They wash up at Stark Tower before hitting up the IHOP on 14th street a couple of hours after a battle against some strange green guy with a flying skateboard. Thankfully, New York hadn't been destroyed (save for the rooftop of Stark Tower. Again.), so they were able to go on with their lives as normal after the battle. And for Steve and Thor, that meant going to get some food.
Tony had mentioned IHOP in passing, but they had never had the chance to actually go to the restaurant. It's nearly ten o'clock at night when Steve opens the door to the diner and the two walk in, and they are hit with the aroma of pancake batter and grease. Thor's stomach growls loudly, causing the hostess to blink at them before tiredly asking if they wanted a booth or a table. They choose a booth. They always choose a booth when they dine out.
They thank the waitress and open their menus to decide on their meals. Steve and Thor have already decided to get breakfast because Tony said that 'that's what you do' when you go to IHOP. Steve's eyes widen as he takes in the wonderful array of breakfast plates that he can choose from. There are omelets and waffles and bacon and crepes and . . .
"Oh, but the pancakes smile at you at this establishment!" exclaims Thor, pointing at a picture on the menu of a plate of pancakes with cherry eyes and a whipped cream mouth. "What a nice thing for a meal to do!"
Steve chuckles and says, "I think those are for the kids to eat, Thor."
"I see no other images of pancakes on this menu."
Steve drops it and lets Thor's imagination run wild. He looks back at his menu when he comes across the Breakfast Combos. He's never heard of country fried steak before, so he figures he'll give it a go. He's closing his menu when he sees Thor staring at a little sign on their table that reads 'Slather. Pour. Eat. Repeat.'. He's contemplating what that even means as their waitress comes over with a pad and a pen in hand, looking tired. Steve feels bad. It is late.
"What can I get for you?" She sounds bored.
"I'll have the Country Fried Steak & Eggs, please," says Steve, smiling at her. She nods back without smiling.
"And you?"
But Thor isn't paying attention to her. No, he's still looking at that little sign on the table with an expression of wonder on his face. "Thor, buddy, you gonna order?"
Thor blinks and looks at the waitress. "What does this 'All You Can Eat Pancake' sign entail? May I truly be served all the pancakes I can eat?"
"Yes," she answers like she is talking to a mentally handicapped person. To be fair, Steve concedes, that was probably a stupid question.
"Brilliant! I will have two, please," says Thor, beaming.
The waitress narrows her eyes at him. "I'm gonna put you down for one."
"But surely Steven would like to embark on the quest to eat all the pancakes he possibly can!"
"I'm good with my steak and eggs," Steve says mainly to the waitress, who rolls her eyes and leaves.
"I am not sure if you understand the implications of this type of a meal. The Lady Jane once took me to a buffet, and I was able to eat anything I desired. Anything. It was a most wonderful experience," Thor says, his eyes imploring. Clearly he is not happy that Steve passed on such a golden opportunity.
"Yeah but in order to recuperate quickly I need more protein, not carbs."
Thor nods, but looks truly sorry for Steve. Steve shakes his head. Whatever.
The waitress comes back with water for the two of them while they wait for their food. Steve looks around the restaurant and sees that it is nearly empty. There are only three other groups occupying the tables: a family of four who has a little boy was falling asleep on his father's shoulder, a couple sharing a plate of crepes, and an old man nursing a cup of coffee and a plate of waffles. Steve thinks they all look tired, but that's to be expected when it's almost ten-thirty on a Tuesday night.
The smell of eggs and pancakes hits his nostrils and Steve looks up to see their waitress returning with their meals. She sets the plates down and tells them to call her if they need anything before going to another booth to sit down. Thor looks quite upset about the lack of a whipped cream face on his pancakes, but he does not voice his dejection. Steve starts to dig into his meal. The steak is good, nothing on the filet mignon that from the restaurant that he and Natasha went to last weekend, but it hit the spot after a long battle.
He looks up and sees Thor contemplating the different syrups in front of him. "What are you doing?"
"There is quite the array of syrups that I may choose from."
There are about six different syrups in front of them. "Yeah, I guess there are."
"Does this syrup truly contain the butter of pecans?"
"I don't know." Steve doesn't even know what pecan butter tastes like.
"That is very unhelpful in helping me to make this arduous decision."
"Why don't you just choose one for this plate and use another one for the next plate you get? It's all you can eat, right?"
"That is wise of you, Captain. I shall do that."
He pours copious amounts of butter pecan syrup on his plate of pancakes before shoveling them into his mouth.
Steve continues to eat his meal as well. The two of them don't talk, just eat, but this is normal for them. They typically dine together after missions, and they are usually so hungry that they focus on eating, not making small talk. They don't really need to make small talk anyway; the meals talk for them.
"Waitress," Thor calls, "I would like another serving of pancakes, if you please."
Everyone in the restaurant looks up at the sound of Thor's booming voice. Steve doesn't even blush – he's used to it by now. The waitress look slightly affronted at being addressed this way, but she goes into the kitchen and within a minute, she brings out another plate of pancakes.
"Thank you, kind lady."
