It was a snap, a break. After finally getting her own apartment Emma returned to stay with her family for the weekend. It was great; everything was great. They laughed over family dinners. Emma loved having people bustling around, and she especially loved spending time with her baby brother. She had so much fun with baby Neal that she volunteered to babysit while Snow went and got groceries and Charming took Henry sword fighting. Things were completely fine for about an hour.
Snow came home after leaving her children alone for about an hour and a half and heard crying. Loud crying. And there were no soft cooing sounds coming from her daughter to try to soothe the crying. Snow got worried. She investigates the sound of the crying and finds Neal fussing in his crib, but Emma is nowhere in sight. In the ensuite across the room she heard water running. Surely Emma wouldn't leave her brother crying to continue her shower.
Picking up and bouncing Neal soothes him back to a light slumber, so Snow goes to investigate what happened to Emma. What she finds is not pretty. Emma is sitting in the bathtub wearing her tank top and underwear, drenched in water running from the shower head. Her hands are shaking, and there is blood all over the tiles of the bathroom. Emma's left fist is clenched tightly, and she's muttering to herself. Snow picks up only a few words 'worthless… want you… pathetic.'
Snow's face wells up with tears, and she backs out of the bathroom quickly, shutting the door behind her. She couldn't stand looking at her little girl so broken. Beautiful, savior Emma, so strong and so smart. Bleeding and broken in her guest bathroom. She reaches for the phone without even thinking. "David, come home quickly. Something's wrong with Emma." David explains that he'll bring Henry to Regina's and be right over.
It's five minutes later, and Snow is still staring at the shut door, devastated that she doesn't know how to help her daughter. It's then that she hears a louder voice. This is not the same voice that Emma was using to mutter to herself; Snow opens the door and sees that there's someone else in the bath tub with Emma. Regina is kneeling before Emma in a dark grey dress and in the most caring but compelling tone she's repeating, "I'm here. I love you. I want you. You're everything."
Regina keeps saying these words until Emma focuses on her and reaches out to touch the brunette's face. "Regina?" The blonde asks in such a hoarse tone. She sounds so scared and unsure, and it breaks Snow's heart even more.
Regina grabs the hand Emma has on her face and presses it there. To remind Emma that she's here, that someone's right here for her. "Yes, Emma, sweetheart," Regina says soothingly, and she gives the blonde a gentle smile. "I'm here, love."
Emma shakes her head, shaking the water out of her eyes. She examines her situation and looks down at her arms in shame. There's blood everywhere, and Emma can feel the tip of the razor blade grind into the palm of her fisted hand. "What have I done?" Emma asks in a voice that's so scornful that it hurts for Snow to hear. How can her perfect and wonderful think so poorly of herself that she'd… do what she did to herself. What had she done?
Regina wipes away the wet curls from the blonde's face and hums softly. "You hurt yourself," she answers almost so quietly that Snow can't hear it. Charming races into the bedroom and trips on his way to the bathroom causing a ruckus of noise. The women in the bathtub ignore him. Snow shushes him and points at Regina. The former queen continues talking with the blonde in the bathtub. "May I see what's in your hand, dear?"
Emma chokes back a sob, and Charming nearly pounces on Regina for making his baby girl make that sound, but Snow restrains him. He hadn't seen Emma before; Regina was helping. The blonde shakily holds out her fisted hand. Regina tenderly holds onto it and gently pries open the blonde's fingers. Regina holds up the razor blade directly in front of Emma and nods. "Okay," she says softly and kissing the blonde's hand.
Emma pulls her hand away and looks at her arm. "I don't deserve you," she says, her voice somehow weaker with all this, "Why do you put up with me?"
"I don't put up with you, Emma. I want to be here. I want to take care of you. I want you in my life. I want you." Every single one of these statements was said with the emphasis on the 'want.' Regina runs her hands through Emma's hair again before looking at the blonde's arm. She rubs her hand along the fresh cuts and hums softly. "May I?" Regina asks.
