This is referred to in the longer Merthur story in case anyone was wondering.
Pain. Not the physical throb of anything, no blood (internal or external), just the deep self-loathing and hatred, the disgust of the mirror and the face that regards you the same. The heart-wrenching loneliness even as some servant girl moaned beneath him. It had never mattered, he'd never cared. The stabbing, deep, penetrating, agony of it all: the pain of being a prince. The pain of being Prince of Camelot. It left a bitter taste to the blinding darkness of orgasm. Pretty soon he'd given up getting any one to pleasure him and did it himself. At least then it would be pure enjoyment.
The curse. A look that lingered too long, the heat that gripped him at the extension of muscles, the want to be held, to be loved, and stroked and coddled. The weakness that existed in his heart and he covered under arrogance and pride. The tremble those playful touches, the adrenaline and the nights alone. Yes, a curse. He thought it ironic since Uther had a strict "Death to magic" policy in the kingdom, but his son was under some sorcerer's spell. That sorcerer called desire. She dilated his pupils at the sight of sweat over biceps, made him swoon slightly at the rush of blood south. She blotted out any semblance of duty, the future, an heir, and the world of propriety. She made him burn and want it so badly he thought he would die sometimes.
Evil witch...
In the eighteenth year of Arthur's life, he came to the conclusion that he could never tell anyone the truth. He'd discovered this curse and pain at the age of sixteen, but now, knew for certain. She was lovely, she really was in her own right, but there was nothing beyond the aesthetics. Uther was hoping to corner a deal between the two, but they both knew better. Lady Elena was in love with someone else, and Arthur couldn't bear the thought of loving her. He made a decision after his father had hinted at a prosperous match: he would run and live as himself before committing himself to the crown. He'd bowed and left the room and began packing a light bag. It was an unmarked satchel, a simple blue cloak, a bag of simple coins (no gold, too obvious), and he'd already readied the horse he wanted. Divested of any symbol and with an extremely simple saddle, bridle, and pack. On the night that she and her father left, Arthur left also. He left when the guards were changing shift around the stables and at the city gate. It was simple really and laughed at the success of his adventure when he'd swung himself up onto the nondescript brown bay mare and lead her through the back gates of the city before breaking into a run beyond the Darkling woods. The wind rushed and as soon as he was far enough, he stopped to rest, erasing tracks for a few hundred paces and starting a fire for them to brave the night with.
He knew his father found out about his disappearance much too late for it to matter to Arthur. Uther thought that someone had gotten into the palace and kidnapped his son. Arthur was fine with that, it didn't matter. He was free and he would have his freedom for at least once in his life and at least when he got back he wouldn't have to deal with any sort of hashed explanation of his disappearance. By dawn, he was back to traveling.
He knew that whatever land he was going towards, it was an ally of Uther's. Any crossing between the territories wouldn't cause any disturbance people probably wouldn't have noticed. They didn't. He slipped through towns, taverns, and market places easily enough. He relied on hunted game for food and berries he found as he traveled. There was something like peace in his freedom.
When he stumbled into some Lord's lands he decided that it was far enough from Camelot to avoid detection. He wasn't particularly running out of money, and the idea of a roof over his head was a nice idea. He was buying a few apples from a woman when he ran into a young servant boy, shorter than him, and marked with the Duke of Dale's crest. The boy stopped and looked up at him.
"Excuse me sir..."
Arthur raised an eyebrow, "Me?"
"Yes, I'm on orders from my master... to find him a manservant to fill in while I go home... Would you be interested?"
Arthur rose an eyebrow, stopping his horse and analyzing the boy. He was much younger than Arthur, no weapons (unless they were concealed). He was relaxed and open looking up at him with curiosity and anticipation.
"I can see that you have been traveling a while sire, it would pay handsomely, and my master is kind..."
Arthur felt an odd sensation go through his mind as their eyes locked. There was something knowing about the boy, but he couldn't place his finger on it. He looked over him noticing all the marks of a well care for servant... Rather than question the selection, he nodded and followed the boy. Never mind that he'd never scrubbed a floor a day in his life, or washed his own clothes before this stint of freedom, a roof and a fire sounded like heaven in relation to the chilled days in the forest and the unexpected rain that had driven him here.
When they arrived to the estate of the Duke, Arthur was surprised to find most of the estate empty. There were a few men and women who tended a few crops and a stable boy, but less servants than Arthur expected. A stable boy smiled at him and took his horse from him. He followed the young boy into the main foyer and towards a room. The smell of roasted meat filled his nose and the scent of freshly baked bread followed soon after. He remembered then that he hadn't eaten since late the night before.
"Master..."
The man looked up and Arthur felt his pupils dilate, pushing out any sense of color in his irises so even the darkest parts of his mind could take in the sight. Everything that usually hid in the darkness had no place to run now and he could feel like himself, his true self in his simple clothes. He felt more Arthur than he ever had in his life. Dark, rakish hair in waves that only teased his eyelids. Those eyes were a clear and gleaming emerald green, his chin was slightly bead roughened, his jaw strong and from the look of him this was the Duke of Dale. Arthur swallowed hard to suppress a sound as a slow and appraising smile spread over dark features. Green eyes slid over Arthur's frame in approval before popping back to his eyes.
"You're sure, James?"
Velvet, cotton, and the smell of clanging steel came from that deep rumble. It was fire and light and all the things he could never experience as Arthur Pendragon, Prince of Camelot. He sighed in remembrance that he wasn't that person. He was pushed down somewhere and locked in a tiny box until he returned to Camelot to serve out his Royal sentence for the rest of his life.
"I am, sir."
The Duke nodded, and stood. Arthur had to look up slightly and felt a little dwarfed by the size of the man. He realized them that they man had to be a few years older than him as well, but he wasn't sure. There was a youthful, carefree air behind the obvious maturity in his face and the few scrapes Arthur could see. He imagined that the rest of the man's body looked somewhat similar. He hoped there were scars, he shivered at the thought and cleared his throat to bring himself back into the moment. Fantasies could wait until much later, when he was alone and not facing his (definitely) female-oriented future employer.
