.
But she wasn't.
There is only light rain. Pitter-patter, pitter-patter . Light mist, but she can still see beyond.
There are two figures. A man and a woman. They are talking quietly together, their backs towards her. She slows her walk. They stop, and she stops too.
The man turns. He has grave-looking eyes that almost throws Piper. But going past it, she immediately recognizes him.
"...Leo?"
He smiles sadly. He is avoiding her gaze, looking at her left. "Hey, McLean."
"I..I don't understand..." Piper looks at the woman besides him. She is slightly taller than him, but the same age as him, around their late twenties. She's a beautiful woman, with lips that could make a smile that can brighten anyone's day. But she isn't smiling. Her eyebrows are scrunched, and her lips are turned into a frown. Her eyes could only have concern and sadness in them.
He looks away from Piper, gesturing a hand to the other lady. "Mom, this is my friend, Piper." He looks back. "Piper, Esperanza Valdez."
"The one you've been talking about," the woman says.
He nods. Then claps his hands together. "Well, the party's complete. Where were we, Mom?"
They continue walking down the street. Piper stands there, stunned for a moment, before shaking her head. "Leo, wait!" she calls.
He turns again, still avoiding her eyes. "Yeah?"
"What...what is this?" she says. "I don't understand...what...why are you..."
Both mother and son look at each other. "If you stick around, maybe you'll know."
"No." A heavy feeling is building inside of her. "I don't know what's happening. What's happening to me. And then..." She gulps. "You suddenly start invading my dreams and thoughts it's driving me crazy. I couldn't think straight, and then I have this stupid dream. I ran away from my friends. I don't know how long have I been wandering. And then I'm here. You're here. "
He shrugs. "Indeed I am."
That simple gesture, the noncommittal shrug, does it to her.
"Why the fuck are you looking like everything's normal? This isn't normal!" she shouts. "You're fucking dead! I watched you die. It's my fault that you're dead!"
"I made you think like that."
"What?"
"Mijo," Esperanza moves behind Leo and places a hand on his shoulder. "I thought you're ready to accept it."
"I am. Just…not yet..." He shrugs. "Let me play with her for a while."
"What are you talking about?" Piper's teeth grits in anger. "Leo, look at me!"
Leo's eyes lift up slowly from the ground and stares at her eyes. Something about the way he looks at her made her pace a few steps back, and she shudders.
His lips slowly break into a wide smile. His shoulders shake, and he throws his head back and laughs, covering his face with his hand. His laugh stuns both Piper and Esperanza. He doesn't stop until after a while, drifting down to silent giggles in the end, shaking his head.
"Oh, Piper. Piper, Piper, Piper McLean." He chants her name like a song. "Do you want to know what's going on? Do you really want to know?"
She doesn't know how to respond. But then, there's nothing to say. She is paralyzed.
He laughs, this time louder again. "I'm going crazy. I'm really going crazy." He spins around, spreading his arms. He's like innocent child, playing in the rain. He stops, taking a few breaths, and then looks back at Piper. He moves closer to her, but in the way how one would approach a lion.
"I know that you know the truth already, McLean," he mutters. "We have the same mind."
"W-what?"
"Piper..." he leans closer. "Right now, I'm talking to thin air."
"I..."
Something inside of her rises. Something else. Her anger is gone. Or rather, all of her emotions are gone. She is feeling nothing. "I don't...understand..."
"You're not real, Piper," Leo says softly. "I didn't die back there. You did."
"No...that's...that's not true..." She holds her head. "I saw you. I was there...I was holding you...you were so cold..."
Esperanza watches her sadly. Leo places his hands behind him and walks around Piper. "You're dead, Piper," he declares. "You're just a figment of my imagination."
"But our friends! Percy, Frank, Annabeth...Hazel...Nico...Jason..."
He smiles sadly.
She looks up and tried to reach out, but Leo quickly backs away, looking slightly horrified. He adjusts himself.
