A Little Piece of Myself
It was shaping up to be a normal, run of the mill recon mission for SG-1. The planet they were visiting was designated P7G-554 and they had been assigned to recon and mineral survey the planet as a possible site for a mining operation. This was the end of the final day of their mission and the team was settling down around their campfire for the night.
"We finally get to go back to Earth in the morning. I can't wait to get some downtime," Sam said as she stretched out on her bedroll and looked up at the stars in the night sky.
"Yep. It'll be good to get back," Jack agreed as he set out his own bedding.
"I have an idea. Why don't we talk about our most memorable missions that we've been on? I think Jonas has been with us long enough to be able to get in on this one," Sam suggested.
"That's a pretty good idea, Carter. Why don't you go first?"
"Okay. I think my favorite mission was the one where Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c, and Daniel all played musical bodies when we gated to Machello's lab. The situation was quite serious at the time but looking back now it was pretty funny. I mean, Teal'c wanted to shave your head and I had to bite my lip every time I heard your voice speaking with his mannerisms."
"Okay," Jack said looking at the group around him and noting that neither Teal'c nor Jonas seemed to have an answer. "I guess I'll go next. My most memorable mission was the time that I had to detonate that bomb right into the gate to disconnect it from that black hole planet and when we'd been through five minutes the surface world had lived seven hours. That's the one that most sticks out in my mind right at the moment."
"I have my answer, O'Neill. My most enjoyed mission of my time with SG-1 was the experience during which yourself, Major Carter and Daniel Jackson partook in the Tok'ra armband experiment. The antics that ensued were indeed amusing. It was especially amusing when O'Neill was able to defeat me in a sparring match and when the three of you were accused of instigating a bar fight in O'Malley's," Teal'c said, raising his eyebrow in amusement.
"Very funny. It's your turn now, Jonas. What's your most memorable mission experience during your time with SG-1 so far?" Sam asked, turning her attention to their newest team member.
"Well, I've enjoyed everything up to this point but if I had to pinpoint a specific one as my favorite, I'd have to say it was my first mission as a member of the team. The experience of my first time in space specifically sticks out to me. It was like a dream for me to actually see outer space and it seemed surreal for me so it's something I'll always remember," Jonas said thoughtfully as he looked into the fire.
"Okay, team. I suggest that we all turn in for the night. We have a long trek back to the gate in the morning and we all need to be rested," Jack pointed out, resting on his bedding and throwing a blanket over himself.
"That's a good idea, sir. It's been a long, hard day. It would do us all well to get some rest before we head back for the gate in the morning," Sam agreed.
"I will stand watch, O'Neill," Teal'c offered as Jack raised a tired hand to him in acknowledgement. The Jaffa warrior took up his sentry position as the other three settled down for the night.
- - - - -
A few hours after Jonas had drifted into a troubled sleep, he began dreaming and, as he did, he found himself trapped in a horribly vivid nightmare that had frequented his rest during the past several months. He was dreaming of the circumstances that had brought him to Earth, and in doing so, he endured reliving every horrifying moment of that fateful day.
In his dream, Jonas was back on his home planet of Kelowna, watching the Naquadria experiment with Daniel. As they stood at the window, looking down on the scientists working in the lab below, Daniel made the argument that building a bomb was not going to solve the nation's problems.
Before Jonas had a chance to counter the argument, the unthinkable happened. The reactor used in the experiment went critical, blasting radiation through the room. Daniel, thinking on his feet, raised his gun and shot several holes into the glass.
"Dr. Jackson! No!" Jonas cried but it was too late. Daniel threw himself through the glass and disarmed the device, saving Kelowna but exposing himself to lethal radiation in the process.
- - - - -
The next image that flashed through Jonas's subconscious was him standing in the observation room in the SGC looking down on the scene unfolding below him, praying for a miracle that would never come as he watched as Daniel took his last breath and Kelowna's hero was lost in a blinding flash of light.
- - - - -
Jonas woke abruptly from his nightmare and sat up, taking in several deep breaths to calm himself as he raked a shaking hand through his short hair.
Why do I have to keep seeing that over and over every time I close my eyes? Jonas thought as he looked at the three people surrounding him. What am I doing, thinking that I belong here. I need some space to think. I've got to get out of here.
Jonas threw his blanket aside and stood up, his still raw emotions besting him, walking away from the camp to clear his head and heading into the trees, not caring when he heard Teal'c shift to gaze after him.