"Thank you James, be safe, my friend."
James bowed and the Duke shook his head as he slid out of the room and the rest of the servants slid out as well.
"Welcome to my home, I'm am Nicholas, Duke of Dale. Nicholas is fine I promise you. Your name?"
Arthur swallowed, he hadn't really thought of a name for himself. He couldn't very well say Arthur Pendragon now could he? It had to be something simple, something so simple that it wouldn't stand out.
"William."
Nicholas raised an eyebrow, "No surname, William?"
"Not that I'd share." Smooth Arthur, now he thinks you've got something to hide!
Nicholas nodded in good humor, "Understandably. We all have our secrets, and we've only just met. Please sit. I'm sure you're hungry... riding through the night and out of the rain will do that."
Arthur slid into a seat a little surprised by Nicholas's actions. He passed him a bowl a plate and a cup telling him to help himself to whatever he'd like while beginning to make his own plate.
"I never got the hang of having servants fix me plates," Nicholas said pressing a berry to his lips. "Or dressing me. It always seemed a little odd..."
Arthur said nothing, continuing to eat as he did while stealing glances at Nicholas.
"I'm sure you're wondering why I require a manservant, and why James chose you..."
Arthur didn't say anything only looking up and waiting for whatever explanation was behind those emerald eyes. There was an understanding smile, but Nicholas didn't dwell on it, urging him to continue eating before they took a tour of the house. He was told the reason for there being so few servants. He was sending the entire household on holiday for the month before he traveled to his allied kingdom.
"Will I be needed until then?"
"No," he said. "You'll be released a few days before I travel to Camelot."
Arthur's stomach tightened, the world tilted for a minute, but Nicholas didn't seem to catch it, going on as he led Arthur through the various floors of the house. Nicholas arrived at room on the second floor and shut the door so they may speak in private. Arthur surveyed the room. There was a dead fireplace, yet light spilled across the floor from the windows illuminating the spines of books and the polished varnish of the desk. His eyes fell to the pages there, mostly blank, but one with strict, neat handwriting that Arthur could read even at a distance. He envied the man, trust this dark-haired Duke to be utterly delectable and have perfect handwriting.
"Have you ever been a manservant, William?"
"No."
Nicholas crossed the room, leaning against the desk and regarding him, "I've been trying to get a handle on you, William... To be honest, I don't think you're a common man."
Arthur swallowed, "Wh-What?"
"You stand too straight, your eyes shift around the room to secure it, your speech is... noble."
Arthur swallowed, Nicholas smiled however. "Don't be so frightened, I , at the moment, have no idea who you actually are, nor do I particularly care. James would not bring me someone to ruin me."
Arthur frowned, what did that mean? Ruin him? How would being someone's manservant ruin them? Was he expecting an attack on his life?
"James... has a gift," Nicholas said. "Something that I haven't employed before, but on this occasion it was necessary..."
Arthur frowned, "What... do you mean, if you don't mind me asking."
"Do you have a woman, where ever you're from?"
He shook his head.
"A man then?"
Arthur flushed and shook his head once more.
"But that isn't because you didn't want one, is it?"
Blank. His mind went blank and the words replayed, echoing, ricocheting, and clanging around his head like a million swords against shields. Emerald gems were steady on him and he felt frozen in them. Was he baiting Arthur? Was this a game? How did he know?
The boy, how had he known? He took a step back, but Nicholas didn't move watching him with interest and understanding.
"It's okay," Nicholas said. "It's the reason why James chose you."
Arthur's eyes refused to widen in shock, he refused to move anymore but stared at him, "How... did you know that?"
Nicholas grinned, "He's a Druid."
He took another step back. A man concerting with Druids? An alliance to Camelot? What?
"What are you... magic is outlawed in Camelot."
Nicholas nodded, "After Uther's Purge, which I don't think you're old enough to remember, many of the survivors fled here and to other parts of the five kingdoms. Magic has always been welcome in Dale... Don't look so frightened, I'm not going to hurt you... I take it you're from Camelot."
Arthur cleared his throat, but didn't answer as Nicholas got off the desk and rolled down the collar of his shirt to expose a Druid tryskellion on his left pectoral which Arthur took in with pause.
"My mother was a Druid, she helped a lot of people enter my father's dukedom during the purge... risked her life to save her kin while being pregnant with me."
"Why are you allied with Camelot?" Arthur asked. "I don't understand..."
He smiled, "There is a prophecy that we believe in, the Once and Future King that will unite Albion and bring magic back into the world... It won't be this way forever and if there is any place that our kind would look for such a King, it would be Camelot. But that is another story, and not why you're here."
Once and Future King? In Camelot? He wanted to snort, his father was a fanatic when it came to magic, and while he had not formed his own opinions of it, he was not so quick to trust someone with magic. It went against everything he was taught, yet there was the core of him telling him that Nicholas had no intention of harming him. He had no intention of harming anyone, he was not evil, yet he had magic.
"William."
He came back and was staring at Nicholas's collarbone. The tile was slow but it happened, staring up into forest green eyes that burned with an intensity that made his knees have an unstable connection with the ground, and the vague notion that he was nowhere and everywhere at once. His stomach wrenched nervously, but Arthur did not move.
"Have you ever had a man before?"
His mouth opened but no words came. Nicholas's hand stroked over the outline of his face gently, too gently and warm. Arthur turned his head into it instinctively, his eyes fluttered closed as Nicholas continued to stroke his face, down towards his neck and across the back of it, drawing him closer and up as Nicholas leaned down. He felt so dizzy, so heightened an edge, he swore if something didn't happen he would end up in a heap of unconscious on the floor at Nicholas's feet and that just wasn't very princely, or manly, of him.
I sound like such a girl...Swooning, fainting, getting dizzy at the caress across his neck, and the heat, the smell of the other man.
Nicholas stepped forward, Arthur stumbled back until he was up against the door. Nothing in him screamed to defend himself, the hold had not changed, he was gentle and firm and waiting for something. Arthur couldn't fathom what, trembling and waiting for him to do something.
