A/N: My first Science Bros fanfic so please be nice! If there are things that don't entirely match up with the canon then I most likely did it on purpose for the sake of this story.

Please review if you like it. It would mean a lot.

Chapter 1: Alone

...

"Sir, would you like me to contact Miss Pots and notify her of your current condition?"

Tony barely heard the accented voice echo in the room as he struggled to catch his breath. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "D-Don't you… d-dare do anything of the s-sort, Jarvis… I-I will make
y-you –"

"- a permanent fixture, yes. I believe you have threatened me with that a few times before. Sir, your respiratory status is currently at a dangerous level. I suggest you attempt to calm down…"

Tony wanted to throttle his AI right now but it was bad enough he could barely focus on controlling his breathing. It had been a stupid thing that had set off his PTSD. He would calm down if he could, but he couldn't. His mind wouldn't let him do that right now. It's like it wanted him to suffer, not to say he didn't deserve it either.

Suddenly, he saw the doors to his lab open up and Pepper walk in hurriedly, a worried expression plastered on her face as she tried to rush over to him where he was crouched down against a wall. She knelt down in front of him and placed her hands gently on his cheeks.

"Tony… it's okay, it's just me. You're okay. This is going to pass but you just need to breathe, okay?"

Her voice was soothing, as if she were talking to a young child. Any other time, Tony Stark would scold her for talking to him like this but in the moment, it was calming. He tried to focus on her voice as she continued to speak soothing words in a hushed whisper.

"I-I… It was the TV… I just… t-turned it on a-and it was all o-over… N-New York…"

Pepper's confused expression switched over to understanding immediately as soon as Tony had spoken the words 'New York.' Nothing else had to be explained. He was still reeling from that day. So many lives were lost, so many innocent people that she knew he blamed himself for not saving. Of course she knew that it wasn't his fault. She gently caressed his cheeks where warm tears had fallen.

"D-Did Jarvis t-tell you about me…? R-Remind me to d-disconnect him, w-will you…?"

Pepper rolled her eyes and shook her head as he continued to caress his cheeks with her cool hands. "You need to learn when to shut up, Tony. I'm glad Jarvis told me what was going on with you! I wouldn't have ever known it otherwise until I came down here several hours later to check on you. How are you feeling?"

All Tony could do was nod but he just her presence was beginning to calm him down some. He ran his fingers through his dark hair and closed his eyes.

"Would you like me to put on some soothing music, Sir?"

"Cut me a break here, J-Jarvis…"

"I'm going to get you a glass of water, Tony. Just keep breathing…" Pepper spoke before she disappeared out of his lab and headed towards the kitchen.

Flashes of Loki's chaos and reign of terror played in Tony's head like a movie, complete with the blood of the innocents and the near death stunt when he had to get rid of the bomb in order to save Earth. He felt a tightening pain in his chest and he had to remind himself that he no longer had a real human heart anymore, but a miniature arc-reactor for a heart.

What was the pain in his chest then? It felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

"Jarvis, please tell my dear secretary to hurry up with that water. I think I'm going to be dead before she comes back."

"I will tell her the first part of your request. I know for a fact that you will not die from a panic attack. Just continue to breathe, Sir."

Tony cursed the AI under his breath but tried to do as he was told. Breathing was easier said than done during panic attacks but he knew it would pass eventually. "Pepper! Pepper!" he called out to her, hoping she was close by.

"Coming!" an equally panicked voice answered back a few moments later. The sound of her heels clicking on the floor told Tony that she was half walking, half running towards him. "Okay, drink, Tony... it'll help you."

"Drinking is one of t-the many t-things I'm g-good at…" Tony took the glass from her with shaky hands and started to drink the water, ignoring her disapproving look. He half downed the glass when he gave it back to her to hold and felt his breathing begin to slow down again.

She watched him with loving eyes and leaned in before she gently kissed his temple. "Do you need me to do anything else?"

Tony shook his head and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands before he looked up at her again, his breathing normalized again. "Tell all the news channels to stop mentioning what happened in New York on repeat. That would be good."

"I can't do that, Tony. I wish I could but you know I can't…"

"I know you can't. It was a foolish request of me to make," Tony sighed and forced himself to stand up but nearly fell over, catching his balance on a nearby stool. "So uhh… any word yet from Banner about helping me?"

She seemed taken back by the question but she nodded and chewed nervously on her lip. "Oh, um, yes. Bruce Banner is actually waiting for you in the computer lab."

Tony gave her a hard look now, as if she had betrayed him somehow. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Do we always keep our friends waiting like this?"

