It was strange and lonely at Hogwarts without Harry and Ron, but Hermione kept telling herself it was only a year. She had returned to Hogwarts to complete her N.E.W.T.S. after the battle; Harry and Ron had decided not to. She could understand why. After the Battle, everything had changed, and Harry had told her that, however much he had loved Hogwarts, he couldn't dream of returning. All those dead... and all those Death Eaters who had fled after Voldemort fell.
After what they had done to bring Voldemort down, the three of them had been offered Auror training: even without N.E.W.T.S. Harry and Ron had immediately accepted, but Hermione knew her place was here, for now. She was in her favourite place in the world: the Hogwarts library, smiling to herself as she drank in the listening silence of thousands of books. It was pure therapy, much-needed.
After the fraught year of combing the country for Horcruxes, breaking into Gringotts, being held prisoner in Malfoy Manor, and many other things which now seemed almost a strange dream, it was good to be back here...good to smell the beautiful new parchment, relax as she dipped a quill into the raven-black ink and write her first elegant sentence for Professor Flitwick's essay on Gemino, or Doubling, charms. This was even easier than usual...images of Bellatrix Lestrange's vault, and a mountain of gold and treasure expanding at terrifying speed, filled her mind, and she scrawled away...
"Hello, Hermione," said a dreamy voice behind her, and she looked up to see Luna Lovegood standing by her table, clutching a very large fork.
"Hello, Luna," she smiled back, deciding not to ask about the fork. Sometimes it was better not to know. But she was pleased to see Luna: they had been spending a lot of time together. Without Harry and Ron she had found rather a void in her life, and she and Luna had drifted together like two lost leaves from the same tree. She had always liked Luna, but only with the absence of Harry and Ron had they had the time and space to grow closer. Her peaceful quirkiness was oddly relaxing.
"I thought I'd find you in here," said Luna, sitting next to her. "It's your special place, everyone has one."
"This is definitely mine," said Hermione, putting her quill back in the ink pot. "What's yours?"
"The Owlery," said Luna, looking at her with her large, pale eyes. "I like to sit there by myself in the evenings...it's a soothing place. Helps me forget..."
Hermione nodded, casting her eyes to the table. They had to grieve, of course...but there was the sheer number that had died at the Battle of Hogwarts, the fallen fifty, the many people they had known and loved. One couldn't dwell on it all the time. That way madness lay. They had to be strong and continue their lives – only, sometimes, it was so hard. Remus, Tonks, Fred... each left a raw, gaping hole. Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy teacher, killed, mercilessly, by Fenrir Greyback...little Colin Creevey, so brave and so silly...Dean Thomas, who tried to tackle the Carrows...
"Did you come to find me to ask about something in particular, Luna?" said Hermione, after they had sat their awhile, lost in remembrance.
Luna smiled, dreamy as ever. "Yes, as a matter of fact. You are very perceptive. I have been thinking lately...after I had a chat with Harry, that is –"
But at this moment Madame Pince appeared at their shoulders, glaring down at them. "If you aren't working, I suggest you find somewhere else to continue your conversation," she said, eyes narrowed.
Hermione got up guiltily, tipping her homework things and books into her bag, and Luna simply smiled and started to wander to the door. Hermione followed, and as though by unspoken agreement, they headed for the Owlery in the gathering twilight.
It was peaceful up here, Luna was right. Hermione had rarely been up here: she didn't have an owl, and if she had ever wanted to send a letter to her parents Harry had always obligingly lent her Hedwig, and taken her letter up to the Owlery for her. Now, of course, she had no need to send any letter to her parents, far away in Australia with no idea who she was...
They sat together on the floor of the balcony, looking out over the vast and magnificent Hogwarts grounds. Owls swooped softly overhead, their wings whistling, as they left their perches to hunt.
"I had a chat with Harry the other day, when he came to Hogwarts on Auror business," said Luna, as though their conversation had not been interrupted, and Hermione nodded. She, too, had seen Harry briefly, before he had to leave for a meeting with Kingsley Shacklebolt, the new Minister for Magic.
"And something he said made me think...I assume you knew Sirius and Harry's dad were Animagi?"
"Er- yes," said Hermione, a little surprised. "Harry mentioned it?"