As he was walking blindly through the woods, lost deep in his thoughts, Jonas didn't see the raised tree root in his path. Before he could avoid the obstacle, his foot was caught under it, his ankle twisting painfully as he fell, rolling forward once his foot was free.
"Ow! Damn tree! I can't stop now, though." Jonas said to himself as he climbed to his feet and walked on, limping and wincing with pain at each step.
When he finally reached the river they had seen earlier that day, he found a large log and sat down with his injured foot stretched out in front of him, unable to keep walking any further, staring absently out over the water.
- - - - -
Back at camp, Jack awoke to start his watch, sitting up to stretch before rolling to his feet and walking over to join Teal'c by the fire.
"Everything been quiet, Teal'c?"
"Indeed it has not. Approximately fifteen minutes ago, Jonas Quinn awoke and walked into the woods. I am most concerned that he has not yet returned." Teal'c replied, glancing away from the dancing flames to look at Jack.
"What? Why did he leave?" Jack asked, his frustration surfacing mixed with a little concern which he didn't reveal to his teammate.
"I am unsure. Jonas Quinn said nothing when he left. He also did not take his radio."
"Teal'c, do you mind standing watch a little longer? I'm gonna go look for Jonas."
"I do not. We must locate Jonas Quinn," Teal'c agreed quietly.
"Right. I'll stay in radio contact and I'll try not to be long," Jack said as he left Teal'c and headed into the woods in search of their missing team member. He was annoyed at the inconvenience of having to chase down the young alien in the middle of the night. "I'm so gonna kick his ass for leaving camp without so much as a word to anyone and for leaving his radio behind! What the hell is he thinking?"
- - - - -
After forty-five minutes of wandering through the woods in the dark, Jack came to the river and noticed their wayward team member. He came out of the shadows and approached Jonas boldly.
"Jonas, what the hell are you doing out here in the middle of the night?" Jack growled.
"I'm sorry, Colonel. I just needed to take a walk."
"Couldn't you have at least thought to tell Teal'c that you were leaving so that we would have known what the hell was going on? Why did you leave camp anyway?"
"Well, Colonel, I had a nightmare and I didn't, or rather I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up and went for a walk. The reason I didn't tell anyone where I was going was because I really needed to be alone for a while. I couldn't think clearly, my head was full of all these images. I just needed to get my head together. Besides, I didn't plan to be gone that long, and I didn't think you'd notice," Jonas said, keeping his eyes cast out on the water. Quietly to himself he added, "Not that you'd care."
"Err.. ah.. what? What the hell are you talking about? Of course we'd care! You're a member of the team. Where the hell is this coming from, Jonas? I don't understand." Jack said, clearly confused and cursing himself for his earlier anger toward the other man.
"Because I'm responsible for the death of one of your own. I'm responsible for the death of Dr. Jackson. I'm a coward and in that, I caused the death of another person. That's what I had a nightmare about. I relive that day over and over again. You'd think I'd be used to it by now."
"Used to what?"
"The nightmare. Ever since I came to Earth. It seems to find me every time I close my eyes. Like when I let my guard down, everything comes back in force. I don't think I've slept properly since I've been with SG-1," Jonas replied quietly.
Jack's eyes softened as he remembered his own experience with a guilty conscience. "Ah, for crying out loud, Jonas. I'm really sorry. We've all been so caught up in our own grief these past few months since we lost Daniel that it never occurred to me that you were struggling. All those times I found you working in your lab in the middle of the night – you tried to talk to me about what was bothering you and I blew you off. I never should have reacted that way toward you. You deserve better. You're a good man, Jonas."
"I can't see it that way. From my perspective, I was responsible for Dr. Jackson's death; something that could have been avoided if only I had made some sort of move instead of just standing there like some idiot."
"Jonas, that's not true." Okay, I never normally do this but I happen to believe that desperate times call for desperate measures. "I'm going to tell you something from my past that not very many people know. Daniel was one of the few people who did. Before I joined the Stargate program, I wasn't always the cynical person I am now. I had a family. A wife and a son named Charlie. I made a critical mistake myself back then and it cost me my son," Jack began, stopping a moment to collect his wandering thoughts.
"What happened?" Jonas asked, confused as to why his superior was telling him this.