"William," Nicholas mumbled against his lips. Arthur whimpered. "You haven't answered my question?"
Arthur's head shook, barely enough to be recognized and Nicholas felt the tremor that resulted in their lips brushing against each other.
"Would you be willing be had for the month? Or shorter if you wish to leave?"
Arthur dozed but his eyes focused enough to see Nicholas watching him for an answer before continuing to speak, "A friend of mine, my lover to be precise is coming tomorrow. He'll be here by noon... I don't expect you to-"
"Yes," Arthur breathed. Nicholas leaned back to give Arthur space to breathe and think.
"Do you understand what I want? What I'm asking you?"
"You... wanted a manservant... to serve... I said yes." Arthur breathed in a moment of honest that made his head spin and so much of him scream in protest. He could admit this couldn't he? Wasn't that the point of leaving Camelot the way he did? A chance to be honest and submit to all these deep dark desires that drove him insane in the day time? He could admit it, he could say it and that version of Arthur Pendragon would stay intact. He wasn't Arthur right now. He was a man named William, handy with a sword, willing, and attracted to men
"Use me," Arthur breathed finally. It felt like the first breath of his new life. He hadn't thought of what kind of person William was, but he knew that he wouldn't resist fulfilling his desires and be completely honest about it. He was the complete opposite of Arthur. The freeing darkness to Arthur's burdened light.
Nicholas bit his lip and pressed his lips to Arthur's earning a breathless whimper from the other and the malfunction of his legs. He didn't let Arthur to escape from the feeling of the kiss, instead pulling him up against him. Sword and work-roughened hands dug into the thick muscles of Arthur's leg and ass to lift him up. The response was a reflex that made Arthur yelp/moan as his legs locked around Nicholas's waist and Nicholas pressed him up against the wall. Arthur was now a little taller in this position, but the kiss didn't end interrupted by needless breathing and moaning, pleading on Arthur's part. His shirt was the first to go, followed by Nicholas and as Arthur imagined there was a sexy, jagged scar running across his right pectoral in stark contrast to the smooth tryskellion on his left, another one across his abs. His skin was smooth and soft under Arthur's fingers, his muscles flexed as Nicholas hefted his weight on his hips and his arms to cross the room towards the desk.
Nicholas groaned, setting Arthur on the edge of the desk and moving to remove the man's pants. Arthur lurched after him at the loss of contact, but Nicholas pushed him back, holding him still in his needy squirming. Arthur gasped, too sensitive and too out of it. This was happening and happening so deliciously, rough, better than he imagined. He strained against Nicholas's hold, but nothing helped, the arm didn't budge and it made it that much hotter. He was stronger than him, he liked that more than he could express-
Nicholas grinned at the shocked scream from Arthur's mouth as his tongue slid over the vein on the underside of his cock. Arthur thrashed, pulling at his arm, his hair and kicking against the desk and his shoulder, but Nicholas didn't let up, taking him in his mouth completely and shocking Arthur into choked gasps, hands fumbled to push him away, tears burned across his face, his body jerked and Nicholas held him still until the lights came and the unbearable height came, plunging him down, too fast, into some heady darkness that left him twitching on the desk. Arthur's body slid out of tension and into a lax position on the desk, a bottle of ink splattered through his hair marking it black and gold. Nicholas thought it was beautiful as he stood and reached around him to the drawer where the bottle of oil lay.
Arthur didn't move, but the tears were still rolling and Nicholas waited until some semblance of consciousness came back to Arthur's eyes. Sapphire met emerald as tan hands stroked away tears and Arthur flushed. He moved to turn his face away in shame, but Nicholas held him still, wiping his tears and kissing both cheeks.
"You're very brave," Nicholas said in explanation and Arthur felt a thickness in his throat. He didn't know why he was crying but apparently Nicholas did.
"You've never had that done to you have you?... Not by someone you wanted anyway."
Arthur hiccuped in response and shook his head.
"I'll be gentle," he promised, "Your first time probably shouldn't be on top of a desk..."
Arthur shook his head, "It's okay...Please..."
The urge to carry him to bed was strong, but Arthur was serious, staring up at him. He looked so much like his mother it was scary, he could see her self-assurance and knowing in him, so he consented. He would get Arthur into bed for the next couple of rounds. As promised he took it slow, easing his fingers into Arthur's body, kissing away the new tears that came and the soft whimpering. Arthur trembled in his arms, but moaned all the same. His hands clenched, his nails stung as Nicholas pushed into him as gently as possible. Arthur's breath caught, eyes rolling back, and clinging to Nicholas as if his solid body would remind him that he wasn't made of disparate parts.
Nicholas waited until he could feel Arthur's fluttering muscles getting used to him and the tension eased. The first stroke took Arthur by surprised, starting up a new wave of squirming. Nicholas held him still and waited until it eased and Arthur sunk back into him, his grip tightened and he carried on. There were gasps, moans, and tiny mewls, but Nicholas knew he had Arthur on a second ascension when Arthur crossed his ankles around his waist and rose up to meet him. Nicholas groaned, forcing Arthur to release him so lips could meet. A murmuring breath, more is what he thought was said. He obeyed, thrusting deep and slow, controlling it even when Arthur squirmed to speed it up.
"More," Arthur said, yet there was no conviction, none of Arthur, it was a reflex spoken from payed no heed and Arthur didn't manage to say anything else, whimpering, crying, begging for more. Nicholas held him through the emotional maelstrom of the second coming. Arthur was screaming, clawing at him and like before he relaxed into motionless breathing.
"William?" He whispered, but there was no response as his body relaxed and his arms slid free of Nicholas, his legs slid down and Nicholas realized that he was sleeping. Nicholas smiled and kissed his cheek, wiping the tears away before maneuvering him back into his clothes and carrying him towards his own chambers down the hall. He settled the pliant body beneath the sheet and wrapped him up. He woke up as Nicholas was adjusting his clothing to go and speak to the servants.
It was a needy whimper that made him turn and lean over the bed to kiss Arthur gently.
"Keep the bed warm, I'll be back soon."
