I have worked very hard on book one of this series, I wrote it when I was eleven so PLEASE bare with me I swear I improved as the chapters went on. I'd love your feedback, and I really hope you enjoy it! I've actually finished the first book, I've written it all down in notebooks, I just have to type it. I apologize deeply in advance for any mistakes. I've added several OCs to this story as well. The OCs in the chapter are: Orphan(main), Tanoshii(minor), Lettuce(minor). The characters that belong to Masashi Kishimoto respectively are in fact mostly OOC, meaning Out Of Character

Enter: Orphan!

It was yet another day at the Akatsuki Lair and Pein decided to get away from all the madness for a while, so he took a walk.

When Pein decided it was time to go back to the lair, he hadn't noticed that he had a follower. By the time he got back to the lair, the follower was so close, it slipped through the door when Pein went inside.

Now, the Akatsuki lair doesn't look like any normal 'Bad-guy Hideout'. Each member got their own room, they had a nice kitchen and dining room and a superb living room. They also had the most awesome Akatsuki bathroom and an everything proof training realm.

Anyway, when Pein walked in, Kisame was washing the dishes, Itachi was painting his nails, Hidan was putting iodine on his wounds(again), Kakuzu was counting his money(again), Tobi was trying to get Deidara to play Hide-n-Seek with him, Sasori was messing with a puppet, and Zetsu was arguing with himself.

Konan walked over to Pein and handed him a plate with a smiley faced pancake in the middle. "What is-" Pein began. "It was Tobi's turn to choose breakfast. Konan answered. "Right." Pein said, remembering.

Deidara had finally agreed to play Hide-n-Seek with Tobi, so Tobi went off and hid. When Deidara was finished counting, the first place he looked was behind the sofa.

"Uh... Guys, there's a kid behind the sofa. Un" He informed. With that said, the kid crawled out from behind the sofa.

"Hey, she's cute!" Kisame said. The kid giggled. The girl had a little bit past shoulder length white hair, deep turquoise eyes, no shoes, tattered clothing, and dirt stains all over her face.

"Kid, where do you live? I'm taking you back to your parents." Pein said, a little annoyance in his voice.

"I don't have any." The girl said.

"Where do you live, Sweetie?" Konan asked, concerned.

"Hmm-hmm." The girl just smiled and stayed as cheerful as ever.

"So... She's an orphan. Can we keep her?" Kisame asked.

"No." Pein answered.

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"N-"

Konan gave Pein 'The Look'.

"Fine." Pein agreed.

The Akatsuki were now illegal guardians of Orphan(in which they named her).

Let us see how Orphan sees Akatsuki as family:

Pein - Daddy

Deidara - Mommy

Hidan - Uncle

Kakuzu - Grandpa

Konan - Grandma

Kisame - Pet

Itachi - Nii-san(meaning older brother)

Tobi - Little Brother

Zetsu - Not Yet Decided

Sasori - Sasori(big brother also).

When Orphan finished, the Akatsuki finally noticed the doll she was holding. It was a NARUTO plush doll!

A week passed and the Akatsuki were getting used to having Orphan around.

Orphan had moved into Tobi's bedroom and Deidara never had to play with them, unless it was Orphan's wish. Deidara did not enjoy being called 'Mommy' all the time.

Orphan was only five and the Akatsuki made her birthday the day they found her, which was June Twenty-seventh.(Which was actually her real birth date)

Pein decided that today was the day he and Deidara confronted Orphan about 'IT'.

"Orphan, come here!" Pein called.

Of course, Orphan obeyed Daddy's voice.

"Orphan, we are your, uh... Um *ahemn* your parents and, uh, Naruto is our greatest enemy..." Pein said, Deidara by his side.

"Uh-huh." Orphan said, clearly paying close attention, so Pein continued.

"So that means that THAT Naruto plush doll is against our regulation. So, I'm going to de-"

Orphan got tears in her eyes.

"Oh no, she's gonna cry! Hm" A look of panic and concern struck Deidara's face.

Orphan turned and ran away screaming; "Grandma! Daddy and Mommy don't love me!"