"I used to own a gun to protect my family. One day, I left my gun lying out instead of locking it up in the closet like I usually did. That day I'd been cleaning it, and Charlie wasn't due home for an hour, so I didn't put it away. I didn't know he'd come home early from baseball practice. My wife and I were outside on the porch when we heard a gunshot from inside the house. We went in there and found Charlie lying on the floor in our bedroom. He had found my gun and, in playing with it, accidentally shot himself in the head. We immediately took him to the hospital but by the time we got him there it was too late. There was nothing the doctors could do and Charlie died. That day, I shut myself off emotionally and wouldn't let anyone in. Not even my own wife. When I went on that first Stargate mission to Abydos, I didn't intend on coming back to Earth. We were supposed to set the nuke off and destroy Ra's ship, so I was planning to blow myself up with it after I got the rest of the team through the gate. But Daniel refused to leave if I was staying behind and he convinced me that my life was too important to give up on. So I came back to Earth with a new lease on life but I couldn't save my marriage. Basically, what I'm trying to say, Jonas, is that you shouldn't let your emotions on this situation control your life because you will come to regret it. I know that from personal experience," Jack said, shifting slightly where he sat on the log next to Jonas.
"I understand what you're trying to say, Colonel, and I really appreciate it. I guess I can try to put the past behind me. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Now let's get back to camp before Teal'c gets too worried."
"Okay. Let me see if I can put weight on my ankle yet. I twisted it when I fell walking through the woods. It was hurting me earlier," Jonas said as he attempted to stand up and was seized with a sharp pain from his injured ankle and he sat back down, gasping in pain. "I guess not. Now what?"
"Now, I'll support you and you can lean on me. That way I can help you get back to camp. Then we can get Teal'c to take you to the Stargate while Carter and I carry the supplies."
"I guess that'll work." Jonas said, shaking more than he should in the cool morning breeze.
"Right then, so you ready to head back?" Jack noticed Jonas shaking slightly and realized that he wasn't wearing a jacket and there was an obvious chill in the air. Jack looked down at Jonas. "Hey, you okay?"
"Yes, sir. However I am a little cold and it's not helping my ankle. I just want to get back." Jonas whispered through chattering teeth. Jack could see that Jonas's shaking was getting worse so he took his jacket off and handed it to his teammate.
"Here, put this on." Jack said as he helped Jonas put on the coat. Realizing that they needed to get back to camp soon, he carefully assisted the young man to his feet.
"All right. Let's get back to camp." Jack said as he supported Jonas with one arm while they slowly made their way back toward the campsite. As they walked, Jack radioed ahead to Teal'c. "Teal'c, come in."
"Proceed, O'Neill."
"I found Jonas but he's injured. He tripped on something in the woods and hurt his ankle. I'm not sure how bad it is but I need you and Carter to get our things packed up and be ready to ship out for the gate as soon as we get there. I'm supporting Jonas's weight so that he can make it back to the camp, but you and I are gonna have to help him to the gate. I'll feel better once we get him back to SGC and Fraiser can take a look at him."
"Understood, O'Neill." Teal'c acknowledged as he alerted Sam to the situation and the two of them began disassembling the tents and packing up the campsite while they waited for Jack and Jonas to join them.
As they neared the campsite, Jonas's shaking only got worse. He was getting very pale. Jack noticed that the young man was leaning more heavily on him. They were approaching camp when Jonas's one good leg finally gave out and collapsed.
"Teal'c! Come give me a hand here! Jonas just passed out! We're only about 250 meters from your current location!" Jack screamed into his radio, supporting Jonas's semi conscious form against him.
It didn't take long for Teal'c and Sam to make their location. Once Sam reached them she took Jonas's pulse and placed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature. She looked up at the other two with fear in her eyes.
"Carter?" Jack asked, not entirely sure that he wanted to hear what she might say.
"Jonas is going into shock from his injury, sir. This is really bad. We need to get back to the SGC as soon as possible," Sam said, rushing ahead to gather two of the packs of camp supplies. Jack took the remaining two and Teal'c carried Jonas in his arms, being careful to support his injured leg.
- - - - -
Back at the SGC four hours later, the gate alarms began sounding to signal an incoming wormhole. Upon hearing this sound, General Hammond left his office and walked down to the control room.
"Do we have an IDC, Sergeant?"
"Yes, sir." Sergeant Harriman replied, glancing momentarily from the monitor in front of him. "It's SG-1, sir. They're two hours overdue and they're requesting a medical team." Hammond reached for the phone on the wall beside him. "Medical team to the gate room." He replaced the phone and leaned his head momentarily against the wall. "What the hell have they gotten themselves into now?"