"It's not true. It's not true!" she yells. It can't be. She pushes the rising feeling of emptiness down. He's gone insane. "Stop playing with me Valdez!"
"You're denying it."Leo muses, but he seems to direct it to himself than to her."I'm making you deny it. I want Piper McLean to deny that she's just imaginary, convinced that she's real. Real enough for poor old Leo Valdez that he started seeing her, and he imagined her actually standing in front of him, talking to him. Wow! And he imagines her shouting to Leo Valdez. 'No, no, I'm real, I'm real!'."
The impression of her voice in his is terrible.
"Because, after all you've been through, after all the shit that you did to come here, the answer you got is, 'I'm just a fictional character based on a dead friend!' Yes, Piper, I've gone insane. I've been insane for a long time, years actually. Maybe ever since I was born."
She fights.
Piper McLean fights so fiercely (but maybe that's just Leo making her fight, again), but then the feeling won, overwhelming her.
Realization.
Acceptance.
The painful truth, for her.
(But, specifically, for him).
Her knees give way. Leo looks like he wants to help her up, but, ah, he can't. Touching her would be touching air, and even though he accepts now that she isn't real, he still doesn't want to make it a fact. Piper McLean isn't the one trying to justify or deny her existence.
It is all Leo.
Poor old Leo, in his conflicted mind. All of Piper's thoughts are Leo's. All of Piper's actions are because Leo wants her to do them. And all the shit that happened to her - Leo threw those to her. Her story has been written and narrated, not by Piper, but by him from the very beginning, and she doesn't know, because she lives in a sandbox created by Leo Valdez, where he orchestrates everything, where he is the omniscient being, where he does all the decisions, all the writing.
And it hurt her so much.
(Which is funny, because it might have just been Leo making her think that this hurt her.)
"So...I'm not the real Piper McLean..." she whispers to herself.
"No." He smiles again. "You're my ideal version of Piper McLean. I don't think the real one, the dead one, would care so much of Leo Valdez she still wouldn't accept his 'death' for a long time, then run away from her friends and boyfriend, and go searching for him."
"But when?" she says. "When did it start? When did it start becoming...unreal?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
("I guess I'll tell you everything.")
His memory of the incident long ago was replaced with a fabricated memory and told himself that this was the truth, it should be the truth.
The fictional world he made was his truth, and the world he lived in right now was the lie.
But if he dug deeper in his mind, he could find the real thing again, dusty and worn out in age, with dark holes and blotches, cuts, blurs, burnt black.
He did not remember the memory vividly; he wanted to forget it. But he remembered the important bits at least.
And when he said important, he meant the things he wanted to permanently bury.
He was confronted by a monster. (What kind of monster, he had forgotten, and refused to recall it.) A big monster that was too powerful for him to fight, but he was fighting it, at the edge of Tartarus. It grabbed Leo and threw to the other side. He hit the wall, and he fell down. Blood started to pool around him.
Piper was there, watching him. "Leo!"
"Stay away!" he yelled. "Get Jason and get out of here!"
("I don't know where the others were. But I know it was me, you, and Jason.")
He stood up, shakily. His forehead was bleeding and there was a deep nasty cut on his arm. "I'll...I'll catch up with you," he murmured.
("But really, it's just you and me.")
The monster charged, and Leo dodged to the side. He summoned fire in his hands and seared its side. It roared and punched him, making him stumble and skid across the floor again. His clothes were torn, and most of his wounds were exposed. He was so tired. So weak. And it took all his will to keep in touch with his consciousness.
The monster brought his giant fist to Leo's head, almost bashing it to the floor. He heard a girl scream, and he knew where it came from.
"I said stay away!"
He stood up again, a small flame on his palm. Then he brought it to the ground, and in a moment, he was inside a large ring of fire with the monster, like an arena.
("I was going to die anyway.")
He was losing so much blood. It was dripping down to his fingers, soaking the blackened clothes. Broken bones, some of them disfigured. He didn't care. His inner organs felt like they wanted to explode.
The ground shook, and he lost his balance.