There was a pleasant flush as Nicholas took the time to maraud his mouth with languid skill. Arthur hummed in pleasure as Nicholas slid his hand across the back of Arthur's neck and pulled the blankets higher over his shoulder. He was gone in the next moment making sure to organize the guards properly, give them their orders of who to take where and everything else. He sent them off with more than enough food for the journey and blessings. By nightfall, the entire estate was empty save Arthur and Nicholas. He found the other, curled up in bed when he entered later that night with a tray of food and desire. He made a lovely picture in the fire light, golden strands disheveled around his ears, and blue orbs watching him. He could make the outlines of the others body, under the sheets strong and curled in a protective gesture, clinging to the edges of the sheets.
Nicholas set the tray on the nightstand on the other side of the bed and slipped out of his clothing to slide under the sheets and pull Arthur to him. The other flinched and made a noise as Nicholas settled behind him, half hard against the cleft of his ass.
"Are you alright? Did you sleep?"
Arthur nodded and shifted a little in his arms.
"Too intense?"
"Something... like that... It makes me feel vulnerable. I don't now if that's a good thing though..."
Nicholas kissed his shoulder making Arthur squirm as he trailed his lips across his neck and nipped his ear. A shudder passed and he could feel his body reacting. He squirmed but went still as the other's hand closed around his shaft and he could feel the other fully hard and resting between his cheeks. Arthur flushed. He'd never had much experience with intimacy, this being the first time that he really shared a bed with someone. Of course, he'd slept with women before and he'd never been callous enough to throw them out after they were done, but it wasn't sharing a bed. Arthur hadn't ever felt so fever-dizzy, or needy, or just wanted like this. It made things go a little fuzzy in his brain.
The shuddering and needy gasp was enough for Nicholas to think that the other was over thinking it. While new to the experience, he was still hesitant but wanted it. He hadn't even moved his hand, merely licked up the side of his neck. There was a thread of tension running through him, he was trembling, but it was all focused on his hips: Arthur wasn't sure if he should thrust back or forward first... Nicholas had the feeling it was the former. While Arthur was a man that liked to be in control, he seemed to delight in the idea of being under someone else's control, following orders, being dominated. Nicholas suggested that it didn't have to be physical for it to work.
"William," Nicholas rumbled. Arthur flinched at the order in that name. "Turn around."
He did so, eyes cast down and Nicholas readjusted his grip to palm them both, hard and slick in Nicholas's hand, smearing their fluids as he stroked and Arthur trembled and moved to get away.
"If you move, I'll tie you up and have my way with you..."
He didn't know if it was a jerk of terror or want to have it happened, but Arthur moved, but it was sluggish and jumpy. Nicholas grinned, pulling him around and reaching for his belt on the floor to bind Arthur's hands behind his back.
"I-I didn't mean-" Arthur's words were cut off as Nicholas stroked him again and slid a finger inside him. Arthur thrashed his head against the bed as Nicholas pressed up to get him to lift his hips and lean forward more. He made a beautiful picture with his ass in the air and flushed, trying to deny what he really felt.
"I think you did, William... you're so hard."
"P-Please..." he whimpered, flushed with shame, but unable to stop the rock of his hips as Nicholas inserted another finger and curled them inside him. A stroke of heat and wetness along his spine made Arthur lurch forward. Nicholas pulled him back, pushing his legs apart farther and slide along the sheets to wraps his arms around the junction of Arthur's thighs and hips.
Arthur felt the scream and the sensation but didn't understand what was happening. It was wet and hot, wriggling around in side him, around the hole and over the arch of his ass and back. Something pricked and encased his sack and sucked gently. Arthur felt the tears again and he felt so pathetic. How could he enjoy this? Enjoy this man doing this to him? not just enjoying it, but wanting it, begging for more. There was something wrong with him, something darkly wrong with him and he would never be able to look his father in the eye ever again knowing this occurred. He'd never be able to meet the eyes of his knights knowing that... that he wanted to be taken, to be dominated, and fucked into oblivion, until he couldn't hear his own screaming.
How could he ever go back to being Arthur after this?
"Shh, "Nicholas soothed, pressing into him, filling him up, deeper than he had on the desk. Arthur gasped as Nicholas kissed away tears and pulled him up on his hands and knees. "It's alright... it's alright."
Arthur shook his head as he thrust into him, it would never be alright. It would never, ever be alright! He felt so disgusted, sneering at himself acting like a paltry whore being drilled into the mattress and enjoying it. The feeling of Nicholas's dick stretching him, filling him sent sparks of Avalon across his skin, the taste of his tongue, his hands, the smells, the sound of their hips slapping together, the position itself had been more than enough. He found himself unable to hold the position, sliding forward, but Nicholas didn't let up, slamming into him as slow as controlled, as deep and wild as he wanted. Arthur felt himself sliding across the sheets, being maneuvered into various positions of various levels of pleasure, all too much and shameful.
He wish he could cover his fact, but the leather belt was unyielding and well tied. He avoided Nicholas's kisses, but that didn't last as Nicholas jerked his head and kissed him hard. He wished Nicholas would spank him, punish him, run him through rather than dealing with this shame and horror with himself.
"Shh," Nicholas whispered. "It is who you are... and you cannot run from that."
Arthur shook his head, wanting to speak but they didn't come, swallowed by Nicholas's lips as he pressed Arthur's legs up and back, stroking into him and driving him higher and higher. He didn't stop even when Arthur was coming, or when he was shuddering with release. The adrenaline of the last fall hadn't had time to simmer down before the next ascent started, there was nothing but a continuous high. Yet even when Arthur was blind in the heights of passion, he didn't lose that sense of shame. It didn't leave him, it only heightened as long after Nicholas had let him rest, he could hear his screaming in his ears.
More! More ! Oh Gods, More!
Nicholas hadn't removed the belt, it was leaving red welts on his skin and making it off to lay on his back, but that wasn't important as he was pulled up against the larger man, against the headboard. Large hands stroked through his hair, offering bits of food to Arthur's mouth. He took it but said nothing. When the tray was empty, Nicholas pulled the belt free of his arms and kissed Arthur gently, sliding down to face the other and daring him to turn away.