"Yes, it came up," said Luna thoughtfully. "I never realised...he said Sirius could become a dog at will, and his Dad a stag."
"Yes," said Hermione. "And Peter Pettigrew was a rat...they became Animagi together, in their fifth year. Remus told us. It was to keep him company when he transformed."
Luna was looking at her very intently, her face cupped in her hands. "That was a very nice thing for them to do. They must have been true friends."
"I'm sure they were," said Hermione, looking at Luna curiously. "Although Peter later...well, never mind. They were very good friends at the time."
"I know what Pettigrew did," said Luna softly. "He was a coward. But we're not like that."
"What do you mean, Luna?" said Hermione, although she had an inkling of what was coming.
"I wondered," said Luna calmly, "If you would like to become Animagi with me."
There was a very long pause as Hermione looked carefully at Luna, trying to see if she was joking. After a while, it became clear she wasn't.
"Luna," she said slowly. "What's brought this on?"
Luna was sitting gracefully, knees pulled up and hands resting on her thighs. Her long, straggly hair gleamed in the light from the rising moon.
"I can't stop thinking about it all," she said softly. "I know they aren't really gone...they are just behind the veil, like Mother...but it was all so terrible, wasn't it? I see their bodies, on the floor, when I'm least expecting it. I need something...to take my mind off everything...a project. I just didn't know what. And when I heard what Harry's dad and Sirius did...I thought of us. It was so wonderful. A symbol almost, of true friendship. And we're almost good friends, aren't we, Hermione?"
Hermione didn't pause. "We're very good friends, Luna. And – it would certainly be a project...it would take my mind off things, too, but...we simply can't. It would be risky, very. It's extremely difficult, and dangerous if it goes wrong. Not to mention illegal."
"You're the best witch in the whole school," said Luna simply. "If anyone can do it, you can. And I'm not in Ravenclaw for nothing. Wouldn't you love to be an Animagus?"
Her eyes were gleaming. Hermione's breath caught in her throat as she imagined it, more than a fleeting fantasy in one of Professor McGonagall's lessons, but as an actual possibility...
"What do you think you would be?" Luna asked, smiling faintly.
"I don't know...maybe an otter, that's my Patronus. But I think you can choose...I researched it when we did Animagi in class...but an otter would be nice, wouldn't it?"
And in that moment she knew she'd agreed.
It was a surreal few months. As she'd told Luna, turning into Animagi without permission was illegal: the correct route was to request permission from the Ministry, whilst providing lots of complex paperwork which proved one's qualification, ability, etcetera, so as to be allowed to go ahead under close supervision and with qualified help, and once successful be added to the Ministry's Animagi Register. Due to the complexity of the magic required, and the tortuous administrative procedure, most people were put off from trying very quickly: the process also involved rather a lot of gold, to pay for the transformation supervision and a hefty registration fee. The whole system was designed, essentially, to put people off, and on the whole it worked. At least, there were certainly very few registered Animagi, and those there were, were mostly born with the ability.
So Luna and Hermione rather quickly decided to take the same route as James, Sirius and Peter: to go ahead with the Transformation in secret. It was really rather exciting...Hermione was more used to rule breaking, after several years of schooling with Harry and Ron as her best friends, but breaking the law was on another level. Still: somehow, after the Battle, and everything they had gone through, it seemed more trivial than it would once have done, and soon she found she was concentrating only on the technical difficulties.
Of which, it turned out, there were many. The Animagi transformation was the most complex piece of magic she had ever seen, after – with difficulty – finding the instructions tucked away in an obscure and little-handled book in the Restricted Section.
It required a fluid convergence of three magical disciplines: Charms, Transfiguration, and Potions. One couldn't, it transpired, do it alone: a large part of the transformation had to be done whilst the would-be-Animagus was asleep, or unconscious, else the shock to the brain would be terribly damaging or fatal, and had to be performed by a third party. Waking during this part of the transformation was unthinkably dangerous...
It therefore required a correctly brewed Draught of Living Death, as no other sleep potion was strong enough: and cautious administration, as more than a few drops could tip the sleeper over the other side...and for this, they needed just the tiniest amount, so they could sink into deepest sleep for just an hour each, to give each other the opportunity to perform the Transfiguration spells.