"Orphan, get back here this instant!" Pein shouted.

Orphan didn't turn back. That was the first time she disobeyed Daddy's voice.

A couple minutes later, Konan came over carrying the crying child. "You guys are horrible at parenting." She said dryly.

"We know..." Deidara and Pein said at the same time while hanging their heads.

Konan put Orphan down and she ran over to Hidan.

"Hey Orphan, time for another lesson." Hidan said.

Orphan pulled up a chair.

"First, you pray to Jashin..." Hidan said, holding his necklace to his lips.

"Then you SLICE THEM, AND SLASH THEM, STAB THEM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!" Red juices splattered everywhere. "HAHA, SQUEEZE THEM WITH YOU BARE HANDS! SHOW THEM NO MERCY, CRIPPLE THEM LIKE NEVER BEFORE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! ... And that Orphan, is how you make home made tomato sauce." Hidan said, obviously proud of himself.

"Oooooh!" Orphan awed, fascinated.

"I'll let you in on a little secret." Hidan said, still smiling like a psychopath, "We're having PIZZA tonight."

"Yay!" Orphan shouted, though she had no idea what that was.

That night, everyone ate Hidan's pizza, but they each got to put their own toppings on.

Kisame put anchovies on his slice, Hidan put extra tomato sauce on his, Tobi(who eats in his room each mealtime) had nothing but cheese on his slice. Itachi put extra pepperoni, some sausage, and parmasean cheese on his slice, Zetsu put BACON on his, and Kakuzu ate nothing but the crust, not trusting Hidan's sauce.

Sasori said it wasn't neccesary for him to eat, but Konan crammed a slice down his throat, as to not set a bad example for Orphan. Pein had a simple slice of pizza, pepperoni and cheddar. Konan and Deidara added tiny peices of red hot chili peppers and Orphan added lettuce.

Yes, lettuce.

The next day, it was Itachi's turn to go shopping and he refused to let anyone come with him, even Orphan.

When he got to the store, dressed in casual attire of course, he grabbed two baskets.

One for needs, the other for wants. First, he went and got four boxes of cereal, two huge packs of bacon for Zetsu, Konan's ingredients for cookies, and all the other needed groceries.

Then he moved onto clothes. He got white t-shirts for everybody except Tobi, Konan, and Sasori.

He got Orphan a black night gown. He got the rest of the needs and wants of Akatsuki and went to pay.

With how smart Itachi is, he added everything and it came up to five hundred dollars. But when he checked out, the cashier rung it up seven hundred dollars.

Itachi was not amused and got into and argument with the cashier.

With all the commotion, a lady cashier came over. When she saw Itachi, she immediately fixed the problem.

Itachi paid for the items and headed for the door.

The lady cashier stopped him. "Hey, my name's Tanoshii. How about a movie, seven PM?"

"No." Itachi replied, no emotion.

"But you owe me." Tanoshii said, trying to flirt.

Itachi ignored her. He left and headed to the lair. When Itachi got back back to the lair, he had Deidara put away the groceries, Sasori agreed to set up Orphan's outside stuff.

An hour later...

Sasori had just finished setting up the hammock when he saw Orphan and Kisame come out of the lair.

Orphan was in a one-piece pink bathing-suit, and Kisame was in blue swim trunks.

Sasori started on Orphan's sandbox.

Orphan threw a fish squeaky toy into pool, but Kisame refused to fetch it.

Orphan started sniffle-hiccuping, so Kisame jumped into the pool and got the dog toy.

That went on until Sasori finished Orphan's sandbox. Then Orphan decided to play with Tobi.

Tobi had a red shirt and green shorts. He had brought out two pails and shovels, two pool noodles, and a picnic basket.

Tobi and Orphan had fun until they were hungry, but when Tobi opened the basket, all he found was a big hole.

Then, they saw the culprit, it was Zetsu.

He was sitting on top of the pool water, eating Tobi and Orphan's snack.

Zetsu was wearing jet-black swim trunks and looked like he was having a pretty good time eating the snack, until Tobi hit him with a pool noodle.