The monster roared, barred his knuckles again, but Leo rolled away just in time. He picked up an old sword near him and ran, driving his weapon into the monster's stomach. The monster shivered, roaring so loud, but it punched Leo. He stood his ground, holding on to the sword, and set it on fire. He stepped back and watched the fire engulf the monster. The more Leo moved, the more he could feel his fractured and broken bones inside of him. He collapsed, dying in his own wounds, when the monster persisted and roared again.
"Die already, goddammit!" Leo yelled.
The monster, still burning in fire, took out the sword from its stomach. It grabbed Leo's neck and lifted him up in the air, the other hand ready to drive the sword to his chest.
"Leo! No!"
("But it didn't end right here.")
Piper jumped over the wall the flame and came running to them, her dagger unsheathed. The monster turned away and glared at her. When it brought down its sword, Piper parried it away with her own weapon.
There was a moment where a sword and knife battle took place. She was an excellent close-combat fighter, better than Leo was. She was brisk and graceful at the same time, slashing and kicking, sometimes jumping to avoid or to bring more pressure in her attacks. Leo watched her
Finally, the monster threw her across, and she stopped at the edge of Tartarus. While she was down, the monster brought the sword down to her stomach.
Piper screamed in pain. Tears started to go down from her eyes. But she got a hold of herself, and held the blade of the sword and pulled it out of her body, kicking the monster away.
Leo almost screamed her name, but he couldn't find his voice anymore. He stood up, gathering what little strength he had, and urged his body to respond to his thoughts. He ran and with all his force, pushed the monster to the edge, and wrapped his arms around its waist.
Leo closed his eyes tightly, pulling the monster with him, jumping down back to the giant hole which was the entrance to Tartarus. This is it. I'm going to die.
("Because you're the most stubborn person I've ever met in my entire life.")
Piper grabbed Leo's arm, and the monster clung to Leo's feet. It sneered in dissatisfaction, bellowing in a language he couldn't understand.
"Piper, let...go of...me." His voice was barely audible.
She didn't say anything, but she pulled Leo up a bit, and then aimed her dagger to the monster's face. Like a catapult, she brought her arm back and threw Katoptris at the monster.
The dagger went through the monster's head, and it let out the most ear-piercing roar they had heard. It began slowly disintegrating from the bottom.
The monster let go of Leo and it fell to down to the dark abyss, turning into golden dust.
Piper pulled Leo and embraced him tightly.
Then her grip loosened, letting him go, and she slumped to the ground. Her face was turned to the cave ceiling.
"Piper..." Leo crawled to her and took her in his arms. She was rapidly losing blood. "Piper, stick with me," he croaked. "Come on, we'll get out of here. Just...hold on..."
"You're so warm..." Piper murmured.
"Don't say that." He tried to stand up, but he was too weak, and his arms were shaking. He started to crawl away from the edge, his knees scrapping the jagged floor. "I don't...want my stupid goddamn dream to happen..."
"L-Leo..."
"I said don't say anything! Just...please, goddammit, why did you come for me?"
Piper managed a weak smile. Her eyelids were fluttering, trying to keep hold on her consciousness, and her hot breath hit Leo's face. Her clothes were stained red, and the blood was getting to Leo's shirt.
The ground shook again. Leo recovered a small amount of strength, and managed to get on his feet, lifting Piper with him. They were almost at the exit, when rocks and sand started to fall from above, and the way was blocked. Leo screamed in frustration, and he dropped on his knees. He leaned on the wall, holding Piper tightly.
Her breathing pattern was getting slower. Leo tried to cover her wound with his coat, pressing his hand on it, trying to stop the bleeding. "Stick with me, Pipes..." he kept whispering, but he was shaking. Not because it was cold. But he was afraid. "The others will find us...they'll come for us...just..."
"It's too late..."
"It's not too late!" He shouted, looking at her. "I know Jason is going to strangle me for dragging you into a stupid monster fight, but he'll definitely kill me when you're...you're...Gods!" He hugged her tightly. She ran her fingers in his curly hair.