"And we need to make another potion," said Luna, flicking through the book (they were in a quiet corner of the Owlery, by now a favourite haunt for them both for planning what they were doing). "It's required to be drunk at the beginning of the Transformation process, an Acquiescence Potion...it puts one into a fluid and submissive state, to readily allow the body and mind to accept the great changes about to be inflicted."
Hermione flinched a little at the word 'inflicted', but Luna continued serenely: "And then there are the Transfiguration spells, combined with various charms of Change...some we perform on ourselves, some we do to each other while unconscious...they do look very difficult. We'll have to practice a lot before we try anything."
A lot of it – concentrating absolutely, every particle of one's mind, on the animal you were striving to become during the process – seemed to come down to strength of mind, and Hermione wasn't even sure she had this any more after the last year. Sometimes her mind felt fractured, bruised...yet this project was benefitting her in that way, it seemed: giving her something to focus on, and work towards. Between N.E.W.T.S. classes, homework, and secret Animagus study, she didn't have time to dwell on the horrors of the recent past; she felt her focus and determination growing each day.
It was also, apparently, very important to know what animal that would be; it seemed to be the witch or wizard's choice, but a ready affinity with the animal was essential. The rule was simple: if you don't feel like a grizzly bear, don't try to be a grizzly bear Animagus, even if it sounds cool in your head. If you know, deep down, you are more of a squirrel: small, playful, cheeky...then strive to be a squirrel. The book had slightly too many illustrative examples of witches or wizards who had tried to turn themselves into animals they were not the slightest bit like – mangled half-humans, half-tigers, for example...or lethal-looking king cobras with the twisted hindquarters of a rabbit.
With this in mind, Hermione and Luna looked to their Patronuses for guidance: Hermione's sleek otter, and Luna's wide-eyed hare. They felt the link to these creatures already: Hermione loved to watch her silvery Patronus otter gambol and play, and liked the idea of being able to run swiftly and swim with ease. Luna had crept out of the castle on many occasions during the mating season, to watch, under the light of the moon, the hares box at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, ethereal, beautiful, and was ready to join their ranks.
They made the two potions in Myrtle's bathroom, of course (she was delighted to have the company, but gloomily pretended otherwise). When they were ready, Hermione filled a vial of each, poured the rest down the toilet, and kept the vials carefully stashed away in her school trunk.
And they practised, as best they could (on inanimate objects), the transfiguration spells and charms of Change...the most complex magic either of them had ever done. But Hermione was, as Luna had said, the most adept witch in the school – and it wasn't long before she realised she was ready: she was confident she could perform the spells on a human just as well as she could on a pillow or a chair. Luna surprised her. She didn't complain, or stress out, or seem to worry at all: just drifted into the empty classroom they'd used every day to practise, and dreamily went ahead casting the spells, far beyond N.E.W.T. level...it looked as though she wasn't trying at all, but in just a few weeks she appeared suddenly at Hermione's side (she had a habit of doing this), looking at her with a wide smile.
"You're ready?" said Hermione, her stomach suddenly leaping with nerves.
"Yes," said Luna simply. "I'm ready."
In fact, they waited a full two weeks more, until the full moon...this wasn't mentioned in the instructions anywhere, but Luna seemed convinced it would work better ("the full moon gives us all great strength and power, Hermione"). And of course, it had to be done at night, where no one would find them...they settled on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, in a little clearing not too far in.
And then it was time. Everything they needed was tucked into her robes; they knew the order of things off by heart. They met in the clearing at midnight, the full moon casting an eerie glow over their pale faces as they stared at each other: nervous, of course, but excited too...
Hermione felt a little guilty that she was going ahead without mentioning any of this to Ron; but it wasn't something she really wanted to just put in a letter. Besides...she could surprise him...if it worked. If it didn't work...well, she wasn't going to think about that. She needed to concentrate, now.
Luna was smiling strangely at her.
"Are you okay, Luna?" said Hermione.
Luna took a little while to reply, and Hermione saw to her surprise that tears were glistening at the corners of her eyes. "Hermione...you are a really nice friend."
Hermione felt herself go a little pink. "Don't be silly," she said. "I'm doing this for me, too. But I am glad we are friends, Luna...if this works, we are going to have so much fun."