As Hammond entered the gate room, the iris swirled open and Jack and Sam stepped through, followed closely by Teal'c who was carrying Jonas. Hammond was concerned when he noticed that the young man was looking very pale.
"What happened, Colonel?" Hammond asked Jack as Janet Fraiser and her medical team entered and took Jonas to the infirmary.
"I'm not entirely sure, sir. When I woke up for my watch early this morning, Teal'c told me that he'd seen Jonas walking off into the trees some 15 minutes earlier and he didn't have his radio with him. When he didn't return, I decided to go after him and I caught up with him by a river about two clicks from where we had set up camp. He and I were talking about some things and when we tried to head back, he told me that he had fallen and twisted his ankle. I helped him up and supported most of his weight so we could make it back to camp. I had Teal'c and Carter pack up and they were waiting for us when we got there. Before we were able to make it to camp, Jonas collapsed. Carter said he was going into shock so we gathered the packs and hightailed it out of there. Teal'c had to carry Jonas to the gate so that's why we were overdue," Jack explained, haste apparent in his eyes.
"Okay. That's enough information for now. Dismissed. We'll debrief after you've all had a chance to check on Jonas." Hammond shook his head.
"Yes sir." Jack mumbled and rushed from the room, Sam and Teal'c hot on his heels.
- - - - -
When SG-1 arrived in the infirmary, they found Janet in surgical scrubs, issuing orders to several nurses around her. Noticing the three standing in the doorway, she stopped momentarily and crossed the room to them.
"What the hell is going on?" Jack roared, anger boiling up inside him like lava from a volcano.
"Jonas did injure his ankle but he didn't twist it like he thought. His ankle is broken. I've called in one of the best orthopedic surgeons in the area to operate and place a pin in it so it can heal properly. I'm obviously going to be there to assist. We're prepping him for surgery now." Janet said, putting forth a calm front that she didn't really feel.
"Can we see him?" Sam asked.
"Not now. I've already given Jonas a pre-op sedative and he's also had a pain killer so he's really drowsy. We're getting ready to take him into the OR so you're going to have to wait until he comes out of surgery. I'm sorry. I promise I'll let you know how things are going and as soon as you can see him."
Jack looked over Janet's shoulder to where Jonas was lying on the bed. He was pale but at least he no longer appeared to be in pain. The young man was very still and he looked to be almost asleep. It was in that moment that the anger Jack had been holding in reached the breaking point and he turned sharply and stormed out of the room.
"Sam, Teal'c, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you both to step out for a while so we can take him into surgery. I'll call for you as soon as we're finished," Janet said quietly, heading back over to her staff to finish preparing for the surgery. With nothing else to do, Sam and Teal'c left the infirmary quietly, thoughts of Jonas weighing heavily on their minds.
- - - - -
After Jack had stormed out of the infirmary like an untamed lion, Sam and Teal'c stood in the corridor trying to figure out what their next move should be. They were obviously torn between waiting for news on Jonas and going after Jack.
"What do we do now, Teal'c? It's obvious that someone needs to stay here in case there's news on Jonas but one of us needs to go after Colonel O'Neill."
"I will go and speak with O'Neill and attempt to convince him to return with me." Teal'c said quietly.
"Okay. I'll wait here in case Janet has any more news on Jonas. I'll come find you if I hear anything." Sam agreed, emotions running rampant as she watched Teal'c head down the corridor in search of Jack.
- - - - -
It took Teal'c five minutes to locate Jack in the gym. As the Jaffa entered the large room, he spied his friend in the corner, repeatedly pummeling a defenseless punching bag. Undeterred, Teal'c walked casually over to Jack and held the heavy bag in place.
"Thanks, Teal'c," Jack said breathlessly as he continued to punch, glad that he no longer had to dodge a moving target.
"You are welcome."
"So, is there something you wanted?"
"Indeed there is, O'Neill. I became concerned when you left the infirmary in such a hostile manner when Dr. Fraiser informed us that Jonas Quinn required surgery for his broken ankle. Is there anything that you wish to discuss?" Teal'c asked, ever calm in impossible situations.