Orphan was inside making, not asking, making Deidara make new snacks.

While Deidara was making snacks, Orphan went back outside and saw Tobi whacking Zetsu with a pool noodle.

When Deidara finished the snacks, he decided to spend some time in the sun too.

He let his hair down and put his swim trunks on, which had the word BANG! on the back.

He went outside and the sight he saw nearly made him drop the snacks.

He saw Zetsu curled into a ball, while being whacked with pool noodles by Tobi and Orphan.

But, instead of helping, Deidara made his way toward Sasori, who was building a swingset.

"Here Danna. Hm" Deidara said, handing him some pineapple fruit juice and a Ziploc bag of pretzels.

"You know Deidara, it's not necessary for me to eat, right?" Sasori stated.

"Yea, I know, just thought you'd enjoy not being left out... Hm" Deidara answered.

"Hey, guys, snack time!" He called, and everyone scrambled over.

Deidara handed Kisame a cup of pineapple fruit juice and a Ziploc bag of pretzels.

"Thanks." Kisame said.

Deidara handed Tobi a cup of pineapple fruit juice and a ziplock bag of pretzels.

"Thank-you Deidara Sempai~! WHEEEEE!" Tobi shouted, a little too cheerful.

Deidara handed Orphan her juice and pretzels.

"Thank-you Mommy!" Orphan said politely.

Deidara's eye twitched twice. Then he gave Zetsu his snack.

"Thank-you. ... What are you supposed to say?! Hmph. Say it or else! Hmph, fine, thank-you!" Zetsu and Yoropiko said and went of to eat his snack.

Don't be surprised that Orphan and Tobi started to whack Zetsu with pool noodles again when they were done.

That night...

Orphan snuck out of the room she and Tobi shared and slipped into Itachi's room.

Then she woke him up a proceeded to ramble about nonsense.

But each time Itachi put her back, she'd get out of bed and come back to his room. Finally, Itachi put a jutsu on her so that when she left the room, she'd go straight to the bathroom and back.

Itachi counted Orphan walking past his room five times before she stayed in bed.

The next day, Hidan and Kakuzu got in an argument.

"I bet you're a horrible grandpa!" Hidan said.

"No way! I teach Orphan the value of money, I teach her how to count money, I teach her math with money! I bet YOU'RE a horrible uncle!" Kakuzu replied.

"NUH-UH!" Hidan protested. "I teach Orphan the well beings of Jashin and I play with her a lot and-"

"Orphan plays with me too!" Kakuzu inturrupted.

"Well, she likes playing with me more!" Hidan declared.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"UH-HUH!"

"Well then, let's ask Orphan! ORPHAN!"

"Yes Grandpa?" Orphan padded over.

"Orphan, pick a game. At the end of the game, pick who was better."

"Okay, I'll get Daddy!" Pein, Hidan, and Kakuzu ended up playing tea party...

At the end, Hidan asked who she liked the most.

Orphan held up her plush doll, "Naruto!" She shouted, smiling at the very shocked faces of all three men.

"Orphan, time for another lesson!" Hidan said, walking away.

Kakuzu pulled Orphan aside. "Add twenty plus twenty plus twenty plus twenty plus twenty and I'll give you the total if you disobey Hidan."

"ORPHAN!" Hidan called.

"Coming!" Orphan walked to Hidan.

"Alright, first, you pray to the Lord Jashin..." Hidan held his necklace to his lips."Then, you stab the person you hate the most, *ahemn* Kakuzu *ahemn*..."

So, Orphan took Hidan's spear and stabbed him in the foot.

Hidan was so surprised, he toppled over. When he looked up, he saw Kakuzu give Orphan money. He proceeded to cuss at him.

In the kitchen, Deidara was making himself something to eat, but he nearly dropped it when Orphan went skipping past singing about the money she had just received.

Deidara took his food into the living room and saw Hidan pouring iodine on his foot.

Deidara changed course and went to the dining room.

Konan walked up behind Hidan and heard him grumbling under his breath.

She sighed. "You know, it's your own fault Hidan."

