I think I am like, literally in love with Regulus. XD

Old Flames That Still Flicker

Pressing his pale forehead against the cool glass, Regulus lets out a sigh. The traces of his breath linger visibly on the window, and he puts his finger up to write on the glass. Glancing through the glass at the man he loves, Regulus closes his eyes, his hand shaky.

'I have always loved you, Sirius,' he writes. Shaking his head at his sorrowful reflection in the window, he smudges his words out and drops down to the ground.

He can't bear to watch Sirius run his hands all over him. He can't bear to even look at him. He stole everything from Regulus.

Regulus Black hates Remus Lupin.

Regulus pulls out the letter he'd written earlier and slips it in the crack under the door, and apparates away quickly.

##

Sirius pulls out of his kiss with Remus, when he sees a letter appear beneath the door. He glances at the writing on the envelope.

'Sirius'.

He would recognise that writing anywhere. It's his brother's writing. Sighing, he tells Remus he wants to be alone, and heads into the bedroom with the letter in his hand. He tears the envelope open and begins reading.

'Dear Sirius,

I hate you. No, let me rephrase that. I love you. That's why I hate you.

Do you remember back in the beginning? You know, the time we kissed under the tree near the Quidditch Pitch and we felt all those feelings? Well, more accurately – I felt all those feelings. You just pretended.

We kissed, Sirius. My head started swirling and my heart started beating faster than possible and I started falling in love with you. You told me you were falling in love with me too. You lied.

After a few months, I was head over heels for you. You were all I ever thought about, and all I wanted was to be with you forever, and you told me you felt the same about me.

Then not even a week later I caught you with your hands on him.

You told me, and Sirius, I can still hear those words so clear and cruel in my head. You told me, 'Reg, I'll never love you the way I love him. My love for him is pure, and my lust for you is just me playing on a weird fetish I wish I never had'.

But to me, you were everything.

You broke me that day. It's no excuse, or even close to one, but I felt like I couldn't go on. So what the hell? I walked around like an inferius for five months, doing everything that everyone asked.

I hate you, so yes. I do partly blame you for me joining the Death Eaters. I had nothing else to live for.

But I realised when it was too late, that I'm better than that. I had already joined when I decided I didn't want to be a part of it.

So here we are today, Sirius. Me sitting at home facing my death, and you probably fucking him.

I just want you to know before I die, I forgive you.

Even though you're a bastard, and I was only some 'fetish' to you. I love you.

Goodbye, Sirius.

-Regulus'

A single tear rolls down Sirius's face as he folds the letter up. In that one moment, he wishes he could go back and change things. Regulus had been more than just a 'fetish'. Sirius had just been too cowardly to admit his feelings.

Maybe I'm not a Gryffindor, Sirius thinks solemnly.

But what does it matter? The past is the past, and Sirius has missed his chance. He slowly tears the letter apart and tosses it into the flickering orange flames.

"I love you, Reg," Sirius whispers. And just like Regulus's letter, Sirius burns Regulus from his memory.

~The End~