"This is so damn wrong, Teal'c! If anyone deserved to have gotten hurt and be in that operating room right now, it's me! I have been such a bastard to Jonas ever since he came here because I was so self absorbed in what happened to Daniel! I was so self-centered, looking for someone to blame, that I didn't realize that this wasn't Jonas's fault. Even if it was, the way I've been acting is violating Daniel's memory because he wouldn't have wanted me blaming him!" Jack shouted and punched the bag harder as Teal'c stood before him stoically, silently giving him an outlet for his anger.
"You have done nothing wrong, O'Neill. From my observation of Tauri behavior, people react in different ways to these types of situations. You have no reason to feel guilty. I do not believe Jonas Quinn holds you responsible for your actions, as he appears to have a similar personality to that of Daniel Jackson."
"You really think that?"
"Indeed."
"I wonder why I didn't think of it like that. That's a good point, Teal'c," Jack said as he suddenly stopped his assault of the punching bag. "Hey, let's get back up to the infirmary and see if there's anything new on Jonas."
"That is an advisable idea, O'Neill." Teal'c agreed as he released the punching bag and followed Jack from the gym and they headed for the infirmary.
- - - - -
Sam looked up to see Jack and Teal'c approaching from her left. At the same time, Janet came up from in front of her and approached as well.
"How's he doing, Janet?" Sam asked.
"Jonas is going to be okay. We were able to pin his ankle and he's going to need some therapy to learn to deal with it but in a few weeks he should be ready for active duty again. Right now we have him in recovery. He's still unconscious from the anesthesia and we're giving him pain medication so he'll probably sleep for a while. We'll move him to a bed in a few minutes and you can sit with him." Janet smiled.
"Good work, Doc." Jack said, patting Janet on the shoulder with relief in his eyes.
"Thank you, Colonel."
For ten minutes, Jack, Sam and Teal'c sat outside the infirmary thinking and talking about their injured friend, anxious to see for themselves that he was okay. It wasn't long before Janet came out and approached them again.
"You can go sit with Jonas now. He did start to wake up a little but he's still really drowsy. If he's awake, talk to him by all means and try to reassure him, but if he's drifted back to sleep, I ask that you please try your best not to wake him."
"As you wish, Dr. Fraiser." Teal'c answered for the group and then hastened into the infirmary himself, right on the heels of his two teammates.
- - - - -
As the three worried members of SG-1 walked into the infirmary, they quietly approached the bed where Jonas lay to avoid disturbing him if he had fallen asleep. As they came close, however, Jonas turned his head and looked at them.
"Hey, guys."
"How are you feeling, Jonas," Sam asked as she rested a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm a little uncomfortable but the pain's not as bad as it was when I fell back on the planet so, in retrospect, I guess I'm okay."
"Doc told us that you're gonna need some therapy but you should be ready to start hopping planets with us again in a few weeks," Jack said reassuringly, taking note of the weary look on Jonas's face and the young man seemed to be struggling to keep his eyes open.
"I am pleased to see you are doing better, Jonas Quinn. We were all extremely concerned, especially O'Neill," Teal'c stated quietly, nodding his head as Jack gave him a look. Jonas rewarded this comment with a yawn and a sleepy smile.
"Get some rest, Jonas. It's okay. We'll be right here. No one's going anywhere. You're barely awake right now as it is. Don't try to fight it for our benefit. Just close your eyes and go to sleep," Sam whispered, taking Jonas's hand and feeling him grip hers in return.
"Carter's right, Jonas. You've just had surgery so you need all the rest you can get. Why don't you catch a little nap? You won't be alone."
With the reassurances of his friends, Jonas didn't have the strength to fight any longer against the drowsiness that was claiming him so he allowed his heavy eyes to finally close and his grip on Sam's hand went slack as he relaxed into the deep, healing sleep that he needed.
- - - - -
It was well into the next morning when Jonas finally opened his eyes again. He blinked sleepily, slowly remembering fuzzy memories of where he was. The first thing he was clearly aware of was the presence of someone at his bedside. He turned his head to his right to see Sam sitting there. She smiled and moved closer when she noticed that Jonas was awake.
"Hey. Welcome back."
"Hey, Sam. Have you guys been here the entire time?" Jonas asked, slowly becoming more aware.
"Yeah," Sam smiled, touching Jonas's arm lightly as she watched him look around the infirmary where he was resting. He happened to catch sight of a person hunched in a chair on the other side of the bed, apparently sleeping.
"Sam?" Jonas looked back at Sam in confusion. "Is that Colonel O'Neill?"