Emma nods her head and waits for Regina to work her magic on the blonde's arm. The cuts were of various depths and widths, and Emma knew that the thinner ones were done first. The deeper ones were done when she felt worse. She wanted to do it again right now; she hated disappointing Regina. "I want to do it again," Emma mumbles, "I want to hurt myself for hurting you." Regina doesn't even flinch from her work with Emma's arm, and the blonde thinks that maybe she'd pushed too far.
Regina finally looks up from her work, having finished healing Emma's wounds. "No you don't," Regina says, looking directly at Emma, and it's the first time in their encounter that she uses a forceful voice. "Never hurt anyone in retaliation for the pain they've caused, because you'll almost always get it wrong. I got it wrong with Snow. You got it wrong right now. You didn't hurt me. You hurt you. You fell apart, and I put you back together. If you don't want to hurt me then don't fall apart so easily."
Snow's eyes welled with tears when she heard this exchange. This had happened before. "How do I do that?" Emma choked out, salty tears spilling over the water droplets already showering her face. "How do I stop breaking?"
"Tell someone," Regina commands in an authoritative tone that is also soft like velvet. "Emma, believe it or not you aren't alone anymore. Plenty of people love you. I love you. We will stop whatever we are doing to take care of you." Emma sniffles, and Regina rubs the tears from her face. "You aren't perfect, and you're allowed to be sad… but you are wanted, and you are loved. God, you are so loved." Regina says the last part breathlessly and gives Emma a sincere smile.
Emma launches herself into Regina's arms and sobs into her chest. Rubbing soothing circles into her back, Regina finally turns to glare at Emma's mother. Her look says it all. You saw her like this and didn't do anything. Snow begins to cry silently because it's true. She saw her daughter in danger and didn't even try to help her. She didn't tell her daughter she loved her. She didn't tell her daughter she was wanted. She didn't tend to her daughter's wounds. She was a horrible mother.
When Emma's breathing steadies Regina picks up the blonde, wraps her in a towel, and moves to carry her to the bedroom. Snow immediately follows the pair out while Charming goes to clean up the bathroom and turn off the water. Snow watches the brunette lay Emma on the bed and stroke her fingers through long blonde hair lovingly. "Regina?" Snow inquires. Regina looks up her dark glare still boring into her. "How did you know what to do… the first time?"
Regina looks down at the Savior and briefly lets her mind go back through all the times she'd found Emma in the midst of a panic attack, remembering each reason for each break down. 'They want another baby. You're pitying me. I don't belong here. Why do you put up with me?' Regina bites her lip before rubbing circles on the girl's arm. "Listen to her. Whatever she says, assure her that the opposite is true. She is always and will always be wrong when she gets like this. She thinks no one loves her. She thinks she doesn't belong with her family, and she is dead wrong." Regina looks darkly at Snow then looks to Charming when he exits the bathroom with a dirty towel. "You're her family. Make her feel wanted and loved. Make her feel like she belongs unless you believe she doesn't."
"No." Snow interrupts with a forceful tone. "I love Emma. She is my daughter, and I love her very much. I couldn't raise her; I couldn't take care of her when she was a child. I treasure every moment with Emma, and I only want her to be in my life. I want her to be happy, and I want to see her happy." Snow finishes with a huff, staring at Regina breathlessly. She stares at the queen as if to enforce the idea behind her words.
Regina matches Snow's determined gaze. "Tell her that. When she gets like this, whenever you can. She forgets sometimes. Remind her." Snow nods and goes to lie on the other side of the bed with her daughter. The two women sandwich the blonde who is snoring lightly. Regina presses their foreheads together and whispers sweet nothings into Emma's ears. Snow simply wraps her arms gently around her daughter's waist. She wanted to be there when Emma woke even if Regina were still there. Charming holds Neal and watches on in silence, grateful that Regina was able to save their daughter.