Regression
And maybe she always has just been a self-absorbed little brat, but she grew last year, didn't she? Maybe she used the wrong means too many times, but they were towards the right end more often than not, weren't they? She was arrogant, perhaps, or insecure—but she always just wanted to be loved, really, and to be kind. The last thing Rachel ever wanted was to become, for lack of a better description, a Cheerio—a Santana or a Quinn.
Now Quinn is the martyred Hester Prynne (scarlet WMHS on her chest and all), and Rachel's just… Rachel.
She used to be a diva with a big heart and a soft spot for the unattainable Finn Hudson. But now that she has Finn in more ways than stolen-secret-shameful kisses, has the support of ten other glee clubbers behind her—oh, Rachel hates to admit it, but… she's bored.
Rachel spent the summer with the envy of the school on her arm, and he was stupid but sweet and everything she dreamed of to the point of predictability. God, she's starting to understand where Quinn was coming from.
She liked herself better when she was single.
Last year, Rachel was a diva with a big heart and a soft spot, but now she's just a diva (with a big voice and a soft moral code for show).
So she plays games, testing her friends, testing Finn—scares away Sunshine, whether for glee club or herself she still isn't sure, and tells Finn that he has to choose, Quinn or Rachel, football or Rachel. One minute, she says it's for them; the next, she says she's been selfish; the next, she's left alone with nothing but guilt and desperation to sustain her. Rachel thought there would be more to junior year than bittersweet solos and a boyfriend she wishes she remembered how to love. Clearly, Rachel was wrong.
She plays games, testing the waters, testing herself, and all signs suggest that she's regressed, lost whatever growth she sustained as a sophomore. She detests the shallow bitch within her and consoles herself with the promise of another shallow game, another bitchy struggle for power over Finn. The cycle continues.
Rachel used to like herself, didn't she?