"You have nothing to be ashamed of,"Nicholas told him and Arthur flinched. Nicholas, lifted his head so their eyes meet. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. It's okay."
He shook his head and Nicholas sighed, drawing him closer, kissing his temple, "You will see... that propriety has no bearing on what is right and wrong. That disgust and shame you're feeling, isn't yours. It isn't because you are inherently disgusted with yourself, it's what they've taught you... It's what they want because it makes their perfect little system run smoothly."
Arthur sniffled, "My father would disagree."
Nicholas smiled at that and kissed him again, "Your father... I take it hasn't approved of much of your life..."
Arthur stayed quiet, "That's the reason why you're here isn't it? A month of freedom before resignation to the dungeon cell of your life?"
Arthur nodded, not going into details.
"And what exactly is your crime?"
"Not being normal."
"Do you think it's a crime?"
"Yes."
Nicholas looked at him, "Then why come here?"
"I..."
Nicholas smiled, "It wasn't because you're a criminal now is it?"
No response.
"Because you were a prisoner without trial, from the beginning, all your life... and it's better to have freedom and have that to cling to as a view of the outside than to only know dark."
Arthur swallowed, letting the words float through him, "But... but it can never be again..."
"You'd be surprised," he said. "Obviously, I am not a prisoner to my life... neither will you be forever unless you chose to remain that way."
Arthur bit his lip and earned another soft kiss, "Sleep easy, we can talk more tomorrow."
Arthur sighed in deflation before Nicholas threatened him with another black out. He quickly curled up on his side to sleep, not flinching this time as Nicholas spooned fell asleep quickly surrounded by warmth and utterly exhausted. When he woke up, Nicholas informed him that he would teaching him something today, something that he'd done for Arthur the night before. Arthur flushed.
Which part?
Nicholas smiled at his embarrassment and pulled him from bed. They dressed in light trousers. It was warm enough that the flagstones were warm beneath their feet as they padded through the estate. They ate breakfast in the study room. The pages had been righted, the ink bottle replaced and Arthur was pleasantly surprised that it hadn't turned his entire head black and had washed out easily. They ate first before Nicholas instructed him to kneel before him as he sat in his chair and Arthur had a feeling that he knew what was going on.
"Have you ever done this before?"
Arthur shook his head glancing nervously towards Nicholas's crotch. He'd felt it inside him, but hadn't measure the size of it in his hands. It felt huge...
"We'll go so then," Nicholas told him. "You're free to say no..."
Arthur swallowed and shook his head reaching for the other's laces. It was fair and he was curious...if last night had taught him anything, he was more than open and more than capable of submitting to someone else. There was no disgust in the other's eyes or judgement, just anticipation and patience. He knew that there were people that wouldn't view this same... but the satisfaction that at least one person did had been the start of disrupting the iron grip on his mind and his teachings had on him. Apparently, that had been enough to quell the niggling thoughts, father said that-
Not everyone thinks like him...I'm not like him.
It was an odd feeling to be divorcing himself from his father's side, but if he was to be king... he had to forge his own path and understand new ways of thought... he had to... know himself more than anything... And the thought of sucking Nicholas into ecstasy sent chills down his spine: he wanted to. He was hard just thinking about it. Once the other's dick was free, Arthur unconsciously licked his lips. Nicholas felt it along his back.
"You look like you're thinking about eating me alive..."
Arthur didn't answer, staring intently as the half-hard flesh rose at his inspection. He leaned forward, not needing much guidance and drew his tongue along the under side of the shaft. Nicholas went tense but his breathing stayed calm as Arthur continued that way, getting used to the taste. It was warm and sort of salty, it was the smell that made him go back. Like woods and hunting on a clear summer day after it rained and tracks were easy to find. Pretty soon, he'd worked up the courage to open his mouth and slide it over the tip, going as far as he dared before he felt his gag reflex kick in.
"Take it easy, you'll learn..."
Arthur groaned at that promise and stroked the base with his hand, bobbing his head slowly. There was something else mingling with the taste of Nicholas's skin. His head tilted back as Arthur sucked on instinct and sped up, getting a little deeper with time.
"God you're a natural..." Nicholas praised, running his hand through Arthur's hair in a praising way. He squirmed and Nicholas smiled. "You can touch yourself, William. I'm glad you're enjoying it."
The whimper resonated through his nervous system as Arthur shoved his hand into his breeches to pull himself free and stroke in time and depth with his bobbing. Eyes fluttered closed and another fantasies, dirtier, darker and free from any sort of shame that they should have been. He figured that his body had gotten over that, amazing what a dick in the mouth can do for self-esteem...
"My, my, what a nice sight..." some deeper voice purred from the doorway. Arthur jumped back, trying to scramble out of the ignominious position as Nicholas's eye settled on the new comer.
"You're a little early aren't you?"
"Good thing too," the man grinned, rounding the desk to see Arthur on his knees.
He was practically filled with primaries, and hiding his face in his hands, curling up to hide what he'd been doing. Nicholas had no such qualms, his legs spread, his shaft standing at full attention and irritated with the removal of Arthur's mouth. Arthur didn't dare look up.
"Shy isn't he?" He said kneeling to get a better look at Arthur. "Quite a looker."
"A little, but he's very willing."
I'm right here! but the compliment did not escape him either.
"Willing?" He asked, reaching a hand to tug Arthur's hands away from his face forcefully, subduing them and dragging him close. "Let's see."
Arthur's eyes flew open as lips fell on his. The kiss was different than when Nicholas kissed him, much different. It was a little rougher, more demanding, and exuded a sort of power that made Arthur whimper and open his mouth without much nudging. He felt utterly possessed and crushed in arms that would not harm him, instead were sliding under his clothing, over the skin of his back and into his breeches, to nudge the sensitive hole with his middle finger. When they parted Arthur was gasping and the man gave a low hum.
"Hot and bothered may be a better word... he's as excitable as you were."
