I screamed as loud as I could, forcing out the pain and agony from my heart. It wasn't true. It was simply not true. I couldn't believe my ears. I quickly covered my ears to stop the over obsessive thinking. Nothing could pull me out of this reverie. I was simply stuck. Stuck in a world where there wasn't a god. There was darkness. No god or mystical creature could pull me away.
"There isn't a god!" I screamed, my voice causing shockwaves through the silent moss green forest. It cannot be done.
Suddenly, his face flashed through my mind.
Edward.
My back arched from the new pain while I covered my eyes. I forcibly tried to push my eyes in order to get him out of my mind. I quickly whimpered loudly in hopes of having a release; any kind of release. I couldn't breathe. Those words … those emotions … I prayed silently to the imaginary god that they were lies; prayed that I didn't have to endure any of this pain for a moment longer.
"Please!" I cried, tears flowing down my neck, warming my open fiery heart from the depression. I couldn't understand why I had been chosen for this doom. I had been good, never did anything horrible, and yet …. I was granted with this pain.
"Help me …" I trailed off, my arms wrapping my chest in hopes to ease the pain. I looked up to see rain falling while the sun was still blooming in the sky. It seemed the inevitable was happening. I shook my head and silently chanted. I won't say goodbye, I won't say goodbye-
"Be safe" he whispered.
"NO!" I said, covering my ears. Those words were lies. I couldn't be safe. I just couldn't. My savior couldn't protect me therefore, I was lost. Lost in a supermassive black hole with no escape. This was going to be my destiny. I was going to be dammed forever by the imaginary gods.
I silently laid down on the floor and looked up in the sky. Watching the clouds turn different shapes and sizes, watched them evolve into something more; into something. In jealousy I watched them move blissfully into the other side. Watched them fascinate other people besides me.
"I don't want you" he growled.
I screamed once again to the air, hoping to get all the desperation out.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I screamed, but with no answer. "I love you" I said quietly, my heart beating going in sync with my voice. It was quiet, slow, but fierce. Waiting for the moment to explode again and become lost once again into the darkness.
I slowly got up, my pain making me slower than usual, every ounce of my energy going towards my heart.
Anything to ease the pain, I thought.
I walked slowly but firm, hoping to get towards my destination. This was going to make everything better. This was my last chance at peace, and it was giving me its hand, inviting me to a new world. It was my dream becoming true, and I was planning to it fulfill to the fullest.
With every step I took, my determination grew. It grew into a big ball of hope that wasn't to be crashed for the hundredth time. It was going to explode into bliss and eternal peace. My soul was the price, but I didn't care. I was already dead inside. Nothing mattered anymore. I was the anti-matter, with everyone hating me for ruining their perfect lives that mattered.
With one final step, I found myself facing the cliff. I smiled peacefully and sighed.
"Edward. My love, I have lost you. It was with great hope that I thought I might have you again. But I see the time has passed and I can't gain your immortal soul once more. So with my all of my heart, soul, and body … I tell you goodbye" I finished, wiping my last tears. From here, I could hear heaven cry. Hear it's soft, white voice granting me entrance.
With one final look, I jumped.
No one tells you when you feel really happy, there's usually sad behind it. They tell you the other half, because no one likes a sad story. Especially one that doesn't have a happy ending, just like this one.
I landed in the water with a huge splash, causing my slowly dying body to ache.
"Swim!" he commanded me!
I jerked upright from his voice, and started kicking the waves. The violent, angry waves were pulling me back and forth, making my body sway to a non-existent melody. I smiled in the water and spread my arms wide for the imaginary god to take me. I was finally going to get my dying wish. No pun intended.
"Swim! Don't you dare give up! SWIM!" he roared, making me smile even more.
"It's over, Edward. My time on earth is spent, and it's time for me to go" I whispered.
Suddenly, a very big wave crashed into me causing me to hit my head against a rock. I was slowly losing consciousness.
Goodbye my love …
With those last words, I was gone.