She sighed and shrugged. "You were having an anxiety attack, Tony! I didn't think it was a good time to tell you that you had a guest here! I gave him some tea and he's perfectly content. He's not being ignored. He's just waiting for you. Besides, since when do you consider him, or anyone, a friend?"

Tony shrugged more emphatically than he meant to. "I don't know, Pepper! We like the same things. That's what makes people friends, right?" Before she could answer, he half-staggered out and headed towards his computer lab two floors up.

When he entered the room, he put on a bright smile for show, as if he hadn't just been nearly dying of a heart attack just moments ago. "Banner! What a nice surprise…"

Bruce straightened up as he held his cup in his hands. "This wasn't exactly a surprise. You asked me to come over to help you with one of your experiments."

Tony smirked now and walked closer to him and sat down beside him on the long white couch. "Correction: I asked if it would be possible for you to help me with something but I never asked you to come over."

Bruce chuckled softly and nodded slowly. "So are you glad I came over?"

"Unbelievable glad, Banner. Talk first, work later, though. How goes it? Still Hulk out when you get mad?"

Tony loved using "jokes" at others' expense to hide his own pain, which was exactly what he was doing right now. He didn't want to talk about himself. His pain wasn't important. His own pain didn't matter or count for anything. He deserved that pain, or so he told himself every minute of every day since That Day.

Bruce just smiled and chuckled lightly before he scratched his temple. "I think I'm getting better at controlling it, actually. I do my best not to get mad."

"And chamomile tea helps with that, does it?" Tony asked, playfully teasing his fellow scientist, smiling back.

The other man nodded. "It does, it does help. Also, not overreacting helps too. What about you? I heard you were having some kind of episode while I was here earlier? You know I'm a part-time doctor as well as a scientist. I could've helped you."

Tony sighed and shifted his body uncomfortable. "Just a… slight anxiety attack. Nothing to Hulk out about. Ready to get cracking on that science thing I want to do?"

Bruce looked at him skeptically before he ran his tongue over his teeth and shook his head almost pitifully in Tony's direction. He could tell the billionaire was hurting, sticking him with slight jabs and changing the subject when he could. It had been a while since he had worked on a regular project with Stark but he didn't want to have to deal with the jokes about Bruce's own "superpower" that he loathed so much. He could only handle him in small doses.

"Let's go back to that anxiety attack you said you were having. What's that about, Tony?"

The other man cleared his throat and grew oddly quiet, a rare event for Tony Stark. He rubbed the back of his neck and then shrugged dramatically. "I don't know. What's anything about? Hm?"

"Are you still having nightmares about what happened in New York with Loki?" Bruce asked tenderly, taking a step towards Tony.

Tony took an unconscious step back and folded his arms across his chest now, as if he were trying to put an invisible shield between himself and the question. "What? No, don't be an idiot. Of course not… come on, let's work on that… that… project… thing that we were going to work on."

"Tony," Bruce urged. "The truth. Right now."

"I'm not. I'm totally fine –"

Bruce raised his eyebrows. " – Except for that anxiety attack you just had a few minutes ago…"

Tony sighed now and nodded. "Yes, except or that. Umm… it doesn't matter. That… doesn't happen very often. Just a bit stressed out, you know?"

Banner couldn't stand how relaxed Tony sounded about this and he hated that Stark was lying to his face. He shook his head now and stood up straight. "Tell me the truth right now or I'm gone, and you won't have anyone to help distract you from your own demons."

Tony had a second where he actually thought about confessing everything, but then… no. He couldn't do that, he couldn't allow himself to be weak. That's not what his father had taught him. Starks had to be tough, witty, strong. There was no room for weakness, no time to be weak.

"Then what are you waiting for, Banner? Leave. Just leave if you want! I'm not going to stand in front of you and beg you to stay with me," Tony replied, his face stoic but his eyes sad. "We're not a couple or anything and you're not breaking up with me, so. Just. Leave."

Bruce sighed to himself and nodded reluctantly. "Fine, I will." He walked quickly past Tony and as soon as the door shut, Stark found himself sliding against the wall helplessly.

What had he done?

He knew what he did. He drove away the only man who understood what it felt like to have demons living inside of him. He drove away the only man who came per Tony's request willingly, because he wanted to.

Now he was alone.

"Sir, your heartrate is beginning to increase. Would you like me to contact Miss Pots again?"

Tony sighed, closing his eyes as he rested his face in his palms. "That will not be necessary, Jarvis."

Well, almost alone.