It was Nicholas's turn to flush, "Shut up."
Arthur trembled as the man slid the edge of his finger inside and wiggled it around.
"What's your name?" He asked casually.
"W-William," Arthur gasped , yelping as he was brought closer and up against the man's crotch.
"William, it's nice to meet you. I'm Alexander of Mercia...Call me Alex, it's easier to scream."
Nicholas swallowed and his cock jumped. There was something about Alexander that always did that. It was the confidence and the utter disregard for propriety that had drawn him in, it was the care and love that made him stay though. They'd been lovers for years, and while they didn't get to see each other as often as they'd like, it was getting better. Much better since they'd started this month long holiday thing. This would be the first time they'd included someone else, Alexander left him to decide and he'd chosen Arthur... Unknowingly, but he figured that he might as well hep the poor young man not even old enough to be Crowned Prince.
"I-I..."
Alexander turned him around, settling him back on his knees, and pulling his trousers down quickly. Arthur shivered at the sheer determination that left no room for questioning, nor did he feel the need to question as sure steady, and mystically slick fingers slid across and around his hole before plunging in and thrusting hard in a demanding and overwhelming pace. If he found it hard to think before, he wasn't sure if he existed as anything but a doer of wills now.
"Pull off your pants, Nick. Time to teach him the full gambit."
He'd done as he asked, easing his legs over the arm rests of the sturdy chair (which Alexander bought him for the purpose of screwing him at his desk) and waited. Alexander ran his eyes over him approvingly and tilted Arthur to look at him with hazy, lusty eyes and an open mouth panting as Alexander stretched him.
"Looks good doesn't he?" Alexander asked, kissing the side of Arthur's neck. "Absolutely sex, right?"
Arthur moaned a little, but nodded his head all the same making Nicholas's breathing a little harder. When Alexander had suggested this, he hadn't thought about how he would feel seeing his lover's hands all over someone else while he watched, or being on display for the two. His first reaction was to squash the idea, he'd grown too comfortable with Alexander's love to think about it, but he'd initiated it because it was something that Alex wanted to do and he trusted him enough that it was for a new kind of pleasure, not because he was tired of Nicholas.
He was more than happy he'd agreed to it when Alexander's fingers twined in Arthur's hair and force his mouth over his cock again, guiding his bobbing in time with the thrust of his fingers.
"Now William," he purred. "Suck hard and give me your hand."
Nicholas jerked at the prospect but didn't run. Arthur's sucking removed any semblance of panic or apprehension. Arthur wouldn't hurt him and he was sure that Alexander wouldn't let him either. He poured oil over Arthur's hand and told him what to do in so specific and lascivious of terms that Arthur had come from receiving the instructions and obeyed without thought. Nicholas hissed as the fingers entered him, probing gently, before speeding up to match the tempo Alexander set and the speed of his bobbing.
"Very, very willing... this is going to be great..." Alexander groaned, pulling his hand free from Arthur to maneuver his own pants out of the way and still Arthur's hips. He whimpered at the slow push into him and Alexander wasn't sure who was getting fucked: Arthur or Nicholas. It was Nicholas who moaned the loudest. His head fell back, dark sweaty bangs curled over his forehead. Alexander bit back a groan as he sunk fully into the squirming body of Arthur. Nicholas panted heavily as Alexander held Arthur's hips still and thrust forward, still guiding Arthur's bobbing with his other hand.
"Nick, you look positively euphoric."
The flush intensified and a shuddering gasp escaped him. While Arthur was inexperienced at a lot, he seemed to be a natural and quick study at the art of body manipulation, even while he was being screwed out of consciousness. He lost count of how many times he'd come, but once he'd realized that he was no longer sucking anything, and his face was on the floor, Arthur figured it didn't matter.
"Quite the stamina for such an inexperienced one..."
"He's eager," Nicholas said. "A month of freedom for the rest of his life."
Alexander shook his head, "Well, might as well give him the full experience."
Arthur barely heard them, but felt Alexander haul him up into his arms, cradling him in his arms and carrying him down the hall, Nicholas followed behind. A part of him wanted to be indignant at being carried like some fragile maiden, but he was so warm... he felt safe and cared for, his body twitched in sensitivity but nothing else happened. Soft folds of fabric was the next thing he registered, blankets over him and a kiss to his cheek. Someone climbed in behind him and someone else was headed out the door.
"Keep the bed warm," Alexander said from the doorway. Nicholas snickered at that and pulled Arthur back against him.
"Rest a bit," he said when Arthur started squirming. "Trust me, you'll want it later."
He didn't hear anything else for a while, Nicholas knew the feeling. Alexander was a very potent lover, he pushed hard, but never failed to satisfy. It had been a blessing for as long as Nicholas had been with him. Whenever he had troubles sleeping, Alexander would exhaust him, hold him close and protect him from his nightmares. Alexander came back, munching on a roll from the tray of food he'd brought, finagling a hot plate over the low fire and sliding meat onto it.
"You haven't been sleeping," Alexander said. "Don't lie."
He didn't bother to as Alexander kissed him soundly and pulled the blanket over him.
"You want me to make you?"
Nicholas whimpered at the suggestion and Alexander grinned, shucking the rest of his clothes and pulling a length of cloth from his pocket to gag him with.
"No need to wake him..."
Nicholas knew it wasn't that... had Alexander ordered him to be quiet when he ravished him, he would have obeyed, shoving his fist in his mouth to keep quiet. No, the gag was different. He wanted him to be muffled, not silent, he wanted the mark of forced obedience. He was going to make Nicholas black out for a few hours.
"Don't worry darling, I'll be gentle with him, while you sleep..."
Nicholas didn't hear that as Alexander drove into him hard, riding him harder than he remembered. His whimpers were muffled by the cloth, but not silenced, his hands gripped the bed sheets and he prayed that the bed wasn't moving as much as it probably was. Alexander shoved him down and held him still against his merciless thrusts and followed him towards the completely horizontal as Nicholas couldn't hold himself up anymore. It didn't take long. When everything became dark, Alexander removed the cloth and slid him into bed beside Arthur and a kiss. He shuffled over to the fire to pull the meat free and allow it to cool on the table beside the fruit. Arthur woke up soon after at the smell of food and looked over at Nicholas.