"Leo..." Piper managed to say weakly. "In the ship...remember...when you said...that all you want...is a happy ending..?"
His throat tightened. "Yeah..."
"I know...what I want now." She smiled. "I want...a happy ending, too."
There was almost no warmth left in her body. Leo panicked, trying to warm her with the heat emanating from his own. Piper reached out and held Leo's head, placing her forehead to his. They stared at each other for a long time. For a moment, their eyes shined brightly. They dropped their defenses and exposed themselves. They looked beyond their facades, and saw their true selves.
Piper closed her eyes. There were a few slow deep breaths. Then it stopped altogether.
Leo shook and started to cry.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(Piper wasn't the only one who died. After the battle, they built pyres for the others too. They whispered eulogies and kind words, and, while they had the opportunity to do so, the plans they had for the future with the deceased. (Settling down, start a family, study in a college, go to some other country, things like that.) Leo volunteered to be the one to set these pyres in flames. Like the others, he grieved for them.
It was just that Leo cared for Piper a little more than the rest.
(Setting her pyre on fire was one of the hardest things he ever did in his life.)
He didn't admit it to anyone at first.
But he opened up a little gradually to his friends, and they even noticed the difference.
In the past, he had feigned openness to everyone, pretending that he really was sharing and telling about all his life to make himself feel better.
He talked to Hazel, and told her everything. They talked about the sense of loss and loneliness. They had a lot in common, when it came to losing people who were important to them. He admitted that he was glad that she was still here, still alive, and that she had a second chance to live, and that they met. She smiled—although he didn't know why—and lightly kissed his lips.
(He sensed that it was a friendly one, and that was okay.)
He even cried in front of Jason, telling him that it was all his fault that his girlfriend was dead. Seeing how Leo looked so weak surprised Jason; he dropped whatever boundaries they had earlier and embraced his best friend, telling that it was never his fault.
It only made Leo cry harder.
Trying to live normally was the worst task Leo could do. He was just bad at it. Going back to Camp Half-Blood and building things made him a little better. Camp activities kept his mind busy. Studying made his head hurt, but hey, anything to distract him from his personal thoughts.
And there was the problem with his sickness. It was one of the few things that hindered his routine. His friends had asked everyone in camp, even Hermes, the god of medicine. Heck, even other minor gods. They all shook their heads and looked at Leo with pity.
He was going to suffer from whatever the damned disease he had for the rest of his life. It sucked.
Leo wasn't prepared when it was time to move out of Camp Half-Blood. He was all his own. He knew society wasn't just going to embrace him and whisper, 'welcome back'. It was more complicated than that.
'Buy a house. Get a job. Try to act normally as possible. Don't get caught by the police. Follow the law. Just – act – normal. And you'll do fine.'
That was their advice. And Leo? He wasn't really the person to follow anyone's advice.
The incident from a long ago kept playing in his mind, and it was driving him insane. He kept blaming himself.
What-Ifs played in his thoughts.
Events that could have happened if his friends—especially her—were still alive. Thinking of alternate universes was his past time. And it kept his mind at work, kept him sane.
It wasn't bad thinking about what-ifs, he knew about that. But then he started to weave and connect pieces of his what-if stories, and create an alternate universe altogether.
A world where Piper McLean lived.
He tried to be realistic, making sure everyone was in character. It was hard to imagine her, but he slowly slipped inside of her like a jumpsuit, and eventually he knew how to act and talk like Piper McLean like she was a part of him from the start.
In his little world he wanted Piper to be happy.
Because he had to keep it realistic, they were not together, but they remained as close friends. A dash of stolen kisses and midnight dances, maybe, to add a little drama in her life, but she got married to someone else. She was happy, and he was happy, too. He watched her grow, get a family, have children, grow old.
He wanted to make sure that Piper would get the happy ending she wanted.
The world he made was so real and convincing he lost the touch with real life. He lost the touch with the truth. All his imaginary stories turned into his truth. When he woke up, he tried to go back to sleep. He kept staring to empty spaces. His body condition was getting worse than ever, with the lack of care.