They looked at each other, breathing quickly, and then as if by a signal, Hermione pulled out the little vial of Acquiescence Potion from her robes, poured half into another vial, gave one to Luna – and they drank it in one swallow.
Immediately her muscles relaxed, her nerves dissolved like so much sugar in a cup of tea...and her mind felt oddly clear and open...Luna was looking even more vague and faraway, in front of her...
It was a long night and the strangest Hermione ever passed.
Under the soothing influence of the Acquiescence Potion they drifted through the steps of the transformation like sleep-walkers, knowing the way to go – they'd drummed it into each other so that the method was tattooed into their minds – and focusing, always, on the animal they were striving to become. The Changing Charms, interwoven with great precision with Charms of Choice, they performed on themselves, giving the ability to change, at will...but the Changing Charms needed something to latch onto, a physical being – and that was what they needed to do to each other, whilst deep under the influence of the Draught of Living Death...
Hermione had calculated the exact amount of Living Death they would need prior to coming out. Just a few drops would knock a full-grown man unconscious for a day; they were both much smaller than a full-grown man, and needed only an hour. She had syringed off less than an eighth of a drop each, and for ease of consumption had soaked this tiny amount of potion into a piece of bread each. She pulled these out now and they took one each. Luna went first, chewing her bread and swallowing quickly; then her eyes glazed over and she fell, completely silently, to the hard ground, a tangle of loose limbs.
Hermione worked methodically, concentrating on the image of Luna's wide-eyed hare with every part of her being...the dark of the forest and the hooting of owls faded to nothing as she passed her wand repeated over Luna's prostrate body, chanting the Transfiguration spells, directing the fluid transformation process like a sculptor...head, torso, hips, arms and legs, hands, feet...they writhed, shrank and changed gruesomely under her persuasive direction.
After an hour, exhausted, she stopped, triumph filling her as she looked at the small hare crumpled on the dewy grass, limbs flopping, large ears starting to twitch as the animal awoke...
The hare's eyes opened wide and looked directly at her, and it got up, slowly, uncertainly, looking down at its tiny paws and white furry belly in growing wonder...Hermione couldn't help laughing when the hare shook itself, leapt into the air, then gave a few ecstatic bounds around the clearing, chasing its tail, before changing in a whirl of arms, legs and tangled hair into a laughing Luna Lovegood.
"Hermione, you did it!" she said, her hands pressed against her cheeks in shock and delight. "I can't believe it! Now, quickly – your turn...it's sunrise..."
Hermione swallowed her piece of bread and blacked out instantly.
When she came to she didn't immediately know where she was...puzzled, she felt the wet grass on her face, the warmth of the morning sun on her fur – her fur? She opened her eyes and saw Luna's face, bending down from far above, to look at her – she was so big!
Remembering everything in a rush, Hermione looked down at herself and saw a sleek, glossy otter's body...took a few hesitant steps, using all four paws and feeling her long tail dragging behind – this was weird – then, like Luna, lost herself in the sudden joy of animalhood and frisked, most un-Hermione-like, in the long wet grass. She heard Luna laughing again above her, and, focusing her mind, she changed into a human – it was so easy, she just had to think it...
They stood looking at each other in the glowing morning light, pink-cheeked with triumph. They had done it. They had really done it. A second later, they fell into each other's arms and hugged each other fiercely, both crying a few uncontrollable tears.
"What will Ron and Harry think?" said Luna, eventually.
"They'll be furious we did it without them," said Hermione. "Really mad. Maybe it'll just be our little secret...for now anyway...perhaps one day we can help them do the same..."
They fell silent, looking over the grounds and beyond to the great mountains: a whole world where one day, they could travel in perfect freedom, undetected...Hermione felt all her cares, her grief, lift from her shoulders. It wasn't over – of course not, and she'd never, never forget her fallen friends – but what an adventure lay ahead of her now she was an Animagus. Luna's face was alight with wild happiness.
The early sun's rays cast a pinkish golden glow over themselves and the Forest clearing, and then, by mutual unspoken agreement, they transformed.
As the inhabitants of Hogwarts slept on, and only the centaurs stirred deep in the Forest, a hare and an otter ran together, jumping and leaping over the castle grounds.
Please review, and check out my other story, The Divide!
~Beedle