"He'll be out for a while, come join me."
Arthur bit his lip, nervously, but slid out of bed all the same coming towards the table. There was only one chair, he supposed he would sit-
Nicholas pulled him into his lap, settling him against his chest and subduing his struggling.
"Relax and eat... we'll be a lot more intimate than this when we're done..."
Arthur flushed and to keep himself from saying something stupid, he stuffed a roll in his mouth. He squirmed in Alexander's arms as his hands slid over him, over scars and more sensitive areas, never staying long but making Arthur's body react and tremble. He watched in fascination, the smaller man was either hyper sensitive or hyper aroused. He figured that it maybe a mix of both as he bit down on Arthur's shoulder.
"Are you done?" He asked, watching Arthur's arms tremble and drop the roll back onto the plate.
Nicholas still wasn't stirring behind them, but that didn't stop him from shifting Arthur into position on his lap and sliding into him easily. His hands guided the roll of Arthur's hips on his shaft until the other got the hang of it and began to ride him with abandon, panting in breathless, needy kisses. Alexander hushed him at the peak of his orgasm before laying him back and promising him more, a warm up before Nicholas woke up.
It started with a finger alongside Alexander's cock and Arthur yelped at the stretch, looking up at Alexander's concentrated and steady stare. He was watching him for any sign of pain overwhelming the shock, but it didn't come. He was too relaxed, wide eyes retreated to half-lidded eyes and Arthur fell back on the table as Alexander stood up and laid him across the table top along side the rest of the food. He went slow, making sure Arthur was on the edge of orgasm as he added fingers along his thrust. He got up to three before Arthur was screaming and crashing down through light and magic to his body.
Nicholas awoke to the sound of whimpering and Alexander's soft voice, the sound of lips meeting gently and the slide of a body across the table. He sat up to see Alexander's form looming over the table, Arthur's feet visible around his shoulders and Alexander's hand busy along side his dick. His dick sprang up at the thought of what Alexander was planning and he got of bed to cross the room and see Arthur's mouth open, breathless and groaning.
"Seems like... you've been busy..."
Arthur made a wanting sound, his eyes half lidded, turning his head, mouth open and inviting as Nicholas rounded the table. Alexander grinned at him.
"He's a total submissive," Alexander said. "Didn't take much to see that."
Arthur reached for him , panting, stuttering as Alexander turned him over and pulled Nicholas towards the other side so Arthur's mouth could take him in. Nicholas shuddered, steadying himself against the table as Alexander pulled out and kneeled to spread Arthur wide and taste him. Nicholas gasped at the visual and the thrumming around his shaft that came with it. He helped hold Arthur still as Alexander tasted him , probing and stretching him.
"Come here, Nick."
He pulled away, making Arthur whimper and chase the taste with his tongue as he rounded the table. He was spun around and guided into Arthur and shocked that he still remained so tight after Alexander's ravishment. That didn't last long as he felt Alexander's tongue inside him moments later. His eyes fluttered as he was forced forward over Arthur, crushing him into the table, tongued, and then slid into with gentle movements. Nicholas shook at the double riot of sensation and the heat. Alexander nibbled along his shoulder, he knew this was just a warm up to get them primed for the rest of the night. He knew that the rest of the month would find a way to be more than just intense, but world devastating.
He was right. For the better part of the month, Arthur's sex-crusted consciousness was interrupted with bouts with blackness. He wanted to feel it all, but he couldn't stay conscious through it all. He'd managed it when they'd taken him together, they came together once before he was out again. He woke up to the sound of Alexander gasping beneath Nicholas as he rode him, or thrust into him. It didn't last long as he was pulled onto Alexander's shaft, to ride it, to suck, to be licked at the same time. Most of the time, Arthur didn't recognize himself as a singular being, always connected to one of the two, always submitting to something, being ridden into oblivion because they wanted to be filled and he could barely sit up without swooning.
His body was hyper-sensitized and trained to react quickly. He knew it would be a problem when he went back to Camelot, but he didn't care. Screaming, begging, gasping for more, he didn't care. This was his reward, his freedom, to last him the rest of his life. He would damn sure make sure that he'd wrung every drop he could. Three days before he was to be dismissed, they lay in bed together, sticky, sweaty, and exhausted. They'd slowed down the pace of sex as the days passed and took more to long session of sensuality. Satisfied and snacking on fruit and bits of meat that Alexander had been kind enough (and able enough) to retrieve from down the stairs. He seemed to be the only one capable of ridiculous bouts of consciousness. Arthur wondered sometimes what he was doing as he drifted off into sleep sometimes, but when he woke up to Nicholas screaming his name, he figured the man slept almost as much as they did and just had the stamina of a god for some reason.
But it was Arthur who'd been exhausted the most, lying practically still listening to the conversation going on above his head.
"We'll leave for Camelot a few days after William leaves, everyone will be back by then."
Alexander nodded in agreement and sighed, "Somehow these visits seem to be getting shorter..."
Nicholas snorted, "You're only saying that."
"I'm serious, I'd like to petition you, my Lord for permanence."
Nicholas laughed at his silliness, but realized that Alexander wasn't grinning, he wasn't laughing. There was nothing to hint at a joke.
"Alex, don't be foolish..."
"Why would it be being foolish?" Alexander asked. "Are you telling me that I'm not welcome."
Nicholas frowned, shaking his head, "I don't understand."
"If you would have me, I'd like to stay permanently... the Duke's bedwarmer or something, manservant? Catamite? Whatever the term is, I could never remember."
"B-But... But you... you're family... you're..."
Nicholas smiled at him, reaching over Arthur's head to smooth dark bangs back and feel their softness.
"I've been disowned... I get my title, but everything else has been taken. Something of a disagreement between my father and I..."
Nicholas sat up then, "You never told me about this. What happened?"
Alexander sighed, trust Nicholas to want to mend family bonds instead of jumping at the chance to be with him! Why was the man so... righteous? loyal?