Hidan looked up and scowled. "No it isn't, it's Kakuzu's fault!"

"No, it's your fault for trying to teach Orphan about Jashin, in which we told you NOT to do." Konan said dryly.

Hidan scowled again and went back to pouring iodine on his foot.

Just then, Orphan tugged on Konan's cloak.

"Yes Orphan, what is it?" Konan asked.

"Um... Pet's head is stuck in the potty." Orphan said.

"How'd he get it stuck?!" Hidan asked, forgetting about his foot.

"Well, Tobi was telling me about sharks and how they can breath underwater. I wanted to see Pet breath underwater, so I tricked him, then pushed his head in the potty and now it's stuck." Orphan said shamefully. "And I really need to go... I'm sorry."

Konan could see that Orphan was on the verge of crying, though she couldn't tell if it was because Orphan was sorry or she had to pee really bad.

Anyhow, Konan went to the kitchen and whipped together butter, grease, soap, and cooking oil.

The stench of it caused Deidara to almost lose his lunch.

Konan went to the bathroom and poured her mixture over Kisame's head, then waited for a few minutes. Then she pulled his hair and his head popped right out.

Apparently, he had passed out from panic. Orphan made Zetsu pick Kisame up, then pushed everyone out the bathroom, locking the door behind them.

It was finally fall and it was Konan's turn to go brought Orphan along, saying it was girl time.

Konan let Orphan walk beside her, but put a chakra line on her wrist and attached the other end to her own.

First thing she did was get necessary groceries, then moved on to clothes. Konan had no problem with going into the men's section. She and Orphan picked out sweaters, coats, and thermal underwear for everybody.

Orphan picked out snow boots and snow pants for herself.

Konan then got one of 'those'.

"Ooooh, what's that?" Orphan asked, poking it.

"Something you'll wear when you get older." Konan answered.

"Can I have one now?"

"No. And if you act up, so help me I will do something horrible to you." Konan said.

"But I want one NOW!"

Konan pulled down Orphan's pants and underwear, then spanked her five times hard with a wooden spoon.

"Did I make myself clear?" Konan asked.

Orphan nodded, pulled up her pants, and continued walking. "C-can you m-make me a p-paper flower too..?" She asked, pointing at the white paper flower in Konan's vivid blue-violet hair.

Konan pulled a piece of gold paper out of nowhere and folded it into a rose identical to her own while , she put it in Orphan's hair.

Konan and Orphan finished getting the necessary items, and a few sleds, paid for them, then headed home.

That night, it was Pein's turn to cook. He made spaghetti and meatballs, everyone got a cup of grape juice, and Pein put the last two leaves of lettuce on Orphan's plate.

When it was time for bed, Orphan took a big red marker and marked off the day. Orphan then went to bed, but only stayed asleep for three hours.

She woke up because she heard sounds downstairs. Orphan went down and found Itachi watching television.

Orphan went back upstairs and got a blanket and her Naruto plush doll. She then went back downstairs, crawled into Itachi's lap, and start to watch the television with him. Itachi didn't seem to mind.

A few minutes later, Itachi heard Orphan's soft snoring and shut off the television. He carried Orphan, who was stone cold out, to her room and put her in her bed. He put her blanket over her bed, placed her Naruto plush beside her, then went to bed himself.

It was now November and it was Hidan's turn to go shopping.

He brought Orphan along. He got gloves, hats, and scarves for everyone. Then he got the groceries. Hidan purposely avoided the vegetables, but when he went to pay, he found two heads of lettuce in the basket.

When Hidan got back to the lair, he put away the groceries and gave everyone their stuff.

"... Um... Hidan... Where's Orphan...?" Pein asked.

"Uh... Um... Heh heh, uh... I think I left her at the store..." Hidan answered shamefully.

Pein did a facepalm and Hidan went back to get Orphan.

When he got there, he saw a man approach Orphan, who was sitting on an outside bench.

"Hey there little girl, what's your name?" The man asked.

"... Why do you need to know?!"

"Hey hey, don't get all feisty with your uncle Aku now." The man said. Then he grabbed her.