The waitress blinks, bemused at the title, but then nods and goes to check in on the other tables. Thor pours blueberry syrup on his new plate on pancakes. Steve is just starting to feel full when he finishes his last bite of sunny-side-up eggs. He leans back to find that Thor is nearly done with his new plate of pancakes.
"Wow." It's impressive.
Thor grins, syrup coloring his lips. "You have missed out on a joyous occasion." He swallows his last bite of pancakes. He calls out, pointing at his plate, "Waitress, if you please?"
Thor is on his ninth plate of pancakes. His ninth plate, which means when he finishes this, he will have eaten twenty-seven pancakes. Steve has been finished for twenty minutes and is now nursing a cup of coffee, watching as Thor does the impossible and finishes the plate.
They're all gathered around him now, except for the couple who left a little while ago. The little boy who was previously asleep on his father's shoulder is now looking at Thor as if he were a god – and isn't that ironic? The old man has been cheering Thor on since plate five, and the mother of the little boy is looking a little green at the sight of so many pancakes being consumed.
The waitress brings another plate over without being asked. She no longer rolls her eyes, and has informed them that the skeleton kitchen staff has been making pancakes nonstop since the seventh plate. Thor eats them too quickly for them to cook them on demand. They have simply accepted that Thor has a seemingly bottomless stomach, and he will continue to eat until he becomes too tired to lift his fork. Which doesn't seem like it will be happening soon.
"Waitress," Thor says in a normal tone of voice, for she has joined the party surrounding the two Avengers, "It seems that you have run out of strawberry syrup. I shall require more, if it pleases you."
The waitress smirks and goes to get him more syrup. She seems to have perked up a bit since the start of their meal, Steve notices. He thinks she might be getting what Tony calls a 'sugar high' off of the aroma of the pancakes. He wonders if sugar can be inhaled.
When the waitress comes back, Thor covers the pancakes in syrup and looks to the little boy who is holding up his father's watch. The little boy smiles and says, "Ready? Go!"
Thor begins to shovel pancakes into his mouth at lightning speed. The little boy has been timing Thor since plate six, and Thor has been beating his record every time. The little boy watches in wonderment as Thor finishes in a record fifty-two seconds.
"Great job, mister!"
"Why thank you, tiny one. Steven, I cannot believe you did not wish to join in this exciting sport!"
Steve laughs. "Maybe next time."
The waitress comes back with plate ten a moment later.
The little family has gone, but the old man is still there, along with a couple of college aged kids who look like they've just come from a club. They order eggs and sit right next to Steve and Thor, joining in all the fun.
Thor is eating the pancakes without syrup now. They ran out of blueberry and boysenberry on plate thirteen. Strawberry and butter pecan followed on plate fifteen, and maple – good old maple syrup – ran out on plate sixteen. As compensation, the cooks have been giving Thor bacon to wrap in the pancakes. Thor likes this option better.
"Here, Steven, is your protein!" Thor says around a mouth of plate twenty-two. Steve just laughs and sips his sixth cup of coffee. He has nothing else to do.
"Dude," calls a one of the youths from the next table over, "How many pancakes have you eaten?"
Steve answers for him: "Nearly sixty-six."
"Jesus."
"You're telling me."
Thor swallows the last bite of his plate and looks up and waits for plate twenty-three.
And waits.
And waits.
After a minute or two of no pancakes, Thor calls out, "Waitress, I am ready for another plate of the delectable pancakes!"
The waitress comes hurrying out of the kitchen, a little red-faced. "I'm sorry, but you've sort of cleaned us out," she says apologetically.
"I do not understand," says Thor, his brows creasing together, "I have done no such thing. I have not cleaned anything today."
"She means you ate so many pancakes that they have no more batter," says Steve helpfully.
"Man, that's awesome!" says one of the college kids.
"We do, however, have one more pancake left," says the waitress, smiling brightly at Thor.
She waves her hand at the kitchen, and the chefs come out, one of them carrying a plate in his hands and the other carrying a camera. They set plate twenty-three down in front of Thor, who beams in delight. Steve laughs. The pancake may be devoid of syrup and bacon, but it does have what Thor had wanted all along: a whipped cream smiley face with cherry eyes.
The chef with the camera says, "Can we take your picture? You've beaten the IHOP record by seventeen pancakes!"
They all join in: Thor, Steve, the waitress, the old man, and the college kids. They all know they've just witnessed a legend in the making.
It's a year later, and Steve and Thor walk into IHOP for "All You Can Eat" Pancake Day. Their picture from last year is still hanging on the wall, with bright lights surrounding it and a little plaque displaying Thor's name and stats underneath it.
"I'm gonna beat you this year, Thor," says Steve, grinning.
"I believe you are spreading falsities, Steven."
The waitress leads them to their usual booth. The restaurant is jam-packed; everyone has heard of Thor by now, and they all want to see him in action. The waitress smiles at them when they sit down and doesn't bother to hand them menus. "We've been preparing for you."
She proceeds to tell them that they hired two more chefs and have an entire pantry filled with enough syrup and pancake batter to feed a small country.
Steve and Thor are touched.
I couldn't get this plot bunny out of my head! Reviews are awesome!