Goody-two shoes came to mind.
"Ugh, it's not important-"
"It is important! You're his only son, he wouldn't just disown you for no reason!"
He shrugged, "Doesn't matter. I'm free to do as I please no more hiding, no more running... We can be together. Isn't that enough?"
Nicholas bit his lip. Of course it was. He couldn't say how happy he was, but there was something else there... something else that Alexander wasn't tell him and he didn't want to accept this until he had all the fact.
"Alex... you know I want-"
"I just want you to think about it," Alexander said hurriedly. "I just want you to know that it can happen."
But at what price? Nicholas worried. Alexander kissed his worried lips gently and told him to get some sleep, that they would talk about it later and they shouldn't ruin their month holiday over something as trivial as that. As far as Arthur knew, they didn't speak about it any longer while he was there. When he was saddled up and ready to go, they breakfast together before the break of dawn, sharing languid kisses and food. They walked with him to the edge of the estate, where he said he didn't want them to follow any farther.
"William," Nicholas said, turning him to look at him and breathing in deeply. "Never forget what you've learned here."
Arthur wasn't sure what he meant, but was sure that he wasn't speaking of the sexual experience... He nodded in agreement as Alexander passed him something, a ring for his thumb. It fit well, Nicholas also gave him one with a smile.
"So you have faith when there seems like there is none," Alexander told him. "I don't think we'll need them."
Nicholas smiled, tightly and Arthur knew that they hadn't finished their discussion.
"I hope that when we meet again... you will not think less of me..."
Alexander looked a little amused as Arthur continued on.
"Don't make things too complicated," Arthur said looking at Nicholas. "He loves you."
Alexander grinned as Arthur swung up on his horse and waved them goodbye, breaking into run through the forest and towards Camelot's borders. When he arrived at the palace gates, he swung down and was met by Sir Leon who looked like he'd been worried about him, even though he'd known that Arthur was going to leave.
"I'm glad that you've returned safely. Have you any idea who took you?" Leon asked.
Arthur smiled at him, give it to Leon to have already come up with a story. Officially, he'd been taken by a sorcerer in a guard's uniform. As nothing that was officially Arthur's had gone missing, it was story easily believed. He'd gotten a staunch greeting from his father, thankful that he'd returned, a knowing look from Morgana and took his leave with the excuse that he was tired. As he climbed the stairs towards his room, he breathed in a deep and melancholy sigh, sliding into his cold bed alone, closing his eyes against the realization that his bed would be this cold for the rest of his life, whether a woman was beside him in marriage or not. He took pleasure at the feel of the smooth bands on his thumbs and kissed them both to keep the tears from coming. He didn't want to be back here, but he knew that he had a duty to his people that couldn't be avoided.
He continued to wear the rings for the next few days, through knight practice, and everything else. He felt them against his skin as he stood beside his father's throne and the guard announced that a Duke of Dale and a Duke of Mercia had arrived. Arthur's gut twisted. He hadn't even thought about the fact that they would know who he was now and it was a moment of shame that made his brain cloudy. SHame, the screaming, the begging and powerlessness, the submission... oh god, how could he-
The doors opened and the flutter of heavy and expensive cloaks Nicholas and Alexander cleaned up nicely in their armor, just as handsome as he remembered. He trembled inside, but held his body still, breathing gently to force away the thought of his heart racing.
Their eyes met across the hall, but there was no shock, no anything, just a glance of acknowledgement before bowing before the throne.
"Sire," they greeted and Arthur stood frozen.
They knew...or rather they'd always know. But how?
The conversation was brief, a simple pledge of allegiance and the promise of talks of negotiation. The council meeting was fairly short as both men were straightforward and easy. Uther begrudged Nicholas's stance on magic neutrality, but his assets were of vital importance and let it go. It was not an act of annexing anyway, thus the rule of Camelot stayed in place and none of Nicholas's military force was made of magic anyway. A feast was held in their honor, and they would stay for another day before heading off.
He wasn't sure how he'd managed to escape his his hideout, but he was thankful that he had. The West Tower had always been quiet, no one came there, the wind was easy and free-floating, it gave him time to think. There was no knock on the door, but a two pairs of footsteps into the room and the door was closed behind them. Moments passed, but he didn't need to turn to see who it was.
"You knew...How long?"
"Since I saw you," Nicholas said. "You look just like her."
Arthur turned to look at them. Nicholas was closer, Alexander lounged against the door.
"You... you knew my mother?"
Alexander nodded, Nicholas smiled.
"She was very kind to us, told us stories when were younger. I remember asking her what was happening to her stomach while she was pregnant with you."
Arthur's throat tightened as Alexander sighed.
"She would want you to be happy, Arthur...That much I'm sure of."
Arthur shook his head, "What's the price of happiness?"
Alexander and Nicholas smiled sadly at him, their eyes were warm and guiding.
"That is for you to decide," Nicholas said. "I can't tell you that it will be easy, that you will truly want to pay the price, that you can bear it... Because I can't tell you that. I can only tell you that you'll know what you want when you know how badly you want it... If you need anything, someone to talk to... we are here"
They hugged him then, bestowing a kiss each on his lips before heading down the stairs towards their own chambers. When Arthur arrived in his chambers, he stepped to his wardrobe and pulled the rings off his fingers. He couldn't have that happiness when he didn't know what it would do to him. He couldn't live the double life. So when he said goodbye to them at the palace gates, they nodded in recognition of the removal of the rings.
The three of them would exchange letters (Nicholas and Alexander's were usually co-authored) for two years after that until the entire Dukedom of Dale was overrun by some unknown force, demolished and left in ruins. He'd gone to help them, but it had been too late and all he could do was help the wounded and bury the dead... he realized that there had been only enemy soldiers found dead in the area, the estate had been empty when they attacked... He knew that there was a possibility for the two to still be alive, but he didn't not hear from them... After a month of silence, Arthur resigned himself to the fact that they were dead and locked the rings away at the back of his wardrobe along with the majority of the memories, never to be seen again.