Then the bad dreams came.
The truth was in those dreams, and he didn't want that. He tried to avoid sleep, and slip back to his world, but there it was again; the flashes of bad memories, repeating in his mind. Memories he tried so hard to bury and lock away, with the key thrown out.
But they kept coming to him, haunting him, again and again.
He knew what it all meant. He knew he couldn't keep it away from him forever.
It was time for him to open up and accept the real truth.)
"—so I thought of another story," he says. "'What if Leo Valdez died instead of Piper McLean? What if everyone was alive, except for Leo?' Piper McLean is still protagonist, of course—that's you, obviously. And...well...you know the rest."
The rain stops, but it was dark and cloudy and cold.
Piper looks down on the ground. "What about the memories?" her voice shakes. "The memories that keep...projecting in my mind, after...after you 'died'. I know you know what I mean. Please don't tell me they're not real, too..."
"Don't worry, Pipes. They're real. Although, I didn't mean them to interfere with your lifestyle and your story." He takes out his hands from his pockets and shrugs again. "It's a glitch I tried to fix. It was really just me having to deal with my nightmares. But I left it there, to add more drama and plot drive in your story. Add more purpose. It's very hard to convince you out of your natural habitat and thoughts unless it's something personal."
She looks at Esperanza, who smiles reassuringly at her. It made Piper feel a little bit better.
"So...I'm here because you want to face your other self," Piper said. "The Piper McLean that is a surrogate of all your emotions. The one who cries for you, laughs for you, smiles for you, because you forgot what it feels like to cry, laugh, and smile, because you are numbed. The one you made and became a part of you. And you want to accept that she's dead and whatever you do, she won't come back."
"I don't know about the 'coming back' part. The real Piper probably tried for reincarnation, and she's probably here somewhere in the world. But you're right." Leo turns to his mother. "Thanks for waiting with me. I think I can handle it from here."
Esperanza nods. "I'll always love you, Leo."
Then she is gone.
Just…gone.
It's only Leo and Piper now.
The clouds starts to part. At the end of the street, rays of sunlight is starting to peek from behind.
Piper sighs, and smiles. "Am I going to poof like your mom? Am I...going to disappear, just like that...? No Elysium for me to go?"
"Well, I don't know where dead thoughts go. I can make you an Elysium if you want."
"And then live knowing I'm just a figment of your imagination?" She laughs a broken laugh. "I think I can't manage." Tears starts to stream down her cheeks. "Piper loves you, Leo. She really does. Just remember that."
"I don't know. Maybe she does. Maybe not. I can't be sure. Well, I don't have much time anyway. With this disease inside of me, I'm bound to die soon. Very soon. If I'm lucky, I'll end up in Elysium and meet her again."
"And you have your happy ending." She grins. Her body is shaking, and she starts to sob between her words. "I hope you end up in Tartarus again."
He laughs again.
So loud, so painful, so lonely. He stops. He looks like he wants to cry, too.
"You're crazy."
"I thought you like all thoughts and acts of insanity."
His mouth drops in a frown. He bites his lip and then smiles that even he himself didn't know the meaning behind it. "I do."
Then she disappears, like anything else in the life of Leo Valdez.
(end)
Afterword: It is finally done! All three stories! Other than my novel-lengthed fics, inspiration in writing all three stories drew from the novel Ilustrado by Miguel Syjuco, you may notice that the quotes before the stories are all from the same book. The titles of the stories, (The Bridges Ablaze, The Enlightened, Eight Lives Lived) are also fictional novels written by the character Crispin Salvador.
I like to thank my readers, new and old, quiet ones and the ones who are really loud. Also want to take Hazelle More for proof-reading the whole thing.
If you like this trilogy, you may also like An Act Of Defiance, which I will be soon updating in the near future, now that I have a slightly clear schedule in writing. Again, thank you for reading! Leave a review for your honest thoughts about the story.