Dean Winchester felt old.
He was only 15 but he felt at least 50.
Mostly because he had to act anything bur 15.
The day his mother died, when he was 4...he died along with her.
The child he was supposed to be, the man he was meant to be vanishing in flames with his old life.
The funny thing about this is that Sam doesn't understand how lucky he is.
To not remember how you're mother's laugh sounded, to remember you're father soft voice when he read to you goodnight stories.
To remember how peaceful life used to be before all this started.
Now he has a brother of 11 that curses him everyday because he blames Dean for not having the life he wants, a father on a vengeance quest.
He was only 15 and already had a past no child his age should have:
He has been run out of fifty two towns.
He has never paid his taxes.
He has seventeen fake IDs. All bearing a different name.
He knows where almost all of the hospitals in the country are.
He has been in mortal danger for the majority of his life.
He's been beaten, tortured and nearly burned at the stake.
He has had eight broken bones.
Three gunshot wounds.
Four concussions.
He has committed over a hundred acts of arson.
He has failed to save twenty one victim.
He'd been to forty-eight of the fifty states and the only thing stopping him from getting to the last two is the plane trip.
Yeah a everyday life.
Sam might still have a chance, Dean didn't like it at all but he did all he could too keep his younger brother as much as possible out of the Winchester family business. When the hunt got into you're blood there was no escaping.
Dean was the perfect example of that.
He lived...breathed hunting evil.
It's been like that since he was 8, when he killed his first demon on his own. The power of his birthday gift in a form of a gun in his hand when it fired, the adrenalin in his eight year old body during the hunt, the feeling of pride of stopping the demon from creating another Winchester like family.
He was hooked right there and there. John Winchester saw it in his eyes.
Dean Winchester became a soldier in the age of eight, he was a natural at it.
Sam was natural with studying , Dean with hunting.
So maybe Sam would get his normal life, a dream since the day he knew about the 'light' side of the world instead of the darkness.
But Dean would never be able to adapt.
Even if they find they're mother's killer, both his father and brother would be free to move on...
But not Dean.
This was his life.
Now and till the day he dies on a hunt.