"You got it. He's been here all night with you. Teal'c and I tried to convince him to leave with us last night after you fell asleep so he could at least get something to eat but he refused. He said that it was his fault that you got hurt in the first place and he was 'for damn sure not going to leave you in the infirmary alone'. I came back about 0400 this morning and found him sleeping there in the chair."
"Oh, uh. I don't understand how the Colonel thinks that my falling and breaking my ankle is his fault. I'm the one who made the bad decision to leave camp and walk off through the woods in the middle of the night when it was too dark to see properly. He didn't force me to do that," Jonas said, obviously shocked by Jack's confession to Sam.
Before Sam could respond, they heard a loud groan as Jack woke up. He looked around blearily and upon seeing Jonas awake, he straightened up and smiled.
"Good morning. Glad to see you've come around, Jonas. Are you doing okay?" Jack asked, rubbing his eyes to clear his sleep-fogged vision.
"I'm doing a lot better. A lot better than I was last night. Sorry about falling asleep on you guys," Jonas said, slightly embarrassed at having dozed off in the company of his friends.
"No problem. You'd had a hard day and the rest seemed to have done you good. Besides, it's not exactly like you had a choice."
"I heard that, Colonel. You'd be wise to watch your words," Janet teased as Jack faked a cringe and rolled his eyes playfully at her. "Good morning, Jonas. How do you feel about getting out of here today?"
"That would be great," Jonas agreed, enthusiastic about the idea of getting out of the infirmary.
"There is one condition. Since you're obviously going to have to use crutches, I don't want you staying on base because there are too many obstacles and stairs around to pose a risk."
"No problem there, Doc. I'll take Jonas to my place and he can stay with me until he's back on his feet," Jack interrupted, seemingly reading Janet's thoughts.
"That actually sounds like a good idea. Jonas is going to need a little bit of help getting around while he gets the hang of using crutches to walk. I'd actually feel better knowing he was staying with you during his recovery because you'll keep a close eye on him and make sure he doesn't aggravate his injury." Janet said, nodding in approval.
"Well, it's settled then. Jonas, you're gonna be my houseguest for the next couple of weeks. I'll hang around while Janet gets you ready to be released and then I'll take you back to my place so you can get settled."
"Thank you, Colonel. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you being willing to allow me to be a guest in your home. It means a lot to me and I hope I won't be an inconvenience or a hinder to you." Jonas smiled gratefully, swallowing hard to clear the lump forming in his throat.
Thirty minutes later, Jonas had been released from the infirmary and had made it to the parking lot to Jack's truck, with a bit of help and they made the twenty minute drive to the Colonel's house in relative quiet, each reveling in their own thoughts.
By the time they reached Jack's house, Jonas had drifted into a light sleep from the gentle rocking motion of the truck and Jack was deep in thought accompanied by the music playing on the radio. In fact, he was thinking so intently that he didn't even realize he had been driving on autopilot until he pulled the truck into his driveway with no memory at all of having gotten there. He glanced over to the passenger side where Jonas had his head resting lightly against the window and reached out to gently shake his shoulder.
"Hey, Jonas. We're here. Wake up and let's go inside."
At the gentle prodding and soft words, Jonas opened his sleepy green eyes and blinked several times, taking in his surroundings. "Oh. Sorry. I guess I must have dozed off. Janet gave me something for pain before we left and the swaying of the truck was very soothing. Those factors together probably put me to sleep. Sorry I wasn't much company."
"Ah, don't worry about it. I pretty much drove here on memory alone. I really wasn't paying that much attention. Honestly I didn't even realize we were here until I pulled into the driveway. Besides, after all you've been through, you're understandably exhausted. Everything that went on this morning probably tired you out. Let's go in so you can get settled. Then you can get some rest." Jack said, a caring tone to his voice.
"That'd be good. I don't understand why I'm so tired. It's like the harder I try to stay awake and not sleep all the time, the harder my body fights against me. It's beginning to get annoying." Jonas groaned running a hand through his hair.
"After you have surgery, that's what happens. You feel so tired and sleep a lot because your body needs rest to heal you from the operation. It'll get better in a few days. I'll get your things for you and you can settle yourself on the couch while I fix us something to eat. After all, that infirmary slop is awful. I'm gonna hook you up with some real food."
"Actually, that sounds really good. I wasn't all that hungry when I woke up this morning so I could use some food."