"I do not like you!" Orphan shouted as she dropped her dead weight.

"Hey, come on, where are your p-"

Hidan ran over and hit the guy. "Let her go!"

The man let go instantly after another hit.

"Uncle Hidan!" Orphan hugged onto him.

Hidan picked her up.

"Tsk, foolish heathen! You should be glad I'm not sacrificing you to the Lord Jashin right now!" Hidan then took Orphan home.

The next morning, Orphan looked outside. It was snowing. She smiled and got into her snow gear, then slipped outside.

When the rest of the Akatsuki woke up, everyone panicked, looking for Orphan.

"Where the Hell is Orphan?!" Hidan shouted.

"Uh... Guys, I found her. Hm" Deidara said, pointing out a window.

When Konan saw, she tuned very pale. "Oh my God..."

Outside, Orphan was finishing the smallest of eleven snowmen.

Each snowman looked similar to an Akatsuki member. The Akatsuki ran outside to get a closer look. Pein saw how rosy Orphan's face was and also paled. "Oh my baby!" He ran over and picked her up.

Deidara walked over and Orphan gave him a stick. She sniffled, but her nose kept running. Deidara looked at the stick, confused, then shrugged it off. Everyone went back inside. Deidara made some hot chocolate while Konan made breakfast.

That night, the Akatsuki had milkshakes for dessert. Deidara turned to Kisame. "Milkshake race, one two three, go!" Deidara proceeded to to drink his milkshake in twenty seconds flat.

Everyone stared at him for a few minutes, then he fell to the floor screaming. "Ooooooooow, oooooooooooowwww! It hurts! It hurts it hurts it huuuuuurts!"

Kisame, who didn't compete, just stared at him. Soon, everyone was done and had left the dining room...

Except Deidara, who was still screaming like a maniac.

Orphan had loads of fun in Thanksgiving, but it was now two days before Christmas and everyone was shopping.

The Akatsuki let Hidan take Orphan, since he really didn't watch her, but made sure to find her after they were done.

On Christmas Eve Night, which Orphan called it, Orphan did her best to stay awake, but fell asleep after ten minutes. On Christmas morning, Orphan woke everyone up, but Pein made a rule. No presents until after dinner.

That night, Orphan ate the fastes. She scarfed down her green beans, mashed potatoes, ham, and cranberry sauce. She gulped down her eggnog and ran to the living room. When everyone got to the living room, she insisted they opened the gifts from her first.

Orphan gave Konan her gift. Konan opened it and pulled out a very beautiful paper flower. Orphan had tried to make a rose, but it came out a lily.

Itachi was next. He opened the box and pulled out a set of fingernail polish with different shades of purple.

Orphan had made Tobi a shirt that said '#1 Best Little Brother'. She had painted a picture of a shark for Kisame, and got Kakuzu a gift card.

She got Deidara a large pack of modeling clay, he could keep his art instead of blowing it up. She gave Sasori a little wooden puppet she made and gave Hidan a shirt with red paint smeared on it and words saying 'BACK OFF'.

She gave Zetsu a mint plant, and to Pein, necklaces she made.

Yea, for each Pein. All six. She didn't make or get anything for Nagato since she doesn't even know he exists.

Then, it was Orphan's turn. She received a blue harness from Hidan, a green leash from Kakuzu, an orange collar from Tobi, a few squeaky toys from Kisame, a clay figure of herself from Deidara, a book on origami from Konan, a boquet from Zetsu, a dress from Sasori, and a dinosaur plush toy from Itachi.

Pein got up and went upstairs. He came back carrying... A puppy. Orphan squealed with joy.

"Oh my gosh, thank-you Daddy! You got me a puppy! Eeeeeeee!"

"What will you name him?" Tobi asked her.

Orphan smiled. "... Lettuce."

Pein handed Lettuce to her.

A few more days passed and, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Orphan shouted at the top of her voice.

Please note: I call the black side of Zetsu, Yoropiko. It is easier than calling him KuroZetsu or Black Zetsu. I am also addicted to writing Pain's name as 'Pein', I apologize if either of these things are annoying