When the two got inside the house, Jack helped Jonas get settled in on the couch before heading into the kitchen to make some tacos for them to have for supper. By the time Jack had gotten the meat simmering and went to sit down for a few minutes while he waited, he walked into the living room and noticed that Jonas had nodded off on the couch, sleeping comfortably.
"I guess he was more tired than he was hungry. Oh well. The food won't be ready for a while. A nap will do good for him." Jack thought as he unfolded the blanket lying across the back of the couch and spread it over Jonas. He then sat down in his favorite chair, turning on the television quietly.
- - - - -
About an hour later, Jonas awoke slowly and after taking a moment to reorient himself with his surroundings, stood up and, grabbing his crutches, made his way into the kitchen as Jack was finishing dinner. When Jack hear Jonas approaching, he looked up from setting the table to greet the younger man.
"Hey, sleepyhead. Your timing is perfect. I was just about to come and wake you. Dinner's ready. I made us some tacos."
"Sounds great. Now that I've had a nap, I'm absolutely starving. This looks delicious." Jonas smiled sleepily as he hobbled over to the table and sank into one of the kitchen chairs.
"I do have a few talents outside the SGC that only a few people know about. Now you're one of those privileged few. Now let's eat before the food gets cold." Jack said as he and Jonas ate a large dinner of tacos. It was then that Jack realized how nice this bonding time was and how much he had missed out on by shutting Jonas out for such a long time.
- - - - -
After they had finished eating and Jack had cleaned up the dishes, the two men settled down in the living room and flipped through the channels on cable television. Once they had decided on a show, Jack and Jonas sat talking while they watched TV.
"I know I've said this before but I really appreciate you inviting me to be a guest in your home while I recover. You have a very nice home and it means a lot to me that you have done so much in just these past several hours to make me feel comfortable here. I know you've had your doubts about me and that makes this all the more important."
"I owe you an apology, Jonas. I've been such a bastard to you these past few months. I've been so wrapped up in my own bitter grief over Daniel's death that I didn't realize that you were trying to fit in with us. You're a good man, Jonas, and you're doing a great job with SG-1. You deserve better. I know the reason that you wandered away from camp is because of that. That's why I feel responsible for you having been hurt." Jack admitted.
"Yeah, Sam mentioned that. That's not true though. The reason I left camp that night was because of this nightmare that I keep having. I keep seeing the day that Dr. Jackson was killed. It had nothing to do with you at all." Jonas said, smiling softly.
"Well, that's good to know. But still the way I've been blowing you off recently stops right now. I want to get to know you better than I've let myself. I'm really hoping that you and I can be friends."
"That actually sounds nice, sir. I'd like to get to know you better too. I've felt odd for awhile because I don't know you as well as I do Sam and Teal'c."
"Okay. Then we agree. First things first, though. Cut the 'sir' business. Call me Jack. That's what Daniel always used to call me. It'd make me feel a lot better."
"Sure. I think I can do that. I appreciate you taking me into your home, Jack. I really do hope that you and I can become friends."
"Of course. What are friends for? Now, what do you say we go in the living room and watch a movie. I'll clean this mess up in the morning. After the past couple of days I think we both need to take it easy."
"I can go for that. But I think I will take one of the pills Janet gave me for pain before I settle in because my ankle is really starting to bother me. That way I can relax and enjoy a movie without being in pain."
"Fine with me. Whatever you need to do to be comfortable. I know how hard it is to be able to unwind when you're hurting. I'll go on and get the movie started and you can meet me in the living room." Jack smiled as he left Jonas to his privacy and headed to the living room.
A few minutes later, Jonas came to rejoin Jack and had settled himself on the couch again. Jack had flopped into his favorite recliner and kicked his feet up once the movie had started. The two then allowed themselves to fully unwind. It was in that moment that Jonas realized that this was the first time that he had been able to completely relax in Jack's presence without the underlying tension that had been there previously.
The film they were watching had barely run halfway through when Jack turned his attention from the screen to see how Jonas was holding up. He was glad to see that his friend was finally able to relax and that he had nodded off on the couch. Settling back in the recliner, Jack began to feel extremely relaxed as well. Before he followed Jonas's lead and fell asleep himself, Jack allowed himself one final thought.
"I would have opened up and bonded with Jonas before now if I'd have known it was so simple. Hell, I didn't have to do much. All it took was for me to offer him a little piece of myself."